The Hermit Club

whaevah

Beautiful posts Teka

LaurieParr

Awesome Teka. Thank you!

markat

Great quote Teka!



Sending good thoughts and hugs to all.

camillegal

Oh Teka u say so much with few words.

Skittle

Hermits all safe?  Crazy world.  My students all want to talk about the eight year old victim.  They always zero in on whomever they can relate to within a tragedy.  So sad.

Se's everywhere.  Hoping everyone is able to manage...  Thinking of you all.  Be safe.

camillegal

Ok Skittle that really gets to them the most. My GS came to me and asked how could this happen, he was my age and we talked quite a while---I think it's a very fine line what to say. U would know exactly what to say--but in my head I think I want to get accross caution and alwas being alrt but not so much that u can't see beauty around u. It's scary to an adult, how could it not be for a child.

blondiex46

thanks Cam I am, but tired it was so informational....can't wait til next year...

sorry Jazzy.....{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

beautiful flowers, love them!!!

me too...turned it over, they were looping, it was making me dizzy

LaurieParr

Hi ladies....Skittle, how very difficult.  My daughter is an adult, so she understands...my son however cant see to grasp it. Boston is his favorite city in the entire universe (his whole room is Redsox) and I can see that he doesn't know how to react.  I told him just to pray for everyone. 

I hope you are all happy and peaceful today.  I found out that my MRI results are ready for me to pick up today. You can be sure that I am going to frantically rip open that packet AS soon as I get into the car.   I will be relieved to finally have more answers.  I know your hearts are all with me. I will post later today or tomorrow after I see the BS.  

Love to you all,

Laurie

LaurieParr

Hi ladies....Skittle, how very difficult.  My daughter is an adult, so she understands...my son however cant see to grasp it. Boston is his favorite city in the entire universe (his whole room is Redsox) and I can see that he doesn't know how to react.  I told him just to pray for everyone. 

I hope you are all happy and peaceful today.  I found out that my MRI results are ready for me to pick up today. You can be sure that I am going to frantically rip open that packet AS soon as I get into the car.   I will be relieved to finally have more answers.  I know your hearts are all with me. I will post later today or tomorrow after I see the BS.  

Love to you all,

Laurie

camillegal

Laurie we want to hear everything.

LaurieParr

Camille...hugs and love to you. Thank you.

Ladies...Ok...I believe it is good news if I am understanding the MRI report correctly.  Here is what it says:

Right Breast: Biopsy changes of the upper outer right breast with associated small seroma or hemotoma 9mm.  Low signal focus centrally probably represents a biopsy clip. There is only minimal, wispy linear adjacent enhancement superior to the biopsy cavity. This is located within 2 cm of the superior margin of the clip.

There is no discrete mass or suspicious enhancement elsewhere with the breast to suggest multicnetric disease. However, in situ malignancy may not exhibit significant enhancement as evidenced by the minimal enhancement seen associated with the biopsy changes.  The breast consists of scattered fibroglandular elements. No parenchymal enhancement elsewhere. No morphologically abnormal lymph nodes..

Impression:  Biopsy changes along the outer breast. There is no evidence to suggest multicentric or contralateral disease. However, in situ may not exhitbit significant enhancement on MRI. Continued mammographic followup recommended.

BIRADS : 6, knowsn proven malignancy, right 2; 2 benign, left.

The only thing that I was confused about was the last line that says "right; 2". Does that mean there is another spot other than the known DCIS?

ANY help with interpreting this report would be appreciated. I couldn't wait get home to share this with all of you. Thank you for helping me. I see the BS tomorrow am.

XOXOXO

Laurie

markat

Laurie I'm confused by that also. Maybe there were some dense areas on the left they were looking at? Not sure.



My brain is fried. Had mom's biopsy today. Had the meanest nurse I've ever encountered in my history of nurses and hospitals. I started crying and basically fired her and found another nurse (absolutely wonderful) to take care of mom after biopsy in recovery area. We were there 4 hours after because nurse 1 didn't put an order in correctly. My uncle is with her now while I get some things caught up on at home. Looking forward to seeing our MO tomorrow and getting tx started so she will feel better! I love her so much.



Hugs to all. Skittle I've been trying to shelter my kids from the continuous coverage.

LaurieParr

Markat,

Taking the time to respond to me with all that you have going on just touches my heart. Thank you.

My prayers continue to be with you and your mama.  Thank you so much for keeping us updated. I will continue to be there for all of you through every life journey you chose to share.

Hugs and love,

Laurie

bgirl

Laurie, sounds pretty good, from what I know from the 3 mri s I have had.  Good luck tomorrow.

Markat , think of you and your mom often.  Why is it med people either seem to be terrific or awful ... no inbetween?  Some people shouldn't be in the "caring" field. 

Hope everyone else is having a good week.  Treatments going well and getting some rest.

Jazzygirl

Hi ladies: Busy week at work, started with the personal trainer too (so far so good).

Markat- I had a nurse when I was in the hospital last year for abdominal surgery that I fondly referred to as Nurse Rachet. The nurses would come in to give you that shot in the stomach at night for blood clots and most would pinch the skin to deliver the shot, she plunged it into my stomach! I am constantly reminded not everyone who works in healthcare is nice. I am sorry that nurse was mean to your mom and glad you fired her.

Teka- love the crocuses! Love the photo!

Laurie- your MRI report sounds good, nothing on the other side. Can you ask someone about that section you need clarity on? 

Cami- you are always filled with such kind and supportive words for us all.

Skittle, Blondie, FLWarrior, B girl, Grover, Whaeva, Lily, and everyone else, hope you are hanging in there!

I am doing better since monday. My friends double loss touched upon my own from the loss of my mother and my aunt (her sister) two months apart last year. I am in the zone now with the year anniversary of both of their deaths and it is very much on my mind. So my friends loss sort of threw me back into my own grief again on monday. 

I decided to detach from the whole marathon bombing thing but saying prayers for the lost lives, people injured and all those who have been traumatized by this. I just cannot handle watching the news about it.

markat

Thank you ladies You are all so wonderful!



Jazzy, mom kept whispering Nurse Ratchett when the horrible nurse would walk out of the room, lol. I'm so sorry about your loss



I've decided to put off going back to school until...well, until I can. I'm spreading myself very thin right now. Do you ever feel like you have so many roles and jobs and that you aren't doing any of them very well? That's where I'm at right now.



Sending all peaceful thoughts and gentle hugs!

camillegal

Laurie, I'm glad these grils are availbe to u for advise--Ive never read anything and don't understand one word of u'r report, so that's why I'm glad they are there for u.

Markat of course it's rime to run into a nirse from hell, but for u'r mom its not acceptable. And I know u'r spreadig u'rself thin right now, OK so u put off the school for a while, and concentrate on u'r mom and family and work too. Geeze But do me a huge favor take care of u'rself along the way. U'r mom would not like it one bit uf u get to overwelmed and u know that. So give u'rself u'r time sometime so u can recharge, And of course tell us everything about u'r mom.

Jane I'm glad u'r treatments are so doable but rest and drink alot of water--Loads as I say. Rest whenever u can.

Jazzy sometimes we think back and it's sad, what we lost and the time went so fast. allow u'rself u'r sad time, why not.

It's Friday eve everyone so most Mon-to Frid peeps are looking forward to the weekend--I still do cuz Joey's home from school--that's my bonus. So have a good day, and rest, relax or work whatever u need to do but always be good to ur'selves, u al deserve it.

camillegal

P.S. We had so much rain during the nite alot of expressways are closed and no school for Joey things are flooded??????????

Jazzygirl

Hi Cami- wow, lots of rain your way? Joey is home from school, your buddy!

It got very cold here and hard freeze warnings. Brought my potted plants inside, and covered what I could not bring in from outside. Worried about my tender new trees that are budding out right now.

Markat- I feel like I do alot all the time and don't do much of anything very well. I think it is the lot of women in this world as we wear many hats, caring for husbands and children, our jobs, homes, etc. I have tried to just spend my time on what I really must do- things for my health, my work, my home, and my relationships. You have a lot on your plate and now school too (which is great) so you take care of you too.

And thanks to those who hear my grief. So much happened at once in my family and in my own world last year. I ended up putting a lot of my grief "on hold" with my own health problems, but feel some of it returning. And that is okay too, learned long ago that grief has it's own process and works its way through you. My mom and aunt lived good full lives and I am grateful for that. It was just a shock to loose both so close together (we expected my mom's passing but my aunt went very suddenly). Despite that, I am trying to be there for my friends who have lost loved ones recently too.

If I have learned anything this past year with all I have gone through (including bc) it is not to take anything (or anyone) for granted and live each day to the fullest! 

For those working this week, two more days to go!

lwood

Hi Sissydi,

Yes!!! I am in that hermit place as I type. Sometimes, I get out but  more often than not, I don't go anywhere because no one gets it. I don't want people staring if i go without a wig and just wear a hat so I haven't gotten to the point of wearing a hat yet. I am 7 weeks post chemo and My hair isn't grwoing in the best. How depressing is it that one has to think about hiar loss and then when time to grow back comes in, it comes in sloooooow. It's just better to avoid the social scene because everyone wants to know and want s to tell you a story of someone they know and ectt...

Teka

Welcome!  

Really not important that no one gets it, just get out and refuse to discuss BC. 

LaurieParr

Hi Ladies,

Ok, so the verdict is in.  The MRI showed no more obvious cancer and I will be having a Lumpectomy/Sentinal Lymph Node Dis (right) the end of May. He is also going to remove the 6 cm biopsy hematoma (It was my choice to wait until May due to my schedule.)  The doctor said that he was going to do shots of radiation in the breast right before the surgery. He also said that he was going to be inserting a wire? in the breast.....I am uneducated about that. He said something about a nuclear test before the surgery too. Then he said the Oncologist would talk to me about Arimidex or Tamoxifen.   I know I have to wait for the pathology results before we get into all that.

He said he will be going through the pectorial muscle. Of course he made it sound like a "nothing" surgery, but as a hairstylist, I know what I am in for with recovery. The biopsy alone bothered me for over two weeks.  I am coordinating my surgery with a vacation that I have, so I will have 3 weeks at home and then 3 weeks of vacation.  I am anticipating that this will be enough (pending clean margins) time prior to going back to work.

ANY comments or advice about any of it is welcomed.

Thinking of you all and praying that you are safe, warm and at peace,

Laurie

LaurieParr

Oh.,,,,I am off to my son's baseball game, so I may not be able to respond until tomorrow.

Skittle

markat--prayers continue your way.  I hope you and your mom can work together toward feeling better and getting past the "hard parts."  wish there were something we all could do to lighten your load somehow.  I'm glad you shelter your little people.  When my sixth graders pour in each morning, they are all about wanting to talk about the news and what they've heard.  One had a stepdad in the Texas explosion.  It just floors me, all they are exposed to.  But it seems no one at home listens... and they just are hungry to be heard and taken seriously.  (One wants to start a fund to help purchase prosthetics for the injured...  caring.)

Jazzy--you've been through so much and stay so busy.  hugs your way...  I know what you mean about grief on hold.  I still have not allowed myself to process some losses.  And the heck of it is, they keep on coming!  (DH lost a good friend last night.  Series of strokes. End of an era.)

Laurie--your son will come to grips with the mess in Boston.  He's at that perfect age to reason out the rights and wrongs and grow toward manhood understanding we all feel helpless sometimes, yet keep our heads and hearts hopeful.  We love and continue to love, no matter what others choose...  (42 was wonderful.) He can fall back on his love of the game, and internalize that the horror was the choice of a sick mind, not of someone to admire--like his loving mom.      I don't speak mri, so am no help at all.  Once, though, they were tossing numbers about, and I asked...  They were talking positioning on the breast (like 3:20 meant location of tumor)...  To hear it all was intimidating.

lwood--sorry you find yourself here, but you've found the right place.

teka--thank you for the well-timed bouquet for us all.  Pretty, peaceful, centering.

Cold, cold rain today.  Seems like the world is crying.

Be safe, sweet hermits. 

camillegal

Oh Laurie have fun now--I really don't know about a lumpectomy--but u sound determined so it WILL work out the way u want.

lwood--u'r in the same pace as almost everyone has een, but we made it known big time--so don't feel alone at all. Well actually we do want to be alone but thst wil slowlu leave. Most os us have gone back into our world but I've retired so I do my choosing when I won't to go out and see people--it just depends on the day for me. But we all get it here so come and rant, vent or be happy whatever u want we're with u.

camillegal

Markar I hope u and u'r Mom are doing OK---U know how we all care

And Skittle u'r right (I think) there are so many horrific things thrown a the kids these days, I think parents have a lot more talking to their kids--I do understand eeryone is working and it's more difficult to have the time, but talking and trying to enlighten them without scaring the shit out of them has to be done now a days. And personally I think it's very hard. Les and I talk together about how to talk to Joey and we pretty much agree on most things and we keep it alike and he trusts us. But I see his awareness of all these things and how sad it makes him so we talk alot. When he chooses too for the most part. But sometimes I ask if anything is wrong and he opens up pretty well and we talk. I don't know if I'm saying the right things, cuz I don't understand all this awful stuff, but I try.

So all of u u have to have children all day it is one of the most difficult jobs that there is and u guys seem to get it right.

Jazzygirl

Hermits- oh boy, I am watching Hannibal for the first time. I know a couple of you have talked about it previously. 

Lwood-welcome. We hermits are a safe place for you to share and we get it. In a world that often does not. I know the hair thing is hard, I did not have chemo but my sister did and is now just at the point where she can go wigless with a super short hair cut. 

And Teka is right, sometimes you just have to do what you want to do and sometimes make the choice not discuss anything around your BC. Once you create that boundary, most people will just stop asking questions. 

Laurie- wondering about the shots of radiation thing? There are two basic types of radiation- external with the beam and internal (like I had). Sometimes the do a big of internal with surgery, sounds like that is what you may be having. Lumpectomy surgery was not bad for me, I had one on each side. The closer to the nipple area, the more pain you may have because of the nerves there. My scars have healed up nicely. What bothered me more were the sentinental node biospy incisions. You will get through this just fine.

Skittle- yes, I stay busy, too busy but I live alone so spending too much idle time does not do me good. Trying to still strike a good balance with work, and the rest. 

Going to a memorial service tomorrow afternoon for one friend's loss, sat afternoon for the others.

The West seems to be getting a big blast of winter again with cold temps and lots of snow north of here in CO.

LaurieParr

Dear Skittle,

So beautifully said...thank you. My son seems to be handling things well. They won 13-0 tonight! It was a lovely, calm night at the field and I needed that down time. I hugged everyone and then sat by myself to have my "hermit" time. I talked about the BC all day to my friends and clients, trying to update them of my time off.  None of our baseball friends know about the BC.  I don't know when or if I will go public. As you said, people really don't understand. I am so drained by the end of the day.

 Thank you Miss Camille. I truly appreciate it. XOXO  Jazzy and Markat....XOXOXOXOXO

I found a thread for Lumpectomy's and they answered my questions. I feel as if I can sleep now. I am SUCH a planner and it has been hard to not know what is going to happen.

Sleep well my hermits,

Laurie

camillegal

Jazzy I'm sorry for all this that u are going thru now and u memories of sadness.  I call that aftershock--I think we tend to do that so we can worry later. Well I do anyway.

Laurie I'm glad u got some answers to u'r questions and u feel better about everything.  See it will bw fine.

curveball

@LaurieParr, I would guess that both the shots of radiation in the breast right before surgery and nuclear test before surgery are describing the preparation for your sentinel node biopsy. A radioactive tracer is injected, then images are taken to see which node the tracer shows up in. I can't tell you about the wire, because there weren't any included in my treatment. And the MO will talk to you about tamoxifen or Arimidex, but you can get some idea which you will be taking based on whether you have gone through menopause yet (Armidex) or not (tamoxifen).

Best wishes for a successful treatment!