INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours
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wlcome newlydx.
Ahh it is 5 am and I am wide awake even after all of yesterday's activities. I am surely doing so much better physically and mentaly. Funny how those two things go together. Today is another busy day. We are celebrating father's day today since my sons were in TX with meme on that day. Just popping in today hi and check on y'all
Hugs all around
Hootie hoo
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Okay HEY girls! So what is this, "might be your last?" miss Rosie? Okay, it might be yours, and it COULD be mine.... Ha! But we don't worry about it, or even think about it.... Remember what they say? Today is the first day of your life... Or something like that.
Oh just WAIT until you get older! We think about this a LOT lately.... Like I'm wondering how we will EVER eat all these little single-serving Mac & Cheese I thought we needed! Or how long does this stuff KEEP, anyway? And I must get rid of some of these "things" I have been saving for forever!
And so I was thinking........ How do you let someone in your family or group know, that it's okay if you think they are gay? I just have this thought in the back of my head that this is a possibility, and like I couldn't care less...... DH on the other hand would just have bats flying all over his brain thinking about it...... Whether they are, or not, I just want them to know I'm always here.... I'll always love them no matter what....
You don't just come out and ask them "Are you gay?" And you don't go asking them "are you marching today?"
My SIL's twin Brother is gay.... And to this day, SIL has never mentioned it... We know he lives with his partner... but it is never brought up..... She doesn't even hardly ever see him.... and that's sad. Of course they hardly ever socialize with ANY family.
So any tips would be greatly appreciated here.... honest.
Morning Peppermint and Newly! Oh she's NEW!!! We can corrupt her in a heart-beat! Stick around kid.... we'll take care of you....
So I should have gotten a LONGER warranty? But at our age, maybe it doesn't matter, right? Ha!
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newlydx15 Welcome
Chevy's already changed your name 'newly'. It's tradition around here. Positive is good. but we talk of everything that's important to each here. Trouble as well as happy stuff We are here 24/7/365.Tell us a little about yourself. We love to have new people Newly Rosie, great description of the folks on the roof. Soory about the fires. Nothing like the weather to make us feel no control. Hurricanes and fires our are nemesis. Fires not so much recently. Have a great day today with family and DD new beau(? that's today right).
Marley, Ears are numb eh? I hated ER when celebration stuff was on the days agenda. After time, I learned that Christmas day was quiet, Sunday mornings till after church was over. Basically noon. Football season quiet till the games were over. Superbowl--nothing till the game was over. Then all hell would break loose. How you feeling?
MammaRay how you doing? Shoulder okay?
Patty have a nice Father's day. Did meme come back with the boys?
Chevy, Put your arms around them and hug.
Schatzi and Dini have been a mess b/c of fireworks. I forgot to get valium for them. They keep changing their hiding spots. its been going on for days, and now days more
DBF and I watched Westside Story. He'd never seen it before. He's not a musical sort of guy. He watched the whole thing ) Remember when it was on the big screen. Lined up down the street and around the block.
Computer's fixed. Answers By Me--my tech buddy. Worth every penny. It's so clean
Waving to everyone I missed. Have a great day.
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Off to the farmers market and brunch, but going to answer Chevy's question before I go about letting folks know it is safe to come out with you.
I have a sister who is lesbian. She came out in the 1960s in college to my parents (who did not handle it well), and told me when I was in my teens in the 1970s. Back when being gay was a huge stigma. So I grew up with having a gay family member. As a result of that, I have always been very open to the gay and lesbian world even being a straight chic. But having watched what my sister and her partner have gone through, it is not an easy road to be open with others. I consider myself an equal opportunity friend.
I have had a couple friends who have come out through the years. A childhood friend who I knew was gay took awhile to tell me. He knew my sister was gay, so I just made it clear I was very cool with the whole thing. After years, he told me when he was ready.
Another friend from college came out in the 1990's. She also knew my sister is gay, and told me one day "I am going to start dating women" and then waited for my reaction. I said "fine by me, we all deserve to be loved and happy." I stood up for them in their wedding. We are still friends today (the other friend above died in the 1990s, which broke my heart).
If you want to let someone know you are open to them sharing that sort of info with you, you just need to create an environment where it is safe to come out. With the recent gay marriage legalization in the supreme court, you can use that to say "I think it is so great everyone can get married now, long overdue, etc." People who are not ready to come out won't want you asking them about it. You just let them know you will continue to be there when they do. You find ways to talk about it around it being about them.
Does that help Chevy?
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Newly - did i read in s different post that you just had a baby? Tell us about you. Whatever you want to share
Sas - poor puppies. We have 2 and only 1 gets freaked out. Last night i put her in the bedroom and turned the radio up high. Helped some. Never thought of doggie Valium. No meme did not come back with the boys. Meme and dh just meet halfway ,about 4 hours each, have a long lunch to visit and trade out the boys
Chevy - no idea about how to bring up the subject of gay approval. Surely someone will come along with better advice.
Can't remember if I already said so, but my sister from Alabama is coming tomorrow . she is bringing my almost 4 year old great niece, my 22 year old nephew and her exhubby ( my nephews dad ). I am amazed that they have remained great friends. I am SO excited. I am def closer to her than anyone else in my family. When I was growing up after my parents divorced we moved away from my dad. My mom worked two jobs , and partied way to hard to take good care of us. My sister is 6 years older then me. She took complete care of me from 3rd grade to 6th grade. My mom provided the money but sister did all the cooking , cleaning, laundry, homework help, comforting and scolding , etc . I went everwhere she went including dates . She still tries to take care of everyone. Just how she had to be and now still is. I also had a brother who was 5years older then me. He was no help. Only concerned about his self. Still is to this day. We only live 3hours apart. We used to go to the town he lives in every weekend and never stopped to see him. We talk on the phone maybe 1 or 2 times s year and only for about 2 minutes. Just nothing to say to each other. Earlier this year when I was in the hospital so long he and is wife came to see me. Drove 3 hours each way and stayed to visit less then 10 minutes. Seriously. I think he really just came to see if he was getting anything in my will. Ugh def not !!!!!! He and his wife are functioning alcoholics. Just nothing in common. I used to be sad about it and try hard but I gave up long ago. Guess we all have some family members like that.
Hugs all around my wonderful friends.
Hootie hoo
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jazzy. - hello. Guess we posted at the same time. Whatcha getting at the farmers market ? Love some fresh veggies and fruit. I bet they sell a lot of hot peppers, right ?
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Yes Jazzy! Thank you.... That's a good way to approach this.... even with his family members.... I really don't care who loves who, or what they are doing, as long as it isn't drugs....
It's just that he doesn't or hasn't been interested in girls too much.... if at all.... And as someone so close in his life, I'd probably be the last to know.... But talking about all the legalization of gay marrieages is a good start!
I think his Parents, would give a huge sigh of relief if I "knew".... If I am wrong, I should just not say anything.... right?
Guess I COULD bring up my SIL, with her gay twin.... saying I'm so sorry for him, because his family doesn't include him in any conversations or get-togethers.... ?
Have fun Peppermint!
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Chevy, I've had a lot of gay friends and coworkers. Just referring to someone and his/her partner sends a message. And I agree that mentioning the supreme court ruling with approval is a good way to indicate support. The family suspects that the oldest grandson is gay, but his father is totally anti-gay (from another culture) so he won't be coming out to him if he is. His Mom has brought up her feelings would not change if her son(s) were gay. That's all we can do at this point. I wish we could change his father's attitude. The GS really respects him and wants his approval. I worked for someone who was gay and open to me. She described having to decide about every new person if she should come out or never mention it. It's a tough life.
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You know, we ARE from a different culture.... or time.... It was just something we didn't talk about in the 50's.... And as we get older, SOME people just cannot accept "different" ideas from theirs....
I'm not sure if he IS, because the subject has never been brought up.... My whole thing is, I would still love him to pieces.... no matter what.... And I would get out the iron-skillet for someone who didn't.
Maybe that's what secrets are for.... for what they are meant to be.... so not to hurt and to protect some people. And to hell with everyone else.... and that is the reason for "secrets".......
DH always makes stupid comments to me about our neighbor.... He was a Navy Seal... retired, and has HAD relationships, but having a room-mate move in with him in that huge house, just put his little brain on over-drive, and he assumed that being gay was the reason. So I naturally have to yell my indignation everytime the subject comes up.
Maybe it's not even any of my business..... but when you love someone, it's like the Elephant in the room... sometimes.
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Patty- well, there was not that much going on at the farmers market today. I got some peaches, apricots, tomatoes and WILD spinach! The fellow that I got the peaches from had me try one. OH YUM! I think a lot of the growers took the weekend off.
Unfortunately, after coming home today, I noticed the front headlight was broken on my convertible and appears that someone bashed it in. No other damage to the front of the car, so I know I did not hit something, but am PISSED!!! It may not have happened today, I had the car at the gym the other night and there are all kinds of problems with car thefts, and other car issues in town. My guess is I will need a whole headlight assembly. I am going to contact a few places to see if I can get a used one vs. buying a new one through the dealer. I have a pretty high deductible so I doubt I can use my insurance, but may call them tomorrow to discuss.
Weekend was fun until that happened!
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I agree with Wren and Jazzy. My DD2 has a very good friend who is gay. He knew he was gay from the get go, but his Mom would not accept it. If this kid painted his nails his Mom would get upset if we said hey "the color looks good on you!" "Why do you encourage him?" she asked me. I remember one particularly funny story about my DD2, her girlfiend and this young man standing on a street corner and some particularly "hot" boy walked by. All three of them followed him as he walked past. The girls murmered "hope he isn't gay" and and the boy sputtered "oh please be gay!" It was hilarious. Eventually everyone around this young man accepted him and thought he was cute, funny, smart and fun to be around. Flash forward and now his Mom talks about him and his dating and and concerns with love and acceptance. In this case the Dad was ok and Mom finally came around. I think the best one can do is provide a tolerant loving accepting environment. People do not choose their orientation they are given it by biology. I never thought about being straight it was just like breathing - hardwired.
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or maybe the guys are straight, and have decided that for health, financial or security reasons this is a good thing for them to do
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You know, that could be true! Maybe dating the opposite is just too much of a pain! As long as you are happy.... that's all that matters.....xoxo
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Relationships are hard, regardless of the coupling. I don't see things being any better or worse for same sex couples.
Got some things taken care of on the broken headlight incident. May be covered under full glass coverage and with $0 deductible. Fingers crossed, we will know more this week.
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jazzy. - hope you don't have to pay to get it fixed. Probably some young punk.
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Patty- hit and runs are no good, but the damage is minor (I hope). After having been in a couple serious accidents in my younger years, I say cars can be fixed, people not so much. Everything is relative after awhile, right?
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Chevy -- I was a tomboy growing up and while I'm straight, many of my friends are lesbians. I also work in a field where there are a lot of female officers who are gay. For the lesbians, it's much easier to be in law enforcement. I have one male co-worker that is definitely gay but he keeps that side of his life separate from his work life. There is still a lot of negative stigma to being a gay male in law enforcement. I think another way to let the family member know that it's okay is maybe invite the brother and his partner to a family function.
Sas -- same here for the holidays. It's always about 4 PM that the fun starts since everyone has spent the afternoon hours getting brewed up. My dogs got left in the house last night with every tv on and fans running. Plus, I sedated them with a little benadryl (safe for dogs at the rate of 1 mg per pound). They didn't eat any furniture so I'm assuming that the didn't get too upset by the fireworks.
Patty -- have fun with the family.
Roses -- lovely description for those of us trapped inside on the 4th a lot. A very good reminder on what makes America great.
Newlydx15 -- welcome aboard.
Jazzy -- I'm lazy. We have a local grower that does a fresh box of organic produce every two weeks for $25. All I have to do is pick it up at Whole Foods. Of course, the problem is that what we get is whatever the company is growing but they're usually pretty diverse. I did get a little sick of golden beets last fall...
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Sas - I forgot to answer your question about how I'm doing. I'm 16 days post TC#2 and starting to feel somewhat normal, other than a little tired since I overdid it with the cooking yesterday then working until 4 am when I had to be back at 2 today. It's definitely a caffeine and B12 day. I've actually started growing a little fuzz on my head--I'm normally a dark blonde but the fuzz is white blonde like when I was little. My eyebrows have thinned out but are still there for the most part and I'm missing a 1/4" of eyelashes on one eye. Other than the hot flashes, that's about all I've got going on until Friday when I have round 3.
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Marlanab- When you do the farmers market, you have to be up for preparing the foods whether you are making salads, cooking something, or juicing items. Probably would not be best for you to deal with any of that right now. I liked to get a lot of pre-made things when I was going through treatment. Just easier. I am a big fan of carrot juice at the moment!
Glad to hear you are doing okay. I hope you can get rested before you go into Round 3 later this week.
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Marlana- sounds like even though chemo has been hard and we all know how hard, you are handling things well. I know what it's like to miss holidays. I never saw a Thanksgiving when my kids were little - bargain time for Xmas Eve off. All the single folks wanted Thanksgiving and New Years, all the Moms wanted Xmas and Xmas eve. We just always had Thanksgiving on Friday! Of course sometimes I just worked what ever.. give the time and 1/2 to those who wanted it. You are strong to work during chemo. Good luck with round 3.
Today was a very good day! The Portland kids came down and we visited and ate and I loaded them up with things. I miss them. It was very fun to visit and spend time. We watched some of the women's world cup soccer (diehard soccer fans here). Al my kids together, healthy and happy.. YAY. Now if the temps would go back to the 70-80s where they belong and enough with this 98-100. Things would be perfect.
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rose. - I'll agree with you family together happy and healthy is a wonderful bkessingb
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Rose- it was HOT down here today too. Glad you had a good day. Thought you would appreciate this one.
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boy you guys are a chatty bunch. Speed reading again...so I got all the info in my little pea brain...but don't can't remember what applies to who. I need to stop speed reading...it's not working
Rosie....hope you are feeling better today. Sorry to,hear about the news.
I am guessing that chevy's Rosie and our Rosie are two different people. Is that right?
Patty p, hope you are feeling better too
Blondiex, what is your countdown
Hey, Ray Ray
Hi as and Chevy, and jazz, and loveroflife, and marine, and smarrty, and wren, and holeinone, and enerva, and frenchfry, and luvmygoats, ....I know I've missed some, sorry...but I did that all from memory...I am patting myself on the back right now!!
Night night
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Susan- good to hear from you and hope that you had a nice holiday weekend!
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have I missed posting from 2ndtimearound? How is she doing??
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Hi Susan,
2nd time Maddie quit posting. Hopefully she will pop in & say hello
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U guys have been busy
3 days n counting
Chevy u got good advice
Welcome newby
Really nauseous will bb
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susan. - I think 2nd = Maddie still lurks. I talk to her regularly and she like o many of us has her hands full. I bet she will love that we missed her ( don't we all went to feel an important part of our community). I also think (not sure) she would probably like some PM's from some of us letting her know she was mussed and valued.
2nd - hope I am not stepping on your toes 😀
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsKnPDeU9vI
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