In shock
Comments
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Hi gorgeous sisters,
We can all feel safe now that our beautiful scout is back with her trusty steed.
Benny, can feel amazing vibes from you. Please rest, eat and get stong again.knowing you thought of our valley was so wonderful. Thank you.
What is Claritin ? The shot they gave me they informed me is £ 600.00 a go ! Think that is why they aren't given out too much. Don't want this all dragging out longer than needed, hope the flippin thing works.
Did you get to see Diamond ? I hope so looking forward to seeing the article too. x
Dakota, didn't really understand these SE's. Yesterday after chemo I was almost hyper like a Duracell Bunny. DH tried to get me to rest but nooo. I slept eventually for 4 hours and got up made 2 dozen chocolate fairy cakes to take to Bingo .
Then put on the fringe on a band and created a turban out of some lovely soft material a friend gave me. Wound silk band around near the front then added a gold and crystal scarf clip at the front, three or four ladies at the Bingo wanted to know where I bought my hat !
Trotted up to the charity shop and wham, room spun ,cheeks went bright pink and I burst into tears. Next thing I knew was on a comfy chair with glass of water and being hugged by lots of sweet ladies. The boss then put me in her car and bought me home. Now feel like I have been run over. Joy oh Joy.Last time wasn't as yuk as this.
You made me laugh ( thanks ) with the wig story, we do need to laugh about all this don't we. ? x
Traii, hope your little tootsie's are less painful this morning ? How are your dry hands, did the cream and gloves do any good ? My skin appears to be drying out a bit :-( will have to get DH to rub me over with an oily rag lol x
Bevlee, fancy you being a scouser. Have you ever been back here for a holiday ? My DH drives a bus around Newferry sometimes. We live in Upton wirral now but were both born and bred in Lpool. Lovely to have you in our Valley. Chemo not bad for most people as Benny say's .It's the means to an end. The destruction of BC.! x
Got to dash got water infection, feels like I am passing bleach.:-(
Love to ALL sisters I haven't mentioned x
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Benny, welcome back .... take care of yourself .... and go check that beautiful horse of yours.
Bevlee hopefully it is worth the Oncotype Dx --- my provincial insurance paid in Canada
Trail, you had nodes positive so you wouldn't have had the oncotype done -- done if grade 1 or 2 and no node involvment.
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Edi-
Ur poor bottom !!!! I hope u feel better
Re the onco type. I am stage 1, no nodes, grade 2, had high onco type. I thought if u had node involvement then chemo regardless that's why they sometimes don't bother with it. I requested it because of my sister. -
Joanne..thanks so much was looking back through my paperwork to see if i missed oncotype....ahhh im not that crazy after all....lol
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Edi, Tootsies little bit better today but still painful but bearable (wellthey just have to be don't they! lol) I'm waiting on a call back from one of the chemo nurses, she was going to get in contact with my onc to see if he wants to see me...I've read that they may stop treatment or reduce it.....I'm hoping none of the two and that tootsies just bloody get better!
I tried that glove with cream once Edi, it worked great, nice soft skin in the morning.....I have bought an olive oil hand cream...oh my fantastic......it shedded my skin nicely but because of the shedding certain spots look burnt.....but onc saw them last time and said 'yes all part of it!'
Hope DH rubs you all over with Olive Oil cream.....you'll have no dry skin anywhere (wink wink!)
Dakota, we must go through the loss of hair, funny times with our wigs etc......kids as much as they drive us insane, they are our sanity through these times especially......whether they are our children or like Edi, grandkids...:) they keep us smiling and going ........ thats why we are all going to beat this bitch, kick it in the butt and move on and through this all become stronger women whom have met wonderful ladies along the way that really kept us sane along the way.

If someone asked me now who's helped me along the way throughout my ordeal.. I would say my family and friends, special mention to my mum and dad and darling brother & sis n law...my darling cheeky boy... hubby and my new found friends whom we all have one thing in common and have kept eachother strong along our journey = you lovely warrior sisters

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Hi everybody,
It seems you are all soldiering on valiantly. Edi, yes, maybe you are a little too ambitious. That chemo can make you very weak, and it can come on suddenly. It is also all those other pills you have to take with it. Together it is quite the cocktail. Glad you were in good hands, and came home safely.
Traii, I hope the sore feet will go away soon. I did not ice my feet, and still have some numbness in some of my toes, but it does not deter me from anything, and it is getting better. Onc said chances of it going away completely is 95% . . . All the statistics is getting a little boring, but it makes the onc happy, so I'll take it.
Benny, how is Diamond? And you?
Dakota, Websister, Bevlee, Joanne and everyboy else, best wishes. Hope everybody is feeling good.
Had a busy day going to coffee group meeting, then gym, then got boxes from post-office for children's Christmas parcels, bought compression socks to wear on the plane to prevent swollen feet, practised organ for the upcoming wedding. I feel a little less energetic this week than normal, and got so tired in the gym today. Some weeks are better than others. The days are going by so fast!
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Liefie-
Wow u are a busy girl. I dragged myself on the treadmill today. Ran 3.5 miles. It felt good.
Traii-
Glad ur toes are better!! -
Hi Lifie,
The numbness in my toes were fine....that was great compared to my whole foot...I can't believe my actual Onc phoned me about 30 mins ago...he said so long as there is no blistering then it should be fine and as the pain is not getting worse and its a little better today then hopefully that thats the worst it should get and it should be ok......fingers crossed....to put cream and havec ibrufen or panadol to ease the pain...I need to get them better, because when my son calls me to run with him to the toilet (toilet training) then its time to run and mummy isn't running as fast at the moment with her sore feet....lol so I try telling him to not leave his wees til the last minute...
I got as far as putting marzipan on the fruit cake today....one step at a time.. I'll be putting the icing tonight.......
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Well, I confess I never made it out to see Diamond today. I guess my plans were too ambitious. Just getting dressed powered me out. I had to keep lying down throughout the day. All I did in hospital was lie around so why would I expect to come home and carry on as I was pre-chemo. It's just that this is day 14 for me and I am still exhausted beyond belief. I keep thinking I'll have more strength tomorrow, but I never do.

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1 day at a time Benny....with what you have been through the passed couple of weeks, you are doing well at day 14....some people don't get dressed and get out of bed, at least you are doing that.
It's all quite normal to be exhausted, just do what you can and at your own pace hun....each day will get better and one morning you will wake up and feel more strength.
Before you know it you will be out to see Diamond...I'm sure he's missing your smiley face.
We are all walking this journey together, the good, the bad & the ugly.....we are all there for eachother!
Praying for a speedy strength day for you Benny x
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Hi sisters,
Hope you all feel good today. :-)
Dakota, Did your sister have BC too ? I had to have chemo as hormone neg they said it would give me two percent extra chance of living another ten years. Would love to see my GD's grow into young women so no contest. Hope you ok x
Traii, hope your feet get less painful. Have this mental picture of you racing DS along to the dunny. My SE today is redesigning the bathroom again lol. Got radio in there now plus paper and pencils to do the plans.
Support network is a godsend isnt it ? My DH amazing, the kids and GD's. Warrior sisters ARE so important too.
If I get a rub down from DH the excitement might see the poor man off lol.
Good luck with the icing x
Liefie, You are spot on again. DH has said that after chemo I really must chill and rest in future. Defo will at least until the pills cocktail is done.
When is the wedding you are playing at ?
Aren't you off to South Africa soon too. X
Benny, You will build up your strength soon. Don't be to impatient, know it's not easy, I should talk ! I am just going to potter about and if I feel tired lie down and sleep. It is a great healer, cat's sleep when they feel unwell perhaps we should learn from them ?
You are 14 days on but without the awful infection sure you would have been as right as ninepence a week ago.x
Websister, Carlands, Joanne, Bevlee and anyone else reading take care x
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Edi-
Yes, my sister was also dx at 40, ER/PR +, with nodes and opted NOT to do chemo and radiation, reoccurrence at 45, her 2 +, stage 4, she did a year of chemo and radiation and is doing great but that is why when my onco type came back high there was no question for me. I would always be nervous if I didn't do it. I hope ur trips to the bathroom are minimal!!!
Benny-
Please be careful! Don't over do it!!
Fell better (hugs)
Traii -
Ur right in with ur advice!!! Keep those toes in running shape training my son was sooooooo much harder than my daughter!!!
Liefie-
Hope u got to ur icing
Bevlee, Joanne, carlads. Everyone hope everyone is S/E FREE!!!!
Enjoy the day!!! -
Yes, that infection knocked the wind out of me when I was already low. Today is day 15 and I have less strength than yesterday. Good thing chemo is delayed cuz I wouldn't make it through. A friend is picking up my wig today. If she brings it to me I will post a picture. Going back to bed

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Benny, so glad that you are resting. Sorry you feel weaker. Looking forward to pics of the wig. Sure it will be gorgeous.x
Dakota, how awful for your sister, glad you decided on chemo we need you around for a long long time.How's the scalp ? My GD loves to stroke mine, she onformed me tonight that it is smooth when she strokes one way but prickly the other lol. I asked if she would like me to put my wig on but she said no. x
Really tired today going to have a Nana Nod zzzz x
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Hello Benny
I stumbled across this thread this evening and am sorry about the challenges you've had to face re FEC-D (Docetaxel - also known as Taxotere). In the UK, this is a popular treatment, which I finished in August 2012.
My friend had the same diagnosis as you six years ago, had the same treatment as us and is alive and kicking with no spread. She's riding her horse and is going to let me ride her young pony next spring too.
You may not feel it at the moment but when you look back you may find that it all seems to fade away and becomes a distant memory. My friend feels like that and so do I already!
In case my experience of FEC helps you to look forward to when you've finished the chemo, here it is...
Between March 2012 and August 2012, I had 4 x FEC and 4 x Taxotere and am now on Herceptin. I got sepsis (blood poisoning) after my first round of FEC and was rushed to hospital but the docs cleared it up quickly with IV antibiotics and I went home after two days.
Like you, my neutrophils (white blood infection-fighting components) went down - mine to 0.3. After that, I had Neulasta (didn't work) and then Neupogen shots for five days afterwards.
I had a few other problems with 3 X FEC (peeling skin, blood clots) but got through it and...the Taxotere was so much easier!!!!!!
Felt like a dish cloth after 1 x Taxotere but my oncologist reduced it to an 80% dose and all was well. Hopefully, you will find Taxotere easier too but if it isn't, the oncologist can reduce the dose.
When you're going through all this, it does feel, sometimes, as if you can't continue - especially when you get to infusion 4 or 5. I always found days 7-14 after the infusion hard with FEC - think the lowest part is known as the nadir - and day 3 with Taxotere but it does get better.
Amazingly, just one month past chemo I felt as good as new - in fact, a new and improved version. Rads were a lot easier too.
Saddle up when you can!
Best wishes
Alice
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Benny, I remember during chemo how tired I got just from taking a shower and drying myself - had to lie on the bed for five minutes to get my breath back before I could get dressed, and then I had to rest again - lol. Just hang in there. It will pass. You're at the beginning, but it will pass. Just get through today. Tomorrow will take care of itself. (((HUGS!!!)))
Edi, we're leaving on Monday, arriving in Cape Town on Wednesday night, and the wedding is on Friday. I'm getting so excited now. You do have to share that bathroom design with us when you're done?
Dakota, the kids' stuff that I baked is all packed up and ready to be mailed tomorow. Took some manoeuvring to fit everything in, but it's done. Hallelujah! They better appreciate it, otherwise I'm never doing it again. LOL! I hope the cake will still be recognizable when it arrives. I'm going to put 'fragile' on the boxes, and hope for the best.
Traii, good for you on icing your cakes. You sound very competent! I did not ice - just made small 'cheat' fruit cakes with pineapple which makes it moist and delicious. They don't take so long to bake either. And I poured some brandy on each cake. Just because.
Everybody else, hope you are having a good day. Best wishes!
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Edi, I hope your nana nod was restorative. I did get the wig and will post pics tomorrow.
Alicethecat, thank you so much for the promising and informative post. I hope I get through this but it has been a really REALLY rough start. I meet with the oncologist next week and don't know what he's going to suggest, but I know he's delayed the chemo by a week and is recognizing that something needs to change. I know he felt so bad for me. It's funny you would mention the 0.3 neutriphils. When they released me from the hospital on Tuesday, the oncologist told me that my neutriphils had risen to 0.3 and were 'trending upward'. So that means they were below 0.3 at some point. I have no idea what's normal, but man was I sick and weak. I dropped 8 pounds from November 15 to November 24. My skin on my face is peeling like a sunburn and God help me if I get a blood clot. That sounds like something involving a needle, which I abhor. I was in hospital for over 4 1/2 days, which is 4 1/2 days too long. I'm so happy to hear that you feel good now! I haven't seen my horse since my first chemo on November 15 and it feels like I will never have the strength to see her again. She must wonder what happened to me because I was out there every day when I could.
Liefie, yes, the fatigue is staggering. Just like you say, get dressed, have to lie down, make lunch, have to lie down, play with cat, have to lie down. What a miserable existence. I have learened alot about myself through this. I am a go-getter and do not tolerate any kind of disability well. I also don't cope well in hospitals, which is akin to prison but worse in my books. At least in prison they're not stickin' ya full of needles.
There were a few weird coincidences that happened in the hospital tho'. WARNING: the following is extremely boring and only to be read if you really have nothing better to do.
As I said, I was not coping well in the hospital, sobbing most of the time, literally curled up in the fetal position. Some people need freedom and wide open spaces of nature. You don't get either of those when you're hooked up to an IV in the hospital, and no strength to even walk down the hallway.
Sunday morning I woke up and was beside myself with anxiety and fear. I turned the TV on and surfed channels. I landed on CMT (Country Music Television) and one of my favourite songs was playing, one I hadn't heard in years. CMT never plays Sarah Harmer, but there it was, the video for Oleander by Sarah Harmer gracing the screen. The words of the song seemed prophetic and I wondered if it meant something, like a sign to just hang on. I caught just the tail end of the video.
Well nothing has ended, it's all been mended,
It's the way that it should be,
You're coming back, you're coming back,
It was so lonely here just me,
This time no promises of what's to come,
We'll just live it for the day,
Oleander, I see you stand there and I know you'll be okay.
Oleander,I think you're better,
I think you made it through another winter.Then the other weird thing was on Sunday night. My favourite show in the world is Heartland on CBC. It's a show about.... yup, horses. I was hanging onto Sunday, just waiting for the show to come on at 7 as usual. I tuned in and it took some of my pain and sorrow away. But around 7:40 I started getting worried because I knew it was going to end and my desperation would return. All of a sudden the screen flashed "Next on CBC: Heartland". I thought maybe they made a mistake? No! They ran 3 hours of Heartland back to back!! In the 6 years I have been watching that show they have never run any episodes back to back, but on the night of my lowest, here it was. By the time the show ended at 10 p.m. I was tired and slept a bit through the night. Thank God for small mercies.
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Benny, I believe that things happen to help us when we are at our lowest ebb. That song is beautiful. The fact Heartland ran for 3 hours is wonderfull too.
Thank you for sharing your experience in hospital with the sisters, you coped in the way best for you and came out the other side.
Many years ago I was in for 17 days after the birth of my son. I can honestly say it was terrifying.I was hardly able to walk due to severe anaemia got halfway down a corridor trying to see my baby collapsed and was frogmarched back to my room ( cell ) I too cried more than ever before or since. Hospitals still instill a stomach churning terror even now.Of course things have improved since then but SO understand how trapped you must have felt.
Nanna nod was sooo good, DH then tucked me up in bed at 10.30 and I slept like a baby for the first time in weeks until 7am. Still feel a bit like I have had a truck reverse over me, muscles aching, bit weak and breathless but hey ho, bit further along the path.
Alicethecat, what a great post ! Sure it will help our Benny and any others of us who hit that wall on our journey. Positive stories like this are wonderful. Thank you.x
Liefie, What an exciting time you have coming up. Sure your cakes will arrive intact.We need to hear all about the wedding and sure your playing will make it extra special for them.Ba hroom design on hold, that SE stopped for now thank goodness ! No doubt will continue after next chemo. lol X
I hope you all don't mind if share my nice happenings with you today. We had 6 yr old GD overnight while her Mum and Dad went to an Elbow concert. She went to bed at 7pm woke at 7am peeped around the bedroom door, tiptoed across the floor and gave me the most beautiful cuddle. DH said " what is today " " My Nana's birthday" she replies. Card flowers and chocolate birthday cake complete with candles then appeared. Being 65 suddenly ain't that bad. Having chinese takeaway toni ght with family :-)) Can't wait for my 70th next. Still only feel about 35 until I look in the mirror lol.
Will log in this evening to see what you have all been up to. have a happy day. X
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Hi Ladies,
I haven't been here for awhile. Searching other forums for triple negatives. I have to admit I am getting very anxious. Surgery is Tuesday. I still have the attitude I will beat this but the TN knocked me for a loop. I have been on there forum but this one is like home to me. I guess it's just as well that I found out before surgery, because I have decided to wait on my reconstruction. I just don't want to take the chance of getting an infection and not being able to stay on top of my Chemo.
Benny, it is so good to see you back here!
I don't know if I shared with all of you but my son who is a Coast Guard surprised me night before last and is home until the 9th of Dec. That was great medicine. Having my Grand-daughters 3rd birthday here at my house tomorrow so that will be keep me busy. My husband is still a Rock and has no issue with me waiting or never having reconstruction. Just when I thought I had everything planned and under control another "huge" bump.
Have a great weekend everyone hope all the SE's get better for you all..
Prayers,
Carla
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A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY CYBER MUMMY EDI.....Such a gorgeous way to make your 65th Bday even more special with your GD being there for big hugs and kisses in the morning

I think we should all come to your local pub 5 years from today to celebrate your 70th ......
I'm so happy you are feeling minimal SEs and can enjoy chinese food for dinner with the family ..yum yum...make sure you have an even bigger piece of cake with extra cream ...(just thinking of it I added 5kgs to my waistline...lol)
Benny, such a beautiful story...heartland on for 3 hours and your fav song on tv.....see someone looking down on you sayin...ahhh lets make her stay in hospital a more joyable one!! Glad you resting when you need it.....we all need to listen to our bodies....mine says stay bloody awake and its driven me further along the line of insomnia! Its thundering here now at 140am...hails about to start...sleep, yeh right...shitting myself more or less...and DS better stay snoring!!!
Lifie...hmmm im far from competent.....i just thought ill give a xmas cake a go...my hubby added the rum so god help everyone eating the cake i think we will have a 'merry' chrissy!!
Well have a great day ladies...time fpr some shut eye......♥ -
Benny - thank you for sharing about those experiences you had on Sunday, very special and I don't think they were happening randomly. Glad they brought hope and comfort to you.
Edi - Happy Birthday, sounds like it started in a lovely way, hope your day continues to be a special one for you.
alicethecat - it was wonderful to read your post from the aspect of one who has been there and is now on the other side
Dakota - sorry to hear of your sister, glad she is doing well following chemo and radiation.
Liefie - hugs, my friend. Your trip is getting closer. Enjoy thoroughly. Thank you for all the encouragement and support you continue to provide us here
Everyone else, hope today is a good day for you -
Edi-
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!🍰🎂🍰🎂🍰🎂🎂🎂sooo happy u could enjoy it!!!
Benny-
If course those events happened e specially for u!! U have a guardian angel looking over u!! So happy ur out and on the uphill swing.
Alice-
Thank you so much for sharing ur experience.
Carlads-
I would have burst into tears. What a special present!!
I agree on the 5 year plans, party at edi's !!!!
Hope everybody on moving uphill today. It can't only get better ladies, we got this! Huge hugs to all 😍😍😍 -
Happy birthday, Edith! May there be many more to come. I'm glad the bathroom design is on hold - hope it stays that way.
Have to run to make a meal for my overnight guests, but best wishes to everybody for a wonderful weekend. Benny, I sincerely hope that you are beginning to feel better.
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Happy birthday, dear Edi!!!!!!!

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Liefie, I am no better today. Day 16 and I'm about the same..... exhausted, weak, nauseous, lifeless. I have lost faith that I will ever be normal again.
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Benny...please have faith...u will get better. Your body went through an infection after chemo....it takes a little longer to restore itself after all its been through.
Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
When was your next chemo scheduled...next week? They are going to delay it a week yeh? -
Yes Traii, it was supposed to be December 5 but they've pushed it back a week. I do meet with the oncologist on Tuesday December 4 tho'. And he said I didn't have to do any bloodwork this time so he must be expecting me to be better.
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We will be having our next treatment 12th dec together

We will get through this
You never know onc may do more bloods but see, he has faith all will be good
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Hi gorgeous girls,
Benny love the Happy Birthday ! Thank you. Sorry you still feel weak but as the girls all say your poor body has been attacked on all sides. Chemo is no walk in the park but think it is, compared with the infection.
Know you want to be out and about but WHOA as you would say to Diamond. I should have been in Liverpool fund raising today with my girls, SEs ( dashing to loo and feeling like a zombie ) made me stop and think, I have done my bit for the last few weeks and now my body needs to be rested and pampered a bit. They will raise lots without me and don't want to have to pick me up off the floor in the middle of it all.lol
Wish you were nearer I would make you some of my homemade veggie soup, and come and boss you about just be thankful you are the other side of the planet. X
Alice, hope you are well. x
Liefie, you are right in that the slightest thing knackers you, we all think it won't do it to us but our bodies are full of chemicals what on earth do we expect ?
Hope your meal for visitors went well.
You must be sooo excited about South Africa, how long are you in the air ? x
Carlads, Sure you will be besides yourself with worry about Tuesday but you WILL be great. You are facing this all with great courage :-) We will all be walking into that theatre alongside your trolley carrying your armour ready to strap it back on for the next battle. ((HUG))
Your son coming home is really a beautiful story. You are surrounded by love that is all we need.Your DH not bothered about recon because he loves you not the boobs. My DH says he fancies me more than ever with baldy head ! Considering we have been together almost 50 years find that most encouraging lol X
Traii , Cyber Baby, How you doing ? The hail defo scarey !! Hope you didn't try that on your bare head. lol.Did you finish the cake ? Even tho felt like crap yesterday made cake for my friend with face of Animal from I think it is Sesame Street on it. Anyway he has orange hair and plays the Drums. It turned out pretty good even tho I do say it myself. That is his present for Birthday today. :-)).
Hope SE's minimal, my next chemo now 18th Dec so you will be behind u all :-((.
Sunny but freezing cold here, going to root out the thermal Knickers. x
Dakota, Hi chick how u feeling ? will defo have that party for my 70th at our little local pub ! We will all have mops of curls and be gorgeous again by then X
Websister, Joanne, and any my chemo brain hasn't remembered ((( HUG )))
Edi XX
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Hi Edi, the first flight from Vancouver to Amsterdam is about eleven hours. We have an hour and a half layover there before the next flight to Cape Town which is also about eleven hours. Not looking forward, but it is a bit far to swim, so it is the only way to get there - LOL! Dinner went well. They are still sleeping, and I'm now gearing up for breakfast. So nice to see old friends.
Benny, you will be okay. The first chemo is a dragon. Next time you will be way better prepared, because you know what to expect. It can only be better than your first time, I'm sure.
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