In shock

Thank you ladies. I need u in there that's for sure u can all help me push that door shut!!!! I don't see the exterminator until next month she rescheduled. Ughh I can do it tho. Especially now that my treatments are Done crazy day for us tomorrow 1 hockey game and 3 soccer games. Gotta get done sleep its 12:30 am here! Night night girls

Jennie, my hair started to show a couple of weeks post epi, cmf of which I have three more doesnt always cause hair loss    eyelashes there but sparse so bought pack of Eyelure individual false lashes, little clumps of lashes to pad out the others. Didn't feel like full ones but these are great.my eyebrows bit sparse too so use fibre mascara, take most off brush and then very lightly brush over remaining ones, the fibres fill in gaps and then brush thru.My ED said please Mum don't do the brow pencil looks so false so experimented and voila.
Like you taste buds    must admit think the odd flavour coming thru but think they take a while. x

Raehyg, you have just found the only good part of this awful time in your life. BC has no concience and just hits.
The warrior sisters will push, pull, and ((HUG)) you through. The shock WILL subside but just go with the flow right now.
Come on and post anything, get it out there x

Foxey, same to you, sorry about asking were you finished eyes really tired and didnt read your post properly.
I am 66 this year and just glad I got to this age in one piece.did the "what have I done "bit but BC doesnt care, hits where the Bxxxh feels like.
I toyed with the idea of just heading for the exit after the lumpectomy, especially when they said 8 chemo then 25 rads !!
Then took a deep breath, found the sisters and got stuck in.
None of it is particularly pleasant but it IS bearable and the months fly by. 
You look at the youngsters on here with their busy lives and little ones to look after laughing about hair and nails flying off, they are a shining example to us all.
(((HUG))) x

Nihahi, you trouble I don't think so lol. Sorry Alien off again I do give a rye smile when taking out the frozen peas for my risotto's.
Sorry yours not success, think the amount of hot stock makes the difference will pm you one that doesnt fail for me.
Mountains may be a no no go to the meadow instead< we can have a picnic by the stream maybe meatballs and spaghetti ?? 
So dreading tomorrow, wrinkly butt may be sorry he ever came thru our door. DH is lovely but he HAS to find fault with everything and I mean everything lol
On the other hand bet he will be  really sweet and chatty to them instead, just me who got it in the neck instead. Pray for me xx

Traii, nihahi beat me to the garage, what a lovely wifey you are DH hates smell of polish too. When the moaning starts I just say beats some of the smells that issue from you dear and carry on lol.
Hope bloods ok, Kindy is just germ city but you have to see what DS has done because you are his lovely Mum.
My two daughters coming for lunch today while DH at work.
It will be hectic but soooo looking forward to the laughter.
Just get those germs exterminated.
Is this your last one this week ? x

Dakota, thinking of you  (( HUG )) x

Sheryl B  (( HUG )) x

Benny, ok sisters starting to panic about you again. quick post PLEASE x

Carla, Caitlin, hope you are looking after yourselves. x

Bearcub, lesleyanne you too xx

Traii< hope your little prince tucked up safe and sound.
Just made a chocolate teddy blancmange and raspberry jelly butterfly. Sooo excited. DH had to have a moan about them coming, he really can't stand me having any fun lol.
Dreading tom morning really am. He is home about 6pm from work and just know he will be upstairs counting the tiles measuring walls  (AGAIN ) after girls have gone might go and do it myself. He does the" I am man you are stupid woman bit " whenever work done on house Like Dakota I can do a lot more than he knows but once when first married I was painting a door frame. he took brush off me and showed me how to do it properly !! what the fxxk now just don't even offer or do it when he isn't here.
We can get germs in the supermarket or just strolling thru town I used to be paranoid but now just anti bac and hand gel. New steam mop fantastic, floors gleaming DD dropped me in it over the phone. DH went off on one, he hasn't mentioned it to me and it is hidden behind sofa. If it makes my life easier will buy it lol
9pm with you ?? hope DH enjoys fishing and you bin trucks and fireman sam.
Bit of lovely news, Shed man, also cancer sufferer, just became Granddad for first time, Little girl 7lb 13oz, Emily such a sweet old fashioned name. He and his wife are besides themselves with joy. Swear it has got him thru his fight with big C.
Happy times ahead, just dropping cards and pressies and flowers off before my tribe descend.
Will try and post pics, photobucket playing up at mo. xxx

4 am here, insomnia strikes again. I figure I might as well get up, as I cannot stand to lie in bed awake. Edi, sounds like a wonderful day planned for you. Congrats to the shed man, now a Grandpa. Translation needed again, though. What's a chocolate teddy? Afraid to tell you that on this side of the pond, that would be edible lingerie!!!! Yowser!!!!!! Also, please, the butterfly thing? I feel like a caveman when it comes to what you and Traii create! Looking forward to the risotto for dummies recipe. Does hubby think the tile man is tucking some away in his pockets? Not sure what his issue is???? 

You mentioned awhile ago that your doc wanted you to do chemo and rads? Is that still in the cards for you? I wonder how Websister is doing after her first rad, she hasn't posted since I don't think. 

Traii, hope you kick that cold, sweetie...sure won't help your energy level! Love hearing about the art projects covering your walls. Brings back memories, for sure.

Dakota....thinking of you, maybe that's keeping me from sleeping. Cannot imagine your strength through all this. 

Benny...seriously.....just a shout out would make us all feel better. 

Scottiee...having no energy really makes it tough, have you mentioned this to your docs? Are you eating well enough? Vitamins and all that....we've got to find the magic wand to help you get your feet under you. Life is more than getting through the work day. 

Thanks for the meadow reminder Edi, I think I'll just pop up there for the sunrise....I just realized I haven't done my qigong routine for a few days, think I'll find a nice patch of sunshine and settle in. 

To all those who are sleeping now, pleasant dreams and hope the day brings you peace and smiles. 

Traii, hope you got a good sleep. day went beautifully. GD's little angels. Sat at the table with wine glasses full of Schloer non alco grape juice we told them it was wine and they LOVED it.
Sorry DS was crying for dad, and your toenail omg !! at least you can paint in house if DH is away.
How dare he mess with your craft project, mine interfers when I do my cakes one day he will be wearing one !! That is too big or too small or hands on that figure not quite right ,as you will agree" bugger off noddy" as my Mum used to say lol.
DH is home now and twittering about will catch rest nof you girls when he dozes off. xx

(Traii, have a good day at work. Hope fridge is full lol.

Dakota, that exterminator needs a rocket up her butt.

Nihahi, Sorry the choc teddy was blancmange, ( like a choc custard ) poured into teddy shaped silicone mold.Other one was a sugar free jelly (Jello ) butterfly in another mold.Little monkeys ate the lot and their Mummy's joined in too.Nana finished off the Teddy bear, only an arm left, with some cream yum.
DH doesn't trust anyone, and we have had yet another row about this a few minutes ago. I said just ASK the men why more tiles req, they could have made a mistake. Think he just enjoys the sound of his own voice lol.
Hope you got some sleep, insomnia is horrid.
I am knackered after hectic day but nicely so. was washing my hands and little GD runs up behind me and gives me a HUGE hug, I then stepped back on to her tiny toe, then had to kiss it better of course. Had to laugh as she has feet that smell like pickled onions, no matter how often they are bathed. She giggled like mad, so did I.
I am doing chemo and rads. Have had four Epirubicin, now on second out of four of cmf. Then 25 rads. Holy cow all those bc cells better be well zapped lol.
Mine is hormone neg so had chemo as Tamoxifen no use to me.
Hope you full of beans soon, big hug xx

Eyes closing sisters, love to any not mentioned, need my sleep to face the day with wrinkly butt and DH about to lock horns. Having reflex and reiki tomorrow afternoon sooooo need it xxxx

Hi everybody,

We're back from the weekend, and I enjoyed reading all the posts on here. Also welcome to the new posters - you have found the best place on these boards. Had a lovely time with our soon-to-be-divorced friend at his island home. From his house one can see across the Strait of Georgia all the way to Vancouver, and the view is just spectacular. It was a little rainy, but we went for walks both days. Today he had invited the neighbours over for a brunch, and we had chicken lasagne, Dutch apple pancake with honey joghurt, bacon and spinach salad. I helped a little, but he's a good cook. Food sooooo delicious. Got the okay to go back to the Aquafit tomorrow, because my eye has healed really well. Thanks for the good wishes in that regard. 

It is late, so off to bed. Will come back here tomorrow for a better chat. Sweet dreams everybody!

Edi I know all about 'snapping' at DH...i'm doing it constantly. Tonight was a good night..lol ... was calm, cool and collected...wish I can continue with that !!!

Liefie, welcome back....so glad you had a great time...brunch sounded delicious.

Dakota, hope you had a great day!!!

Well off for my bloods tomorrow.....fingers and toes crossed everyone for me !!

Edi in your pocket for Tuesday. xx

Anyone else have chemo/ rads ?

Websister I really hope youre doing ok and hercepin is keeping you well enough with rads happening.

Benny, hope you are out with your giant plush.

All other sisters, enjoy your day and hope you are all well xx

Lol edi, breath.....!! I think reiki will do you good!! then go to Bingo, or is that tomorrow night !!

Thank goodness you'll have enough tiles, don't want DH to have a melt down moment.....lol

He is so funny, i get scared when DH goes on computer...how do you do this, how do I look for that...argghhhhh.....he's ok with his work computer but mine...oh no,!!!

Enjoy your Reiki...and the meadows!! I'm off to bed soon, having an early one I hope.....!!! xx

Good moring ladies hope all is well hugs and prayers for all.

Scouser, I have not started treatment yet  not sure yet I have some tests on heart friday and put in port, meet again with onocolgist on the 6th, of March. she wrote 3 different types of chemo treatment after heart test we will decide which one I can take. after that I will do 7 weeks of radiation  some pill for a year and then some pill for 5 years. Still scared to death Just trying to take 1 hour at a time.

Thanks everyone for you good wishes and support Paula

Morning Ladies...off to yoga soon but wanted to check in. 

Edi, thanks for the risotto recipe, I'll give it a try and bet it turns out with your help. Now....hmmm..frozen peas....I wonder where I could get some......! I think you and Traii probably do yourself a world of good when you DO let yourself tell off hubby. WAY BETTER than holding it in!!! No doubt they know completely welll that it comes from a place of love. Nothing wrong with ladies speaking up for themselves. (ARE YOU READING THIS DAKOTA?). 

Reiki session, so wonderful I bet.....I have GOT to find myself someone here. My previous Reiki master has moved, she was amazing. Let's defo (my new favorite phrase) meet in the meadow today ladies! Yesterday while walking I realized I was being accompanied by a Bald Eagle.....my "special bird".....I truly believe it helped to silence the alien last night. 

Dakota, gosh, he sounds like a classic manipulator. So glad you have found the strength and determination to give yourself and kids a better life. 

Liefie, Adagio, bet the "island time" was wonderful for both of you. So glad you had the chance to get away. 

Foxey....You may not feel it, but you do sound stronger. Taking the steps forward, little bits at a time is how you get yourself where you need to be. Sending you hugs ((x)). From the news, sounds like your area is getting slammed with snow...pretty, but tough to get around in. Hope you can stay home, safe and warm. 

Websister...just remembered you were off doing the Grandma thing this weekend. Bet you had a wonderful time.

Benny, come on......just one little post so we know you're still with us?????????? Did you go to the gym to start your muscle building and get buried under the mats??? Maybe you've taken off with some muscle-bound young thing and are practicing your moves for a "pose-off" in a glitzy little string thing and a sprayon tan????? WHERE ARE YOU????????????

Gotta run, love you all, have a wonderful day.

Edi, thanks for welcoming me back. Sending DH up to the plumbers with tea and cookies and take the wind of his sails so to speak - he can hardly present them with that, and then immediately proceed to chew them out - what a wise woman you are! I also find that sometimes I have to dance around to smooth things over, mostly with people who come to do work on the house. Exhausting. The other day we had a guy fixing a leak on the roof. He told DH that he would have to come back in summer to remove the moss from the rooftiles, because moss growth considerably shortens the lifespan of the roof. DH's take on it was that the guy is just out to make some money. The roof already has a green hue from the moss, and it's supposed to be black . . . LOL. He just does not trust anybody when it comes to work on the house.

Snapping at DH is something which is happening here too lately. Should take responsibility for it. I do think Tamoxifen has something to do with my short fuse, irritability and impatience. Where I would previously just let something go by without comment, I now often just jump on it, and cause a big argument. Seems my impulse control is slipping -  really have to rein myself in. DH is the only one here, so he's the one who gets it. Not fair at all. He had such a bad experience on Friday. When he opened the door into his clinic after lunch, an irate female patient without an appointment literally stormed him in the waiting room, got into his face, followed him all the way down to his private office at the back, so loud, rude and verbally abusive in front of everybody there. She had worked herself up into a frenzy, and he said he feared she was going to physically attack him. The issue at hand was not DH's fault at all, but she understood no reason, and would have none of that of course. Instead of phoning the RCMP to come and remove her, he sorted our her issue although it was not his responsibility, while the other patients who were there on time had to wait half an hour. He came home later in the afternoon, still visibly shaken and upset. This is the first time in his career that this had happened. Needless to say that he is no longer willing to have her as a patient . . . so unnecessary.

Have to run. See you later!

Just back from a wonderful yoga session. SOOOO good for the shoulders and the soul. Of course, had to catch up on messages before starting some housework. Sounds like we're all getting on with the day. It is just so wonderful to have "met" each of you. 

Dakota...I think people who come from an honest place of trust, kindness, giving and love, are the ones who find it hardest to see the "faults" in others. I think that explains why you feel it has taken you so long to acknowledge the reality of how the cockroach has treated you and your kids. There will be happier days, I have no doubts about that.

OK Ladies, I'm going to pull the "age card" and the "been there, bc card" now. Those of you (with the hearts of gold) who feel regrets for maybe being more blunt or outspoken than you used to be.......cut yourself some slack. None of you are doing the cockroach thing, couldn't if you tried. Speaking from experience....I can tell you it is better at this stage to sometimes just let it OUT! Your hubby's, family, can understand in their own way, that you've got a lot to deal with, that you've been through a lot, and your confidence in the ability to just "let things go" been soundly shaken up. How can it not be, when so many physical and emotional things have changed for you. It's like there you were, both feet on the ground, and suddenly, you're told "you have breast cancer." Whoops....flash, bang, smack.....now you're 1,000 feet above a bottomless pit, standing on a tiny, little tightrope, and somehow you realize you have to make it across to "the other side". AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW, CAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN THIS WAY BEFORE! You've got safety nets, but until you touch them, you don't know that. But when you need them, they'll catch you, maybe stretch a little, but then set you back on the path. We are all each others safety nets, as are your hubby's, families, friends. None of us can ever get across to the safe side, without some slips, slides, and use of the nets. My meaning here is....of course we try to be "good, patient, "normal", whatever", but we can also acknowledge the "hard, scary,journey' we're on, and be real people too, with our moments of "snap, crackle and pop". The surgeries, tx, drugs that we "absorb" are not sweet, gentle "there, there" medicine. They're the big guns, and take a big toll on us. Thank God, cause that helps us survive. I know from my past, that I tried so, so, so hard, not to be a different person, because of my surgeries, chemo, fears, and tears, and it kept those who could have helped me the most, from appreciating the battle I was in, and from realizing how much help I truly needed. Paid the price, big time, a few years later, emotionally and physically. Still working on damage control now, sometimes.

There......off my soapbox.....on with the day. Love to all.

Niha  Wow what a fantastic description of the BC diagnosis !! So so true, thanks for the advice on just letting rip when needed.
You are a wise woman. Been there and got the t.shirt haven't you, and come out the other side to help us newbees.
Glad yoga good we may be going back to ballroom and latin american dancing woop de doo !
We were champions in our youth and DH friend rang before to tell us that our old dance school now has a social night on a Saturday night. Really want to go so will have to be extra nice to DH, to convince him it is a good idea. ha ha.x

Traii, have a wonderful day and fingers crossed for your bloods, sure they will be good.
Glad you got some rain, may help the blackened grass.

DH dropping me off in the morning, then coming back to haunt the plumbers lol.
Will take this stupid n/book and post from there if it works.
Taking a picnic as it will be a long day.
Then three days of staying home in case usual se's kick in, so going to invite dear friend around for lunch of Friday. She has just become a Nan to twins boy and girl. perfect family all in one go.
We need to celebrate.

love and hugs to you all xx

Hello all.....more lurking (I guess I'm basically shy) but I have to tell you all how much I love reading your posts! You women are my heroes, and just doing it one day at a time. Nihahi, your post about BC made me cry ( of course everything makes me cry these days ) it's so spot on. I want to copy it, and print it up on business cards to hand out to people when I'm feeling low, so I won't have to deal with the c**p! Yoga. I MISS yoga....can't wait to get back to it. And Waterton Park WAS on my gameplan last summer, but I forgot my passport! :-(



Dakota, I don't know much about your cockroach situation, but I DO know that you better squash that bug dead.....or it'll come back to "bite", so to speak. :-)



Liefie, I "could" have been your poor DH's patient today....except I'm in the States, and although I would like to scream, am NOT angry at my Drs. Found out today that on top of dealing with a new abdominal incision, I have managed to pick up Bronchitis.....so you can imagine how much fun I'm (not) having.....



Anyway, I am grateful I can come on the board and see how others are doing...somehow the world doesn't seem so scary anymore.



Namaste, and God Bless! Jackie