Starting Chemo June 2013!?!?!

Hello everyone! I have been following your posts!

Dyvgrl: I have done 4 AC and 4/12 taxols... 8 more to go... I just dont know how, from an emotional point of view,since it is really hard... However I am doing quite fine since I have continued working and feel quite good... what I really hate is "chemo brain" ... it is an obstacle in my job as well. I teach in university and I totally understand you. Sometimes I even feel my tongue getting "stuck" and not being able to talk correctly! When that happens I just talk much more slow!

I am 36 with a husband and a 3 year old. I feel that BC stole my life as I wanted it today. I do now have to thank a lot of good things I have, but c'mon it is hard to say that when your life has changed completely. My relationship with my husband is not the same. I am glad he has tons of work and worried about his dad who has lung cancer... terrible to say it but he is tired so well sex is not in the picture. If he does not try with foreplay and all that... I will not...

Everyone at work keeps telling me how good I look... yeah, they dont know that about my dryness (vaginal, eyes,body), about my pain in my armpit, how hard is to look in the mirror (as a matter of fact I really dont look myself in the mirror), among others.

I decided to do chemo and rads because the "system " made me to. I had to work this with my psico because when I realized that, I got really angry and frustrated. I have decided to keep doing them because physically I feel I can keep up with mmm 70% of my life. I believe that homeopathy have helped me a lot. I truly have faith in that "area" that I visit a couple of years ago.

Regarding tamoxifen... I dont know if I will do it... still evaluating... one option is to start doing it and if I do feel really bad I will stop. I actually leave it to my homoepath...I am in his hands... But 10 yrs, NO WAY!!! I just dont want to feel of 70 when I am 36... blocking hormones, no libido, no nothing... I want to live but I want to live a life i want, not just survive...(BYW, nothing against 70 yrs old...)

Did most of you lost eyelashes and eyebrows after chemo?

Have you read about mistletoe?

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/pdq/cam/mistletoe/patient/page2

There are other websites with more info... an alternative we could use...

Take care ! cyber hugs!

I so annoyed I just wrote a whole story and it was deleted!! All is well here besides the neuropathy in my toes and getting out of bed in the morning my legs and feet hurt but than I start moving and it goes away. I'm back to work full time scheduled for my exchange on November 13. I have no side effects from tamoxifen other than hot flashes. Not bad at all I take it at night. My hair is white fuzz but have about an inch but still see my scalp. My nails stayed in tack I use hard as nails everyday and never touch my cuticles. So glad to read everyone is nearing the end. I didn't have to do radiation made me so happy... Hang in there xoxox enjoy your day ladies

hi everyone - I've been wrestling with hormone treatment too. It's 8% decrease in reoccurrence that's big could mean 9 years more of living.

Struggling with the decision, when I talk to friends about me possibly not taking the hormone blockers they look at me like I am crazy. Why wouldn't I take them what's a few side effects? I used to have beautiful hair, loved sex. Worried about losing who I was and I want to continue loving sex, as it is when I have sex now it hurts feels like I am a virgin again. Anyone else experiencing this? (Sorry if it's too personal)

side effects to hormonal therapy are not as bad as you may think!! It is also the backbone to anyone who is ER/PR positive!! I still enjoy sex very much and the only thing it does for me is hot flashes all day long. But I'm not sure if its sill from the chemo or if its the tamoxifen. Reading the posts recently I was surprised to read that a lot of women do not want to take hormonal therapy and I feel the same way aaoaao do everything you can for no recurrence!!! We all put poison in our bodies that killed more than just the cancer and tamoxifen just depletes the cancer cells of what it needs to survive so why not try it and see!!! Rain----I didn't get any of the side effects from tamoxifen sex is just as good as it was!!! Good luck to all

I still think people should do what they want regarding treatment decisions. I will say though that I do find it odd that people will have cancerous cells/tumors cut out of their bodies, radiate the hell out of any area where cancer cells might still be, and spend months having poison injected into their bodies to kill the cancer cells and then refuse to take a simple daily pill (with fewer serious side effects than chemo or radiation) to starve those same cancer cells. The reason why it is now recommended to take hormonal therapy for 10 years instead of 5 is because studies have proven that there is a significant benefit for reducing the chance of recurrence. I just returned from a breast cancer conference and the experts there said the longer you take them the better but even just taking them for a few years offers some benefit. I hope people really look at the research before just deciding to reject the use of hormone therapy. At least try the pills and discuss any side effects with your ONC, many can be resolved. However, in the end we have to make our own choices and we have to live with those choices. I do hope for the best for everyone here.

Weirdest thing tonight. 5 weeks out from my last taxol treatment, my big toenails are killing me. Anyone else having this issue? Managed to have little to no nail issues during chemo and now it appears I am going to lose my big toe nails. They hurt throb very painful. Most mention losing nails being uncomfortable and unnerving but not "painful". Ouchie.

Also I feel like an old lady with joint and body aches. Sharp pains in my hips and shoulders (large bones) what's the deal? I am 5 weeks post.

Any insight ?

Nistavilla. aaoaao, thank you for your honest direct opinion. I want to go into hormone treatment and I will. Grade 3, 1.9cm er pr+. Can't have journeyed this far with chemo and a double mastectomy to bail now.

Wishful thinking and scared I guess. Had such bad SE on chemo makes me nervous I am going to be a sicky on HOR's.

NistaVilla thank you for posting a reply it soothes my mind knowing that you are having minimal SE's and your still enjoying the wild thang!

Guess I am just pouting thought I could but this cancer shit behind me once the last chemo treatment was done. Wave bye bye and move on like it never happened.

Nope head up lean Down and forge on.

Committing to 6 months of TM and tomorrow I am going to fill the RX

ROAR!!!

Hi, All! Don't get on as often as before.....just trying to keep up with life while going through all this. Usually just peek on all of you about once a week to see how everyone is doing.

Aaoaao--I agree with you 100%. I pretty much do what the doctors recommend. Of course, I read up on the recommendations and ask questions. I want to do everything I can to live as long as I can.

Many of my questions come from reading this board and hearing the experiences all of you have.

Rain- I finished ACT on Oct 3. Just lost my first toenail yesterday and I'm sure I will lose more. Sometimes my toenails were painful and they were gross. The whole thing freaks me out a little but, there is another tiny toenail that was under the old one, so not nearly as bad as I thought it would look.

I feel like this is never ending doc appts. There is a cyst (?) on my ovary that my onc doesn't like the looks of so she is sending me to another doc. I am also waiting on the genetic testing. I feel like if the genetic testing is positive I would just rather have a hysterectomy and be done with it. Not sure, but that may be the docs recommendation also. I guess I will find out. i will start rads on Wed.

has anyone heard from Ocean?

Thanks Anne - it's good to know I'm not alone in my baldness but I'm not sure I'm feeling any better knowing it could be another month or two. Maybe for Christmas? I told my 9 year old I didn't think I'd ever have hair again. He said, "that's ok Mom, it's not your hair that makes you special anyway". Tears.

I get fingernail and toenail pain a lot. My fingernails look horrible but I can see new growth by my cuticles. My body must be recovering. I still have quite a lot of pain. Not like it was. I'm almost 6 weeks out from chemo. I think the radiation prolongs the pain. I've had 14 of 33.

I agree with aaoaao. Everybody's gotta do what they gotta do. I'm gonna do it all. My oncotype score was 34 and every step I take reduces that number. Gotta do it for that 9 year old.

I went shopping the other day - for just a few things. I was with my kids grabbing some things to finish Halloween projects. I saw this guy in the store a couple times and each time he would stand aside, and kind of smile. I didn't think much of it - I have a lot of people stare at my dew rag and baseball cap. I loaded my stuff into my car getting ready to leave then pushed the cart into the cart rack. When I turned around this same young man was standing there and he says, "Has anyone told you today that you're beautiful?" ... I said "Thank you!" I got in my car and cried all the way home. I even had my daughter in tears. I think sometimes it's the act of always being so strong that makes us so emotional. I get overwhelmed with exhaustion by it all sometimes.

Anyway - wanted to share. Hope everyone is doing well.

Hi Katiak aaoaao and all I'm getting g ready for my exchange in 9 days and I have been reading and love all the stories. My fingernails and toenails have hurt through the entire treatment but all still accounted for. Tamoxifen and I are friends every night at 8 I take it with no SE. My hair is about a half inch and almost filled in all the way but still not enough to call it a hair do. I know everyone says its just hair but it is the hardest for me. Hope all is well and everyone feels good!!! Enjoy your day

dlm - let us know how the exchange goes. I have to find a new doctor for my annual exams. They want a pap smear on me before tamoxifen. I haven't done one in awhile. I'm just tired of the whole process. I also need to schedule a time to have my port removed. Has anybody else had their port removed? How does that go? I want to wait until radiation is done. 16 more to go. I slather with lotion and I'm doing ok so far but I've developed a couple spots - like freckles. Weird. I guess I better get it done so I can wrap this up before Christmas.

NO hair - none.

salty Jack - I didn't lose ALL hair with AC but most and looked patchy and funky started Taxol and lost it all shiny bold but midway through it started growing . Full set of peach fuzz now I have 1 left and about half inch. It does feel good to know it's still working up there but prob a long time before I have a full head of hair again.

It has been a little over 4 months since chemo. I have an average of 11/2 inches all over my head. My hair is UGLY!!!!!!! Like a brillo pad!!!!! I think it is thicker than it was. My hair appointment is the week of Thanksgiving and I am so hopeful that she can do SOMETHING with it! I always wear a hat, scarf or wig when going out. Wish I could be free like so many that are bald and just go!!! My eyebrows and lashes were thin, but Brian Josephs helped me keep them and they grew back fast. I am still using my tube. It has lasted since June and using it everyday. So, it isn't as expensive since it lasts so long.