Can we have a forum for "older" people with bc?
Comments
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Good morning everyone! Cloudy and looks rainy here. But still a good day.
Chevy you can call me anything you like. My name is Sharon. I will be put out for the procedure I am having Monday or at least the actual surgery. I will be awake for the first part where the wire is placed to mark the track. I already have titanium markers in both breasts. This is the 3rd BX.
I hope all you ladies had a good nights rest. I couldn't so I was writing poetry at midnight. Even started a new topic "Poetry for the Soul" on one of the forums and posted it there. Muuuusshhy.🙄
Well I better get up and get started on my busy day. It's the only day of the weekI get to clean house. Yuck!
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Looking for and enjoying beauty is another way to nourish
the soul. The universe is in the habit of making beauty.
There are flowers and songs, snowflakes and smiles, acts
of great courage, laughter between friends, a job well done,
the smell of fresh-baked bread. Beauty is everywhere, ready
to nourish the soul. It must only be seen to begin helping us.
Matthew Fox -
*Good Morning*
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*Puffin and Lew* *Sandra and Mike*
Newbies, welcome to the thread.
I am enjoying the chitchat and photos!!
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Beautiful thought for today. Thanks IllinoisLady.
Teka thanks for making me smile.
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So here's my corny poem about the path ahead for me:
The Decision
By me (Sharon
In the midst of my turmoil, In the blackness of fear
I searched all around me, For a choice that was clear
In panic I stumbled, Then fell to my knees
And there in the stillness, I cried "Help me please"
A peace came upon me, And steadied my soul
For I knew from then onward, Which way I should go
The darkness had vanished, In that moment of time
You see the choice that I made, Never really was mine!
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Aw GEEZ! That wire! That wire that was a block long, and curled around the whole room! You would THINK all this was from the 1800's !!! I remember what they did, but not in the proper sequence... OBviously...
Morning Teka.... cute picture!
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ChiSandy, I've been taking trazodone and bupropion together for years without any problems. So I don't think it's as dire as it sounds. Perhaps there's something else with sleepy side effects.
SeedSally, At least you'll have some answers soon. That will feel better, I think.
Teka, Sure hope that cat was photoshoped. We've had a few that size at the shelter, but it's so unhealthy.
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Sharon, you are a poet! How wonderful!
Teka, I look just like that cat. I'm a stress eater and, goodness knows, have had a lot to stress over these last couple of years. Up until 3 years ago I was a fitness instructor and ballroom dance instructor. After a brain stem stroke, 6 breast cancer surgeries, and now, worst of all, Mike's illness, I've blown up! As the stress fades, so does my weight so I'm looking forward to being smaller soon.
Chevy, I liked your cactus story. Reminds me of this.
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I like that Sandra --- a whole lot. There are so many neat cacti. I planted some but always so wary of the kind that was named ( I'm sure there was a real name ) jumping Cholla. It has so many, many needles. They were long enough as such, but were thin and a bit hard to see. Guess the name came as you didn't seem to have to get nearly as close to them to get some of the thorns/needles into you. I hated that part but still found something ( not the needles or course ) irrestible about them. Then the rather large ( at least if you kept it long enough ) and usually three or so arms on it, one that was called a night bloomer. The flower on it opened at dusk and tended to look closed ( very un-energetic ) during the day.
Lots of different habits -- these gorgeous desert plants
Jackie
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Read up on this --- I had forgotten that it is only open on one night.
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Jumping Cholla:
Sandra, I think the ones in your picture may be Arizona Barrel Cactus, but not sure.
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Sharon, I haven't been too talkative today. I love your poem too. I wrote a lot of poetry when I was much, much younger. My first husband thought it amusing and one day out of total frustration I threw it all out ( what in the world was I thinking ) and later my Mom --- loving most of everything that I ever did, was distraught when she found out it was all gone. She thought I should have tried to have it published.
Dreary here today, but no rain. I think it rained during the night. Sometimes it does that here --- holds off all day long and rains while we sleep. I'm ok with that though not a fan of any gray days.
I will work tonight though I don't have any idea how long. Didn't sleep too well last night --- not sure why, but likely will do well tonight. I sleep soundly almost all the time so a restlessness night is an odd thing.
Hope you all have a great Saturday.
Blessings
Jackie
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How absolutely breathtaking. I think that bloom is as close to what I imagine an angel looks like as it gets. Be-a-u-tiful
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Sharon, I love the poem! How thought-provoking, true and creative!
Love the fat cat, Teka. Ha! Reminds me of myself this winter. Although I have been more active, I have eaten everything in sight. I need to get back into my exercise program when I get home and back on my gluten-free diet. Hopefully I will lose these winter pounds and feel much better when I eat better.
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I seem to be doing ok so far on Letrozole, other than the occasional sweats, slight morning stiffness and increased appetite. Two arthritis-formula time-release acetaminophen help minimize the morning stiffness, and a celecoxib in the morning relieves it. As for the sweats, i like to stand beneath the ceiling fan.
The only pharmacy willing to order a specific brand of generic letrozole--Teva, which I thought had the lowest additive list and mildest SE profile next to Femara--was a little family-owned neighborhood one with a Kosher deli up front. They apologized that all they could get was Roxane (Boehringer Ingleheim’s generic division); but it turned out that the Roxane had the purest formulation of all, even Femara. But now for my third refill they were able to get only Teva rather than Roxane, and I think the sweats are a bit more profuse. But it could just be that most SE’s tend to kick in around the third month or so. I do have 90 days worth of Femara (Novartis UK) purchased online from CanadaDrugs.com (less than 1/4 the US price) and shipped by River East Supply in London, and am awaiting confirmation from Novartis that it’s not counterfeit (had to send them photos of the packaging & pills). That’s why I filled the Rx for and began taking the generic. I hadn’t heard back from Novartis since late January, so when my last generic Rx had run out I took the first two Femara and noticed no difference in SEs between it and Roxane’s generic. Novartis finally e-mailed me back last week to request photos (which I texted) and perhaps a sample for assay (at over six bucks a pill, not gonna happen, though they said they’d replace the pill if it’s real and the whole batch if it’s fake--both replacements being the US version. Just too risky....and too much delay...sending it through the mail or even FedEx). Happy is overweight (15 lbs when he should be 10-12), but the cat in the photo is definitely an “obeast.” A friend of mine has an orange tabby who is nearly that fat. I joked about “feline Prader-Willi syndrome,” but he says his patients tell me their male middle-aged cats seem to have insatiable appetites.
Got a cholla cactus story for you. Back in 1999, we visited a resort outside Phoenix for a cardiology meeting. One afternoon after the breakout sessions were over, we took a Jeep-caravan tour into the Sonoran desert. Our tourguide (an Italian cowboy who was actually an extra in spaghetti Westerns) gave us the warning lecture about how cholla can sense body heat and their prickly balls jump and latch on to flesh--and the more one flails about trying to remove them, the more needles dig into hands, arms, and even face. Gordy was wearing jeans & high-tops, and with typical teenage delusions of invulnerability, stepped backwards without first looking. A cholla ball dug into his calf, right through not just the denim but the top of his sneaker’s leather heel collar. Our tour guide had to use a pair of hemostats (apparently standard equipment when leading non-southwestern tourists through the desert) to yank it out, He then flicked his Bic, burned off all the spines, cut up the inner fruit and passed it around. It tasted delicious. But definitely not worth the risks of picking it.
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Thank all you sweet ladies for taking the time to read my poem. I used to write poetry when I was young. It seemed I could get caught up in the emotions of the words like music or a song. I guess that's really what songs and music are-expressions of feelings. God gave music to the human soul to be used for expression. Whether joy anger or sadness it serves a purpose. I think it moves us in ways nothing else can. Poetry, music, songs or just words to express our feelings I think is very important especially here where we are dealing with so much pain, fear, and worry.
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We had a small, but similar cactus in a small pot. My son offered to pay me if I would kill it. It had the same habit of sticking you when you didn't think you were close. Easier to pull out, however.
We went camping in Big Bend National Park in Texas. It's desert and we had the usual encounter with a cactus - which we lost, of course. DH went to the park store to see if they sold tweezers and came out laughing. They had a whole wall of tweezers!
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Lew died this afternoon. He was worse again this morning, the doctors had a conference with the whole family and explained the poor prognosis and we were all in agreement to stop the respirator, which we did. We were all with him (except his brother Jerry from California), and his sister Diane had a video on her phone of her and Mildred singing Jesus Loves Me that they played by his ear, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. We had hoped he'd be able to donate his corneas but his eyes were so swollen that wasn't possible. We're hoping to have a Mar 25 (Good Friday) memorial service, but need to see if that works for the funeral home. My cousin picked up my dad and brought him here for a visit, at 89 I didn't want him driving here alone.
I'm in such a fog. I held together pretty well most of the time at the hospital where I could be in "nurse mode" as his advocate, but can break into sobs at the least thing here at home. -
Oh, Puffin, I am SO sorry! Now is the time to let others be strong and comfort you. May Lew’s memory be for a blessing.
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Puffin.... I was so afraid this would happen.... but thank God Lew doesn't have to go through any more.... When my Mom was so bad, all of us gathered by her bed-side, and yes, we all sang "You are My Sunshine" to her one more time... She also sang Jesus Loves Me to my Brother and I when we were little!
Just don't do too much right now.... Take care of yourself... I'm sorry... (((( Hugs Puffin))))
Lew is in a beautiful place now.... xoxo
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This is the first song we learned in Sunday School when we were kids... I still remember all of the words...
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Oh Puffin. I am so sorry. I pray for strength for you. We will be here for you.
Sharon
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Puffin,
Sharing in your sadness as you remember Lew!
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As I experience it, appreciation of beauty is access to
the soul. With beauty in our lives, we walk and carry
ourselves more lightly and with a different look in our
eyes. To look into the eyes of someone beholding beauty
is to look through the windows of the soul. Any time we
catch a glimpse of soul, beauty is there; any time we catch
our breath and feel "How beautiful!," the soul is present.
Jean Shinoda Bolen -
Oh Puffin, I saw your name, and glanced over to immediately see your first words. I gasped !!!! Not sure why because his injuries from your description, were in fact devastating. Like I'm sure every single person here ---- I did not want this for you or him. I wanted to pray it all away. Sometimes God has other plans for our life. That doesn't ease the pain and sorrow.
I, like all your sisters here am shattered for you knowing that deep inside there is strength to call forth. I now will pray for your strength to come and hold you up when you need it most. I will pray that in time, the right time your heart will become much lighter and have room for memories that will be able to make you smile through your tears again -- to re-experience all that was good and fine. Peace to you and to all of your and Lew's families.
Jackie
You Raise Me Up
When I am down and, oh, my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.You raise me up to more than I can be.
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Chevy, I'd love to just take it a bit easy, but I'm his personal rep so tomorrow will be meeting with funeral home, contacting places like Social Security to stop payments and supplemental health insurance to stop bills, writing obit this afternoon, finding photo to go in newspaper & on funeral home web page, etc. People are keeping me stocked with food so I don't have to cook. Have many friends taking care of me, and Dad will be here with me at least until Friday.
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Puffin- I am so sorry to hear of Lew's passing. My heart breaks at the thought of having to shut the respirator down. Having gone through losing my husband, I offer a few pieces of advice. First , make sure you take someone with you when you make arrangements. All 5 of my children, plus one SIL came with me. For me, the words the man was saying might have been Chinese or Greek, and I wanted out of there, so I was agreeing with whatever he said. Thank God my children, and especially my SIL, asked questions, or told me that we didn't want this or that. Months later they told me stuff that had gone on that day, and I still have very little memory of it. In fact, I thought I had planned a military funeral, which should not have cost anything, only to find out their idea of a military funeral was to have two soldiers there to present me with a flag, but the funeral cost thousands of dollars.
Second piece of advice- go easy on yourself. Grieving is different for everyone. The five stages of grief are pretty well known. But I didn't know that you go thru each one over and over and you don't go through them in order. You can be accepting one minute and angry ten minutes later. Mostly, I was numb. For a long time. It was to the point where that my kids told me what to do, like get dressed, eat , take a shower, and I did it because I trusted them. Be nice to yourself and don't judge your behavior. Accept help offered. Let others do some of the detail work.
And finally- don't make any major decisions for a while. A few months after Bob passed, I decided that I needed a car in Ga, because I was going to be flying back and forth and needed a car while there. Again my oldest DD, and my oldest DS came with me. Even with their help and advice, I bought a car (that I love) but for the first time in my life, I have car payments. I walked out of there, saying to them, how did I just spend $27,000 on a car? Then I did it all over again and bought a new car for Fl at about the same amount, but paid cash for the second one
I am sharing my story with you, because I know how lost I felt without my other half. He made all the tough decisions liking bartering for a better price on our cars, and stayed calm and sensible during really rough spots. I can get through a crisis, like his individual health issues, or one of my Kids needing stitches with a no problem. I might have a mini- breakdown when the crisis was over, but I got through the crisis. Problem was, this crisis didn't have an end. I still think about sharing news with him and it's been over 3 years. I am just starting to be able to say "my" children instead of "ours" and to speak as an individual "I" instead of "we". Please go easy on yourself and know that we are all here to listen, Andre are all thinking and praying for you aNd your family.
Anne -
(((((((Puffin))))))) Anne has good advice. Let friends and family comfort you. And grieve as long as you need to; there's no timeline. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owx3ao42kwI
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