Rosevalley - this is for you!

Hi Mags! I didn't know what it was! Just a pretty picture! I ordered a pretty pink double rose bush last year.... It's still doing good, and hopefully it will bloom this year.... A pretty pink, very fragrant rose.... so it says! Ha!

Pink was my Mom's favorite color... I'll take a picture as soon as it starts doing something....

Susan3- Thanks! My feelings were hurt by the behavior of my neighbor. We have lived across the street 2 houses up and over for years and years. They know I have battled breast cancer for years. We talk.. or did. I am not sure how much I plan on saying anything anymore. He's really nice- it was his wife. In a hurry.

Wonderful that your friends came out and helped walk for you and took her little ones too! That is so sweet. You have some wonderful friends. I hope you are having a super time with the new baby. Being a Grandmother is wonderful. Lucky you!! Enjoy.

To all those who posted roses-LOVE THEM! Thanks for thinking of me and sharing your gardens.

Jazzy- the doves are so cute all nested up together. I didn't know they mated for life. I knew Eagles and Canada geese do. We like to watch the chickadees and gold finches at our feeder. We buy sock feeders with nyger (sp?) seed for the goldfinches and they love it. It's fun to watch them. It's stopped raining! It's sunny Yahoo. Sun is good. My knees are healing but my joints and hips are still sore from that fall. Falling when you are 57 is a whole different ballgame then hitting the deck as a kid. It didn't effect the drain. I am doing that every 3 days and got off almost a liter. I wish it would slow down and stop but it doesn't look like that's in the cards. The longest living person with a pleurx drain is 18 months. I have had mine for 8.

Be well sisters! Lovingkindness to you all. ((hugs))

Jazzy, I have the same plant I bought about two weeks ago. There are tiny buds. Can't wait until they bloom. Magenta is one of my favorite color.

Rose, so good to hear the drain was not affected by the fall. If only we can laugh away cancer......

Good morning everyone. It's still cool but SUNNY! Yay. Sun is good. I love the photos of the flowers. So pretty. That's a funny note about the stolen lunch one bite and tossed. I laughed. Where do you find these things?

I need to take our old 11 year old Border collie in and have the Vet check out her shoulder. She's limping. Maybe arthritis? Not sure. I hope it's nothing serious. She is such a sweet dog.

I feel so silly about being addicted to this TV show called "Alone." Normally I only watch a few things on TV -HTV tiny houses and fixer uppers. I like that show Naked and Afraid because it's so off the wall that I can't believe they do it. But Alone is a survival show in the wilds of Vancouver Island. I have been up there and it's isolated, cold and rainy. It's also gorgeous and wild. There are wolves, bears and cougars. It is a facinating show. They just started a new season and this one has women in it. They have to find all their own food and shelter, water and not go nuts being alone for months. Cancer is a mind game too. You have to learn to survive between the appointments. Keep up beat with uncertainty. Search for meaning and solace daily, while knowing your life is likely counted in months not years. Stay present and comfort yourself. Cancer can be lonely. People don't want to talk about dying they don't want to invest in someone who is unlikely to live. We in Cancerland live our own kind of survivalist show like Alone. These boards help make the journey less stressful and less lonely. I am grateful to have this place to come to.

Palms together in gratitude for your friendship and community. Lovingkindness to all.

love rosevalley

Btw, Pinterest is where I found these sillies ( is that a word?). Now it is.

Stephanie- blessings and lovingkindness to you. That you take time out to wish me well is so sweet. Your journey is hard right now. That you all take the time out to offer support is wonderful and I am deeply appreciative!

I have been struggling with depression and I noticed that the reglan I take to move food through my gut has a side effect of depression on long term use. I have been taking it past the recommended 12 weeks. I started in Dec. and it's got some side effects. So I bet that's the reason for this misery. Unfortunately I am miserable with food not moving through too. So I have cut back on the amount I take. I added Zoloft. Hoping better living through chemistry!

Aromatase Inhibitors also made me depressed. I was positively suicidal on arimidex. I quit taking it after 6 months, between the depression and the unrelenting joint pain.. It was horrid. I think our bodies are supposed to have some estrogen and none plays havoc. We are chemical beings as anyone who went into instant menopause through chemo (I did at 48) would know that! Chemical menopause in a chemo cocktail... instant drop off a cliff. No fun. Pity the poor women in their thirties. The sad truth is that we have to take the drugs to live at all. So it's life under the veil of pill side effects or death. Some choice right?

I am feeling a little better. Although I am draining every 3 days and took off 800. All day it has made me feel odd. Sometimes I have no effect, other times not. Still I am grateful to be able to take off the fluid. Beats carrying around a liter sloshing your gut and pressing on your intestines. The Faslodex shots have slowed things down. I walk several times a day. I am not at all hungry and continue to lose weight slowly. Food is just not very appealing. I can't eat vegetables and things with roughage and not pay (vomit) so it's always the same. Eating to live. Interesting because I used to LOVE to eat and am over weight so this is a new reality for me. The comfort of food is gone. Food can hurt, cause misery nausea and vomiting so I am very careful. Food to live is what i do now. It's really interesting how puking for months and being on 800 calories of liquid drinks only, shrinking your stomach and learning how to eat again has rearranged my entire outlook to food. I eat just enough to live and sustain my energy. I eat tiny portions and feel full fast. It's been an experience. Not an experience to repeat. At least I can eat which was not an option in Jan and Feb.. so things have hugely improved. I do wonder how long this will last. I get tumor markers drawn this week and meet with oncology next week. Fingers crossed.

My sweet border collie is doing better on anti inflammatory meds. Her black mask around her eyes and ears is getting streaked with white and her joints are old. They did an xray at the vets and did not see any damage. I was told no ball and frisbee jumping until her shoulder heals. She doesn't understand. Poor thing. I was surprised she has lost 4 pounds. She always weighs the same year after year- 45 pounds and she was 41. So she has been getting two nice walkies and pats and rubs. Trying to let that shoulder heal. I have near constant pain in my back so I understand. Thank you for all the flower pictures they make life sweet. Life in cancerland is hard. Only those folks who have visited cancerland really get it. Lovingkindness to the sweet souls who understand!! Blessings to you all. Thanks for letting me vent and ramble.

Loving all the roses!!! So pretty

Jazzy I bet where you live the rains moisten the earth like a kiss! It's so dry and the dust must go down and the plants love it. Here we get too much rain and we have had our average yearly amount by March, over in fact- that if it didn't rain until October we would be good. Of course I don't want that, it would get too dry. I like the green and you need water/rain for green. Right now we are having sunny 70 degree weather and tomorrow is supposed to be 80! Today we went to the Portland Japanese Garden and the rose garden. Both were stunning. Rhodies, wisteria, azaleas, dogwood ...wow. We were in heaven. Gardens to me are healing spiritual places. We met up with our DD2 and had dinner. It was a very fine day to see her and visit. All in all a perfect day... gardens, flowers,sun, family good food.. life.

Loverly- we have a Peace rose bush that puts out tons of blooms and they smell sooo good. Yellowy roses with blush pink edges.Soo pretty very similar to that one. The colors are more vivid when it's hot.

Stephanie- yes we both honor our dying and living parts. I see both in my life. It's hard to reconcile knowing that you live and are dying too and stay being positive through out the day. The draining of fluid is a continual reminder of anatomy gone terribly wrong under cancers grip. Pain in my back and hips a reminder of cancer's presence in my bones. The constant pills. Life is not normal. I do my best to make it normal and fun for me and my family. Firmly placing cancer on the back burner. Worrying about it won't help. Meet it with love.. hello my dying failing body parts I love you. I know you are doing your best and failing. It's ok. More of me works then doesn't - today will be a good day! And it was a good day.

Mentally planting lovingkindess and sending it out like seeds to the wind ,colors our thoughts. Planting a future crop of love and good will. Spread the care and love. It comes back to smile on you.

hey rose! So glad you got out and enjoyed a lovely day with your dd2. The gardens sound so beautiful! I always appreciate your posts. Giving us the real you. Unfiltered. Such a gift.

Wisteria is a bad word in my house! When we moved into this house (2012) our yard was completely overgrown! We could barely get to the front door. The people before us had planted many dogwoods, but way too close together. In the back yard there were several trees and huge bushes completely out of control.

I was dx a month after moving in. We were very blessed to have my family and friends come to the rescue! We had to cut down dogwoods so the others would survive. We had to take out everything in the front of the house and replant. In the back we had to cut down trees (that were rotted and would have fallen into the house!). And then there was the wisteria. I had never heard of it. My dad is retired us Forrest service... A tree Doctor we cut and pulled and cut on that invasive vine! To our surprise we found a basketball goal intertwined and completely hidden from sight! It almost killed all of our pine trees! We have been able to keep it under control but we have to stay on top of it!

I went to the biltmore house one spring day to stroll through the gardens and saw wisteria! They had it wound they huge trellises (I don't know how to spell that). Anyway, it was gorgeous and smelled so good! I can see why people thought it would be nice to introduce in America...but I guess they had no idea how invasive it was! Let me see if I can find a picture from the biltmore estate.