The Hermit Club

Markat, your soft fuzzy side is showing and we love it.

Cami, we love your stories and your humour.  It is nice to see that your grand son is obviously so well raised.  Nice in this day and age of a lot of self centred kids.  MK's girls sound like the perfect match.

Blondie take care of yourself ... some times during treatment you need to be selfish.

Laurie - don't feel at all guilty for being upset that you are a member of this sorority - none of us want to be here - but here we are and we all understand the roller coaster this _________ disease puts us through - and our loved ones.  Your husband is probably so scared that he doesn't know how to express it.  Have you told him how that makes you feel.  Not when you are angry but when you are calm?  Maybe that would help???? I hope so - you deserve better than that.

I had a CT scan Tuesday - a follow up to a very small nodule that was found in my right lung in October. Yesterday the dr called me to tell me that the nodule in my right lung hadn't changed....but (isn't there always) a 4 mm "ground glass" nodule was seen in my left lung. I am being referred to a pulmonary dr and will see him on Monday.  She said that if it weren't for my history it wouldn't be looked at - but... here I am - another scare - ughhhhhhhhh - just when I was getting used to being with what I have - something else to worry about! Damn!

Thank you for being there for me.  I admire you all - we are tough cookies.

Marilyn

Laurie - I know how you feel and often feel the same because my situation doesn't seem as serious or scary as many other women on the forums here.  I hardly ever visit the stage 3 forums because I just don't feel like I have anything in common with them since I am stage 3 simply because of skin involvement instead of having positive nodes like so many stage 3 women have.

I also feel a bit out of place at times even here since I don't have any children to share stories about (although I do like reading the stories).  I guess we are all coming from totally different situations and mainly just have this one scary thing that we all have in common and wish we didn't have.

I'm doing well.  I haven't heard back from the MRI place.  I called them on Monday and they said they'd call me back when they got the paperwork from my HMO.  No rush, I say.

Laurie, of course you are grateful your diagnosis is not worse, I think we all are at some point no matter where we are.  BUT that doesn't change the fact that your innocence has been taken away, you may not have to worry about mets, but you are now high risk and will always worry about it coming back.  Worry is Worry ... no competition around here.  Also, you are facing tests and treatment and none is ever easy.  As someone once said, if it were his man parts with "non-life threatening" cancer and they wanted to squash them, test them, do surgery on them, nuke them ... I am sure he would be worried.   Although his comments may be insensitive or minimalizing, he is probably just scared to death or like the rest of us he wants it to be a bad dream that just goes away.  (((HUGS))) 

Awww.   Thank you!

Ladies, thank you all for your responses.  As usual, just what I needed to hear.  MRI is a few hours. I think I will watch a DVR'd show in my jammies before I go.

Talk to you soon...

XOXOXOXO

Laurie

Hi ladies,

I had my MRI. I was under the impression that I would be leaving with films and answers.  Apparently, I have to wait. I am so frustrated. They said it would be a few days before I could pick them up as the doctor had to review them against my mammo films.    I don't see the BS again until next Thursday for the results.    

Thanks for your prayers.

Laurie

LaurieParr,

Call BS everyday and ask for the results.   Don't be shy!

curve--happy graduation stories!  Hope you had energy to enjoy!

camille--sweet story... love your grandson.

markat--so glad you are able to be with those kids.  They so need gentle souls surrounding them.  I'll never forget when I substitute taught one time, long ago.  A tiny little girl in first grade had scraggly hair, looked like it had never been combed.  I (foolishly) reached to tuck a strand behind her ear so she could see the paper she was drawing on.  She shrank back instantly, putting her hands up defensively...  She thought I was going to strike her!  (It hit me like a ton of bricks that any child would react that way...  I learned a lot in that moment.)  So--keep loving them every chance you get!  You might say the only kind word they hear that day.

Happy weekend. (Hey, grover--testing is over!  Now we wait for scores.)

Jazzy, FL, blondie, bgirl... thinking of you.  Stars are gorgeous tonight.  (Tornadoes hit about 50 miles away, so am feeling grateful and happy to see starlight.  No clouds.)

Thanks Camille! I broke down tonight exhausted...couldn't sleep last night. DH went over to help mom with some things because I didn't want to be that person...you know the one crying that the person that is actually sick, has to comfort! That's never good. We talked on the phone for about an hour and I feel like I've got my head back on straight She's coming over tomorrow night to stay with us so that will be fun. She's such a good grandma (nana). She keeps saying that she wants to put her biopsy off a week so she can go to my 8yo's First Communion next week and not feel bad I was the one going through it last year for my 9yo's First Communion, so she's afraid we are scarring the girls' memories of their sacraments, lol! Typical Catholic guilt I'm going to call our MO (we have the same one) Monday to see if it's ok to wait. I don't want her to, but she won't listen to me.



Thanks Skittle. They are all so precious. My coworkers really think I'm nuts though. But its easy for me to think they're all so great- I only see them 20 mins I still won't talk to the teacher that tried to refuse that boy lunch. I think she knows why too, lol. Life's too short... I guess I should remember that too!



Hugs and love

Jazzy,Camille, and ladies,

Thank you all. My friends and clients have been asking me how I am doing (and how my husband is doing) and I just tell them that it is a new journey that we are all trying to navigate through.  I also tell them that I found all of you and that it has been a Godsend for me.   You should see the relief on their faces when they hear what support I have because of all of you.

On a lighter note...I am trying to learn the abbreviations...what does DH mean?  H means husband, but what does the D mean? 

Love to you all.

Laurie

Dear!

Click on (All Topics)   Forum: Information and resources for new patients, and new members   Topic: Discussion Board Abbreviation Key.

cvmarilyn,

Spring fever!!

Dear Skittle,

The tears in my eyes after reading your post will hopefully tell you how much your words mean.  As usual, my fellow hermits "get it".  Thank you for your advice and love.  I will plod on.

Before I read your post, I found a song that seems to be our (all BC ladies) anthem. I sent it to my husband in email with a note telling him that I know he is lost and scared and doesn't know what to say or do, but if he would just PLEASE  listen to the entire song, that it would give him the answers on "what to do" for me.  The song is "I'm Gonna Love You Through It" by Martina McBride. No surprise to you all of you I am sure.    I wasn't sure if he would listen to it or respond to me. I felt that maybe he would just keep it in his heart and not say anything.  Guess what?  He responded to the email with this...."That is a beautiful song.  I will be there for you. I love you." 

My heart sang with joy.  He then came out for his coffee and gave me a long hug.       I am very blessed to have my daughter and son (who are very sensitive souls) be there for me as well.  As morning sick as my daughter is, she checks on me EVERY day.  My 15 year old baseball boy (who has gone through a dye MRI due for his pitching arm) wanted to compare notes on the procedure.  (He had three needles as I only had one.)     

I am blessed beyond belief with all of them and all of you.  Wishing you a beautiful day......

XOXOXOXOXO

Laurie

Long time, no read or post, fellow hermits!



Markat, I'm so sorry about your mom! I know it's hard on both of you, facing this and trying to support one another. Glad your DH is able to hep. Are there other relatives who can help you help her? You need to stay as healthy as possible...



Laurie, congrats on grandbaby (and on your husband's "progress"). Cancer teaches everyone involved unexpected lessons!



Skittle, tests are almost never over in MD..

my 8th grade son just took science state assessment last week, and still has algebra exam for high school credit coming up! Crazy! Hope you have an easy last term with your "almost 7th graders!"





I may not check back in after weekend. Port going Monday...I had to take a break from site for a bit...been overwhelmed with the practical & emotional prep for chemo, which starts Tuesday. Finally getting prescriptions & recommended items from chemo threads, along with wigs last week, took a toll on me that I was NOT prepared for. Had to withdraw from hermitage to visit sisters 2 1/2 hrs. away...they scheduled haircuts for all 3 of together...they went very short along with me in support. Very sweet, esp. for youngest, who donated 10"! They look cute...I don't like mine much, but that prob. means it was a good idea to get this shortening started! This is getting too real & too scary...I thought surgery would have toughened me up, but no... I'm a wuss. I read too much of the chemo thread for my own good, so unless I get desperate for info & can't get hold of a dr. I'm going to try to limit myself to my fellow hermits' thread. Sisters taking me out for dinner & to see a musical tonight, then I'm staying with the one who lives close to the hospital. DH will join me for the "festivities" (ha!) Mon. Keep collective fingers crossed that SE will be minimal:)

Thanks for being "there," wherever your "there" is!