Rosevalley - this is for you!

Kjones- that's pretty wisteria picture! I am sorry the vines took off. In our CA house in Davis we planted wisteria on the posts and slats covering our porch. The vines provided just enough shade. It was a very airy lacy effect. The vines weren't very old though. It did attract bees when it was flowering but I love the smell. Sounds like quite a yard lots of upkeep.

Loverly your flowers are so beautiful. Our peonies are just about to flower and they are huge buds. The rhodies are still bursting and the roses have not fully opened. Wish I could send pictures. My DH has a smart phone I need to get him to send some pictures. This morning I have a whopper headache. We are supposed to get sunny weather maybe it's a high pressure system. I need the sun.

Went to my monthly appointment at the oncologist yesterday and I saw the PA. Things are stable. Labs good. Tumor markers only dropped 40 points but they dropped. I was disappointed they didn't drop more. Ascites is the same. So we stay the course. My goal is to live through the first week in September so my DD3 has someone here at the house over the summer. That's a 3+ month block June, July,August and first week in September. I hope for that.

Here is sending you out hugs and well wishes. Thank you for your support.

Dear Rosevalley,

You've been on my mind and in my heart as you renew your commitments to love and support your family members. You inspire me with your devotion to your husband and daughters. Also for your willingness to deal with whatever is, including facing depression, getting help and changing what can be changed. You are an extraordinary human being.

Cancer isn't a gift, but you are one of the gifts that cancer has brought to my life. Thank you!

Today, my friend the birth and death midwife Constance Miles brought me this bouquet from her garden. She's birthing plants as well as babies. The red rose on the right is 6" across!.

The scent of roses and rose geranium are filling my cottage.

Love overflowing my heart, Stephanie

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY gals! Jazzy, that was so cute, what you said about all of us, including you, helping Rosie feel better! It's like we have all the wagon's circled... and we're out there with our camp-fire, singing "Kum-ba-ya my Lord"... or whatever that camp-fire song was... We have lots of marshmallow's and Hershey's with Graham-crackers, and we're all just good friends, helping each other as best we can!

Jazzy, how sweet about your neighbor...! Yes, sometimes we see something, and we don't need to say anything... it's just that's what life is... and we go on... Every time we visit our old neighbor in Assisted Living, and walking her to Dinner, we see so many things that could break your heart, but you put on that smile, and talk to them, and maybe make their day a little brighter...

Special hugs to you little Rosie.... AND to your girls! xoxoxxo

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ROSIE! I'm just waiting for my Comte de Chambord Heirloom Rose to bloom for the first time! A little early in the season, but I know it will be beautiful! xoxo

Rosevalley- Happy Mothers Day. An iris I found blooming in my garden today and just for you!

hey rose. Checking in on you and I see you are surviving and improving. Hooray !! You've been on my mind and in my prayers but I've been wrapped in m own depression funk. So glad to read your latest post. I see you new goal is to live til Sept. I think you can do thisand hopefully so much more. I remember when your goal was to make it thru Christmas, and you did. I remember when you were ready to quit , but you didn't. Your strength and love of family is amazing. Big hugs

Hi Rosevalley,

Here you are!

Glad I thought to look at your thread and even gladder to hear about your Mother's Day celebration with daughters and husband. Feeling happy for your happiness.

"Caring and nurturing is what keeps us alive and it's the ultimate gift of life."

I've been reading Tibetan Buddhist descriptions of loving kindness and they often use the image of a mother's care for her child. May we be kind to one another and ourselves, whatever our circumstances.

Sending you warm well wishes, dear Rosevalley, Stephanie

This is from the veterinarian at the SF Zoo. Baby born that day! Beautiful mother, beautiful baby!

Ebru good to see you! It's been hard this life in cancerland... you have been having hard times too. I saw the picture of your DH in the hospital when you were having lung problems. I hope you are feeling better and breathing better. You are so strong and try so hard. Having a child makes us work that much harder to stay alive and be a mom.

It's such a roller coaster ride this life in cancerland. I try so hard to live a good life and be there for my kids and DH and pets. I woke up this morning queasy and full. I pulled off more fluid then normal with my drain and got very nauseated and vomitd several times. I haven't vomited in weeks so that was depressing. I panic when it happens since I don't want a return to the bowel obstruction and relentless N/V of Dec-Feb. I worry the faslodex is slowing down and will stop working. Worrying does not help but I can't stop myself. The zoloft is working but not enough so my PCP increased it. We will see how that does. I am worried about my dog who is sick and my youngest DD who suffers from mental health issues. Life in cancerland does not mean life doesn't have it's challenges. Ugh...

Patty I was so happy to see you post. You too have had a hard time with N/V and the big D... my heart goes out to you. Glad you are out of the hospital and home with your boys. I hope your depression funk lessens. Gentle (((Hugs))) life is hard and sweet. Being a Mom is big motivation.

Stephanie and Feelingfeline thank you for the Mama and baby photos. I thank you all for your posts, photos and kindness. It lights up my life and makes me smile. I am grateful and wish you all great peace and love.

Rose--so sorry to hear about the n/v. Crossing my fingers and toes that it doesn't happen again! Just a thought...maybe ask about taking Wellbutrin along with Zoloft. These two are supposed to help with not only mood but energy. Lexapro and celexa were the two (not at the same time) that I had the longest go with. It's just hard. No drug is going to take away the crap of cancerland blues. Hopefully it can take the edge off a little. I pray for you everyday. I wish I could take your worries away. Your puppy feel better, your daughter to have less stress and dh too. You are loved and we are here by your side holding the hope for you

Judy's roses and nicotiana next to my cottage wall.

Joy!

I send you joy, dear Rosevalley.

Fingers crossed that you continue to eat and enjoy. And that you and your pup feel a bit better each day.

We are walking the hard road and yet there's still much beauty to en-joy.

warmest healing regards, Stephanie

Thank you wonderful sisters. I am sad right now. I just got off the phone and got results from the tumor marker run last week. It jumped up to 870. My ascites fluid is increasing and I feel full after eating again. I had that one episode of N/V. So the faslodex reprieve was short 3 months. Sigh.. My oncologist will add Ibrance. I need to make it to September so my 15 year old doesn't spend a summer in the house alone. Cancer sucks.. this is such a roller coaster ride.

Stagefree you know what it's like these ups and downs, as do you Stephanie.. life in cancerland is hard. We just keep on keeping on. My hopes were too high. Well Ibrance has to work for 4 months. It just has to.

Oh dear Rosevalley, my heart is cracking open and all the love is pouring toward you like light.

You and our D&D thread is why I joined bco.

While I want to be okay with whatever happens to/with/for you, this is such hard news for me to receive.

If my heart is breaking and my tears are flowing, I can only imagine how it is for you now.

I'd likely be numb and angry...yet I wonder if the depression and meds are keeping you from plunging into emotions - places you might not want to go now.

Remember, dear Rosevalley, you've had so many unexpected reversals already. I am praying for another reprieve for you. For your dd3. for your whole family and all of us who feel connected to you.

You are so lovable and so loved, Rosevalley!

love always, love, Stephanie

That really stinks. I am also praying that things can be turned around again, the sooner the better. Ascites has got to be miserable. We are all hoping that something helps soon.