Starting Chemo March 2015

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  • avmom
    avmom Member Posts: 324
    edited December 2015

    Hello to all! I had a look in this afternoon, and I have some serious hair envy. Some of you have soooo much hair! Mine is getting a bit longer - it is not yet an inch long, though, and is straight and very, very soft. I've had the edges trimmed twice, to keep the sides from overlapping my ears. I don't have a pic yet, but I do wear my own hair most of the time. I do wear wigs if it is very cold. A wig is just a hair hat, after all. Also, I wear a wig if I am going to a community function, and don't want the conversation to be about me and my cancer. That doesn't always work, but a look over by someone who doesn't know me doesn't telegraph "cancer girl". I do wear earrings if I'm not wearing a wig, and it does look ok, if not really a lot like my "normal self", whatever that is.

    Katy, I'm so glad your eye surgery turned out well. I hope that as you can see better, you will start to feel a bit better.

    I worked for a few hours today, but my energy level crashed shortly after noon, so I came home. Since then, my big accomplishment has been to wrap four book presents. I still have some "mandatory" baking to get done. So far, I've made some "icebox" cookies - that's how old the recipe is - and some oatmeal cookies that are made into sandwiches with a date filling. Both of those recipes are from my grandmothers. When I asked my family about what baking they thought was absolutely essential, both DH and DS immediately said "shortbread", which in our house means the sandy, crumbly traditional Scottish style. I guess I'll try to make that this evening's project. Only 3 ingredients, but the rolling and cutting take some time. After that, the only thing left before the turkey will be some cinnamon crescent pastries, but I might just do them fresh on Christmas Day. I have the cutest little turkey this year - it shouldn't take more than a couple of hours to roast. I'm only cooking for six, so a big bird seems like too much.

    Gentle hugs to all.

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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited December 2015

    Sitting in the waiting room for my MILs biopsy. Hopefully she will get good news for Christmas!

    Saw my primary care doc this morning and was complaining about my back and neck hurting. I told her that I'm pretty sure it's the tamoxifen but she wanted X-rays just for a baseline and said if my MO doesn't order bone scans when I see him in 2 weeks that she will order them. She said 'I don't want to step on any toes but I want to make sure it gets done'. Feels kinda good having my bases covered but I'm tired of tests. I'm certain it's the Tamox but it seems that now that I've had cancer they order scans for even a hint of a problem.

    Then I had a burst of energy and straightened up my living room. I even vacuumed! More energy than I've had in a long time. But I don't want to over do it so now I'll watch a Sherlock re-run and chill

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  • IndyGal35
    IndyGal35 Member Posts: 340
    edited December 2015

    Let us know when you get an update, Bekah. I have her on my calendar. Hoping for benign results

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2015

    definitely keep us posted, Bekah

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  • avmom
    avmom Member Posts: 324
    edited December 2015

    I've got fingers AND toes crossed for your MIL, Bekah.

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2015

    Mom just called. She's feeling great and went out to dinner last night. So glad to hear that. She's hoping to get the drains out soon. She did hear today that the node they removed was positive. I'm not sure why they did not test that during surgery. That means they need to do more surgery next month. This is concerning since she has severe lymphedema on the other side. If they do a full ALND, she may not be able to have any blood draws or IVs on either arm. I told her to ask about options, including a PET, MRI, and/or radiation in place of ALND. We'll see. Cancer needs to leave my family alone for a while!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That being said, on an unrelated note, I took the engine this weekend to the house of a little girl in town who is fighting leukemia and loves fire trucks. She could not get see Santa because her counts were low. We brought Santa to her and brought her some fire-themed gifts we'd bought. I also gave her a flames skull cap and included a picture of the 20 firefighters (and me) who shaved their heads with me; we all wore one for the picture. I can tell you it was one of the most moving things in my life and I would rather go through chemo every day for 20 years than have to watch a child go through it. She has 2 years of chemo.

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    Karen- that is wonderful what you did for that little girl. Brought tears to my eyes.

    And glad your mom is feeling well. Sorry about the node and all that entails now. Yes cancer definitely needs to lay off your family!

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  • shaz101
    shaz101 Member Posts: 718
    edited December 2015

    hi. I'm flat out. Well actually I'm really slow and I just can't keep up. I go on leave for 3 weeks as of the end of today.

    I've bought a charm for the bracelet 'the three wise monkeys' to signify the bond between us and the wealth of knowledge and empathy without any judgement between us .

    Thinking of you all.

    note to self- I'm on page 337


    image

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  • slothabouttown
    slothabouttown Member Posts: 449
    edited December 2015

    I have a flat chest. I wear it to work every day and all weekend. Sometimes I catch a side view of myself (ive never been one to spend time in front of a mirror) and I see my gut which used to be offset by my chest and that makes me a little unhappy. Generally though I am completely comfortable as is. I have various boobs hanging out in my sock drawer. I wore them once to a conference and once to a wedding.

    I don't feel completely comfortable physically yet though, I lost some of my ROM after radiation and I need to get serious about some scar massage to loosen things up some.

    In terms of my self esteem I would tell you I'm fine except that yesterday a friend sent me a message asking if I'd be interested in going out on a date with a friend of hers and suddenly I was awash in body image panic. So there's that to figure out.

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    I do feel grateful that I am married. I know she liked my breasts, but that really doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Plus, if she knew I was writing this, she'd say that she's bi so she likes a flat chest, too.

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  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 632
    edited December 2015

    Bekah - Crossing fingers for you MIL's biopsy.

    Karen - Does it look like your mom will need chemo???

    So here's an issue I've been thinking about and hoping someone here can help me with the answer (Special?). So we know (I think) that cancer cells exist in all of us but, for some reason, in our bodies they got together and started splitting to form our tumors. So after treatment is all over and done, and assuming no recurrence, why don't our bodies (normally) start going through the same process to form new cancers? Is it that this development was an anomoly and we really aren't any more prone to additional cancer cell divisions than the average person?

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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited December 2015

    Wow. Body image...the ultimate underlying issue! I've had body image issues since I was 18 years old and obese. When I was in my early 30's I had gastric bypass surgery and lost almost 100 lbs. I had little fried eggs for breasts after the weight loss so I got implants. I looked and felt sexy for 8 years and I was finally getting used to it.

    Then came BC. I was fortunate enough to have a skin-sparing BMX. My inframammary scars are healing and barely noticeable and aside from some rippling, I don't feel disfigured at all. I am SO lucky and I know that! Of all my issues with SEs and worry about every ache and pain...I am very at peace with my body image right now. Sometimes I actually feel guilty that I have normal looking breasts. Maybe I paid my dues with body image during my early adulthood?

    Bekah

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  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 632
    edited December 2015

    Bekah, did you have any negative SEs from the gastric bypass? I've considered something like that form time to time since I'm so overweight. I tried weight watchers and lost a lot of weight but, of course, gained it back. Now, it's more important than ever to be as close to my ideal weight as possible. But I've heard such bad things about GB, i.e. digestive issues, and only being able to eat a tablespoon of food at a time. I guess that's how you lose so much weight, but I really would miss my nice meals (why I'm overweight).

    Thanks for your feedback.

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  • rleepac
    rleepac Member Posts: 755
    edited December 2015

    I can't tolerate much sugar or a lot of carbs but that is the extent of my SEs. These are both good and necessary in my case so I don't have any regrets. I'm able to eat about a cup of food at one sitting. Doesn't sound like much but to put it in perspective..I usually eat about 1/3-1/2 of my meal when we go out to eat. I can't eat more than a few bites of bread - that's one food that just really makes me sick if I push it. I have to take vitamins every day for the rest of my life but that's a trade I was more than willing to do.

    No regrets here!!!!!

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  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 632
    edited December 2015

    Thanks, Bekah. I'm glad u r back. I missed you when you were on sabbatical!!!

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    ksusan- on the subject of our chests-- I loath mine with every fiber of my being because it represents sickness and death. I don't really think k it's all that aesthetically jarring, however. I have never worn prosthesis or tried to disguise it. I just got some fakes today, just because insurance is due to roll over. Feel pretty conflicted about that. May never use them. I am now considering recon because honestly, I think it would help me get laid lol. Guess we all make compromises. Right now I definitely couldn't deal with recon. Even seeing my chest with fakes gave me a feeling of terror and revulsion, whereas the sighte of my scars only bring up mild disgust and annoyance.

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  • BBwithBC45
    BBwithBC45 Member Posts: 727
    edited December 2015

    Sharon, the monkeys cartoon made me laugh out loud. Thank you!

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  • avmom
    avmom Member Posts: 324
    edited December 2015

    Good morning! It's very frosty here - -20.5C (about -5F) this morning when I started my car. We don't have much snow, so I hope we get a little over the next couple of days. New snowfall makes everything look so clean and fresh.

    I fell asleep yesterday evening, so got none of the rest of my baking done. I'll be at work this morning, so will have to try again today. Oh, and must remember to take the turkey out of the freezer. It's small, so it will defrost in time.

    My chest is not a very pretty picture, either. My surgeon did very "complete" mastectomies, so I am quite concave. Flat would be a significant upgrade. The scar from January doesn't look too bad, and the October scar is healing.

    Great monkeys, Sharon.

    Hugs to all.

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    I'm more concave on one side than the other. It bugs me aesthetically, but it feels okay.

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    Wow, Karen. Very moving. I agree. No kid should have cancer. It puts things into perspective. As far as the positive node and risks of lymphedema, my doctor said don't the ALND. Go for the radiation instead. That's what I did. I guess maybe someday I will know if it was the right choice.

    I can't think about the possible cancer lurking. Just can't. I need to get on with life.

    I am also baking today. It gives me a sense of normalcy. I have a gingerbread cookie recipe I have been making for about 15 years now. It is the only gingerbread cookie I have ever tasted that was actually good to eat.

    I also made a chocolate cake with peppermint frosting from that blog I was telling you all about. The frosting was pretty darn good. Can't wait to eat the cake. :)


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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    We need recipes, folks!

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  • littleblueflowers
    littleblueflowers Member Posts: 2,000
    edited December 2015

    ksusan, looooove your tree...and your attitude lol.

    Yes! Recepies! Please!

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  • SueH58
    SueH58 Member Posts: 632
    edited December 2015

    I have a couple of really easy appetizer recipes:

    1) Spread cream cheese on plate. Top with pesto. Add sundried tomatoes to top.

    2) If you have a store selling jalapeno pepper jelly, you can beat it with cream cheese for a yummy dip with tortillas.

    3) I'm sure you all have the hot artichoke recipe and the meatballs with jelly & chili sauce. If not, let me know.

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    I will look up the gingerbread recipe.

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  • Jackbirdie
    Jackbirdie Member Posts: 4,693
    edited December 2015

    Allison- the cake sounds WOW!! I'm glad you are baking, and as SpecialK says, "feeling the dishwater".

    Wishing all my March sisters love of family, and maybe more importantly, love of self this holiday. Acceptance and peace as well. Hold your loved ones close and hang on.

    🌲🎄🎄🎄🌲🌿🍃🎄🎄🌲

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    Here is the gingerbread cookie recipe. I used to decorate them with different colors and dye the frosting but I found out what looks the best is white frosting and red and green sprinkles. Obviously if you don't celebrate Christmas you might want to do something different.

    image

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  • KBeee
    KBeee Member Posts: 5,109
    edited December 2015

    Gingerbread was the one constant that tasted good through chemo both times! I will post a link later to a cookie recipe I love. I'll do it when I get to my computer

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    Here's what they look like:

    image

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  • Trvler
    Trvler Member Posts: 3,159
    edited December 2015

    And here is the peppermint cake:

    image

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  • ksusan
    ksusan Member Posts: 4,505
    edited December 2015

    Oooeee! Christmas 16 at Allison's!

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