October 2013 Chemotherapy

Pam358

Jaybird - and 50% through with AC! Yayyyy

wrenn

yay Jaybird. Counting down. Hope it continues to go well. Things sound not too bad for you now Pam. I love hearing the details about works. Taking notes.

gia444

Good for you Jaybird on feeling good after #2. Hope it stays that way..

wrenn

Someone thought this article would be good for this forum so here you go.

In Defence of Sadness



Those who have cancer are expected to be positive. Positive thinking has become the standard, and those who do not, or cannot, think positive thoughts often feel guilty for not measuring up.



But a diagnosis of cancer is a sad event. The disease brings loss, even for those who are cured. People who have cancer lose parts of the body. The cancer or its treatment may make them ill. They lose not only thier health, but also a sense of well-being and security about the future. Some even find that former friends disappear, unable themselves to face the losses.



Those who pretend to others and to themselves that everything is fine do so at a cost. False cheerfulness takes energy, at a time when they may have little to spare. Emotional dishonesty keeps others at a distance.



We live in a culture that does not acknowledge sadness as part of life, that considers it evidence of weakness or moral failing. Sadness is unwelcome, a social barrier that makes others uncomfortable. When people with cancer pretend to be cheerful they may make it easier on their family and friends, and health professionals, by not requiring them to face their own grief.



Sadness is not depression. Major depression can take the form of despair, a bleak outlook that colours everything. It can be obsessive rumination, paralyzing guilt, or an inability to face the day and accomplish what needs to be done. Depression is a legitimate disorder that deserves to be treated.



But Sadness is part of living. We are sad because life does not match our dreams, because we lose what we love and we lose what we need, because others let us down. Because our own bodies let us down.



People with cancer usually try to return to the person they once were, but most will be changed in some way. Those who allow themselves to be sad can recognize the losses and grieve for them. When they can admit that the old life and the old self are gone and find the strength to let them go they can create a new self to respond to the new situation. Some gain a new perspective. They may see life differently than they saw it before.



Those who want to be supportive of someone with cancer can do so by allowing them to be real, to feel what they feel. Those with cancer need someone to cry with, someone who is comfortable with the sadness. When they can count the losses they can grieve for what is gone and can move on to the next chapter of their lives.





by: Karen Ritchie M.D.

JenSF

Hi Wrenn, totally totally agree. Thank you for sharing the article. Sad does not equal depression!

My daughter (9) was in tears last nite saying that she was afraid I would not be my own self again. First time she cried since she learnt my dx before my surgery. She had been responded well since my dx and we told her candidly what I had from the beginning. Last nite, I reassured her that I will get back to my own self and be even better! She calmed down and went to sleep.......After I left her room, my heart sank.....

Rest of the time, I remain positive. Ready for my 1st TC tomorrow! Anyone's program on Thursday? : ) I cant stress enough how much blessing I have to have found this group! It's my laugh, my cry and my resourceful info! Hugs!! Jen

naiviv

Hello all, I hope you are feeling better.

I took the plunge and chopped off hair. Coloring it now.

PS removed drain but left stitches for next week.

Busy next few days Friday chemo class, Mon LE PT , Tue Muga, Wed Port, Thur LE PT and Pre chemo appt anf Fri is D-day.

gia444

Thank you for the article Wren.... That is so true. A big difference between Sadness & Depression...

TeamKim

Thanks for the article, Wrenn -- so very true. I think I feel blindsided by the sadness sometimes because I expect myself to keep positive at all times -- the release of the sadness is actually healthy.

Nicole -- thinking of you and hoping all goes well with your first tx. We are here for you.

Bigs hugs to all who have infusions this week -- sending calming thoughts and hugs!

kcat2013

Hi ladies, I found out today that I'll be starting chemo on the 25th. I wasn't expecting to do chemo but my oncotype came back at 54. So MO said chemo is a must I'm pretty terrified and not sure how I'm going to fit schooling into all this because I homeschool my kids. Anyway, I'm going to read the rest of the thread to see how things have been going for those who have already begun treatment.

Pam358

Wrenn - thanks for posting the article, I think it's a very important message!

Jen - best of luck with your 1st treatment, you got this!

Naiviv - congrats on getting the drains out!

Kcat - welcome! Sorry you have to be here but we hope you find the support you need.

naiviv

KCat,

Hi, looks like we shall be starting on the same day. Do you know what you'll be receiving ?

There are a couple of other Friday ladies here, look at their posts so you can see how their side effects go, but remember we are all different in how we respond and hopefully you'll sail through.

How old are your children? Mine are 9,12 and 20.

Take care,

Vivian

TeamKim

Welcome kcat! I am sorry you have to go through this, but you have found your way to a group of supportive new friends. What is your chemo regimen (drugs/number of infusions and interval between)? Remember as you are reading (and you will see this in many places) that we are all different. Different in about every way. We are here to support you and don't hesitate to ask questions, vent, laugh and cry with us..... (((Hugs)))

MsJean63

Thanks for the sadness article.  I got into bed crying last night and I saw the article, but wasn't able to read it I was so upset.  I'm not emotional by nature, but have been sad by this whole process.  I scold myself for the negative thoughts that creep in, everyone thinks you need to stay strong, stay positive, but some days you just can't and that's OK too.

Headeast

Hello friends!

The article about sadness was objective and very true. Thank you for sharing it.

I finally started losing some hair, today is day 16 of my first TC treatment and was wondering why it was still there. Every day I check on the hair right after I wake up. I guess it is one less thing to be worried about.

I also got a rash yesterday. All by back, my neck and part of my face was red and itchy. My MO told me it was a reaction of the Taxotere and that it would disappear by itself. To take two Benadryls every four hours to feel less itchy. He did not want to prescribe me steroids, which I agree. I have taken steroids only for one day after the chemo treatment but felt like a huge pumpkin. I woke up with no rash, just in the neck.

This chemo is full of surprises. One day at a time and a week away from my second treatment...

VintageGal1111

Is there any one here who's treatment will go for a full year?

I think one or two gals were close to my schedule of A&C every other week for 2 months....& then T&H for 3 months? Or maybe not the Heceptin, which I have to continue for 9 months after that which brings it up to a year.

Probably a mastectomy somewhere in there since MO doesn't feel the August lumpectomy (& lymph node removal) was sufficient. Radiation....not even going there yet!

I go for my third infusion next Tuesday. So really I've just begun in some ways. This last one kicked my butt and I have been very UP through all this til now. I guess it is looking down this loooong road, through a long cold NH Winter coming up that is getting to me.

Thanks for being here!

SpecialK

vintage - if it makes you feel better I was originally diagnosed on 9/27/10, had five surgeries and finished chemo by June of 2011, continued Herceptin until Jan of 2012, during which I had another surgery, exchanged in Feb of 2012, and had fat grafting in Dec of 2012. The BMX and ALND/chemo/Herceptin portion lasted 15 months, so I understand what it is like looking down that long tunnel. I just passed the three year mark since diagnosis and still need another revision surgery - this is definitely a process. Many of us over on the TCH and basically all of us on the Triple Positive threads have gone for at least a year of active treatment, if not more.

travlmom

Good morning ladies

For the first time since Monday I feel 90% human. Yesterday I met with my secondary MO who is overseeing the Neulasta and Herceptin part of my protocol. I could not even hold my head up to talk to him. He was unbelievably kind. He told me this is no place for heros - speak up if you are having side effects that concern you and take the pain meds as soon as needed and stay on track. I am taking this first infusion as the walk through (hell) and will adjust my meds next time. He is trying to get Zolfran approved for the next treatment because of my SE of the Compazine - mask feeling on my face. My primary MO though still does not want me taking any tylenol for low pain levels but the secondary says it is ok as long as you do not have a fever before taking it.

When I went into the infusion room for my #2 Herceptin - they gave me a bed - I must have really looked like death! After some Zolfran, saline and benedryl - I got my color back. I felt 60% better all day yesterday and finally slept all night long. Off to rest again today. Thinking of everyone today and that your today is better than yesterday as well.

Jaybird26

Good morning,

 I don't want to jinx myself but I feel good today after the second chemo.  No nausea or headache today.  Leaving soon for the neulasta injection.  My thoughts and prayers are with all of you.  I hope that everyone is hav

lgkgde13

day 2 post 2nd AC and I am completely wiped....going to have my head shaved by hubby tonight. I can't take this hair falling out anymore. Today in the shower was the topper since so much came out.

Any suggestions for drinking water? I am so done with it. It makes sick . I tried the lemons but doesn't help. What should i try?

SpecialK

I drank half Gatorade and half water - used one of the clear ones, not the orange, purple or red. Also, Italian lemonade cut with water tasted good. Or a mixture of Sprite and juice. Remember that all liquids count, so full-strength juice, soup are good too.

Macy187833

hi ladies! Hope Thursday finds everyone doing well!

I could really relate to the article about being sad. Thanks for posting it! I, too, hear about being positive and strong but this is a sad, scary thing. I try not to wallow but still.

Vintage, I can relate about the gloomy upcoming winter. We have that here too. I try to look at it this way, I'm glad I will be wasting the winter months feeling down and out instead of it being beautiful outside and me not being able to enjoy it because I feel so horrible. At least that is what I think will work for me!

Trvlmom, hope you feel better soon! It sounds like you have a great team of oncologists in your corner!

((Hugs)) to all!

JennH8

Hi everyone! I started chemo on Monday. It went much better than expected. I was so glad. Tuesday I felt pretty tired but otherwise ok and recieved my Neulasta shot. Yesterday and today feeling run down and a little shaky. My scalp is a little tender. It feels similar to how it feels when you take a ponytail out of your hair that you've had in all day. All I keep thinking is that my hair follicles are dying. My muscles in my chest and upper arms are sore today as well. Oh, I did have a weird reaction from the steroids they're having me take with chemo. My cheeks flushed and my chest turned bright red and warm. It looked like I had a sunburn. Anyone else have a reaction like that? Overall though, the experience is better than expected. I'm wondering now if they'll all go this way or if the side effects get worse as treatment goes on.

SpecialK

jennh - your redness is from the steroids and usually last 24-48 hours, I had this each time. I actually needed a cortisone injection into my knee in the spring and had this happen again, but even more pronounced!

Macy187833

Jenn, yes! I had a reaction like that. My nose turned red and my chest looked like I had a sunburn. It was the following day after chemo and then it went away. I thought that the redness on my chest was from the port I had also just had placed but maybe it was the steroids. Hmm, hadn't considered that. Are your symptoms going away?

mfm48

Wrenn - thank for posting that article on sadness. This whole thing makes me sad - I am no longer the healthy, vibrant person I was in my eyes or my family and friends' eyes. Stinks. That being said, it is important to stay focused on the goal which is to obliterate every last lingering cancer cell, in my case, or to shrink those tumors in other cases, and gain valuable living time which we will have after all this treatment is done.

Kcat for what its worth, my Oncotype score was really low my first time in 2009 (16) and I thought I'd escaped chemo and radiation. Ha. It recurred in the reconstructed breast just this summer and that Oncotype was also low (14). I wonder if I had just done it all in 2010 if it never would have recurred. Who knows. But what we do know is that this poison is proven to kill the cancer and so many women have gotten through it and made it an unpleasant memory. I hope that is the story for all of us.

For those of you just starting the process, my SE's the second time were better than the first but I think that was just more effective pain management. And drink, drink, drink! Also, my nurse encouraged me to drink Gatorade also for the fatigue. Everyone is different, hard to know how it will affect you. Don't be scared. Just give yourself permission to rest. And yes, to be sad

Pam358

Travlmom- it must be difficult sometimes when you get conflicting medical advice (Tylenol) it is interesting though how as patients we are different and our medical professionals are different too. There is a bunch of gray area that "just depends".

Jaybird - no jinx, it's just rejoicing in the moment

SpecialK - you sure have been through a lot, it's inspiring to see you doing so well.

Lgk - good luck with the head shave! As for water suggestions for me on the days when it's difficult to get in the water, making sure I used ice helped. Cold water tastes better to me so I even rotate reusable bottles in the frig. I also used some ginger ale on days it was tougher to get as much water in.

Macy -I agree wasting winter on treatment is better than the warmer months.

VintageGal1111

Wow SpecialK that is a very long road to travel!

Maybe it is bugging me because I hear well meaning acquaintances say " so n so had breast cancer & it wasn't a big deal & they did great". I try not to say much but do let them know there's many kinds of breast cancer, stages & treatments. My MO said "treatment will be a year of your life" But in the big picture, it is worth it!!!

Thank you!

VintageGal1111

I had the facial flushing, second day after chemo. Thought I was back 12 years ago going through meno! Phew! I read it was a steroid SE so wasn't surprised.

marchmay67

Hello

JenSF- all the best today with your first treatment you will be fine and you have a very brave daughter.

I have a 21 year daughter who is my right arm through all this I couldn't of done it without her, she is my best friend and we have our moments of strength and we have our moments of sadness were we cry but we know we will get through this together.

JennHB yes I had the face and next flushing after my chemo it was usually worse for me in the mornings when I wake up and subsided as the day went on. Not sure if it has to do with me being pre menopausal or not?

I am on Day 7 and starting to slowing feel better aches and pains are not as bad from the Neulasta shot but my energy is still really low. Having a hard time with the bad taste in mouth seem to be brushing my teeth a lot but it doesn't do much any suggestions on what I can take. I try to drink lots of fluids and coffee and tea just taste yucky right now. I check my hair every morning still have it all but scalp is getting itchy once it falls out I will be having it shaved off.

Have a good day today all !

gia444

Hello all you brave women.

marchmay I have a daughter that is a big support to me as well. She is a nurse and specializes in cancer patients. I don't know what I would do without her. She will be with me when I start chemo next week.

Hugs to everyone...