I Dropped Out of Life...

I completely understand how you feel. I used to be outgoing and always ready to go out and do stuff, but the last year or so I have completely withdrawn from everything and everyone. Get out there and do stuff, the longer you wait the harder it becomes and the easier it is to just be alone. I was initially DX 5 years ago and slowly I have fallen down this path and I regret it, every year withdrawing more and more and getting more depressed. To the point where my marriage and relationship with the rest of my family has suffered.

How about finding some sort of group activities you're really interested in, or doing some volunteer work, instead of dealing with the uncertainty and stress of meeting random guys? That way you'd start out with something in common and see them in person before deciding whether you want to date. Also if it was an activity you were interested in you wouldn't have to gussy up, but just dress for the activity. You'd have a good time to look forward to regardless of whether or not an interesting guy happened to be there that day.

Yes - you are worth the drive. And if you participate in activities that make you happy, you'll be happier. If you meet random guys hoping to find a good one, there's no guarantee you'll be happier and a good chance you'll be more miserable.

Amy ~ do you have a local YMCA where you are? They have a great program where they partner with Livestrong. It is a 12 week course focused on helping you get back to your fit and finer self. There is a group session to start the class that typically runs about 30 minutes where they discuss recovery and survivorship and trying to stay mentally and physical fit. Then there is a 45 to 50 minute work-out that starts slow and then builds as the program progresses...even if you are already a fit person it helps you get on track with fitness goals and the social interaction with fellow cancer survivors is awesome. I did my class about 18 months ago and I continue to stay in contact with the coaches and other participants; they have weekly alumni classes and have events like Christmas parties and outings. It's a great way to get out twice a week, meet other people, hang out at the gym (and possibly meet that handsome, understanding guy). I now volunteer with the classes and hope to become a coach in the near future to help others like me and you get to a new normal. I wish you the very best luck in moving through your survivorship. We all suffer in some way after this journey and it's a hard passage...you will get there and there will be a day when cancer isn't always the first thing on your mind.

Some great ideas on here on meeting people! I have another suggestion. I love Crossfit, its a great workout but it also fosters a community/family feel. I can't tell you how many people I have met in my box and other boxes. I know many people who have met their significant others at competitions or parties. Worth a shot

Amy,

It's been a few months...how are you doing?

Just wanted to pop in to say you are not alone. It's been a few years for me, too, and I feel the same way....like I dropped out of life. I''ve been busy, but not in the right ways. During the past few years I have filled my days with appointments, visits with various therapists, and now just psychotherapy, which has proven to be most useful. I finally accepted the fact that I need help and found someone I really like - she uses talk therapy, imagery, meditation and acupuncture. I tried medications, but wasn't able to tolerate the side effects, however, I will keep trying different meds. You've been given some very wise advice here....mainly, don't sink too far or it'll be a much more difficult climb back up to the top. You're so young. Get out, exercise, try to meet new friends, volunteer. Force yourself. Fake it til you make it. That advice is as good as gold. Take it from someone who's been there....reach out and get help when you need it. And lastly, please don't rely on a man to make you feel complete. You. Are. Enough. Once you are back on track and feeling good, just open your energy up to the universe and if it is meant to happen, it will happen. I firmly believe that. But you have to be out in the world living fully first. That's all I know.

Take care!