Chemo May 2013
Comments
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Lorrie, have the doctor leave the name of patient blank so you sell the blanks to us and others....we all want that get out of jail free card!
Sounds like hubby has a good sense of humor....mine would have made the same remark as I did to the doctor...too funny.
Pat -
I guess my mom knew what the docs didnt.... she passed away today. I came out of treatment with my phone exploding from everyone trying to get aholdof me. I didn't believe her in the end.
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Lorrie, I'm sorry for your loss. Please don't look back, move forward. Sending hugs.
Pat -
Oh Lorrie. My condolences. How were you to know?!! How are you doing?
Love and peace - Carla
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Im the worse creation of a daughter, ever... I doubted her to the last day.... how was I to know? At keast I got to tell her that she is loved.... (befor I thought she was faking again) I feel like such a shit...... I hope she just remembers me hugging her and telling her I love her
Can I just say that 2013 effing SUCKS
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I don't know the story Lorrie - but I'm so sorry to hear of your moms death. Don't beat yourself up - she knew and knows beyond a shadow of a doubt how much you loved her. All moms do - that's the great thing about them. -
Lorrie,
My condolences - so sorry about your mom. Too much to go through and process on top of treatments! Sending healing thoughts your way.
Annie -
Lori, so sorry.. Please don't beat yourself up. When my mum was dying I couldn't bear to see her in the hospice so I stayed away. . I regret that too - but all we can do is move forward and our mothers know we love them
And I second that 2013 has been a fucked up shitty shitty year.
{{{{{{{{Lori}}}}}} -
Lorrie I believe your mom is in a whole new realm and that she knows your heart and can hear your words. I also believe she now knows her part in why you reacted to her the way you did.
We all have our pain and hangups and we all hurt our loved ones unintentionally. Forgive her and forgive yourself. Life is too short.
God Bless you and your family. - Carla
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Lorrie, I'm so sorry to read about your Mom! I bet it's the hugs and the "I love yous" she has taken with her. -
Thanks all...
So today was #25/33... so close. I swear if it was cold out, the boobie would be putting off steam its so warm. & RED & really uncomfortable, but I think (hope) im gonna get through without any actual skin breakdown & oozing... the targeted area may end uo badly, but thats just a small 2"x2.5" area... & it WILL heal.
I hope everyone else is doing well.
Happy thoughts!
Lorrie
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Lorie - so just 8 more zaps to go right? I hope the skin holds up too - I hope you're doing okay and being kind to yourself..
My middle child turns 12 today!! He was born a month after my mom died and we named him after her (His name is Seth and hers was Stephanie). He had a difficult time in the early years and I really didn't enjoy him as a baby the way I should've. But he's such a delightful child now.
And my youngest Aaron, needs phase 1 braces!!! Sigh......another $2500 to spend that we don't have....
Anyway - Happy Friday. I have a RARE and random day off today so going to try to make it count....
xxxx -
Ukkate - enjoy your day off! I hear you about the braces. My son is in his second phase which has been forever - he's 18. He had to have them on longer to try and pull the lower jaw out. He hates them - says no girl wants to kiss him with braces on! Fortunately, I paid off the bill 6 months ago so we are free and clear of further orthodontist payments.
Happy birthday to Seth!
Annie -
Annie...funny about the braces....I'm hoping it acts as a girl repellant...then I won't have to worry! And I know my daughter will need them too, so YEAH, keep the boys away!
Kate, Happy Birthday to your son!
Pat -
Lorrie I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. I am sure that she knows that you love her. You have been through so much this year, 2014 is just around the corner.
I am healing pretty good from the surgery.....my good breast is still leaking yellowish stuff which the Dr says is normal. I don't see him until next Thursday. I'm guessing my size when it is all said and done will be a C to a D. Hard to say, the lifted one is still swollen I am sure. My implant side hasn't bothered me at all since the surgery, must be my repreave since the expander was killing me for the last few weeks. My implant side is definitely smaller but with my next and last surgery my PS is not only going to make me a nipple he is going to add liposuctioned fat to it to give it more of a natural shape and feel. I'm pretty happy with the way it feels now, that expander felt like a rock in there after my last fill.
I finally got my Anastrazole so now I get to see what my side effects will be from that. I think they tell you many more side effects than you could ever have just to cover their ass. Can cause constipation, can cause diarrhea. Can cause insomnia, can make you drowsy. Most likely I will have diarrhea, insomnia, hot flashes and who knows what else. Day 2 of 1,825, lol.
I hope everyone is doing well. -
Kate- well let me sit down...you have a day off?? Congrats. Happy birthday to your 12 year old. One more year a teenager.
Teresa glad things are going pretty good after the surgery. Good luck with the arimidex.
Lorrie keeping my fingers crossed that there is no skin breakdown.
Day 13 of rads. So far not bad at all. Just slightly tender in spots.
Take care everyone and a blessed weekend to you.
Carla
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Lorrie, sorry to hear about mom. I agree, you had your reasons, your mom knows whats in your heart and you need to move on.
I also agree 2013 sucked in so many ways and I so look forward to 2014. But many good things happened in 13 as well and I tried so hard to enjoy all the good.
This is a picture of the team I walked with last Sunday that my daughter and her friend put together. It was a great day with friends and family and we raised a lot of money to help others. Last time I checked we were team 11 out of almost 600 teams.
Have a great day ladies. xo -
received my CTreport from when they did the CT for my DIEP. The ct was to look and see if I had good veins, vessels or whatever it is they need from the belly for the fat transfer.
I'm not thrilled. To me it reads that I have lesions on my liver and one side of my lung.
My oncologist happened to call 10 minutes after I read the report,..,but she was calling to discuss pathology from the surgery. (Which she said was fine and I won't need chemo). So I read her my CT scan report...she hadn't gotten a copy... and she was "calm" (good?)...but wants me to have a chest CT (because this one didnt see the whole chest) and an MRI of my liver.
That's it folks, I'm done. I'm praying for a miracle.
Hubby also needs to go see the internist in regards to kidney sonogram for cysts on his kidneys...he knew the cysts were there but something has changed and they want him to go for an MRI. He sees her on Monday.
I leave for Vegas tomorrow....I am really in no mood to go party. But I guess I can pull something off...might as well make a happy memory for my friends.
In between all the fun I will be making calls to plan tests. Btw I absolutely cannot stand MRI's. my veins feel like they are shit as they were "rolling" at surgery time. Really, what the fuck.
Pat -
So I took the hubby to the beach for the Styx concert at the casino & as im sitting at a machine, voluntarily feeding it my hard earned money..., haha, I hear someone say "nice hair cut". I ignored it and then she tapped me on the shoulder and said it again....
I said "well.... I.... uh....." I was wearing one of my baseball type hatst, too
And she says, "I know..... mine wasnt a hair cut either, but it grows back and you will move on and be just fine like me..." "you have a wonderful night young lady"... and she walked away.
I sat there with my mouth open watching her walk away & I couldnt move or speak.. she looked great & she has no idea how good it made me feel... good isnt the right word... I felt a little "calmer" about it all....
Nice lady....
We are all gonna be just fine!
Lorrie
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Pat,
I know you are freaking out - but don't go to that dark place. Are the lesions new? When I had my scans done at the beginning, my RO told me everything looked fine and I had no mets. However when I got a copy of my scan report it noted that I had a lesion on my lung and liver! WTF! I asked the doc....well what about these? He said that most people have non-descript "bumps and warts" on their organs - that are benign. The report recommended that these areas should be followed in later scans, but my RO said not to worry about them as he wasn't worried. The lesions were not indicitive of BC.
So that may be what is going on with you. I would think if they were suspicious areas, the radiologist would have contacted your Doc immediately after the scan, and not left them for you to find and question. My team at the cancer center told me that when it's bad news they deliver it quickly - but if it's good news sometimes it takes awhile for them to get the results to you....great huh! I had to wait a week for my scan results that they had back the day after the scan...and only got after I pestered them for days (just too busy to call me with the good news).
So I know you are worried but I think your MO is just being thorough with getting you the CT and MRI. Better to be safe than sorry - I've been told it's rare for progression of BC while going through treatment - it happens but usually does not. My doc says it's the year or two after treatment ends that is the vulnerable time for re-occurrence so you aren't there yet.
I know it will be hard but go have a great time in Vegas! Live (and party!) in the moment. All is not lost - hopefully just a scary bump in the road that you will get past quickly, something we all will probably have to endure at some time or another as we go through this journey.
(((Hugs)))
Annie -
Wow ladies, I have missed so much!
Lorrie, so sorry about your mom- we all can do only the best we can with the information we have at the time. I agree with what someone else said... All moms know their children love them! I hope you can find peace.
Ukate- I hear you about the braces...just finished paying off braces for my twins.....a whopping 12,000 !!! Its terrible how much they cost. BTW they are 14 and no girls that I know of yet.....I hope braces work to keep girls away too, I want to keep my "men" to myself! Still see them as little boys. Happy belated B day for your son.
Patty- I have no words. But I did read somewhere that you can get scarring from the chemo. I am praying with you that its nothing.MRI can raise more questions than need be I think. My pre breast surgery MRI showed that I had an aortic aneurism (SP) and an enlarged heart. My docs freaked out and sent me directly to a cardiologist, because a dissecting aorta means instant death if it ruptures and an enlarged heart can eliminate chemo as a treatment for cancer. I had a ultrasound with saline IV the next day. Turns out, I have an athletic heart!!! Which is good not bad!. I hope you can enjoy Vegas! You deserve a good time.
Congrats to everyone getting close to finishing rads! -
Lorrie,
Loved your story! It always helps to see and hear from someone in person who is thriving after BC. Takes it out of the abstract and makes it more real and possible. Would have made my day too! I hope to pay it forward like that lovely lady in the future....gives hope to us all.
Annie -
Lori - that is a lovely story. I wish someone would say that to me. I walk around and think everyone must think I "chose" to cut my hair like this!!!
Patty - deep breathes girl......I hope you can have a little R&R in Vegas xxxxx
Worrywart - great pic. It's great that so many of you came together...
Do you girls ever read the Stage IV or the reoccurance boards here? It freaks me out to see that so many Stage 1 women have a reoccurance. And how annoying it is when you meet people and they say "Oh Stage 1, you are lucky they caught it early and you are fine" Grrr....
I'm playing Tennis this morning with my son - I hope I can make it with my stiff and sore arms and legs!! -
Awe jeez pat!
I just caught up on some posts..... yes, breath! And think only positive.... you are always giving us good advice about that.... go to Vegas and have fun.... & deal with what you need to when u get home. I have a good feeling about you... youre gonna be just fine!
Lorrie
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Pat-ugh-I like what Annie and Gully said. Let's think in that direction as much as possible. If it was bad news, they would have gotten hold of you sooner. Or maybe scaring from chemo. It's got to be difficult not to go to the scary places, but do what you can to stay positive. Good luck. Good luck with your hubby too. When it rains it pours. My thoughts qnd prayers are with you.
Worrywort what a terrific event and great picture
Lorrie what a beautiful moment that lady gave you. An angel of sorts.
Well ...my hubby has had an ostomy for over 20 years. We went to e.r. yesterday because there hadn't been any poo for over 30 hours.
With ostomys if there is no poo it isn't like constipation it means there is a blockage or a bowel is twisted. He has had problems 3 other times in the 20 some years. 1st time surgery. 2nd time thet dug in there and unblocked food, 3rd time e.r. put him on morphine to relax his bowels and thank God it worked. This time after reading the ct scan they said his aeortic anorism has grown to 5.5 cm. A danger point. When that busts a person bleeds out immediately. Also he has multitude of hernias and , as of this morning, the dr said that the hernias are causing the block. Because of his overall health and obesity, the surgeon really doesn't want to do surgery on him. The anorism can be dealt with by going up his thigh. Thusly he wouldn't have to go under. The hernias are a different story. The doctor told Greg that he is hoping for Greg to pass Gas (through his ostomy bag) because surgery could be catastrophic. He's on a morphine drip to help his bowels to relax. Never thought I'd be praying for someone to pass gas.
Love to all - Carla
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Praying with you Carla!!! Sending Hugs and positive thoughts!! -
Funny, I thought chemo was gonna be the worst fir us all and then things got easier....
Im sorry for all the hiccups we are running into toward the end of .... well.... we all thought things should be getting better.. it WILL get better!
All the girls showed up for dinner tonight... Yay! My youngest has skipped for the oast 3 weeks
..But she came tonight with my grandson! Made me sooooooo hapoy to see him!
I hooe everyone falls asleep with a smike tonight! Think happy thoughts!
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Thank you worrywort.
Gas we wanted. Gas we got. Plus maybe two or three ounces of poo. Not enough for the nurses and doctor to want to check him out of thehospital. But enough for my hubby to tell them he was going to check out. It certainly isn't the first time he has left the hospital before the doctors wanted him to. Hope he's right. He always has been in the past. We are home now. He will have to deal w the anorism very soon. The hernias I don't know. And actually don't even know if he is unblocked. Time will tell. Doesn't seem as life threatening as it did earlier
A few days ago I bought a round trip ticket to New York to see our daughter $234.00. Supposed to depart San Francisco airport at 11:45 p.m. this Friday. We will see what happens. Hubby's health first. If he is o.k., then New York here I come.
Weird weekend.
Have a good week all. - Carla
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Carla..... your hubby... pats hubby & all of the rest if you are in my prayers as I head to the sack......
Its like. ?.. why cant we have one thing at a time to deal with....Im not a super religeous person, but someone told me that God doesnt give u more than u can handle..... He must think we are pretty strong!
From what ive seen/read here... I dont know anyone stronger than you all!
Keep on keepin on!
Lorrie
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I've typed up two lengthy responses hours apart and neither would go through, so now I'm going short.
Thank you all for your support. I will try to live in the moment for now and not let my mind wander to a dark place.
Carla, hope your hubby feels better and gets his issues addressed soon. Maybe we can get together for a quick hello when you are in NY? (Great airfare!)
I'm in Vegas, won big last night (shhh, don't tell anyone) on a poker slot machine...that I couldn't figure out how to use! Lol. Yes, know poker, but I couldn't figure out how it was charging for the hands. I usually play "max bet" but didnt because was still trying to figure cost per hand....so I could have won even bigger had it been max bet. Oh well, not complaining, the win will cover my expensive last minute airfare and then some!
Pat
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