October 2013 Chemotherapy

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  • kittykate78
    kittykate78 Member Posts: 23
    edited October 2013


    Happy Birthday Pam!!! @TeamKim - sounds like you and I are feeling the same things. The headaches are the worst for me right now - absolutely no medicine can touch them. Also feeling fatigue, muscle aches, and abdominal pain. Just had my 3rd tx on Friday. The weekends are such a waste now :( Fridays I'm so wired from the steroids that I literally can't sleep thru the night, even with Ambien. Then I'm so tired that i sleep almost all of Sunday. Glad my taste buds are still intact, but have a feeling they will go when I start my AC. It's comforting to know what I'm feeling is "normal" as awful as that is.....


    I don't know if anyone else has felt this, but I am having reoccurring nightmares about getting hurt. Nothing major, just a scratch or a cut. The fear comes because it won't heal and just gets worse. Anyone else feel/experience this? Advice? I am trying to be careful but I have a young son....we play and go for walks and such. I don't want to be afraid to do stuff :(

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  • SuckitBC
    SuckitBC Member Posts: 34
    edited October 2013


    Happy belated B-day Pam!


    I'm so sorry Vintage & ML that you had hospital visits, as if this wasn't already so unfair & difficult. You're both going to feel that much more proud of yourselves & impressed with your strength when all this is done.


    Kittykate-I haven't had that particular nightmare, but I have been having nightmares. I let out a whimper the other night from one & woke my hubby up all panicked. It must be from the meds.


    Relocated-congrats on getting your port, one step closer! I hope the soreness fades quickly.


    Wrenn-just checking in with you, I know you're playing the waiting game which in some ways is worse than chemo SE's. How are you holding up?


    I had minimal SE's today, but the depression is kicking in. I still have 3 rounds of AC left and then 12 (sounds like so much!) of Taxol, 5 months of this seems unbearable. I think I better find a new hobby...

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  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited October 2013


    hi suckitbc. I can't imagine thinking about having to do that many treatments. I have been going back and forth between not wanting to do my 4 treatments and then thinking I should. I think depression has set in for me big time. I am avoiding going out even for groceries and have made excuses to keep my daughter from visiting.


    I think i am so tired of the stress that i don't have it in me to fight now. I used to chat on the phone with my sister all the time but two weeks ago asked her not to call because i am tired of faking it and want to give her a break from supporting me.


    Reading these posts I realize that I am not as brave as I thought. Feeling very limp.


    Sorry if this brought anyone down. I know things go in cycles. Guess this is the bottom of the wave for me right now. I feel so sad to see the woman who really are brave struggling with side effects. I want it all to stop and give us all a break. Xoxo

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  • sb1999
    sb1999 Member Posts: 9
    edited October 2013


    wrenn, dont give up and try to stay positive. i'm often thinking as i lie in bed what if i just stop...can i just give up now? we have all come so far and so long in this journey, we cannot give up.


    ive been struggling through the headaches, depression, body aches, stomach pains, shortness of breath, no energy,and the no appetite. it is all torture that no one should ever have to endure...we must strive to the end. fight like hell to overcome this battle.


    you ladies have been my light each day. you all know exactly what i am going through and feeling when i feel that no one else around me does. thank you each for sharing your thoughts and stories here.we all need you!

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  • gia444
    gia444 Member Posts: 68
    edited October 2013


    Wren try to stay positive. I know it is hard. I have also been depressed thinking about the treatments coming up. I don't even like to go out now. I force myself to go for a walk. I am also having trouble sleeping. I used to be a happy person.


    Thank you everyone for being there. I don't know what I would do without this board....

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  • VintageGal1111
    VintageGal1111 Member Posts: 705
    edited October 2013


    Awh gia444 hang in there, we lal have good days & bad days. We need quiet alone time, have a pity party but then shake it off. I had a couple friends and my mother remark about my UP attitude & how I am not letting this get me down. Well it does get me down & on those days people don't see me. But as I told my mother, for all any of us know we would have many many more healthy years left or this could be our last year. I would never want to think I spent my last October moping about being depressed because I had breast cancer. I would want to (& do) celebrate that I am here this October & will live each day!

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  • VintageGal1111
    VintageGal1111 Member Posts: 705
    edited October 2013


    wren


    we just go day by day, even just step by step. I had some one ask yesterday (after I've had such bad side effects from A&C round two) how much longer my treatments are. My MO said it will be a year of my life. Already went through the diagnosis, biopsy, tests, surgery, more tests, etc....now 2 months of A&C followed by 12 weekly treatments of T&H, followed by 9 months of Herceptin. Another surgery is likely. Radiation maybe also...but why look down that long road?


    Right now I look at today, I am up, feel good, plan to get hubby to help me haul some furniture & stuff into the shop then I'm going to Savers to look for scarves & hats.


    Simple (normal) things get me through the day. Please take care, Having this forum is such a help, i hope you get all the good juju we're sending you!

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  • VintageGal1111
    VintageGal1111 Member Posts: 705
    edited October 2013


    SuckItBC


    we're pretty much on the same schedule, & it sure does seem like a long haul, it is a long haul! But we need to find other things & events in between treatments to concentrate on. I am trying like crazy NOT to shape my world for the next year around infusions. While I know it's a huge part & so much of how we feel & what we can do hinges on the chemo & SEs we need to find other things, just simple pleasures, to help balance it out.


    I plan to do the breast cancer walk on Sunday. I have friends walking with/for me & know it will be an awesome positive experience.


    Al the best....

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  • Jaybird26
    Jaybird26 Member Posts: 49
    edited October 2013


    Good morning,


    Chunks of hair started to fall out in the shower this morning. Cancer I hate you

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  • naiviv
    naiviv Member Posts: 535
    edited October 2013


    Wren,


    Sorry you are feeling so down. There is so much to process on top of not feellining well and recuperating from surgery and still thinking What the heck is in store for me. I am also waiting on chemo. I sometimes think waiting is the hardest on our minds, part of me wants to start and deal with whatever just to be that much closer to over and then I read what the ladies here face and I say &%$# ...and it becomes a countdown to an inevitable I want to avoid. Try and find something that makes you happy and do it, also try and get outside if your weather permits and get some sunshine and please make sure you are eating as healthy as you can tolerate.


    Write us here if you need us.


    Vivian

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  • naiviv
    naiviv Member Posts: 535
    edited October 2013


    Vintage,


    Sorry to hear about ER trip. Lots of liquid for you and are you allowed to take fiber? Like metamucil ? or Mineral oil ? prunes? The second C word I dread. I have been taking iron due to anemia and just got called yesterday that I have to double dose. I guess my levels went down with the surgeries. Sometimes it doesn't matter what I take, I have to stop iron for a few days. 1/2 tsp of mineral oil a day does work, but I hate it. But I am not sure how any of theses go with chemo, I have to ask.


    Now I am afraid too, I read that it's not good to be anemic and go through chemo. It can potentially increases the reocurrence rate.( I found this on google, but I will be asking MO) For the next two weeks I plan on eating as much iron filled foods as I can and need to find a way to keep levels up. I think it'd time to start juicing spinach.


    I hope it has continued to go well since hosp. If it is a reminder you need to take something, I volunteer to ask you every day if you've had your prunes.


    Vivian

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  • lgkgde13
    lgkgde13 Member Posts: 164
    edited October 2013


    Wren - you are brave and strong. Look how much you have been through already :) its OK to have the down days/weeks just know that the good ones are right ahead. I too was depressed leading up to treatment....the waiting was driving me crazy....hang in there we are all pulling for you.


    Off to treatment #2 today...enjoying a cup of coffee before I go bc i know it won't taste the same for another week or so :(

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  • Macy187833
    Macy187833 Member Posts: 182
    edited October 2013


    Hi Ladies, just checking in. I've been away and busy after my first treatment last week. First treatment went well even though it was intimidating.


    Wrenn, hang in there. I felt depressed and anxious the last week before I started treatment and it seems other ladies have felt similar things. I hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon. I'm thinking of you.

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  • gia444
    gia444 Member Posts: 68
    edited October 2013


    Thank you so much VintageGal for the kind words. They really did help and I am feeling better this morning. Sometimes in the middle of the night it gets worse and your mind goes crazy.


    Sorry Jaybird that your hair is falling out. I am going to cut mine off after my first infusion.


    All the best to everyone.

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  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited October 2013


    I think it is hard to go from being accomplished, energetic, efficient people who care for themselves and others to being ill, worried, tired and dependent on others to whatever degree. This naturally takes the wind out of our sails! Just know that you all can do this - YOU CAN! It is a process, and you have to take it day by day, hour by hour, or sometimes minute by minute. Time will pass, and then you are 1/4 of the way through, then 1/2, then on the downward slope, then done! Keep in your mind that this is a temporary diversion off the track of your normal life, this is not forever. Try not to look too far ahead or behind, don't assume that you will be the same as you were, you will be the cancer-free version of the new you, and adapt to that. You will look back on this time and realize that you are tougher than you gave yourself credit for, you can kick a$$! You will be proud of the fact that you endured this, and came out the other side. You may become more sensitive to the burdens of others while being less tolerant of meaningless distractions. You may become kinder but less patient with those that waste your time. You may learn what is really important to you, but realize that the small things in life are critical to appreciate - the old "smell the roses" thing! You will understand that life can be short, so it is important to live your best life - whatever that is - as much of the time as possible. Once treatment is in your rear view mirror you may realize that it distills what, and who, is important as you move forward.

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  • oconnor2450
    oconnor2450 Member Posts: 58
    edited October 2013


    Ohhhh Gia, we could have had a pity party with a side of high anxiety somewhere around 2:45am last night!!! You are not alone!


    I read Vintagegal's post and feel better already:) Some good days, some rough nights.


    Anyone else out there a single Mom with teenagers?? Sometimes I feel like, how did this happen? Going for my 3rd weekly infusion on Friday...last night I thought I was having some kind of weird heart SE, so anxious.... the stupid cat jumped on my head and startled me awake, heart pounding...then I remembered, oh yeah, I have bc and then the ridiculous spiral of anxiety...


    Wondering if I should maybe just do perjeta & herceptin and nix the Abraxane...


    Now here this...warning if you like Three's Company, turned Cancer alt guru: In a bookstore yesterday I was perusing the health section looking for a cure:/ Anyway, stupidly I picked up Suzanne Sommers inane book and, actually read the first two pages...Why..? Who knows, anyway, then I started questioning my treatment.


    I am going for a walk now in search of my lost sanity.


    Hope everyone is hanging in there through hospital visits, 1st infusions etc...

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  • Pam358
    Pam358 Member Posts: 294
    edited October 2013


    {{{hugs}}} for those having a tough day!


    For those struggling - don't think of it as not fighting, but instead pausing the fight. Remember "holding the space" for the fight takes a lot of energy too and we forget that. It can be exhausting. Sometimes we say we are "just" healing or we are waiting for the next step and don't remember that all of that is stressful and takes a lot of energy so it's no wonder we get tired and need to pause. Our bodies can only be in "alert" mode for so long and then we need to rest, regroup and then start again. Hang in there - We got this!


    Wrenn- I'm sorry to hear about the depression setting in. Do you feel that your sister needs you to fake it? If not, you should let her call and let her know you are going to whine - you deserve it (I bet if tables were turned you would be willing to listen to her complain) And ask that she not try to cheer you up and that could be her gift to you. Some people think we want to be cheered up and sometimes we just want to have a pity party and invite those we love. She probably has other people in her life that can support her as she supports you. As for your daughter, I hope soon you feel like you don't have to make excuses and let her visit.


    Kellee - cute new hairdo! I bet your brother-in-law felt good to be able to send you your sister-in-laws hats, etc.


    ML40 - thanks for the tip about goodwishesscarves. My MO said he was only giving me the Neulasta shot automatically because I am getting dose dense chemo (every two weeks), he would have waited until he saw my counts if I was getting my chemo spaced out farther. I don't remember how often you are getting your chemo.

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  • Jaybird26
    Jaybird26 Member Posts: 49
    edited October 2013


    Hi Everyone,


    I often pride myself with being very strong due to all I have faced already in my life but I don't think any thing can prepare you for a cancer journey. I thought I would be ok with the loss of my hair but I was wrong. I will be shaving my head this afternoon. I was hoping to make it to this weekend but the tingling scalp is driving me nuts. If any of you have the option of shaving before it starts falling out I would recommend it. Tomorrow I have my second infusion and hoping all goes well. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Janet

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  • SchoolCounselor
    SchoolCounselor Member Posts: 452
    edited October 2013


    When I was diagnosed with cancer and colleague of mine came in to me and said "now you are a warrior. They will be days when you think you have nothing left, and you will reach deep down to that place where you thought nothing existed and you will find what you need to keep going". I start chemo soon, and ladies reading all of your posts here you are all truly warriors. A warrior does not feel strong all the time, and a smart warrior seeks respite sometimes. A warrior also does not give up, and you ladies, are such a role models for me in your ups and downs. I am so grateful for this forum that allows us to be real with no judement, just love and support.


    Fight on ladies, fight on.....

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  • marchmay67
    marchmay67 Member Posts: 5
    edited October 2013


    Hello Ladies


    Day 3 after chemo was a good day lots of energy, no side effects cleaned my whole house LOL Nurse came around 2 pm to give me my Neulasta shot didn't start to to feel the effects of that till the next day . Day 4 body and bone aches just like you have the flu but no fever spent most of day in bed just was not expecting to feel that bad. Day 5 today feeling a little better took the dog for a short walk this morning just to get some fresh air. Really dont have an appetite but try to drink lots and take Senokot every night which helps a lot. Throat is sore and I seem to have a constant headache which I take tylenol for , but yes Day 4 was for me the worse yet.


    Jaybird26 I have not lost my hair yet but I know it is coming and I have thought of shaving it off before it starts I will be thinking of you Thank you all for all your support ladies it means a great deal to me.


    You all have wonderful stories of inspiration, hope, information and strength that keep me going when things get rough.

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  • lgkgde13
    lgkgde13 Member Posts: 164
    edited October 2013


    all - reading your posts as I am in chemo chair for round 2. Thank you for being such a great group! We are fighters.


    SpecialK- thank u post was great exactly what I needed

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  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited October 2013


    So glad - it is hard to know what the future may look like when you are in the midst of this, so I thought I would offer some perspective!

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  • lgkgde13
    lgkgde13 Member Posts: 164
    edited October 2013


    did I mention I have been shedding like no other today??? I think it will be gone very soon

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  • travlmom
    travlmom Member Posts: 90
    edited October 2013


    SpecialK. Thank you for all of your kind words. I am day 7 after tx1 and last night was miserable. I woke up in such pain at 1:30 feeling like all of my bones are in vice grips. Then hubby started snoring - he left the room but I was in such severe pain. I finally made it to the oxycodone bottle by 2:30 and feel back asleep by 4am. Why does it take so long to work? Woke up at 7:30 and took another one immediately. I have not taken another one because I do not want to sleep the day away and be up all night again. I am supposed to have herceptin tomorrow - ugh. Funny thing was during the day yesterday ai was feeling pretty good.


    I did finally let myself cry several times yesterday. It seemed to relieve a little pressure in my body for a short while. Does anyone take anything else for pain? I am praying that this is the lowest point and I start to feel better tomorrow,

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  • VintageGal1111
    VintageGal1111 Member Posts: 705
    edited October 2013


    Hi naiviv


    thanks! I was told by the ER dr to take Miralax powder in my morning drink. I do have stool softeners (& prunes LOL) just need to face facts, keep track & pay attention! Because I have the other prolapse issues things can plug up easily, even when using laxatives because of the way my *plumbing* is....


    My brother called to ask why I was in the ER. I said "do you really want to know?" He chose NOT to know!

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  • VintageGal1111
    VintageGal1111 Member Posts: 705
    edited October 2013


    lgkgde,


    It's rough. Hang in there & embrace the scalp! I still have stubble, so this morning I took some homemade patchouli soap & rubbed it over my head & omg set the soap down & saw tiny little stubs of hairs everywhere!


    Hubby came in & commented how awful it would be if I still had long hair. Imagine 10" strands everywhere!?

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  • VintageGal1111
    VintageGal1111 Member Posts: 705
    edited October 2013


    Hi schoolCouncelor,


    I love what you wrote! Warrior is such a noble word, & what you said makes me feel stronger! Thanks

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  • wrenn
    wrenn Member Posts: 2,707
    edited October 2013


    Thank you again to the great "warriors" here. I apologize for dumping last night. I think it was my worst night. Today I am being pro-active (i.e. took ativan haha) and have made an appointment with a new family doctor. I am feeling more hopeful just by shedding some of the people I associate with the mess I am in. I am going to go back and read what I missed in my muddle and am really hoping everyone is ok this week. I worry about all of you and wish you comfort.

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  • lonnie713
    lonnie713 Member Posts: 236
    edited October 2013


    Hi all,


    I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my left breast on September 5th. I chose to have a bi-lateral mastectomy. I had the surgery on the 26th of September with expanders. So far, everything is good, minusnot being able to sleep and back pain from the expanders. I start chemo on October 31st. I will be on the AC-T regimen. My oncologist said that he will prescibe emend to control the queasiness/vomiting. Has anyone on here been on the AC-T regimen, if so, did you get a steroid with it? Which one? Was it oral or IV or both? Were you prescribed emend?


    Thanks

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  • gia444
    gia444 Member Posts: 68
    edited October 2013


    Thank you SpecialK for the kind words. oconnor2450, we can have a pity party in the middle of the night. lol.....


    All you ladies are such an inspiration. You give me strength reading your posts.


    Lonnie713, I don't start chemo until Oct 23 so I can't answer your questions... I have been prescribed Emend... I will be taking AC....

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