INSOMNIACS place to talk in the wee hours

Keep an eye on your glass at all times, Susan. Sas is on a roll.

in memory of FBB...I started painting it after I heard FBB died. I felt sad and everywhere I looked I noticed the color blue. So my new yard art that will hold a small amount of birdseed will always remind me of her. 

pawprint,,can I buy one from you .

beautiful Paw and I wish I could sleep also, 2 of my grandchildren are here 2 and 8 year old, daughter working tomorrow and Michael wants to go to Pizza hut tomorrow for lunch, who knows...walmart for food...I am doing ok cept for the sleeping thing went to bed last night at 430 and slept off and on until 215.....just took clonadine...it should work in a while.....

hey there Smaarty! Don't have that problem, having probs with Search though.

I am so far behind, hoping the rest of the country is sleeping so I can get caught up.

nope, never in the sternum. Boobs still ache off and on, but it's only been 6 mos with the implants.

Smarrty, yes, I also have to log in every time....

Sas, thanks for reading & picking up on my comments about the card, it's strange cause even though its in my junk drawer, I have no memory of buying it, or getting it. The message sounds like the hokey pokey, that's what's it's all about, but it is very true, about being happy in your own skin. 

It will be in my thoughts, & on my refrigerator for a long time. I really think of her as a gift, to appreciate time, nature, each other. 

hi all! Reading back a couple pages so I'll try to catch up. 

Before I go too far, want to apologize about going on and on about mom and dad. The whole situation seems to be consuming me lately and I have no one else to discuss it with. I do have a friend who also has cancer (not BC, but thyroid, skin and something else), alcoholism in a family member and dementia/Alzheimer's (her DH) in her life too, but she's in denial about the Alz and she doesn't like to discuss it. So sorry to burden you all, especially those of you who are going thru a more difficult life than I am. I don't want to continue adding stress to stress. 

Nettie, so sorry I missed your birthday. Happy belated wishes! Have to keep reading to find out more. 

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Ooooo, Nettie, your family treated you like a queen! Lucky you! Those earrings are stunning!

Tang, about the oily face situation: my face was always oily and prone to breakouts. Chemo was the first time since I was a teen that it cleared up. So much so, some lady commented how pretty my skin looked then (I didn't wear makeup). Went thru menopause, adult acne came back. Starting tamoxifen also brought it back. Sassy will probably say it has to do with hormones, or lack of. Mention it at your next appt. not life-shattering but annoying and adds to the stress level. Hang in there. So sorry about your step-mother's mother going into hospice, getting to that point is very difficult. I'm afraid as fast as the disease is progressing, we'll have to start thinking about that soon. Big dilemma with the work function, need to keep reading to see how it turns out......

Chevy, love the post about creating a password. So true. 

LMG, didn't remember about Chatsworth, my DH was raised near there (I was an OC girl, back before it was known as the OC). Lucky we didn't have mudslides, but they weren't too far away. About fireworks: very illegal in most areas, especially where I am. There have been a couple major fires in the areas, so fireworks are no-no's. However, can't stop people from going to cities that sell them for the 4th, then they save them for the rest of the year. Also, Mexico, (Tijuana) is only a couple hours a way so they get them there. We have so much dry brush in our area, they're really stupid to light them off. 

PattyP, hope you're feeling better and well enough for school clothes shopping. I always used to enjoy that and buying school supplies. Miss that. 

Chevy, from what I've learned, long term care is for nursing home not assisted living and assisted living is very expensive. Doesn't seem fair: can't care for them but can't afford the care, so what to do?

3rd, good for you getting so far on the rads, looks like not much longer? Hoping that goes quickly with few SE's. 

Hi1, so glad you got some time for you, I'm sure it helped to charge your batteries especially since you've been under so much stress. DH is lucky to have you!

Cami, envy you on the weather issue. It's so stinking hot here, been more humid than usual. Now I feel for the rest of the country. 

Not sure who was having problems with LE. Before I could get insurance to pay for compression sleeves, I would wrap my affected arm loosely with ace bandages, again, not tight. Worked pretty well and not too expensive. Careful with it though. The term I have learned to use is DME (durable medical equipment), for some reason that opens more doors. 

Enerva, you always post the prettiest pictures! Thank you for sharing and putting a smile on my face! 

Sassy, thanks for all the wise words! I understand the progression of Alz. DM's mother went thru this back in the 70's before Alz care. She got to the point you mentioned, infant level, restrained in bed. Difficult to see. We have been told mom's case is "bad" meaning very rapid regression. Saw Mom today, bruise it turning the lovely shade of yellow. Was told she hasn't been eating and I spent an hour and a half putting a small bite on her fork, handing her the fork, saying nothing or very little, she was taking small bites (put my behavior mod skills at work). Also helped that I asked for a second plate, took half the food off the plate so it wasn't overwhelming.  In all that time she needed a diaper change but because she said no, they didn't take her. That didn't make me happy, I'll deal with that issue tomorrow. Will discuss skin protection creams, thanks for the advice. Had a long (and nice) talk to head nurse: she wasn't there when the "incident" occurred and records weren't adequate. Apparently mom threw herself on the floor, kicking, screaming and cursing and seems she hit her head on the floor. She's on Coumadin, need I say more? Informed that it wasn't acceptable we weren't notified as it totally freaked out Dad. 

LMG, you're right, those records are non-existant, they didn't even ask about how much fluid consumed (she liked the juice today, wouldn't drink water, so had the cup filled with juice). Most people there aren't as bad off as mom. Will also find out about podiatry care (they have, it's an extra charge). Spoke with Dad weeks ago about this (moms toe nails are horrendous, I'll spare details), he was there the day Mom moved it, wanted her seen, Dad objected because they have Kaiser (which cuts her nails because of Coumadin). Staff got one foot done as it hurt for her to put on shoes,probably wouldn't let them do other foot. 

Paw, beautiful job! You do great work. I miss FBB too, such a nice way to remember her. How are you feeling? Energy level any better? 

My brother and nephew were supposed to come out to Dad's today. Trip got cancelled at last minute. Sad story. 

My wasp sting is really bad now, lots of swelling under both eyes and eyelids. I think I look a lot like the character in Mask (with Cher). Would have gone to urgent care but Dad needed me. Been putting aloe and a gel pack on it, too close to my eyes for anything. Taking anti-his times but they don't seem to help. I'd post a photo but it would scare the pants off all of you!

Okay, caught up for now, getting really tired so I'll post for now. Dad is asleep and there are things I want to get done before he wakes up.

Hugs all around! Know that if I didn't mention you here by name, you're all in my thoughts.,

Happy Hump Day!

Oh Damn I hate when I get this far behind--I do remember things (sme) but don't remember who The bird was beautiful as well as the picture. Isn't it funny how u notice more when something happens. I still cn't get over FBB really.

And the itchiness can drive me wild, I get so itchy but even scratching u'r numb there so u can't feel the scratch but can feel the itch. I actually have scratch marks on me cuz I scratch so hard.

If u can buy a fitted arm sleeve with a hand for 100. buy it--mine was redicockulously expensive and my ins. cover only 150.00, which was awful, I went much cheaper for my legs and they help too, But when it's hot it's a little uncomfortable. I know I got mine after chemo and rads and all of a sudden there was all kinds of swelling like I need more skin on me. That 's why I say fly with caution.

Blondie u'r going to be busy, but just take it easy and enjoy.

Today just flew by--I was so busy with my personal papers and work before I knew it the day flied by and I was hardly on the computer except to work on something. My eyes then but and back hurts so I have to stay off for a while. Now I woke up and I'm not so tired meaning I will be sleeping most of the day, and I hate that really. At least I have my comedies on TV

Kids seem to be starting school so early this year, just a few more weeks--I'm so selfish I love having Joey home. Oh well..

Surely some of you can relate to this!!  Hope it doesn't offend anyone!

2nd, no apologies needed. We all have complaints, so you're no different then the rest of us.   As far as the cost of nursing homes and assisted living, I've found out a few things from helping my SIL with her friend.  Also had a GF who had a stroke and was in a nursing home for a year. The state will pick up the tab on the difference of their income and the cost of the home. My GF's income wasn't a lot and the state didn't make her sell her home (her boys rented it out). She was there for a little over a year. With my SIL's  friend, his income is about 5k a month, the assisted living (not skilled nursing care). Is $7500 a month. He pays all of it now until all his money is gone. When it is gone then the state will pick up the difference. I believe it's through Medi-Cal. If you or your dad are paying for all your mom' cost the staff should be able to help get you info on what the state can do to help. There's various programs available to help.

Good morning everyone...thank you for the nice comments on the bird I'm painting. Susan, I picked it up at an outdoor garden gift shop. If I ever go back there I'll see if they have any others. 

Tang, I'm sorry you're in pain and having fevers. Hope the doc figures out what's going on.

JWoo, I had a mastectomy and I've never had pain in the sternum area. I hope the pain goes away for you soon. 

2nd, yes, I think I'm feeling more energy. I have blood draws and infusion tomorrow and will know my lab numbers after that. So maybe we can do lunch soon?? I know it's not easy and you're probably spending most of your time visiting the folks. We can pm eachother. 

Sas, l love what you wrote about the value of seeing a therapist/counselor. Cancer creates such trauma response, and if there is a trauma history already it can bring up so much. PTSD is definitely a problem, and therapy helps us work thru and process all those feelings and related behaviors.

Hugs to all who need a hug today......

Yes Sassy I agree that the "chilling" was the clincher for me too. Reading back Tang's note I think ID doc is tomorrow maybe. That and the change in color since I assume Tang's been monitoring it. And "something's off".

Pawprint - thanks for the bluebird in the garden. I'm going to look for something too. Hopefully I can find one of those garden flags.

2TA - if your eye area is that inflamed I would go see a doc. Not the area to be taking chances with. You may need something for next sting. Not sure if there is an intermediate step between Benadryl and Epi-Pen. And hey girl complain all you want. We may not have an answer but we are here to listen. Make friends with wait staff in dining room. If you or your dad is not able to mark her menu they should at least note what things she likes. The "won't eat" list could change, don't be surprised. The water may taste different there or be colder/warmer than she's used to. If the juice gets too strong for her water it down. And yet strong tastes sometimes are better. Try a smaller fork - dessert size. Smart to 1/2 the food amount; maybe get smaller plate too. And I don't want to sound tacky (been there with my GM) but she is like a small child. Eating/not eating is a matter of control and one that she still has. That and there is no connection left to feeling of hunger or thirst. I usually found that pt would drink better than eat. Have you tried the sippy cup that sucks up from the bottom? I had a lot of pts that used those. Does she still suck on a straw? Then again I've been in NH that would not use straws. Can't remember the reason.

3rdtime - and same to you too. You've got a bundle on your plate. Listening post is open for business.

Smaarty - not sure about your question about logging in. Yes I do when I've shut system off but otherwise not. But I leave "Favorites" open in a tab during the day. 

O my Nettie If only if only there was such a medicine. Great about the back pain being gone.

Hi everyone--Just me---wow I never men to get behind but it always seems like I do.

OK again I get confused.

isn't  fever and chills the sign of some type of infection--altho I did read a while back tht some get this periodically thruout all this crap. I still get a small one like 99.5 with the chills every so often and there isn't any connection to anything yet. I just know I have it. But u should  definitely tell u'r Dr.

Im just so tired most of the time, I get so mad at myself cuz I'm not productive at all. oops there goes my phone