In shock

Traii

Hi ho, hi ho

I'm waiting for bloods hi ho,

theres lots of people in here.....

hi ho im waiting for bloods hi ho!!



I think all this rain has made me a tad dillusional and I havent had any steriods yet.. lol



Liefie, i had one massage in my life and thought never again ..it hurt so much...lol. I might have to give it another try me thinks!!



Talk after work when most of you will be snoozing. Enjoy your night Edi with DH at work!!

liefie

Dear Moviemaniac,

You have so much to deal with! Can just imagine dealing with bronchitis while you have an abdominal incision. I sincerely hope you don't have a cough on top of it all?! Just be kind to yourself, and rest/sleep when you can. Come here anytime you feel like it. That's what we are here for! Big hugs to you!

Traii, aren't massages supposed to be relaxing? Guess there are different kinds of massage, and we will have to make sure we don't get the hurting kind. We've been hurt enough - lol!

Edi, hope you can convince DH to take you dancing. So you were dance champions? Lovely! Those moves will come back in a flash, and you two will be putting everybody else to shame. Wish I can see that! Here we have Dancing with the Stars on TV. It is a ballroom dancing competition, very entertaining, and I don't miss a single episode. You would just love that. Is it broadcast over there too?

nihahi

OHHHH NOOOO Movie......

Gosh, what next, eh? Can you tolerate holding a pillow against your tummy when you cough?? Might help a bit. Crap what a tough time. I am frantically looking for that magic wand to wave in your direction. Have you got people there to help you out? Tough to get your strength back after surgery when fighting off bronchitis too. Hang in there, the mountains will wait for you. 

nihahi

oops. pushed wrong button.....

Traii...you are adorably crazy! Hang in there. Is this your LAST pre-chemo bloods?? I'm bringing nail polish to your pocket party on Wednesday, just to let you know! 

Edi..I just LOVE the image of you getting back to doing the dancing you and hubby love to do! SHAKE IT BABY!!!! Sassy wig, big earrings, grin on your face. You're still a champion to us!!!! Bet it helps you get some of the missing confidence back too!

Liefie, I love watching "So you think you can Dance"....have you ever seen that? 

caitlin61

Trail, hope your bloods are good to go!



Edi, think it would be wonderful for you and DH to return to the dance floor - hopefully he will agree! BTW, think I'd like to go to your house for lunch - you always have such yummy sounding dishes!



Dakota, hope that you find the strength to stand your ground and that everything works out for the best for you and your kids.



Thanks for your description of dealing with BC, Niaha - captured most elements of what I've experienced so far. Definitely a tight rope walk and can relate to the sensation of being in a pit.



Not feeling stellar today - hope will improve after PT.



Say hello to your Siamese princess, Liefie - how nice to have her keeping you company!



Have a good evening/day everybody!

liefie

Nihahi, yes, I've watched that one too - amazing that people can express themselves like that by dancing.

Caitlin, yes, the Siamese princess is so cute, and never far from my side. Is that your ginger kitty in your avatar? Pretty little thing too!

Well, have to start thinking about dinner. Have fresh porkchops in fridge, so will do something with that. Then apples will come into play; goes so well with pork. The rest I will make up on the fly.

Moviemaniac

Nihahi, I DO have (and have had) lots of help, from both friends and family over the course of my operation and recovery. It's really been a lifesaver........



I do use a small pillow on my abdomen, and it does help. I am more afraid of a repeat of suture job #1....and I am terrified of another infection and a blown-open incision. It 's amazing how we become conditioned to expect certain outcomes! I need to work on being more positive. :-). So looking forward to the magic healing of the mountains....keep waving that wand in my direction!

Namaste, and God Bless to all......

Jackie

Moviemaniac

Liefie, thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Unfortunately for me, I DO have a cough, but my PCP gave me codeine cough medicine, and I have enough Mucinex to choke the lungs out of a bull elephant!



I love Siamese kitties.....always had one growing up. I did not think to make that a requirement of my mate, so of course my DH is not a cat-lover, but a cat-tolerater. So theses days, I am the dog lady. I have two chocolate Labs, and they are my babies , as my last of 4 daughters has left home for distant shores......

Namaste, and God Bless

Jackie

nihahi

Movie....I had some brain disconnect earlier re: your history. I remember now what incredible friends/support you do have. Your worries aren't unreasonable at all, and I think you have a positive attitude, cause you are still "setting your sights" on the future. Our minds sometimes seem so out of our control it's freaky. I have a history of post-op nausea/vomitting and struggle daily with HUGE fear of going through that post-op for my Diep. Hope you're feeling better soon. ((x))

websister

Hi everyone

Sorry to be so quiet for the last several days, life really got busy for a bit.



We had a good trip and great birthday celebration at my son and daughter-in-law's, then saw my son off to Arizona for a week with the grade 9 class where my daughter in law teaches. He goes on this trip every year to oversee and build houses with the kids in areas that need the help, last year it was Mexico. This meant that my daughter in law is a single mom for a week with the three children so we stayed as long as possible yesterday to help out before heading home again.



Today was rads 3, followed by the rads class that I should have had prior to rads last week but Monday was a statutory holiday last week. There were a few things I learned that were helpful. I stopped at a bakery and meat shop and picked up some things then went to the building where the Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation office is. My appt there wasn't until three so I had arranged with a friend who is a psychologist and has an office right next door to have coffee/lunch with him. Turns out he went to a bakery also and bought the most decadent brownies! We had a nice lunch, time flew - I usually let him talk and tell me about his life as so much of the time he is listening to and helping other people with their problems, then I send supper and some treats for his kids home with him.



Traii - hope the blood results were good, I'm going to need some of that toenail polish Nhahi brings to your pockets, my toenails are exiting one by one also.



Edi - I hope you can convince DH to do the dancing, sounds wonderful. In your pockets with the others tomorrow.



Liefie - how terrible for your DH to have that experience at the clinic. Hope your cousin does OK with her first chemo



Dakota - sending strength and hugs



Nihahi - I like what you wrote re: BC - the voice of experience! I also loved that the eagle was following and watching over you. Hope the peas can stay in the freezer for a good long while. I also love So you think you can dance - the choreography is incredible as is the talent



Benny - it's supposed to snow overnight, hope you will be home comfortable and warm with no reason to have to be out in it



Carlads - hope you can find peace and rest in whatever you decide re: 4 or 6 chemo treatments



BTW - did anyone see the 20/20 show last week with Robyn Roberts?

Traii

Nihahi, me adorably crazy...lol crazy....never ....... !

Well got my blood test results back, all good for chemo tomorrow BRING ON the last cycle of chemo!

Girls, will have my pockets on and you in there with pretty bright coloured nail polish !! just don't tickle my toes...lol.

I'm in your pocket Edi.....tea and bickies..(biscuits Nihahi!! lol) Good DH going to just drop you off so you can ask all that you need with your onc.....take that Notebook with you to keep you amused during chemo!

Websister, good to have you back. Good you've been away busy and spending time with grandkids and daughter in law. See you are a nice Mother in Law

Movie, I'm like your DH, not a cat lover but can tolerate them....lol. One of my friends is obsessed with cats....cats and more cats. My cousin lost hers last week.....funnily enough came home when she was hungry....my cousin cried when cat was gone and cried when she saw her back out of joy!  You are a strong women and you will get though this hun with the support of family, friends and your new family here.....:)

Liefie, hope you enjoyed your pork chops...I'm more a gravy person then an apple sauce person personally. I'm making chicken ribs on the bbq tonight with a salad quick and easy

Caitlin, hope you are feeling a little better hun

Dakota, hows the cockroach, still being nice !! Hope you are well and not overdoing it!!

nihahi

Traii...great news on the bloods for tomorrow...Have you kicked that cold yet? I'm thinking of bringing an assortment of polish, got some hot pink, some deeeep red, and some green with glitter....anybody want some of each?? (ha..that'll teach ya to nod off, waiting the chemo to start!).There's different types of massage, but unless you are deliberately trying to work through a muscle issue, it shouldn't be horrifically painful. Try again sometime, and tell them you want a "relaxation" one, not a therapy session! Bet you love it. I'd give anything for a good massage right now, but the alien won't let me lay on my front, and after the surgery, won't be allowed to for another stretch of time. 

Edi, did you ever think you'd be at this point and saying "bring it on"...so proud of you! Hope you've dusted off your dancing shoes, and hubby is just as excited. If not, drag him along anyway! Maybe you should do the "other" version of a chocolate teddy (wink, wink!). I have just the nail polish to go with it!

Websister, you are ceaseless in your busy life, and your thoughtfulness of others. You set a new standard!!!!!

Caitlin, hope you're feeling a bit better. 

Movie, hope you're able to get some good rest, to help heal the incision and get over the bronchitis.

Liefie, I'm sure your hubby is one of the "good docs", sorry he had such a horrible experience. I bet everyone on the island is well into spring fever by now. It's snowing again here! I'll take BOTH the gravy and the applesauce please and thank you!

Dakota, Carla, Benny, Bevlee, Foxey, Lesleyanne, Bearcub, Luvmy, et al. Sleep well/have a good day.

scouser47

Liefie, not a great cat lover but DO love siamese, so beautiful and majestic, My YD has a moggie an awful feral black and white creature which takes delight in trying to scratch you to pieces when you go anywhere near  lol.
Glad your cousin is doing so well, as you say we are all different.
Know what you mean about DH's and being outside. Wish mine had a greenhouse, he does love to potter in his shed and as he is madly redesigning our little palace the garden is next on the list. He has a little pond with a seven year old goldfish which looks like a koi carp ! When it goes to the big pond in the sky that is going to be made into a water feature.
You MUST have that massage, my master does aromotherapy oil massages from head to foot. I haven't had one of these yet but bought one for a present for my Aunt and she said it was the best experience she had had in years.
I too have 25 rads and quite looking forward to them as last step on this journey yay.
Can't believe they charge for parking for Cancer patients. We have a blue card, wave it at man on gate and all free.

Moviemaniac, Glad you still checking in  agree about nihahi wonderful description of bc diagnosis and will print it off, frame it and put it in my kitchen. When anyone pxxxxs me off will take them in there and point at it.
Hope Bronchitus gets better quickly, it all adds insult to injury doesn't it.
I too am not half as scared as I was when I came on here last August, was rigid with terror then and now totally laid back and positive thanks to the sisters.
Join us in the meadow anytime.
Namaste,  x

Been awake since 4am so have done a facial and painted my nails. Chemo no 6 here I come. !!

Will check u all later xxx

Dakota212

Hi just a quick gooduck to u Traii and edi!!! Talk soon

scouser47

Dakota< thanks thought i was there for at least five hours so took flask and sandwiches> it was really quiet so in and out in one hour
Hope traii ok xx

Traii

Edi, so glad you were in and out in an hour...how good is that

I am going to bed, just after midnight tomorrow.. onc appt at 10:30 then chemo at 11am. so still have a few hours to sleep, get ready, drop DS at kindy then drive the hour down to the city !

Now rest up...hope you got all the questions answered that you had for onc.

Thanks dakota.....hope you are ok hun.

Nihahi, cold still around but I'm ok, lost tastebuds from my cold , arghhh.....my Neutrophils and WBC were higher than 3 weeks ago but my Lymphocites are at 1.0 normal range 2.0 - 7.0...anyone had this ? Just hope nothing serious going on...will ask onc tomorrow.

Am liking the assortment of nail polish colours your bringing tomorrow...maybe you can give me a massage...just jump out of my pocket when you see me nice and relaxed ok...lol.......I will have to try for another massage, a relaxation one....have no idea what the other one was I got years ago, but it felt like I'd just done a massive work out at the gym!

Night night everyone ( enjoy your day / evening / morning !) love to all you sisters rock

luvmygoats

Edi - Good to get #6 done.  Are you done with chemo land?  I'm thinking not yet.  Hope you talk DH into dancing again.  And loo almost done; new place of refuge.  We have started some on house.  Found shutters on sale last week so DH getting to replace the rotting ones; decorative only but house front too plain to leave them off.  Painting next.

Traii - Great that bloods were good.  Don't know about lymphocytes. Ready for a pocket party.  WOOHOO.  My polish colors are pretty bland compared to Nihahi's.  Snacks ready too.  We will celebrate big time!!!

Dakota - Good luck with cockroach.  At least you are not in same school with D(not)H.  My husband's niece is an echo tech in  western KY.  She's done it for a long time, one of the first in the hospital there.  She must be about 50.

Websister - so today must be rads 4???  Gosh, rads class.  We did not have such a thing and I went to a very large cancer center.  They did, of course, have a chemo class I saw on the schedule.  And what about that paying to park?  Even when I go to breast center for mammo I get a sticker to skip paying.

Nihahi  - How's the alien behaving?

Off to internist today, what we use for a GP.  Glaucoma doc tomorrow.  Went to big city Friday and Sat. last week.  Went Fri. with DH to his eye doc appt and shopping for those shutters.  Sat. I took him to work and shopped (well a lot of road time to get where I wanted to go), then picked him up and went out with friends for great Mex. food.  Made for a long day.  Can't wait for Thur. when I don't have to be anywhere.

Welcome Moviemaniac - Sounds like you've had a rough go.  Hope the cough syrup and Mucinex is holding your cough at bay.

Caitlin, Carla, Liefie Luv, Foxey, Keemo, Bevlee, Bearcub and all other I have missed a shout out for a good Tuesday.  Off to ladies Bible study in OH!! 40 minutes.  Better get my you know what up and moving.  Then off to doc.

Benny, WHERE ARE YOU?  Thinking of you lots and hope you are busy in a good busy way.

nihahi

Edi and Traii....In your pockets, and let me tell you it is crowded in here. Edi, sounds like you had a short stay this time. Hope the onco doc treated you well and answered all the questions. There's always new ones that pop up, aren't there!! Pamper yourself today, you have to let that nail polish dry completely, or the glitter will flake off!

Movie....thinking about you lots, boy, hope you start having things easier REALLY SOON! 

Caitlin...any better today?? 

Traii....sounds like your body is fighting off your cold, nothing major to worry about, I don't think. Hope you get a few more days of good rain, (not floodtype though) with no lightning. That should help sort out those fires.

Edi...I had a large garden before we moved here. Loved working in it as it was another reason to be outside. My family let me do "whatever", which of course, they should, since I did all the work. Maybe that is where you can let your hubby have free rein, and feel like the "king". That way he'll stay out of Queen Edi's domain!!!!

Dakota....how's chemo free life!

scouser47

Hi Dolly Daydreams, hope you got good rest.
It was a doddle today, hope yours is too. Feel bit weepy but been up since 4am and need to sleep but everything in the house is a bit hectic. Plumbers bashing on and DH just needs bashing lol.
You take care driving tom, do you take yourself there and back ?
Had a good chat to onco who was really chatty and smiley for a change.Given me something to stop sore mouth before it starts.
Apologised that CMF knocked me sideways.
I asked when Rads starting and he was horrified that I hadn't started already, seems they should have been going on alongside CMF. He rang the department and really gave them a lecture.
Getting mapping and Tat next tues after chemo then may start pretty soon after that.
In pockets with cupcakes, emery boards and various beauty aids. No giggling when the sisters start the massaging. Sure Dakota will smuggle in Cabana boy as a little treat for you. xx
 

nihahi

Edi....horrible to just want to sleep and too much stuff/noise/whatever going on around you. Hope things settle down soon. Glad the onco doc was good today. I think some things happen for a reason. From the way you had to battle back the demons from your cmf, starting rads at the same time could have been just too much for you. Not to worry that things now may be "out of sync" as every place does things on a different schedule. Now you'll be at a better place, physically to get "beamed". Weepy day...pfft. Why not? The things we go through......My last chemo treatment....I cried the whole infusion, and the whole way home in the car. Not that I was wanting more chemo...it was horrible for me....but suddenly I felt like I had been abandoned, treatment wise! Scared to death they were letting the f***ing cancer come back. Illogical....yes. Felt true to me....YOU BET! My mind just couldn't get wrapped around the "you're done" concept. Another big adjustment for friends and family then, cause they were happily into the "it's OVER" glee, and I was NO WHERE CLOSE to feeling like that. 

HUGS< HUGS< HUGS!

carlads

Hi Everyone,

Just a quick note, number three hasn't been a kind as 1 and 2.  Mouth sores again, sore throat and stomach issues.. And a lip twitch which I understand can be from the Taxotere..  I will check in later..

It sounds like you are all doing well... Caitlin hang in there..

Dakota please stay strong! 

Love you all,

Carla

scouser47

nihahi, thank you dear friend, funny you should say that but was only thinking when this is all finished THEN WHAT !!
Bit like being cast adrift without a lifebelt, asked by BC buddy, do they scan you or anything to make sure the " BC bitch " is dead.
No she said they just tell you to come back now and again for chat etc.
Whoa, Edi thinks what if it hasn't worked ?
Then calm down and think, they MUST know what they are doing they have been at it for years lol.
They have just rolled out a fab new vehicle here. It is a fully fitted out chemo treatment room.
They park it in a supermarket car park for the day and you can just chemo then retail if you feel up to it.
No parking fees or looking for a space as huge retail park.
while i was in the shower this morning ,the first lady to be treated there today was raving about it on the radio.
They also can do your treatment at home. I really fancied that idea but DH wasn't happy about it.
That is great if you don't drive and have to get transport to the hospital.
Lovely today DH just dropped me off and went home to annoy the plumbers. I could talk about MY BC with MY DOC without interruptions. Sorry to sound ungrateful but a bit fed up with people hijacking my illness.lol.
hope alien dormant xx

nihahi

Totally get the "hijacking" feelings, Edi.! I think the "what now....you MUST need to do something more" feelings come from how for most of us, the discovery of the cancer came as a complete surprise, and led to the whole "loss of trust" issues. It takes such a toll on our ability to feel confident, and not freak out at each little twinge, etc. It would be soooo much easier, if they could honestly say.....we know, without a doubt, that you will never have cancer again...but you never get to hear those words, and I think that is what makes it such a hard thing for us to move on from, or our family/friends to "get". It gets easier with time, but for me, is always lurking in the background. I was the first in my family to be diagnosed, and back in those days, they didn't really connect the dots that much about genetics. After my dx, turns out my mom and one of her sisters were also dx'd. So to me, I have a genetic predisposition, which still worries me, since they only did a unimx. Leads to some pretty scary emotions when mammo time rolls around. 

I'm sending out a pocket request ladies. Starting to freak out somewhat over my appt tomorrow with the surgeon. It's been booked since January, and his office has called twice in the past two days....each time they start off with the words "we have to reschedule"....and I start to freak out. Turns out the change is just time of day, not the day itself, because the surgeon is on call this week. I told her this morning, when she called AGAIN, that I really don't care what time I get in, but I really, really, need it to be tomorrow and not rescheduled to another day!!!!! I think the alien starts to celebrate now each time the phone rings, thinking it's regained control!!!!! 

Dakota212

Hi ladies -

Yes brought cabana boy someone must have snatched him up quickly.

Edi- I am taking what u said about mom to heart. I hear that frequently. once the cockroach is gone then i can start living again. Can't wait!!! Glad u got done so quickly !!

Traii - good luck today tho ur probably done by now. Cockroach is being ok. He's strange texting me things like he wants to stay together but acts differently in person I am trying to go with the actions louder than words.

Movie-

Feel better!!!

Thanks everyone for the thoughts. I will perservere I know I can.

It's funny I feel a little strang not having to go to chemo this week. First time since November !!! I do have some more appointments coming up tho.

Hope all u ladies have a great day and minimal SE's!!!

Hugs

Dakota212

Nihahi-

Will be there with u, we will tame the alien!!!

nihahi

Dakota....If these text message topics are something new, he is probably starting to be aware of your new-found strength and determination to have a better life. Maybe he is starting to detect a little slip in his "grip" on you. Obviously, none of us have ever met him, and it may be unfair of us to judge him, but you are a smart lady, who deserves a good life, and also want the best you can get for your children......I don't think cockroach can give any of that to you. His loss, not yours.

nihahi

Thanks Dakota.....going out for a long walk, without any phone.....too scared to get another call about "rescheduling"!!!!!!!!

Dakota212

Nihahi - u are absolutely correct. It's the same pattern. I start to get stronger in words and actions and he pulls me back in. It's amazing how manipulative it is. Then u find urself saying why did I say that or do that. U may not know him but everybody can peg him !!! Enjoy ur walk!!!

liefie

Carla, sorry to hear about the SE's. That twitch must be irritating. I had eye twitches, and parts of my face were numb at times. You relax and rest - the end must be in sight for you? At least that's what I hope!

Dakota, you certainly read the cockroach like a book - lol! Wow, but he is manipulative - 'wants to stay together' - then when you start divorce proceedings he will say it's you who want it, not him . . .Good for you to stay with the 'actions speak louder than words' mantra. It never fails, and I've always believed in it. Words are cheap, but what you DO is where the truth lies. We're all so proud of you!

Edi, glad your chemo is done. Hope you won't have bad SE's! Yes, Siamese cats are just different and so beautiful, aren't they? Very social, intelligent, so loving, and playful into their old age. I've had about nine over the course of my life. The previous one went for walks on a leash like a dog - too cute. Just love them. DH was not a cat person because he did not know cats at all, but he loves them now. We have a dog too for balance - lol! 

Nihahi, thanks for the kind words re DH. Sometimes things happen to us, and we cannot control other people. They will do what they will do. Will be in your pocket re that appointment - hope it is settled now and that the time won't change again. The alien will not win this round! About those scary feelings lurking in the background: I hear you and Edi, and guess they will always be there, but I don't give them much room. As I said on another board, I am not going to get hung up on something that may or may not happen in future. We only have today, and today I'm healthy and energetic, so I try to live in the moment, not worrying about the future that I have no control over anyway. If the beast strikes again down the line, I'll handle it when it comes. Not before. No way. In the meantime I count my blessings every day, so grateful to be here, and to enjoy life again. My two cents.

Websister, thanks for asking about my cousin. She had her first chemo on Wednesday, and went to work yesterday. She said she felt a little nauseous and listless over the weekend, but that she was doing okay. She sounds very positive, and is taking it one day at a time. Rads seem to be going well for you - will be over before you know it. Glad you had a good time with your kids and grandchildren. So precious!

Traii, are you done with chemo yet? Let us know how it went. What colour is your nails?

Caitlin and Moviemaniac, hopefully you two are feeling better today?  

Traii

Morning here ladies 7am. Have a kindy drop off at 9 then onc appt 1030 then chemo so dont sleep...you coming to the nail polish party!!! Lol



Edi sounds good re car park chemo...(sounds like a party in itself) its a good idea but Im a little with DH i'd rather be at hospital having treatment.

Dont stress over rads combo. Im not having it and its the first time ive heard of the combo to be honest and im on the cmf thread. Pop in there.



Nihahi, its true what you say. Next weds will be my final iv cycle and finishing pills on 12th march. When i asked onc last time i saw him 'what happens after' he said nothing happens what do you want to happen!!!! I said well follow up care like scans etc. He replied what for? Why ? The cancers out before you started treatment so next is BMX.

Well i want scans and he will do them if i want!



Dakota you are a strong strong women, i know what its like re manipulative husband. Even the best can be manipulative. You just need to follow your heart on this.



Liefie nails pink at the moment but im going to be a rainbow after nihahis finished with me no doubt!!!



Carlads i had the twitching eye face thing didnt last long after steriods with tax. One day at a time honey.

I had the sore throat too. Just do plenty of fluids hun x