STEAM ROOM FOR ANGER
Comments
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Thanks for the hugs.
Today I got managed free time to make a list of all those balls. It's a much longer list than I would like, but now that I know the scope of work I somehow feel better. Not that I can get all that done in a year, but some of it I have a year to get done.
And guess what. . .it's the WEEKEND!! (and the sun came out today, if only for an hour)
Artistatheart, now that's annoying. When the coordination of care doesn't happen I go off the ledge. There was a period where I was seeing three or four doctors regularly. I was petrified one would say to do A, and another would say to do 'not A'. I finally asked my onc who was in charge. He told me he was in charge. So now I take all problems to him and he acts on them. You need one of your docs to stand up and take charge.
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Mara, that was rude, impolite and just plain nasty for your brother to do! These are people you do not need in your life right now - use your ticket to self preservation and avoid rude, uncaring folks. I have had to snip off my MIL and minimize her and her stupid remarks. It was bad for me, for my marriage and allows me to focus on my work and my son.
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Thanks April, hope you are able to throw some water on the bonfire. Yes Pam I plan to bring it up with my Onc next appt. Although last time I went in she instructed the nurse to have me put on a gown for an exam and I had to tell them they just did one.....Anyway, yes it's the weekend! I am finally almost done with purchasing season at work and get 10 weeks of in the summer. So all in all things are looking up for now.
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Now my turn to be PISSED OFF about something! I just got an email from a staffing agency about sending her candidates for job openings (something that happens regularly since I am an Employment Specialist and help people get jobs by either retraining them or placing them in employment, sometimes subsidizing it during their training period with federal funding) and the e-mail said the following:
"Also, do you have anyone that has a military background (in 20's or 30's- heavy lifting)." for what it is worth, that statement is TOTALLY ILLEGAL as she referenced AGE! Why are some people so freaking dumb? Many of my clients biggest issue is AGEISM!!! Totally pissed me off. After my husband lost his job of 22 years, in 2009, it took him almost 3 years to find another one and the pay is only HALF of what he used to make. He has a BS degree and did everything right...his only crime? He is 60! Damn fools.
Ok, off my soapbox. Thanks for listening! xo
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I am so disheartened by how cruel people can be especially in a professional environment. I took great pride in keeping my chin up, working all through bilateral mastectomy, failed reconstruction, infections, chemo, the works.
The comments and jokes that people will make when theyt think you can't hear them are hurtful beyond belief. And yet I keep going back every day choking back the tears and trying to hold my chin up with some semblance of pride. Going to work without hair was hard. Going to work without breasts was hard. Going to work sick, tired, and with drains attached...hard. Hearing someone gossip behind my back today when I finally had the courage to wear my prosthetics for the first time in over a year-----heartbreaking. Couldn't they just stay silent?? Corporate announcement: Yes!!! She's wearing false boobs. Did they think I didn't know??
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luckyladyin pa, I just want to junk punch the jackass that said such a hurtful thing. Hugs, Msp
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Luckylady they should be telling you that you look great! And thanking their lucky stars that they're not dealing with a nasty disease.
I bet you do look great!
I wish I could think of an excellent come back for you to use, but not my forte.
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luckyladyinpa - so sorry to hear the people at your work were so insensitive and rude. Sending you some hugs!!
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Reminds me when one of the busybodies on my street kept trying to raise up gossip "yea she has fake boobs". One day I waited until I saw her group of cronies were gathered on the lawn in front of her house, all sipping on their pepsi max (or beer) and smoking their stinky cigarettes. I went real quick and put on a spaghetti strap tank top that I pulled low enough that I was almost spilling out of it, then went there and got in her face and said "yes, see? they are fake. They are fake and fabulous. And they'll be fabulous til the day I die. Do you think men care if they're real, enhanced or reconstructed? They don't, as long as they look good. Good luck with your shriveled prunes." Turned around and went home. She hasn't spoken to me (or about me) since. But if looks could kill....
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LuckyladyinPA, how insensitive of them. Instead of being supportive during such a time.
We have to think of a witty come back...what about: yes, you're so observant! Or: thank you for noticing (in an ironic voice).
(Soon I'll be in the same boat and I'm dreading it...at least I'll still be alive to go to work. Hmm maybe I should use this as a come back: False boobs? yes, it was that or dying)
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I don't think anyone should have to think of a comeback for a crack about having fake boobs. If someone at work makes such a comment, they should be reported to the employer and disciplined as a harasser. The only comeback that would affect a jackass like that would be the comments from their manager during a disciplinary hearing where there was the threat of losing their job.
MsP
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Ms. Pharoah!
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MsPharoah, I prefer to deal with these kind of situations myself and not to have to go to my boss. If the situation continues then yes, I'd go to the boss but usually people react like that due to ignorance.
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MoreShoes, I say this with all respect, bu you are a better woman that I am. I think that "ignorance" can only go so far in adults and even in older children when it comes to this kind of thing. Anyone who would make fun of someone who had ANY surgical procedure for cancer and had to wear a prosthetic is definitely rude and enjoys cruelty and is not ignorant. My children would have known better at the age of 7 or 8 then to say something rude about another child who had a prosthesis or a deformity. The ONLY way to teach someone who is that cruel a lesson is to go to management and then demand an apology imho. If they value their job, they will think twice about making cruel comments in the future. That is the lesson.
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April485, I'm not a better woman. I think it's occupational hazard... I'm a teacher and feel that everyone needs to/can be educated :-)
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Leslie-Fay, you are way more than your body and your body parts! Please NEVER sell yourself short. You have a brain and a heart and those are the single most important things we possess. Never forget that. There are men who are not superficial. You haven't found one yet. You have to also look past your own bias about your body before you are comfortable with a man loving you again. Hugs. You are wonderful just as you are. Remember that!!!!!!!!!!
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Really!!!! Coworkers and relatives getting upset by our boobs or lack of and hair! It's so upsetting...but people who comment on our trials and physical issues should be smacked. Can you imagine the crap they must say about people who have lost a limb or are in a wheel chair? My dog doesn't give a shit....so why should anyone else. This makes me so angry and emboldens me to speak easier with my 6 year old who I think it's so unfair for him to have to learn about cancer at age 6. Then again at least I will raise him not to be a bastard or bitch like these people are. And to think some of the have/will reproduce. Mind boggling.
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Dr. Erika Schwartz's article just told me it is my fault I got cancer! She also told everyone of my family/friends/co-workers/neighbours etc - if they read her article! Great. Now they think I was too fat and lazy not to get cancer. Did anyone mention that 3 of my father's 3 sisters died of cancer (2 of breast cancer) and that cancer now extends into the next generation even in the male sons of these sisters! Are we all just fat and lazy?
I read this:
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Little-Known Truth About Cancer
By Erika Schwartz, M.D
Thursday, 28 Apr 2016 03:26 PM More Posts by Erika Schwartz, M.DHere's a truth few women know: Cancer cells exist in our bodies all the time, and a healthy body controls them so that they never turn into a cancer diagnosis.
If we treat our bodies kindly, with a healthy diet, regular exercise, supplements as needed, balanced human-identical hormones, stress management, and proper rest, often the cancer will recede.
Have you ever wondered about the millions of women around the world who have never had a mammogram and also those who have never even seen a doctor? Are they just lucky not to get cancer?
No. They avoid cancer by avoiding radiation, toxic foods and drugs, alcohol and sugar, processed foods, and also by getting regular exercise, sleeping well, and living a generally healthy lifestyle_________________________________________________________________________________________
I have read enough on this site to know that many slim, fit, health conscious, calm ladies got cancer despite doing everything right.
The good doctor asks and then answers her own question - but she is wrong. Are they just lucky not to get cancer. YES.
And she does them a disservice by lulling them into thinking they are safe.
Rant over.
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Bounce,
I'm one of them. First BC dx at 31. Fit, runner, vegan, no sugar, alcohol. 2nd dx 12/15, still no alcohol, sugar, no red meat, vigorous exercise. Stage 3 IBC.
Since having BC I've gained weight. Hmmm. So now it will really be my fault if I get a recurrence or progression
Arghhhhh
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I posted this on the Newsmax site of that idiot doctor
"Re: Little-Known Truth About Cancer..By Erika Schwartz, M.D
This doctors license should be stripped from her. This is probably the worst article I have ever seen in print about cancer. None of the things identified in your article have been absolutely proven to prevent cancer. I hate that researchers and doctors can get away with falsely stating things from studies. Since each person now has a 1:2 chance of having some form of cancer in their lifetime, to blatantly say it's their fault is unconscionable. Ms Schwartz when you get cancer, you will realize how stupid your words were. Shame on you"http://www.newsmax.com/Health/ErikaSchwartzMD/cancer-womens-health-sugars/2016/04/28/id/726295/
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You should come with your own "like" button, SAS
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Amen to that BlondeDoris!
Sas!
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That Doctor is horrible. Good for you sas. When people have asked why I think I may have got breast cancer, I tell them because I had breasts. That is all it takes for women/and some men too to get it. I don't buy the strip out sugar/eat well blah blah blah will 100 per cent save you and blaming people who already have it is like slapping a rape or crime victim after the fact. Just plain ignorant. Lots of overweight, drinking, junk eating, no sleeping etc people will NOT get cancer. Sometimes I think the blame is easier for people than the fear it can happen to them. Just a matter of whether their cells decide to go crazy on them more than anything.
That is not to say I don't believe in healthy lifestyles but I have come to believe the healthy body may assist in treatment in mitigating some SE, not preventing it. Possibly risk reduction but who knows.
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Who is this Bi****??? I was diagnosed in 2008 (I was 63) because I was adopted and had been given no health advisory (even though I begged for one for years) there was no way to figure out the "why" for my bc - well as luck would have it I heard from the adoption service the day of my second chemo and guess what - my birth mother had died from Mets bc when I was nine years old (that would be 1954) so for all those years I didn't know that I was a "ticking time bomb" - I was tall, slim and got lots of exercise, ate well (still do) but I don't believe that has anything to do with anything - I still ended up with MBC because I inherited it!!!!! Now I am quite overweight thanks to the lovely drugs I have to take to stay alive and I have trouble getting exercise because I hurt in every tendon, bone and muscle in my body - can never stay asleep longer than 5 hours......the list goes on and on. All this just to say WE AREN'T RESPONSIBLE FOR OUR DISEASE - IT'S THE LUCK OF THE DRAW!!!!! Leave us alone!!
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ditto. Nothing we did or didn't do caused our cancer.
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Sas - thanks for posting a comment telling it like it is! Today you are my hero.
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Aw gals I'm gushing
I have thought over the years I could mess with peoples minds when they ask what caused the cancer. I could say mindless things like "Toothpaste", "Coffee", "Chocolate", "Sex". Can you imagine their teeth falling out, can't wake up, never satisfying the craving for chocolate, that goes for sex too LOL. Please, come up with some other suggestions we could really make a good list.
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Sas,
I'm fairly new to BCO and just found this thread - just placed in on my favorites list. I think you'd make a great third party candidate...
I have another cause for cancer to put on your list. The first thing my DH said when I was first diagnosed was he "told me that sleeping under a heating blanket would ruin my health."
Best wishes to everyone here!
Angela
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