Stupid comments ....

Cancer is created by the govt?? Wow,, that is really out there. So all the governments in the world are in cahoots to give us cancer,, since cancer is everywhere,,, and has been for centuries.

I've loved, and cringed, reading all of these comments! I can forgive the people that you can tell just don't know what to say. I've found men say the dumbest things by far. A male friend asked me why I just don't go ahead and have a double mastectomy because then I could get some "really spectacular fake ones". What an idiot.

Free boobs..wow! Since I kept mine with a lumpect, maybe I should now go for the free boob job. I could have 4 of them, 2 saggy real ones and 2 new perky ones. Could they be interchangeable depending on the occasion or should I just keep all 4? Would that make me twice as sexy I wonder??? What stupid stuff folks think is important if they've never fought for their life. Today I am so grateful for having many things in perspective. And for a sense of humor, kooky as it is. Love, Jean

glennie19: I love your dog, too! I have a Pittie too...she's the love of my life!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Safe Travel and a healthy New Year to all!

*jawdrop*

Oh Ruska - that's beyond horrid! I'm so sorry some tw@tbadger thought that would be anything like a joke...for once I'm speechless...wow...just wow...

(and we're all thrilled you're still here with us)

x

That is a horrible thing for someone to do, but finding out how your friends feel about you while you are still around to enjoy it is kind of sweet. They obviously love you very much to be so broken up by the possibility of losing you. Imagine their relief!

I've had fun reading about how tactless--though well-meaning--people can be. And want to share my little story.

I had some family here for Thanksgiving dinner...this was after I had my diagnosis and about two weeks before I was due to have a double mastectomy.

Somehow we got to talking about our various health issues. My brother had a total knee replacement last winter. My other brother fell off his roof and cut his leg. I told everybody about a fall I'd taken coming back from the library. I had about 25 pounds of art books in my tote bag and the toe of my shoe caught a variation in the sidewalk--the block I stepped on was about an inch higher than the one I was leaving--and I went right down. Hit my knee, hand reached out....hurt my wrist...

Just then my brother's girlfriend jumped up from the table and pointed her finger at me:

"That's a sign of CATARACTS! You get so you can't see low-down things! That's a sign of having a cataract!"

We were all stunned. It was so odd.

I was dying to say thanks, I'm still rocked with a breast cancer diagnosis and impending surgery and you have to make me aware that I perhaps have yet another malady....so appreciate that!

It just seemed like too too much to dump on someone...

Last weekend I was visiting my ex in laws, including my sil, her dh and a family friend. I hadn't seen anyone since my bmx 4 weeks prior. There we were, 4 women sitting at a table chatting. It was actually good conversation, until.....the subject of breasts came up. My ex sil was holding hers saying "they just keep getting bigger", my mil sys "mine didn't stop until I was 50". The family friend just sat there, probably as shocked as I was that they were talking like this in front of a woman who just had hers amputated. I know they didn't mean to be ugly, buy really? It was so shocking and validating of their ignorance, I just laughed.

I have found that I have to keep a sense of humor, if I hadn't I would be insane at this point. There was no breast cancer in my family. The only cancers were melanoma in my Mom and younger brother, moles that were removed and an AIDS related sarcoma that he had in the weeks before he died in 1997 at the age of 32. I would hope that I haven't said too many stupid things in my life, but I am sure I have. I think people do not know what too say....with the possible exception of people like BethL's inlaws. My latest is one of my students who said my hair was creepy in a nice way....but she is a 6th grade student with special needs and no filter.

I've done a cancer tree- Known cancers on the paternal side are 25 out of 53 blood relatives. Not only can't I get the relatives to pay attention, I can't get the docs to pay attention. WTF?

RaiderGirl, you hit the nail on the head. I guess the most stupid comment I got was "we can't find it, maybe there is nothing there". This was repeated by two different radiologists after "something" showed up on my initial mammo. I went through 5 hours one day of testing with one doc and 6 hours the next day with another. MRIs, ultrasounds, too many mammos and too many blind biopsies to count. No one could find the area.

Another stupid comment I got "I guess we can do a lumpectomy, but I don't exactly know where to go", as uttered by the surgeon who was going to initially do my procedure.

Ended up having a double mastectomy with another surgeon and tissue analysis after showed invasive cancer.

Last stupid and hurtful comment came when someone said, "it isn't stage 4, so what is the big deal?"

IMO there is no better medicine that time spent with grandchildren. I was awakened early this morning to hear my grandkids coming in the front door. We apparently have a snow day and my daughter needed a babysitter. Oh and since my husband works for the school district he had a snow day too.

I am so lucky my gkids live close. For 2 years they moved 3 hours away for their dads job. Now that they are back I treasure the easy and frequent accessability. I also left it to my daughter to do the "telling". Their parents are the ones who have to answer their million questions, and who know them best so....they get the job of giving bad news.

My daughter had warned my gkids I had just had surgery (don't know what she said in detail but she is usually pretty honest with them). So when I first saw them they were both hesitant about approaching me. I told them both I don't hurt anywhere on my back so a good hug (with my arm protecting my chest) with a back pat would make me feel great. I got the biggest hugs.

Who would have thought we could be thrilled to be "regular" grandma? I used to want to be super grandma or cool grandma. I guess it was just comforting to my gkids that getting "sick" hadn't changed who I was and am.

Gkids are one of Gods greatest creations!

Tjh

So sorry to hear you couldn't see your gkids during that time. It can be really hard on the kids seeing us "not ourselves", but it is hard on us too. Problem is we are the adults and have to do what is best for them. It is hard not to be selfish and grab onto those little rays of sunshine to make us feel better. I thank God my gkids are old enough and mature enough to handle what is going on. But then again I'm lucky enough that I don't need anything but surgery as treatment......and surgery alone was bad enough. I am in awe of all you women who have had to do chemo and/or radiation or have to have multiple surgeries. You are all warrior women in my book. So far for me everything is going according to plan....BMX with TEs then exchange somewhere down the road. I pray I continue without complications.

So everyone who is lucky enough to have gradkids make sure you appreciate every moment with them. They are so precious!