Rosevalley - this is for you!

Love to you Rose.

Rosevalley, happy, grateful and glad you're feeling well enough to kick up your heels.

warm hug, Stephanie

Great news!

Loving you, dear Rosevalley.

Smiling at the image of your husband jigging for joy.

You tell us he is ever the optimist, wanting to believe every sign of improvement is sign of cure, how it's his way of expressing love for you.

And you are the more grounded realist - grateful for feeling good and more time, but keeping all your options open.

Sometimes, I really miss having a supportive partner or offspring, but am so grateful for my extended circle of care that includes family and friends to provide balance and equilibrium. I was reflecting the other day on how many of us have walked other friends through the end of life and death, even preparing friends' bodies for after-death at-home vigils. I'm so grateful to know I'll be appropriately cared for/about, no matter my level of need. And my hospice team - WOW! Daily nurse visits add a whole other dimension of love and care.

Counting my blessings too and you are one, Rosevalley.

The bco and my online groups bring many more blessings too.

much love, Stephanie

Well clearly the career to be is a plumber! Our kitchen sink got clogged on Saturday and we haven't been able to use it. So the dishwasher can't run, dishes all over and no way to wash them but the bath tub. Ugh. I called 4 places and no one called back. Finally got through to a drain company and wish us luck!!! I miss my kitchen sink!!

I am a person of simple pleasures. The drain pro guy just left and he was awesome - in and done in 45 minutes and the sink is empty and draining!! I am sooo happy. He unclogged it going through the roof vent. Good thing it's sunny and dry. Dishwasher is running; it is beautiful. It is a gorgeous fall day sunny and mild, golden leaves and blue skies. No nasty clown sightings. Just the regular Halloween outfits from the high school kids walking home.

Hugs to all.

Ruthbru- pretty funny! My DH was all for calling a plumber! We were both thrilled to see the water zip down.

Then my poor cat Percy peed on the little area rug... there was all this blood. It was almost like he wanted my attention. Now I am not sure what to do. He's eating and lost so much weight. Sigh.. take him to the vets tomorrow and ask. Poor old man. His plumbing is busted.

Sorry to hear abut Percy Rosevalley. My own Miss Kitty was just diagnosed with Kidney disease, stage 3 of 4. She had similar issues, peed outside the box, eating but losing weight. She was given semintra (spelling is probably wrong) and low protein food. Vet said she probably could have another couple of years of good quality life on this. We can also give her fluids under the skin to make her feel better. I was happy since she is also elderly. She also loves the new food, though it is expensive. Hopefully your vet gets to the bottom of it for Percy too as I know there can be other things that cause weight loss as well. Fingers crossed for you and Percy. Hope he can feel better soon so you can as well.

Yay that Oreo is doing better. Percy has lost more weight. No surprise there. The vet gave him a shot for a potential UTI. He's still peeing bloody urine. I can't tell if he's in pain. He sat in my lap and purred up a storm. He's eating tuna and I bought him kitten crunchies. The vet said to up his food intake and kitten food might do it. He was a little anemic before and no doubt with this continues to be. We didn't do labs since at age 16 what would we do differently. Palliative care at this point. Kind of like me... thanks for all the well wishes. He's my baby and I love the old man. I hope he is comfortable.

hey Rose!

I too am still around;) having my TMs backed down from 3000+ to 2 digits in 1,5 years (no kidding) I now say nothing is impossible. Stop thinking about the death row sister!

No fun, aching all over, breathing yucky, bloated all over, yet alive

I feel for Percy. My deceased cat Blanche suffered for a while as mom opted for therapy rather than palliative care. Well, I felt sad but went along.. Was relieved when she finally was buried by the roots of the chestnut tree in the garden.

Life is life.. Guess already having treatment, info, supporr love and still breathing, it's best to make the most of it. And witnessing you are doing that makes me happy Dear Rose!

Huge hugs, love

Ebru

Cat love!

RoseValley, I just heard from my county registrar of voters, the absentee ballots were mailed yesterday.

Doing my own happy dance, shoulder wiggle.

Loving you, my friend, Stephanie

Can you believe we met last November and here we are voting soon. Who would have guessed?!

Our ballots should be coming in the mail soon. Everything is write in here in Oregon. I can't wait to vote.

I got my 4 dose of navelbine and it's working my tumor markers are slowly going down. Ascites is the same. Joint pain is the same, fatigue is the biggest issue, but I can eat and get around. So in all it's doable. I count my blessings. I might dream about being here for Christmas. Dare I??

It is blustery and raining, coudy and moody here. There are a big series of storms lined up off the coast. They expect 6 inches of rain in 4 days and high winds 40-60mph. It will be a bear getting the dog to go out... ugh.. Stay dry ya'll!!

I have had the rug pulled out from under my feet too many times... I think Thanksgiving is doable and I hope to be able to plan a yummy vegan/ turkey feast. But I worry about after that. Still pulling gallons of fluid off.

You know I have to ask you Kandy and others. The school for the deaf here grades the kids at the level they are at. SO for instance my 15 year old reads and writes at a 4th grade level and for her IEP (special education plan) they grade her on improvement at her level. Her level for math is 6th grade. She is technically in 9th grade. So she is justifiably proud that she has all A's and one C in health. I gently remind her that the level is for 4th grade and not 9th grade so there is HUGE room for improvement. She gets angry with me. "I have all A' s my teachers say so. I am in high school in 9th grade." She will get a modified diploma.

It seems the school lies to the kids by painting a picture of success that simply does not exist except at the Deaf school. Any other kid in 9th grade would get straight F's for being years behind. What purpose is there lying to these kids and having them feel like they are honors material when they read and write like 4th graders on a good day? My kid thinks she will go to college. She has straight A's better then her sister. It's a horrible lie and paints an unrealistic picture of opportunities that don't exist and dreams and goals that are decades away... The kids will be humiliated and shocked once they hit the real world standards of community college. I also can't understand how the school gets away with it legally since you can't do this to a normal kid. My daughter is of normal intelligence and is only deaf. Over half the kids at the school can't read and write at a 3rd grade level. I see their texts and it's sad.

The school excuses it's responsibility to teach the kids English by saying they are all English as Second Language learners since their first language is American Sign Language. They have to be culturally sensitive and provide all instruction in ASL. That's fine and one can be bilingual but you have to be able to read and write well enough in English to read an apartment contract, buy a car, pass a drivers license exam, read banking statements, recipes, instructions and directions or you are severely handicapped. The world will not provide you with an ASL interpreter for life - like it or not America thinks and works in English. I think it is horribly unfair the way the Deaf School doctors up these kid's expectations and sense of self when they eventually will have to produce a written piece of paper to communicate to a hearing clerk or Boss and humiliate themselves with poor grammar, wrong verb tenses and unintelligible sentences. That's my rant for the day.

Sending a big hug to Ebru, Stephanie, and Rosevalley on this fine Autumn day!

Percy continues to lose weight but he seems more comfy since the antibiotic shot. He's eating too. I made him some salmon patties and bought kitten crunchies. He seems to like that. He's such a sweet boy.

My DD3 is happily working at the Haunted house. She loves it and thinks it's pretty hilarious how the hearing kids get so scared! The deafies don't get startled by chain saw noises and the like, so they can scare others easily. Then my DD2 took a friend to haunted house in Portland and said she laughed so hard at her reaction to a scary clown that she burst into tears! Both kids find clowns to be scary business. I am glad everyone is having fun. My oldest being disabled, wants no parts of being scared and will not participate in haunted anything. I don't know what I would do with myself if I didn't have my girls. Love them. I like listening to their stories and activities.

I wish this chemo had some effect on the ascites fluid, but it has none. I pull off packed containers filled to the brim. 7+ liters a week. I simply can't imagine not having this drain- my goodness I would blow up like a tick. I was 4 cycles down and I am having fatigue, joint and muscle pain. Happily no N/V and no GI issues (diarrhea or constipation) either. So next week I have a break and we will see how my cancer reacts.

I can't wait for my voter card to come in... where is it?? I am soo anxious to vote in this election. I wasn't this anxious since 8 years ago. I love voting. We have a wonderful country and it is blessed despite the drama and fighting. We have had non stop rain and it's finally calming down. All the hoopla about this being a crazy bad storm (sat) turned out to be just a lot of wind and rain... so what's new here?? My rhodies like the weather.

Stephanie you are welcome for the rain and I wish we could send you more rain cause I am kind of sick of it. It is making me down. Every time I try to get up and out to do anything it's raining. Wet grey cold mess. I got 20 bottles and I have motored through 7 of them. One full one a day. Every morning some relief and then I fill up all day - by night time I am bloated and round bellied. The endless cycle. I lay on my left side and listen to my ribs click and I am tired. So tired and kind of down.

I finished my Halloween cards and put red flame maple leaves in brilliant red-orange inside. It's the most beautiful tree just glows in what sunlight we have. Yesterday I asked my DH if he missed his Mom and Dad and talking to them. He said yes, but it's been 15 years since his Mom died and 10 since his Dad passed. My Dad passed 10 years ago too. My Mom has dementia and simply can't keep a conversation going. It's great to hear her voice but there is no one behind it. I have spent time talking to the cat today... therapy in fur. Cats don't tell. I feel so bad to leave my DH alone and worry that the stress of watching me slowly die for years is aging him and him and isolating him. More then anything I want everyone to be well and happy - then to die and be free of cancer. This isn't living so much as existing in some cancer purgatory. I feel guilty that I am not happy but when you never feel good it's kind of difficult... causes an existential crisis of sorts.

You suddenly realize there is nothing you really need or want (that you can have like health and well being) and you feel rather useless.

Take care. hugs