Starting Chemo March 2015

Avmom, you are in my thoughts and I am sending healing waves your way. I am so sorry you are down. If I were there, I would drag you out and we would go do something outrageously funny. Hang in there, sweetie!

Wpmoon, I went and had breakfast with my daughter and grandbabies and probably over did it, birthday breakfast and all. We shared a strawberry shortcake pancake which created a few throw up burps. Ew I know too much information. But that wasn't pleasant - think I'm over it now. But no actual throw up thank goodness.

Katy, sorry you aren't feeling well. I hope things turn around and you feel better.

Man, this process changes everyday, crazy. Big hugs to everybody today!

Really tired today after spa day yesterday. But what's worse is that my sisters FIL (who we are all really close to) went in the Hosptial last weekend with ITP (super low platelets). Long at tort short...he fell last night and hit his head resulting in massive brain bleed. They are taking him off life support and in beyond sad.

Life is so precious....

oh, Bekah! Thinking of you. Of all times....life is indeed so very precious. Hang in there. Hugs

Bekah, I am so, soooo incredibly sorry!

Bekah-I am so sorry to her about your FIL, that is beyond sad. I don't really pray much but I will for your family tonight.

Thank you!! I will take a look tomorrow.

I'm so sorry for your loss Bekah. My prayers are with your family.

(((((((hugs)))))))) Bekah

Bekah and Lynn, I am so sorry to hear about the losses to you and your families. I get it, just when you think life has served you up the devasting news that you have breast cancer and throws all this uncertainty at you, and you wonder how much worse life can get, you then have to deal with a bereavement in your immediate families. I am having a real hard time dealing with the same thing.

I was so looking forward to returning to nursing on Jan. 6th after being a stay at home mom for the last 12 years, but on Jan 5th I got my bc diagnosis.I thought wow life just sucks but on Feb 11th my 35yr old baby brother who just got married last August collapsed from a ruptured aneurysm and despite making it to the hospital on time, being resuscitated, and surviving an 8 hr surgery he died on Feb. 15th from a massive stroke. The following week my FIL was diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer. The doctors said that he had maybe 6 months, but he died exactly a month after my brother on March 15th.

I have a new sister in law who is a widow after 6 months of marriage, a father who is beyond grief and feels he has lost everything, 2 sisters and 3 brothers all coming to terms with the loss of the youngest member of our family, a MIL who has lost her partner, husband and best friend of 56 years, my DH and kids coping with losing their wonderful dad/grandad. Life does suck at times. I get some consolation in that my brother was an organ donor and four people have a better quality of life and have a life because of him. Sometimes it helps me too when I feel real negative and down with the SE of this chemo that I know it could always be worse. I am alive. Sorry for offloading, I have been trying to stay positive through this whole journey but ever now and then it just hits me. You are in my thoughts and prayers ,

hugs xo

Jem: I am beyond coherent words. Tonight has been a very sad night. I wish for your family to find solace in each other and that you be delivered a grace that will help you move on somehow. A seemingly impossible task.

I have had nowhere the devastation you've had, made so much worse by first your own personal dreams being (temporarily) crushed, then watching people you love so much being ground down in quick succession. Those who died, and seemingly worse yet, the ones who were left behind, often out of order.

I lost both my parents in the last ten years or so, but worst of all was watching my father lose his eldest son to metastatic cancer that took him ten weeks from dx to death. We both were together with him nearly every day. My father, who was deteriorating with Alz everyday, kept looking up at me with haunted eyes and asked me over and over why God would take Peter instead of him. Peter turned 50 at the hospice. Dad never got his answer, or if he did, he quickly forgot it, and painfully asked it again. He never recovered the loss and died a year later. I never made sense of any of it. As Bekah says, life is so precious.

All we can do is try to be one of the few people in our Western culture who can try to make peace with death. It has been happening to everyone since the beginning of time and yet we are always so surprised, so unprepared.

I am saying these words as much a catharthis for myself as for all if you who have shared your stories of staggering grief tonight. As I try to come to terms with my own dx and the possibilities of recurrence, metastasis, and my death, it still doesn't make sense. All I can give you is my deepest sympathy, and the hope that you, your families, your faiths and hearts can find your way through the loss and pain.

Much love and gentle, healing hugs,

Katy

((((((Lynn, Jem, Bekah, Sharon)))))). I've got nothing but hugs to send out through the ether. It's the middle of the night here, but my heart goes out to you all. Although the hardest truth is that "the only way forward is through" the challenges that we must face, it is small comfort as we must drag our weakened selves, one aching inch at a time, along this difficult path. No matter, we will make it, somehow.

Sharon, I thought of you during my last spa day because I was sitting with one of my son's extra curricular activity leaders who had retired 2 years ago, super nice woman who's in treatment too. Getting her last infusion, actually, good for her! Anyway, her treatment always provoked migraines that started AS the treatment began pumping into her so even though this was her last, she definitely wasn't looking forward to it. Made me think of you and all you've endured. She's at the end of her treatment plan, though, and you'll make it through yours too! I'm so sorry you (and others) have to go through evil side effects. Sending warm, positive, fuzzy vibes & energy your way, for sure.

My prayers and thoughts are with all of you who have lost loved ones. There are no words but please know you are in my prayers. HUGS

Sharon, I'm so sorry you're in the hospital. I thought of you as I had my final round of AC with a horrible headache. It was awful and I'm so sorry you have to suffer those migraines. I pray the doctor has come back and figured out your meds. Hugs to you too!