Chemo May 2013

Teresa_G

I am so glad that the Dr called you back! Yay and good news as far as no radiation, most likely no further treatments other than the Tamoxifen you are already taking. At least you don't have to stress over the weekend and yes get answers from your oncologist, we will all be waiting for the response.

Ukkate

Arghh - Patty - that's so scary and that makes me really nervous too...but I'm glad that all the margins were good and SOOO thankful that you had that breast removed too...

Gully

OMG Patty, keep us posted. I am thinking about you. Cant wait to hear the answer to your questions. I am so glad you chose to do that surgery! ((((lots of huggs)))))

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Pat!!

How scared you must have felt/feel....I'm so glad the margin issue is clear, & OMG to hear that news! I'm so sorry for how yo must have felt! & I am also glad you chose the mastectomy! why does this shit have to mess with us so much?

I'm sending gentle hugs to you! And I hope for a safe travel back home

Lorrie

15/33

ItIsWhatItIs2013

other than thinking about what you are going through pat.... (Should I have done a mastectomy?)..

Today the boobie is hurting on the outside . Really pink & now just an undershirt touching the skin is painful. I'm wondering how I will do another 18 if it hurts now. The inside is still the same. Doesn't hurt any worse! It came really fast... When I saw RO on Tuesday they asked how the skin felt & I felt nothing yet... I'll start trying the gel rubber pad things, but I work and can't do It there.

Oh... I fell asleep at work twice today! How embarrassing! I sat on a couch we have in my office and woke myself up with a snort. Then right at my desk! Like a bobble head.... Time for more rest, I think!

My oldest says she's gonna design a bubble blouse so I can blow it up with cool air so no material touches the skin... Kind of like a fat suit. I said to her "thanks kid, but mamma already feels ugly! Don't want to feel fat too!" It was funny... I love that girl...

Pat... Keep us posted!

Hugs to everyone!

Lorrie

Annie54

Pat,

So sorry you are going through this rough patch! For what its worth, my MO told me at the beginning that when they do chemo first before surgery, they do it in hopes of shrinking the tumor. He said some women had a complete response to the chemo (killed everything- tumor gone) but more likely the tumor would be smaller and easier to remove with surgery....so I don't think it's unusual to still have some cancer "left" in the breast. Maybe the chemo is great at killing stray individual cancer cells that could cause trouble later - but just puts a dent in a large group of cancer cells grouped together in a tumor. Anyway, it will be interesting to hear what your MO has to say.....we will all be waiting for that! Try not to worry.....

Annie

LJaeger

Thinking of you, Pat. I believe Annie is right on track with her answer - I know another woman who had chemo before surgery, and it shrunk her tumor but not completely. Then they did lumpectomy surgery (instead of having to do a mastectomy right off the bat). What's important, is the cancer was blasted or taken out. You're such a fighter, this cancer has no f*cking chance against you!

Worrywart9390

I'm confused, I thought Pat already had a lumpectomy and this was new...either way very frightening!!!! This is a very scary journey we are all on, I wish us all the best!! Hope you are OK Pat!! In one respect, at least you know, and now you can handle it. I'm not having any tests now that I'm done with surgery, chemo and radiation and the unknown is very frightening.

Anyone walking this fall, I'm doing a Making Strides walk at Woodbury Commons in the Hudson Valley in New York. We have done the walk the past 4 years, but this year it was important for my daughter that we have our own team, so her and her friend set that all up. The walk will certainly take on new meaning this year thats for sure.

Hoping we are all the ones saying 20 or 30 years from now..... "30 years ago I had....blah blah blah".

Hope everyone has a great day.

Pattysmiles

worrywart, I'm on the other side of the Bear Mountain Bridge..in Yorktown Heights.

I am not planning on walking...I went to a Relay for Life in June and found it too fresh for me to be there...so I left before opening ceremonies. I wish you a nice day for your walk!

I am so much calmer today. I think that phone call took the wind out of my sail and I really could not think straight. Hubby isn't good at talking people off the ledge, he just jumps up on the ledge with them. So I needed a "sane" person and found them on this website until I could talk to the doctor.

It came back to me late yesterday that the original surgery had small margins because there was cancer found in the margins...and the doctor had wanted to go back in for additional tissue and get better margins. It was at that point that I had told her no, and I would opt for mastectomy.....only she had me do chemo first as we had waited so long from diagnosis time, surgery, healing etc...all that time had made me forget that original offer of hers to go back in for additional lumpectomy. (At which point they would have found the cancer!)

Personally I think it has worked out well, had I done the additional lumpectomy, then got that pathology I would have then had the mastectomy and then the chemo ...which would put me about now in chemo...and I never would have met all of you! I also was able to spend some good quality time with the kids in August.

So Tuesday I will meet with the oncologist. I imagine she will say to continue with TAmoxifen. I can't imagine her saying anything else, and will deal with that when I get there if she does.

Thank you ladies for weighing in, it has helped to make me feel better.

Saw my kids this am as they got up for school. It was priceless. Their smiling faces were as bright as the time I surprised them with my retirement trip to Disney (woke them up the day after Thanskgiving and told them we were getting on a plane).

Pat

Worrywart9390

Pat, I'm glad you are calmer!! Things will be fine for you, I'm sure. I really never thought about how I'd feel at this walk!! I hope I'm ok with it, my kids and friends rallied up about 50 friends,family and neighbors. But it is what it is. If I'm uncomfortable I'll leave, I live 5 minutes from there. I hope its a nice day. Feel good everyone.

Pattysmiles

worrywart, I'm sure you will do fine. I felt like a deer in the headlights at the relay...all people from town, and I don't know them all...I felt like I was on display as they put us in a special t-shirt...almost felt like I was branded. I'm not used to being center of attention like that.

You have been in the environment before, you have family and friends...whole different ballgame.

Enjoy!

Pat

ItIsWhatItIs2013

happy Friday!!

Glad to have a couple days free from the zappers! I asked the tech today if the boobie keeps cookin over the weekends & he said yes & that it will still cook for a couple weeks after I'm all done..

Then I stripped down the gown and laid in the table & he goes... "Ooh you're pretty toasty already,huh?"

Thanks for making me feel better! Haha

I hope everyone has a good weekend!

Lorrie 16/33

carla53

My bro in law has been visiting for a cpl days. He and my SIL moved to Oklahoma around 6 yrs ago and my SIL passed away a few yrs ago. Known him over 40 yrs now. I was a mere 20 yrs old when my hubby and I got married and for over half that time we've lived anywhere from 1 block to 2 miles away. so good to visit with him.

Pat-Good grief lady. What a scary nightmare. So glad the nightmare ended. And that in the end things worked out well. Would have loved to have seen a video of your kids as they woke up and sww you. Your heart must have been as happy and warm as it could possibly have been.

Worrywort. I bet u will enjoy that walk w ur daughter and FIFTY friends. It will be incredible. Don't be wuch a worrywort. ) Am looking forward to hearing about it.

Lorrie ughh Really hope the gel rubber pad works for you. On one of the radiation sights someone suggested dipping a tshirt.?? In aloe vera gel?? And wear it?? IIt's supposed to releive the pain?? Big help. Ha ha. You may have read it.

MarieNL congrats on the last chemo. That's big big big. Just congratulating you reminds me of how grateful I am that I am done. Makes me want to cry for joy. Hope your S, E.s aren't too bad.

Today was day 3 of radiation. Just an ever so slight discomfort. Almost unnoticeable really. Disappointing to hear that it keeps cooking during the weekend. oh well.

Wishing all of you a blessed weekend.

Car

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Carla.. I did read about the aloe soaked shirt! Haha ... I feel like I've read everything except how to "sail thru" LOL

Unfortunately.... All of the great advice I've read about... I can't do all of it. I work full time, have to grocery shop ..etc. I feel like I would have to become a hermit until I'm done, to do everything I can, to help ease the discomfort. Right now all I have is evenings and weekends. It's so hard at work. I'm either falling asleep, or pulling my blouse away from my boobie. I'm lucky that our casual group of employees knows what I'm going through & they don't blink an eye when I shove my hand down my blouse to re-adjut things ...

I'm thinking positive, though.... I'm half way done! And in the evenings & weekends, my boob is well lubed! LOL

It's just too bad I'm doing it myself instead of the hubby! Haha. He would, but not sure he'd be as gentle! Hahaha

Lorrie

Debwarrior

hi all,

Thanks for all the good wishes for my recovery. I'm sorry that I have been missing in action. I took the BMX pretty hard emotionally and have been having a hard time adjusting to losing my breasts. And I have been missing in action in all parts of my life. I'm sure I'll feel better after the reconstruction but this part is hard. I'm starting to come back to life though. And I have been thinking of you all and wishing you well.

Patty, I'm sorry about your scare but I'm glad your doc was reassuring and so glad you had that mastectomy. You got that bugger out. Glad you are safely home with your family.

Lorrie, sorry that you are having discomfort with radiation, but also glad you are not dealing with lymphedema.

Carla and Annie good luck with radiation treatments.

Kate and Laura glad your eyebrows and hair are coming in nicely.

Maria, congrats on finishing chemo. It is a real accomplishment.

Best to everyone

Deb

Pattysmiles

Deb, sending hugs. You will feel so much better after reconstruction.

One day at a time.

Pat

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Pat,

It's good to hear from you & I can ONLY imagine the emotional stuff with having breast(s) removed. Im sorry! I'm glad to hear you are recovering well from the surgery. When will you be able to do reconstruction?

I know this will sound stupid, but about 13 years ago I had my big toe removed. I was born with (in lemans terms) was what the Elephant Man had... Only it was just in my foot & big toe. I asked to have it removed so I could wear shoes without being in so much pain. I was fine through the whole thing until they removed my cast & I saw it missing from my foot. I started crying. My hubby & my dr just looked at each other & didn't know what to do/say... I couldn't describe it. I wanted it off, I asked for it, yet when I saw that a part of me was gone.... Well, I guess I was grieving...

I know it sounds weird & I am in NO WAY comparing it to how any of you, who have to have your breasts removed, but I would think (again I could be wrong & don't mean to assume) that there would be a grieving process as well. Part of you has been taken. A part that is ESPECIALLY personal & .... Well.... Part of what makes us women feel good about ourselves.

I'm sorry & I wish I could make it better.... Looking forward, I hope the lot of you get some new, perky & gorgeous ta-tas!

Here's hoping we all have a great week!

Lorrie

Debwarrior

thanks Lorrie and Pat for the compassion and sympathy. Lorrie, you hit it head on. I was pretty clear about my decision to have the mastectomy being a two timer, but the reality is tough and I guess the grieving goes on until you're done with it. I'm sorry you lost a toe. That's not insignificant.

I expected to have immediate recon but a week before surgery, surgeon changed the plan. He had good reasons but it was hard to adjust. I think I would be having a hard time either way. I have tissue expanders and after a process of fills I will have diep recon like Pat, probably in two months or so. I hope it's not much longer than that.

Can folks who went through the expander process tell me what they wore for a bra during the expansion process? Right now I'm pretty flat chested since I have only had one small fill. I have a post mastectomy camisole but is there some other kind of mastectomy bra to wear during the fill process?

ItIsWhatItIs2013

deb,

I don't know where you live but there's a store here where I purchased my hats that sells bras & etc for breast cancer... Name if it is Saffron's... Maybe look online. I got their info from the BC advocate at my hospital.

Good luck!

Pattysmiles

deb, I don't have info on the bras....maybe see if you can find another thread to ask? Can your PS office recommend somewhere? Maybe try goodwill or Salvation Army to see if you can get some cheap bras to hold you over? If not hit Walmart...their prices are pretty reasonable.

Lori, sorry about your toe...any loss is just that...I also think the anticipation is a huge part as well as the finality and it all comes to a head.

Pat

ItIsWhatItIs2013

Here's me last year before DX...

here's me during chemo...

I just figured out how to upload pics.... Haha anyway... What a change huh? Haha....

Lucy & Ethel (now over a year old give us eggs everyday) and my grandson Jaxon! Born on my birthday 5/6.... 3 days before I started chemo......

Wow how life changes so quickly! I'll try to find a pic of the kids drawing on my head! That was a good time thru all this!

Have a great week, all!

Ukkate

GRRR - I wrote a post and tried to put in a picture and it logged me out and failed! Lori - so nice to see some pics of you - I didn't take any "chrome dome" pictures....

Deb - I wore soft "tank bras" that I got from Walmart - the type that look something like a sports bra but have zero support and you just pull them over your head. They come two in a pack. As my expansion grew, I sometimes wore a regular bra but I only had a single mx.

I am SO happy to have my 4 gig weekends behind me and have a few weekends off.....I'm just plain exhausted...

Pattysmiles

Lorrie, you are beautiful, both ways.

God Bless your grandson.

Kate, sorry the computer bumped you..I hate when that happens. Enjoy your weekends off, you've earned them!

Pat

carla53

Lorri you are so cute holding those baby chicks. Beautiful red hair. Precious baby and nice head Thanks for the pics.

Kate glad u have some weekends off. Enjoy!

Deb The first cpl weeks or so after the mastectomy and expander I used a sports bra. After that I used my regular bra w wire. Since my left breast wasn't removed, it filled the cup just fine. The right side looked and looks o.k. in clothes because the cup has form to it. Maybe at first I stuffed it w tp or kleenex.

Carla

Teresa_G

Deb - I had a single mastectomy in April. Since then I have been wearing cheap sports bras that also came in a two pack. With my mastectomy my surgeon still left me just a little so one side was maybe an A and the other side is a D. So I was very lopsided. I did get a prosthesis but only wore it once. I will be donating that back. The prosthesis was very heavy and didn't stay in place so I was adjusting it a lot. I felt much more comfortable lopsided. The people I cared about knew what I was going through and to be honest I didn't care what others thought when they looked at my chest. I got my expander in August and have continue to wear the same sports bras through the filling process. I have surgery on Thursday to get my implant and lift the other breast to match. After surgery I will wear whatever the Dr tells me and go from there. However I think I am done with underwires. I wore one of my old bras with the underwire at my nephews wedding a few weeks ago and it was extremely uncomfortable and wore it again last Friday. No more underwires for me, besides I won't need them as much with my new boobs. :-)

Friday I went to Pink Friday, Party to Save the Girls. It was a lot of fun. It was the Utah chapter for the Susan G Komen group and they raised a lot of money. I went with a friend who had breast cancer 1 1/2 years ago.

Friday I also met with my Oncologist to discuss hormone replacement therapy. He prescribed Anastrozole (Arimidex). He chose this instead of Tamoxifen because I had a full hysterectomy and am post menopausal. Anyway I went to pick up the prescription and Blue Cross hasn't authorized it yet. They might make me mail order it. My pharmacist said Blue Cross was looking into it and that it is an expensive drug, like $400 per month, OMG I wonder what my portion will be??? If it is a lot I will ask my Oncologist to please prescribe something else. WOW!

LJaeger

I wore no bra and just a stretchy yet slightly lose tank top while I had my tissue expander. Then I would just put a wrap or cardigan around the tank top. So, very similar to the lose sports bra idea. After a long time with the tissue expander I did occasionally wear a regular bra, but the expanded side was larger and obviously more pronounced than the regular side. If the bra was too padded it didn't cover perfectly, but ended up being ok.

My docs said I could never wear an underwire bra again - since I lost feeling in that area, I wouldn't know if the wire ever got out and was poking me. That could cause infection, or just hurt me, period. So, I ended up removing all the left-side wires in my underwire bras.

Pattysmiles

Teresa, you might want to call to see where you are in the world of mail order prescriptions.

Mine was "lost" between mail order and chemoDrugs....apparently there is a difference in how my plan covers those items. My company is express scripts. In my case I WAS able to get first prescription filled, but renewal was refused as it was a "maintenance drug" which my plan required be done mail order. A whole different ballgame! It is a "process". Also, to let you know, my copay for the mail order was similar to the copay at cost at CVS...so no "big deal"....call and ask what you can expect to be paying. Also keep in mind that you can get coupons from the drug companies..,I do that for my sons ADD medication, lowers the cost by75%.

Pat

Teresa_G

Thanks Pat for the advice, I would have never thought of coupons!

I hope your recovery is going well.

Pattysmiles

glad to be of service.

Feeling good. Doing my best to sit on my hands and OT do all the "stuff" that needs to be done! I'm not a person to sit on her hands though!

Tomorrow I see my oncologist and will be asking about my new surgical pathology and any affects it might have on treatments.

Pat

debbiema

Hi everyone! I just finished my rads today! Yeah! I'm so thrilled. Tomorrow I need to start my tamoxifen. Can anyone provide an opinion when they take their tamoxifen - time of day - morning/evening?!??! Also, what can be expected in the first few weeks? Welcome any comments!