5 year milestone for me

Well I made it to my five year milestone with my Her2+ cancer. I had planned on celebrating on my favorite beach in Cape Cod but as the day got closer I felt less and less like making any fuss at all. I ended up throwing together a dinner at the cottage we were staying in and, as my family was up there vacationing as well, they all came. We then drove to the beach but the sky was gray and there was no sunset. I bought lanterns but didn't send them off. I didn't want to cause a fire. I do feel very lucky to still be here, but there have been no grand revelations or life changing/soul wrenching events/changes in the past five years. The dirty dishes became dirty dishes again, the laundry started to smell like it always has, and I stopped noticing just how many cemeteries there actually were/are everywhere. The anniversary day of my diagnosis I was in the ocean looking like a bad ass with my weight and compressed arm. A wave crashed into my head and my sister snapped a picture. There I stood, with a giant wave hitting me in the back of the head and it didn't phase me or move me or scare me at all. My eyes were wide open. Maybe I'll post the photo when she sends it to me or maybe I'll just let you come to your own visualization of what this day may look like for you five years from now. To the newly diagnosed, it's not your fault. I have been on here for five years and what I have seen is you may be fine and you may not be fine, no-one can answer that question for you so try (notice how I don't say don't bother, because this is impossible and unrealistic to think that this will be easy) to put it out of your head and be in each day as it comes. I wish everyone who may read this a good day today!