I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

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  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited December 2012

    My guilty music pleasure is Prince. Love me some Prince(or the Artist Formerly Know As).

    By age and years of work, my husband can retire in 2 years. I can retire in 14. Neither one of us is planning on it, though, at this time. It's hard to even imagine.

    Mary

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  • RetiredLibby
    RetiredLibby Member Posts: 1,992
    edited December 2012

    Kam, I completely understand. My occupation so completely tracks with my personality that they just paid me to be myself. It was very intimidating to me to think of retiring -- who would I tell good and useful information to? When DH and I were still working at the same place we met, he used to say irritably that I would never retire - I would be 80 years old and saying, "I just have to run this one more press conference -- it is a huge case!" Now, in a different place with a different cast and crew and a different focus, it is entirely different.



    You are having to do all the work of detaching and grieving and finding a way to accept it all in a few hours. I have had months to realize that they weren't going to use me, that they weren't interested in solutions to their problems that lay in my bailiwick, that it was never going to get any better, and that I really didn't want to start over somewhere else. I have had a LOT of people (everyone from my own husband and family to virtual strangers) tell me that they didn't think I could retire because I am too energetic. Well, with being sidelined, I have gotten a taste of what it would be like -- and with being home recovering from various surgeries for months at a time -- I am more comfortable with it. I did my big grieving when I left a job that I adored -- the place where DH and I met -- in 2000. Everything else has been a shadow of that job (and that place is no longer there, having been eaten by a larger entity and turned into a nightmare). Be kind to yourself and give yourself some time to feel a little lost about no longer being a (title) but being retired and doing what you want. It is scary, I know -- but like others are saying, it also opens up vistas you could not see from behind your office walls. (((((Kam)))))

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  • Belinda44
    Belinda44 Member Posts: 718
    edited March 2013

    Kam, wish I had some words of wisdom What a transitional time of you.  So many emotions, I imagine.  The unknown and the new can be quite scary, but also a time of new discovery and unexpected adventures and/or simple pleasures.  I wish you all the best during this pivotal time in your life.

    Good luck!

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    He still rocks!

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  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    Ah thank you so much guys....all of you.  The collective wisdom and experience within this group is just amazing.

    Interjecting - Who is that Blue?

    I just got off the phone with a coworker.  She has spent a lot of time working on the "issues" of life and I got some sage advice and a listening ear.   One thing she told me is that "events are neutral"...my reaction is the thing worth examining.  I've been having a lot of reactions to so many things these last few days, and not just about retirement, but it does loom large.  I always thought I would maybe set a date, a year out, then just savor it's coming.  I'm not doing it how I imagined it at all.  I'm only thinking of worst case scenerios....not a soul has told me that it is a bad state to be in, thankfully!!

    Belinda - so you are actually 44?  You know, at 44, I got up expecting and liking going to work and thinking of ways to improve my job.  Twenty years flies by, believe me!  HL - I know what you mean about recovering from surgery.  It's a lot like practicing retirement, isn't it.  Heck, I've had 4 surgeries this year, so I should be almost there, you'd think.  I guess I never gave my job credit for how much it was part of my identity, sick or not.

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  • suzieq60
    suzieq60 Member Posts: 6,059
    edited December 2012

    (((((((((((((((Kam)))))))))))))))))) - are you being forced to retire or is it voluntary?

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  • Belinda44
    Belinda44 Member Posts: 718
    edited March 2013

    Kam, glad you got some good advice from your coworker. 

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Jimmy Page.

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Mr. Parkinson forced me to retire 12 years ago.  I was heavy into arts and crafts so the first few years were not too bad.  I could drive and still accomplish things.  Now that's a rarity if Ray's not home with me, for fear of falling.  Even though I miss my job terribly, I manage to still make the most of it!

    Just enjoy!

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    The presence of a life partner has to make a world of difference. I think love does conquer all. Without it, one must trek as if climbing Mt. Everest.

    Prince lik-er here, too.

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  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    Agreed Athena.  I'm doing this alone.

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Love Lenny Kravitz more.

    Athena, Ray does make the world of difference.  He knew what he was getting into when we hooked up and has not regretted it.

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  • Belinda44
    Belinda44 Member Posts: 718
    edited March 2013

    Edit

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Saw that!  Great tribute!

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    How many highly coiffed poodles, and how many Martians, had to give up their lives for the following F/W 2012 fashion show to become reality? Sarah Burton (for Alexander McQueen) is out-of-this-world talented, so don't take this too literally:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asgvkRQe85A

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  • 208sandy
    208sandy Member Posts: 2,610
    edited December 2012

    Lewing - here's to a magical day tomorrow and a long and happy marriage!

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  • 1Athena1
    1Athena1 Member Posts: 6,696
    edited December 2012

    Sandy - thanks for the reminder - Lewing - congrats - how wonderful for you! May it be a superb day. Love to see some pictures.

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  • Belinda44
    Belinda44 Member Posts: 718
    edited December 2012

    Lewing, 
    Congrats/Mazel Tov!

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

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  • IllinoisLady
    IllinoisLady Member Posts: 29,082
    edited December 2012

    Blue --- stealth

    Kam --- Don't know if it would work for you, but I went through a period when i refused to consider anything more than getting through the next 10 mins of my life.  No matter what your difficulties....if you only HAVE to get through the next ten minutes.....it can go fairly well.  From 10 mins. I was soon realizing that 6 mos. was behind me. 

    ((((Lewing))))  Happy, happy special wedding day.

    Jackie

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  • lassie11
    lassie11 Member Posts: 1,500
    edited December 2012

    Very best wishes to Lewing and family.

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited December 2012

    (((Lewing))) Your husband-to-be is a very lucky man. Best wishes for a smooth wedding and a happy marriage!

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  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    {{{Lewing}}} - I was wondering where you were.  Busy with wedding plans!  You are so uber talented, I can only imagine how nice it will be.  To a beautiful marriage - cheers!

    Jackie - sage advice.  I've been so careful not to slip on our icy sidewalks at work, not wanting to end my career with a broken bone, so what do I do, going without shoes in my house (unwise for a neuropathic), I think I just broke my little toe.  Cleaning my office out today, I realized how much I had forgotten about what I've done, what I've learned, and now have forgotten.  It made it apparent it might be the right time to move on.

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

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  • QuinnCat
    QuinnCat Member Posts: 3,456
    edited December 2012

    Can't get enough Wendall (I still want to say Fossil) pics Blue.   He looks so industrious in these pics.   How is the intradog interaction going?

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  • CherrylH
    CherrylH Member Posts: 1,077
    edited December 2012

    Linda and Eric, Mazel Tov!

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  • kad2kar
    kad2kar Member Posts: 336
    edited December 2012

      Lewing I knew it was 28th, but thinking 28 was saturday.  Congratulations and Best Wishes for a forever marriage marriage.---kad2kar

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  • gardengumby
    gardengumby Member Posts: 7,305
    edited December 2012

    Kam - I haven't been ignoring you, just haven't been logged in!  I had tissue expanders prior to the DIEP.  Yes, the muscles shrunk back to their normal size and placement. 

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  • gardengumby
    gardengumby Member Posts: 7,305
    edited December 2012

    Son, DIL and Grandkids left today to go back to their island.  DIL got sick while here (allergies from this dusty dusty DUSTY condo.)  Granddaughter also suffered as hubby continues to do.  But all had an enjoyable Christmas.  Grandson is so very funny.  Granddaughter has interior decorating in her future.  She arranges EVERYTHING.  If you set something down you will never find it again, as she has put it SOMEWHERE.  Things are neat, though.  but everything is at a place that makes perfect sense to a seven year old - maybe not quite so much for an adult.... 

    Anyway, I already miss them, but at the same time really truly enjoy the peace and quiet that has arrived with their departure.  I'll post some pictures tomorrow ....  or maybe the next day.  :)  Only two weeks left.  I'm depressed, as I do NOT want to go back to the cold!!!!

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  • bluedahlia
    bluedahlia Member Posts: 6,944
    edited December 2012

    Lilah is being a snot.  She's afraid of him!

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