The solution to painful intercourse!!!!!! Yipeee!

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  • cfdr
    cfdr Member Posts: 549
    edited August 2012

    My MO also said absolutely not on any kind of estrogen cream.

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited October 2012

    i haven't been here for awhile, things have been busy, busy.. but, i wanted to tell you guys what happenned to me recently.

      1st, went to reg ob gyn who did the vaginal ultrasound, and said no atrophy.. couldn't explain the pain, went to the onco, who reffered me to onco gyn.. one exam, and im off wait for it... physical therapy in my va jay jay for tightening.. yep, thru chem he says, it can clench.. and then, they have to "open " it.. i remember here, (but not who, of course) who said her dr said she had to be dialated.. apparently, its common, and as funny as H***.. so, now i gotta call this lady, and ck out what its about.. thanx bc again...3jays
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2012

    3jaysmom...please, please, keep us updated. I've been experiencing painful intercourse for years. To the point that we quit trying. Penetration was impossible. This was way before BC, but after menopause. It has nothing to do with lubrication ( I know how to fix that ) or arousal. Pap smears were always very painful for me, even when I was much younger. In fact, and this is embarrassing, but I haven't had a Pap smear since 99 for exactly that reason.



    I've talked to my pcp, but she seemed embarrassed and brushed me off. I have a new pcp now who is easy to talk to, and suggested a ob-gyn, but I'm waiting for insurance to kick in. I know there has to be a way to fix this.



    Blessings

    Paula

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited October 2012
    im glad you're going to get an ob gyn, Soteria. there's a surgery they do, if it a clampoing problem and therapy doesn't work.. to be that tight, just isn't normal, and they need to address it. be aggressive, and clear when you talk to him/her. this dr responded very well, and said it was common for my age, esp with chemo.. who knew!!!i'll be awhile getting in touch with the therapist, but i will keep you aprised . im still laffing.. pt for my whohaa, which is what we always called the "nether regions."/...3jays
  • SPAMgirl
    SPAMgirl Member Posts: 1,470
    edited October 2012

    I was sent to a physical therapist. I can do a legal, but I can't relax afterward. So she's being working with me so I can relax and I let penetration occur.

  • nancym712
    nancym712 Member Posts: 51
    edited October 2012

    I got my Scream Cream but forgot to ask for the lidocaine.  Anyone use it without the lidocaine?  How does the lidocaine affect the exoerience of your partner.  Seems it would numb him up too!

    Thanks!  Can't wait to try my Scream Cream.  I never asked my oncologist who is so anti-everything that is not mainstream.  OB/GYN and my local compunding pharmacy helped me out. 

  • cfdr
    cfdr Member Posts: 549
    edited October 2012

    I used scream cream without the lidocaine. It did not work for me. :-(

    I have started using the "vaginismus kit" from http://www.vaginismus.com/products/vaginismus_kit_dvd

    I will report on how/if it works for me!

  • dancetrancer
    dancetrancer Member Posts: 4,039
    edited October 2012

    I am fortunate in that lubrication and regular activity seems to be keeping things in good working order for me so far post chemopause (first time was painful but improved significantly after that).  However, I wanted to share the following link I found when I was reading about this topic - I thought it was very educational and perhaps may help someone here:

    Vaginal Renewal 

  • Moonflwr912
    Moonflwr912 Member Posts: 6,856
    edited October 2012

    Dance, who knew flossing was THAT important?@? LOL

  • dancetrancer
    dancetrancer Member Posts: 4,039
    edited October 2012

    Ha ha ha ha!!!!  For real! 

  • tenaj
    tenaj Member Posts: 1,052
    edited October 2012

    Dancetrance, thanks for the link, good info.

  • susan3
    susan3 Member Posts: 3,728
    edited October 2012

    my doc is sooooo dry, love him, but this might be a tough topic. going to talk to his head nurse, she is a gem. thanks for the info. i have been using aquaphore and olive oil...lol. but still painful.. thanks cant wait to try

  • SPAMgirl
    SPAMgirl Member Posts: 1,470
    edited October 2012

    That link explains exactly what my physical therapist does, down to the tennis ball. I am working with a doctor to get my skin and tissue ready for the scream cream. My doc told me that I would be SCREAMING from the scream cream if I didn't get some type of hormones in my tissue. DHEA is used for strengthening the vaginal walls.

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited October 2012

    thanx so much, ladies.. dance trance, the info just validated what my gyn said. im going to call the therapist. this isn't something to try on your own.. i'm sure she'll say, the MS is also aggravating it.grrr at least, there's  a "fix" for it.. guess i'll be "brushing my teeth'more often..

      thanx for the help spam girl.. i gotta get estogen to the tissues, also.. here's to future sucesses!3jays

  • SPAMgirl
    SPAMgirl Member Posts: 1,470
    edited October 2012

    If you are ER/pr+ , then you can't use estrogen. I have testosterone and dhea.

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited October 2012
    i'll ask about the dhea,, im out 3 years, and he said estrace (plant but still estrogen ) 2xs a wwk is ok.. im gonna ask about dhea does it come in cream? .3jays
  • tenaj
    tenaj Member Posts: 1,052
    edited October 2012

    I got the ok for estrace 2x a week when the MO switched me from femara to tamoxifen. It made a huge difference. I tried Scream cream & it didn't really help.

  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 2,631
    edited October 2012

    In response to the lidocaine cream - it is only a 5% solution.  You put it inside of yourself and around the vaginal opening about 10 min prior to penetration.  The cream will absorb into YOUR skin and not your partners.  Your partner will not know any difference at all.

    The scream cream works if used with Lidocaine cream as far as getting rid of pain during penetration.  The scream cream will allow your body to naturally lubricate due to the ingredients whereas the stuff on the shelves don't allow your body to naturally lubricate and it is a lubricant in itself.  Not sure that makes a lot of sense as I am typing it out.

    I know that I personally would not have success with scream cream without the lidocaine as I needed the extra protection from the pain and it wasn't necessarily a "lubricant" issue that was causing me the pain.  Now that we are having intercourse on a more regular basis I don't always need the lidocaine cream. 

    My OBGYN did give me a dilator to use to stretch me out - I also had my own "toys" at home but I still had the pain during penetration and while being penetrated - that was before scream cream and lidocaine cream.

  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited October 2012

    Okay. I may or may not have posted here before but I have read every post and want to add my experience(s). I am 52, 7 years post treatment, er+ & pr+. Went into chemopause then menopause. I tried every suggestion here except for the scream cream and nothing worked for the vaginal atrophy, pain and bleeding. My GP prescribed Estrace cream and I have to say even the smallest amount has helped. I no longer have any pain and have NO bleeding. I can actually enjoy sex once again and want to, I no longer avoid it. I will take the chance of what little estrogen (as he stated) is absorbed to have a better quality of life. This is my choice. I cannot believe how my life and sexual desire has taken a 180 degree turn since using the cream.

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited October 2012

    hi Jaybird: i have a question or two, if you don't mind..

     how often do you use the estrace?my gyn is an oncologist, and wants me to try..( im 3 yrs post tx, and have er&)  but he said the same thing as yours. only wants me touse it 2-3 xs a week.. do YOU use it on days w/ sex, or in between, or it doesn't matter?

      im so glad you jumped in, i'd love to learn from our experiance...3jays mom.  (you can pm me, if ya wanna.....)

  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited October 2012

    Hi 3jaysmom!

    Well, my GP not my gyne or onc prescribed the estrace cream for me. I want to be clear on that. I don't have an onc since the 4 I've had over the years have left the 'system' (gone to other states, etc.). I am at odd with my gyne and have mentioned the issues I'm having and she recommended pure vit. E oil which did nothing at all.

    I approached my GP about my "lack of desire and dryness and atrophy" and I asked about estring and he came back with trying the estrace cream. (he also gave me cialis for my "boyfriend" but I didn't have one at that time).

    I didn't know how much to use so I asked at the pharmacy and they said "use as directed" but I wasn't directed! lol. I read the directions and it stated to use (if I recall correctly) a certainamount every day for a week then every other day or every few days and then to take a week off after so many weeks.

    I found that this stuff worked right away! (for me) I used 2gm. the Max is 4 gm, the min. 1 gm.

    Immediately (within a week I had sex) I noticed a difference. No pain, no bleeding. It was a 180 degree turn from what I was experiencing before using it. I actually LIKE and WANT sex again for the first time since chemo put me into chemopause, then menopause. I use it about 3x/week but don't exactly keep track since I travel often. I have a new partner and we maybe get together once a week. I try to use it the night before I see him and maybe the night after.

    I still have hot flashes so I know the estrogen I get from estrace is not enough to erradicate menopause issues.

    I know that many here will not use estrace. It is my choice for my QOL. I have no husband (trying to date!)  and want to try to enjoy my sexuality again as I feel I lost it with my BC dx and tx. I don't use it daily and feel that the (current) 3x/week (average) that I do use it is enough for me. It is so wonderful to actually WANT to have sex again and know that it won't be painful. I was avoiding it and no longer do. I have found also that my sexuality/sexual response has improved.

    Again, this has been my experience for what is is worth.

  • zumbagirl
    zumbagirl Member Posts: 308
    edited November 2012

    I used the lidocaine for a while, and now the pain has lessened, and I agree the more frequent intercourse we have the less it hurts. My biggest problem now is zero labido. The desire is not there. I have intercourse with my husband at least every other night, for him, and to have less pain, but if I try to achieve full pleasure through intercourse, it takes for ever, and sometimes I lose interest . I even read 50 shades of grey to try and help the sad labido, but the book irritated me. Oh well, going to one of those errotic parties tomorrow night, maybe I'll find a helpful gadget Wink

  • K-Lo
    K-Lo Member Posts: 2,743
    edited November 2012

    Hi all. Originally, my GP suggested Scream Cream for orgasm, to be blunt. Like Viagra for us. Applied to clitoris 10 mins before fun.

    For me, it also helps internally. But only when I'm patient and let it soak in.
    (edited for tmi. )


    Still, estrogen internally makes the most sense to me. I just never picked it up.

    :@)

  • 3jaysmom
    3jaysmom Member Posts: 4,266
    edited November 2012

    thanx Jaybird, I haven't tried it yet.. but i got the same instructions from the onco /gyn.. I've been waiting for my hormonal levels.. I have really wanted to have sex, have the desire, but no lubrications bad..

      so, my levels made a lot of sense.. i also have a quick temper these days.. turns out, im more "man" than woman now.. my estrogen is 1/2 what it should be post meno.. 96.. way low (im careful cause it was estrogen fed) and my test. is 2xs a reg mans.. so, i desire like a normal man, and have the temper of a weightlifter.. nice mix, huh??

      so, the estrace will be safe for me, used the way you said.. starting tommorrow. hope it helps! still gotta do the other stuff with diolators, cause i havent atrophied, but, its clamping below, even the rearend part..

     onco/gyn says chemo causes that, as well as the ms, but its still better than atrophy...

     this is all the crap they never mention with bc.. just like lymohedema never happens yeah, right!!

      thanks for all your input, gals..we WILL get our (sex) lives back!!!

      3jays

  • tonyacozart
    tonyacozart Member Posts: 13
    edited November 2012

    anyone know about using oils for lubricant? like baby oil, or olive oil, even coconut oil? I have heard these are fabulous and so much better that over the counter stuff, but I have always heard not to use anything on the vajayjay that is not water soluble for risk of infection and not good for natural flora, but if we don't have any natural flora then what are we messing with? lol!! I read on another board that BC survivors are using oils, but I am hesitant...no worries about destroying a condom...HAHA

  • Moonflwr912
    Moonflwr912 Member Posts: 6,856
    edited November 2012

    Farther back in this thread there is a disscussion about coconut oil, the soft creamy kind. Pure coconut. Found at whole foods, etc. I'm sure some one who reccomended it will chime in..

  • TAB55
    TAB55 Member Posts: 198
    edited December 2012

    I finally found a pharmacy that could fill my Scream Cream prescription, and I tried it for the first time today.  Wow!  This stuff really works!!  I want to give you a complete report, so I apologize in advance if this is too much information.

    I'm on Tamoxifen, so I'm having some vaginal discharge from that, and Astroglide seems to work OK.  It's not great, but it prevents intercourse from being painful, and it's much better than KY jelly.  I applied the Scream Cream ~10 minutes before intercourse to my clitoris & vaginal opening.  It "burned" a bit at first, and I wasn't sure I liked it.  Then I remembered that another user said the burning sensation would subside, and it did. I decided to try it without any Astroglide or other lubricant to see how good it was, and it was wonderful.  It felt just like the good old days before menopause.  I was able to climax quickly (that's been nearly impossible since I went off HRT), and it was the kind of intensity that makes me fall in love with my husband all over again.  This is only my first try with the cream, but as you can imagine, I plan to keep using it.  I'll post again if my experience changes, but I highly recommend this if you can't use HRT or estrogen creams.  Good luck to all.

  • dancetrancer
    dancetrancer Member Posts: 4,039
    edited December 2012

    Thank you so much for sharing your experience tab55!

  • TAB55
    TAB55 Member Posts: 198
    edited December 2012

    Just to clarify, I could still climax without the Scream Cream, but it would take a very long time.  The Scream Cream makes it fast and intense.  (Who doesn't like that?)

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2012

    Tab~Thank you so much for sharing!



    I've had a devil of a time since menopause. KY didn't help. It was like driving a Buick through a straw.



    I can't wait to try it.



    Blessings

    Paula

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