Chemo May 2013

ItIsWhatItIs2013

yay Deb!! Congrats!!

Good luck tomorrow, Pat

I hit the top of the hill today... The half way mark woohoo...

Lorrie

17/33

Pattysmiles

congrats Debbiema!

On my own I started with 1/2 tab for first week...I read the parade here and for that idea..I was so afraid of all the side effects the ladies talked about. After the first week I went full pill. I did that for a few weeks than had to come off it for surgery (and recovery...still off it)

I really didn't see much in regards to side effects. I did finally book to see on/gym to get baseline transvaginal ultrasound as recommended....I was also overdue by a month for my annual...wouldn't you think i would learn?!

I do take it in the am....I think I had read somewhere it could cause lack of sleep? (Who knows how accurate that is)...so I figured am would do me better.

Check with your insurance plan if it requires to be mail ordered ...I had a problem, another person just mentioned potential wait due to that...better to get it straightened out if possible before you go crazy.

Welcome to the next step!

Pat

kobrien

Hi all!

Had my tissue expander exchange surgery & breast lift last Monday. Very pleased with how my "real" breast looks. Have now a silicone implant on the right. It's pretty stiff- guess it takes time to soften up & fall into place. Have a drain in and hope it comes out tomorrow.

Hair really coming in now-- EVERYWHERE!! Nails have all these ridges & white areas..

Patty- I've been in tamoxifen for about a month now & I'm having a terrible time sleeping. I wake up every 2 hours without fail. I take 10 mg in the am & 10 in the pm. Think I may try taking the whole 20 mg in the morning to see if it helps my sleeping.

Lorrie- glad your half way done with rads..

Pat- hope you get some decent answers at your oncologist.. Good luck!

Congrats Deb!

Debwarrior

thanks for all the great bra advice ladies.

Kobrien, congrats on your surgery.

Teresa, best of luck this Thursday. I hope you have a speedy recovery.

Pat, good luck with your oncology appointment.

Kate, enjoy your upcoming weekends off.

Lorrie, ditto what Pat said. You look beautiful before and after.

I'm starting to come out of my pity party.

Deb

Ukkate

Yay Deb for finishing Rads! That's awesome

Kobrian - glad your exchange/reconstruction went so well. I'm really pleased with my regular breast also! I'm still not "Thrilled" with the other one but I guess it's about the best it can be...

So my work is now telling me that i have to start working Saturdays. I can't even tell you how SUPER BUMMED I am about this and I feel really backed into a corner. And DH works so many weekends, as do I with DJ'ing - I don't even know how I"m going to figure this out. This year has really sucked and it's so hard not to just want to crawl into a corner and have a huge pity party for myself

LJaeger

Congrats Deb! Wahoo, to finish rads! I do my final test run this afternoon, to begin tomorrow for 5 weeks.

I've been on Tamoxifen for 1.5 weeks now. So far, so good. I take my 20mg at night before bed (9:30 or 10p). I haven't really noticed any SEs. Meeting with the gynecologist from Memorial Sloan today, looking forward to what she says/suggests about all this going forward. Glad to be on board with a Gyn who specializes in cancer patients; I was definitely not going back to my old doc, who generally dismissed my concern over the dimple in my breast...

ItIsWhatItIs2013

YAY, Deb!!

I'm sorry Kate ... Would they be willing to compromise a little...or maybe switch shifts with someone else if its okay with your employer??

Last night was the first really tough night sleeping with doing rads.... Can only lay on back. If I turn on my right side, the weight of my gigantic (size A) boob hurts so back to my backside... If I turn to my left side, the pressure hurts... Back to my backside again. Im also sleeping in what i would call 'defense' position. making sure hubby doesnt fling his arm over me or bump me, haha. Plus I'm so tired, I'm in bed at 830pm & spending too much time in bed makes my whole body ach. So in a nutshell... Not getting much sleep & waking up with achy bones (just cuz I'm old haha) is making Lorrie a little cranky!

In the good news department, I'm halfway done! Can do this!

Have a good day, all

Lorrie

Teresa_G

Congrats Debbie!!!

Pat please let us know how your appointment goes today!

Pattysmiles

ok risen, glad you are coming along!

Kate, sorry about the weekend thing, that sucks...especially now, after all you have been through.

LJaeger , good luck starting rads.

Met my oncologist today...she had no reports. Sigh....but, I had a copy of pathology in my email so we went into her office to access it. (Yeah!). BUT it left a lot of things unanswered (boo!). Feel like I am on that roller coaster again!

Essentially, the oncologist feels, based on what was in front of her, that it wouldn't warrant additional chemo. BUT, she feels there was nothing in the pathology pertaining to "burning of cancer cells" or something like that...from the chemo...so she questioned if this was the final pathology and she wants to reach out to pathologist. She said some cancers do not respond to chemo, but do respond to hormone therapy, so I will definitely be on tamoxifen (I didn't doubt that!). She is hoping to have all the reports in by the end of the week, confer with my local BS and call me with any news. So a waiting game continues...I'm fine with that. Now I just need to get everyone to have the copies of the reports they want and life will be grand! Lol

Pat

Teresa_G

Pat I am glad to hear that at least you had the email you could go over with her. Waiting games aren't fun, sorry.

Gully

Hi Debbie:

Congrats on finishing your rads! I take my Tamoxifen at 7 AM. I get hot flashes when the sun goes down....weird right...no SE during the day.

Pat: I hope your MO appointment went well....waiting to hear and wishing you the best outcome possible!!!!

ItIsWhatItIs2013

So as I come and go at the hispital every day.... I just found out my mom has been in icu... heart failing, kidneys failing.... will be lucky to have 1-30 days left. Her caregiver told my girls to go ahead and go through her things and take what they want... the rest will be donated/disposed of. Ive put a bit of our history here on the thread about our relationship (or lack thereof).... I called my sister tonight and she will be meeting me at the hispital after my rads apt tomorrow & we will go see her together.  With all the past, the last thing I want is for her to go thinking that I dont love her. Shes only 63, but her life has taken its toll on her.

I was just telling my boss that im finally feeling in good spirits an strong about finishing rads & was genuinely in a great mood..... now all I can think about is my mom that I havent really spoken to in over a decade...... blagh..... think ill have some wine tonight.....

Hug your family....

Lorrie

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Wow.. just read my post & I sound so selfish....  omg.... im sorry, I dont consider myself as a selfish person! And this has really been an eye opener.....

Teresa_G

Lorrie, at least you have the time to go see your Mom and make peace. Hugs to you and I hope the reuniting with her goes well.

I don't have to be to the hospital until 1:00 for my surgery tomorrow. I really dislike the afternoon time. So I scheduled my bone density scan for 11:00, I figured since I have the day off work for surgery I might as well get something done instead of sit here and think how hungry I am.

Good night everyone!

Ukkate

Lorie - sorry to hear about your mom Even though you haven't seen her for so long - it's still hard to watch your mom decline and die You didn't sound selfish at all to me

Patty - it didn't sound like you got great answers I don't like to hear that "some cancers don't respond to chemo". It just bothers me with my treatment that there's no "check" to make sure it's all gone. Like my legs hurt a lot and I think "What if I have bone mets" And I think I have a hemmoroid right now but I've had some rectal bleeding with bowel movements (TMI - sorry!) and now I"m thinking, should I have a colonoscopy??? Ughhh...

So here's my funny story for the week - I decided to go "Wig-less" at work. Well, not one student guessed that I was growing my hair out after chemo. One asked me if I lost a bet!!!!! Another asked me if I shaved my head for "Breast Cancer Month". It's been pretty ammusing. Our students are not kids - the average age is 35!!! So I've had to tell them over and over that I"m a BC survivor....but it's been so nice not to deal that wig!

debbiema

Hi Ukkate - when I read you post, I completely understood! Treatment is done, so now what? I worry too with every ache and pain! I had very bad leg pain after chemo finished, however, that went away. Now I have slight rib pain on my right side. Had an xray and all was fine! A philosophy to try to live by is that if the pain persists for more than a couple weeks, check in with your doc! It's so hard to figure out a way now to move on. I think only time will help with that. Hang in there. I'm trying too!

Pattysmiles

I accidentally removed this group from my favorites so I've missed a few posts.

Lorrie, you do not sound selfish. You cannot undo the things in the last in regards to how you felt at the time given the circumstance. Do NOT second guess yourself! You are the bigger person for going to say goodbye. Please lean on your sister and girls at this trying time. My prayers are with your family.

Theresa...hope your surgery went well!

Kate...never TMI...hope your "issues" are resolving. Too funny about the guesses on the short hair.

I ran into a fellow mom who I've known since our kids were in 1st grade. She commented about my hair, I thought she knew about the cancer...oooops! Well she does now! Lol. Then she checked out my new rack and told me she is jealous. . I take it for the compliment it was meant to be.

Had hubby pull my last hip drain this am. Hurt when he was "digging around" for the stitch to cut, but pain free while pulling. It's amazing how much tubing is inside of us! Now I am in compression.

Will be booking a flight to Vegas for next week. One of my good friends is turning 50. While I was in the hospital they booked her celebration trip and kept it secret...they didn't want me to feel bad if I wasn't up to it. Met one friend yesterday for lunch and she spilled the beans and asked if I wanted to go....I'm not one to miss a party if I can help it, so I'm going! Don't know how much "fun" I will be or will have but the birthday girl is thrilled I will be there. We both went through the police academy together. On the very first day they had our group of 40 (there were 2,000 of us broken into groups) introduce ourselves and set up carpools. We lived within a few miles of each other, both drove really old volkswagon bugs, carpooled and became friends....27 years later can't miss this!

Healing vibes to all.

Pat

Teresa_G

A trip to Vegas sounds really nice. It's a 6 hour drive from me. I plan to be there sometime in the next several weeks.

So Thursday I figured I might as well sleep in instead of up feeling hungry until 1:00 when I needed to be at the hospital. Well my phone rang at 9:30 asking if I could be there in an hour. I said yes of course and so I got an earlier time at the last minute. Very nice. Things went well, my implant side feels so much better without the tissue expander. My right side got a lift and reduction. I wasn't planning on a reduction but I have the largest saline implant they make. I was surprised about that but the PS reminded me that most women have breast tissue to add an implant to, then it made sense. So now I'm smaller but it still looks good.

I wish there was a test that we could have to tell us we are cancer free.

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Hey, all... boobie is bright red, especially where they place the bolus. That has little tiny blisters that are almost impossible to NOT itch.... 

Its okay! Still manageable, but uncomfortable.

So.... turns out, I go to see my mother again & shes not great, but doing okay. The hispital wants to kick her out?  First news I got. (That she told one of my gurls).. she had days to live... from the hispital, they say shes got lots of time!  Dont get me wrong.... this is good news.... but proves to be ANOTHER of my mothers ploys... to guilt us! Im sounding heartless right now, but this is her MO! If only you knew her.... 

I should have caught on during a couple of my visits..... then the guilt trips started & talking to the nurse, it all came together!

Im so pissed she pulled this on me again! Im not sure ill respond next time.... even if its for real!

Im f'ing going thru treatments to save my life.... im sick of playing games with a woman who is sick, but pulls shit to pretend to be on her death bed just to be .,,,,, ugh.,,,, our mother! This is the biggest betrayal shes done so far & im DONE!

I hope everyone is having a good weekend.....

Lorrie 21/33

ItIsWhatItIs2013

I NEVER oncetalked to her or complained to her abou what I was going thru when I was in chemo, or crying cuz I was losing my hair...

I thank my stars everyday I have you ladies here & Wish you werent here at the same time, cuz you shouldnt be going thru this....

Just wannna say Thank you!.... u have no idea how you all have helped me thru the most difficult timeof my entire life!

Ukkate

Lori - that's messed up about your mom. Mom's are supposed to be here to support their daughters. I'm sorry that you have this added stress.

Patty - a trip to Vegas is so "Bridesmaids"!! I know you'll have a great time. My good g/f are taking me for an "overnight' on November 2nd to celebrate me being done with BC. I hope I can have a great time...

Teresa - glad the surgery went well. I think I had a bit of a reduction too because I was a DD prior to BC and my PS said that he'd most likely be able to make me a single D. I am happy with the boobs but the implant still feels kinda weird to me.

So I have a STINKING COLD and I feel like crap. Prior to BC, I never got sick I cant' remember having a cold this bad DH and I were bickering last night - I think he's sick of me being sick. We took our middle son to see "Captain Phillips" (awesome movie btw) but by the time we were driving home, I just felt so rotten. I ended up getting into bed at 7pm and didn't come down again. I think my body has just packed up from those 4 weeks of having DJ gigs every weekend. Today I am supposed to chaperone our Jr Youth Group event to the Corn Maze. I think I'll still go - the fresh air will probably be good for me.

I have my herceptin on Tuesday so another trip to the chemo lounge....

Pattysmiles

Lorrie ...sorry that your mom has been unable to change her ways. Obviously you have taken the high road. You are there for your girls. You didn't follow in your mothers way of parenting. YOU ARE A WINNER. (I will send my psychiatrist bill in the mail! Lol). Seriously, continue with your battle..you are almost there! Continue to be the kind person we know you to be! I wish I had a cure for that itch you have Lorrie...

Kate, sorry to hear about your cold. Yes, once you come off the "nonstop merry go round " the body relaxes and I swear our immunities drop. Have you ever tried Zicam? They make a cold tablet, at first sign of a cold you start taking them...every few hours for a few days..supposed to cut back on how long the cold lasts. I also LOVE their nasal spray..when all clogged and can't nose breathe, I use it at night and can breathe when sleeping... I don't ever get a "simple cold"..it usually turns into a drip into the chest and becomes a chest infection. So the Zicam seems to stop that drip and I avoid "phase 2". Hope you feel better soon!

Pat

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Thanks all for lettin me rant! Haha

Pat, Vegas sounds fun.... the good thing is that u can do things at your own pace. I hope its a blast getting together with your friends.

Kate, I hope the cold gets better!

Teresa, ill bet that the new 'girls' are gorgeous!

Managed to get meat & vegies in the crock for sunday night din din with the fam. One of my girls is in Chicago right now so we'll miss her.... the fam is lucky... I think this will be the first dinner ive cooked in quite a while.... im ALWAYS exhausted... even after sleeping for 10-11 hours! Haha

Boyeee, the boobie is not happy! LOL...  but it only has 7 regular zaps & 5 targeted boosts. So during the boosts, the rest of the boob gets a break! Almost there!!!

Have a good week everyone!

Lorrie

carla53

Lorrie  sorry to hear about your mom's illness and betrayal.  In a worped way, I guess at least with the betrayal,  you don't have to feel guilty any more.  Which is worse? I don't know. For me, I think feeling guilty is worse. It's so much easier to externalize and be pissed at someone else then to feel guilty of hurting someone.  But the pain of mom pulling that on you...I don't.  Momma as some issues.

Teresa  Oh boy! New boobys.  Hope you are healing well.

Kate  Hope u r feelg better.  Did u have to work this weekend? 

Pat have yourself a great time in Vegas this week.  Better watch out with the new rack.  You might be asked to do a burlesque show there.  What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Kobrien  congrats on your new lift and boobie.  So looking forward to when I can get mine done.

Ljaeger good luck with your radiation.  Can hardly believe that your doctor didn't think a dimple in your breast would cause concern.  Good grief.

Day 9 of radiation.   So far just a slight discoloration and slight discomfort of clothing.  No more wearing my underwire bra. Sports bra seems o.k.

Have a great week all.

Carla

Ukkate

My mum's cousin Trudi sent me a card yesterday and an ad from a UK paper. It's the back of a naked woman and there's writing on her back and it says:

Dear Body,

I wasn't always happy with you. I wanted longer legs, a flatter tummy, firmer arms. But recently we've been through a lot, you and I. We faced cancer, together. We lost our right breast, our hair fell out. But we got through it. And now I've learned to love and accept you for what you are. Not perfect. But beautifully imperfect. You are my body. And I"m proud of you.

There's a link to a video too - breastcancercare.org.uk/body

Pattysmiles

Carla, good to hear from you. Wishing you the best with radiation.

Kate...I love that expression written on her back.. I have very mixed emotions on the video. Yes, I agree, we are all the same people, scars and all...but, I feel this was a bit of a turn off too. If I were newly diagnosed I would be petrified after seeing that video...(yet somewhat inspired too?)...what about showing reconstructed women as well so you can see all the options. Btw, I always thought mastectomy scars would be way worse, so the video did educate me! (Or did they pick "good scarred women".

Pat

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Hey all...

I have my Chemo follow up today before I go to get today's zap and visit with my RO. I think my onc is going to prescribe my tamoxifen today. I called around looking for the Mylan brand and was able to get Fred Meyer Pharmacy to special order it for me. They don't usually carry it. I read a couple months ago about the Mylan brand giving milder SEs than the Teva brand (if I am to get any SEs at all...) So I was happy that finally, something went my way - hahaha.

Hope everyone is mending well from surgeries...

Lorrie

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Haha... so my Onc isn't of the opinion that I wont tolerate the tamoxifen... has he gotten to know me so well that he knew I would take it as a chalenge? he says to expect more hot flashes, not feeling great & the, once in a while,  urge to go on a rage & want to hurt someone..., haha 

I asked for a Dr.s note to give my hubby...,, you know..,, my "get out of jail free card" for when im a nut-job!

Finished 23 of 33 today... 5 more regular & 5 targeted boosts. The good news the whole boibie gets to stoo being zapped after 5 more.... the bad news is the part of my biibie that is burnt the worse and blistering gets the additiinal 5... oh well! Almost done. At rhe beginning, 23 seemed so far away & now its done....

Keep on keepin on, ladies!

Lorrie

Pattysmiles

Lorrie..."get out of jail free". Lol

When my doctor told me those side effects I said "and that's different from me now how?"

Pat

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Oh... haha, pat! Right ?

The funny thing is... when I told my sweetie tonight.,,, he was like..... " get me the note" haha.,.... you bet I will & make 500  copiea just ro pass out.... lol