2012 sisters

Liefie.....I love that.......will make for an interesting sweater😜

Liefie.....you've just given me a great idea for a small business venture......should I make them in PINK.......lol

Not sure any of our beautiful ladies here would go for pink liefie, but will make a special

pink one just for you.....how much ventilation do you want????? Oh I guess that depends on how many pints are downed....lol

Scottiee: Each sweater will be a masterpiece and one of a kind indeed - the amount of holes will be totally unpredictable - lol.

Tazzy, the more holes, the better the ventilation. The beer will play the most important part in the creation of the garment!

I should book my table for the One of a Kind Show which is held in Toronto every Christmas and Easter.......I will take "one of a kind" to new heights......lol



Tazzy......warm up the needles.....this could make us independently wealthy women....

either that or alcoholics🍻

Scottiee and Tazzy, seeing that I am intolerant/allergic to alcohol (yes, it makes me really sick), can I be the supervisor of this joint venture? Will make sure you don't run out of beer or yarn, will pick up the needles when they fall, and keep the spectators at bay . . .

Liefie.....you gotta deal.....may have to pick up more than the needles though😜

scottie- I've read that the Letrazole may cause nausea with alcohol. It definitely causes it and I don't like it.  I have a fridge full of alcohol that I can't drink, including white grape vodka which is super Yummy!

I finally got my BMX date! I'll be going in for mastectomy & tissue expanders on December 4th. The PS told me I'd be out of work for 2-3 weeks for this surgery, so that's a lot better than I expected. Still not sure on whether I'll have to have chemo or radiation, but I don't have the BRCA-1 or BRCA-2 gene, so that's good news of a sort...

I don't get a chance to log in here often, but I do get email updates & you are all in my thoughts!

I couldn't stand alcohol on chemo... but now do have a beer and a couple of glasses of wine at the weekends.  Sometimes a beer on Wednesday when we go for wings at the pub.

I say the more the merrier on our knitting pub crawl.

I love pubs and would love to learn how to knit!  I'm in.

How do you deal with the demoralization that comes from not being able to be superwoman anymore?

I love my career and I am very productive, but since mid-September--when bone lesions pushed me down--I can't perform like I was.  It's upsetting and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.  Honestly, this attack on my professonal identity is worse than cancer.  Think I'm kidding?  I'm not.  I don't know how many folks here are careeer drven, but I am really having a hard time with this.

Any advice?

Maryah,

It is absolutely horrific.  I was moving along implementing a critical project and now I have to face facts and hand it over to someone else to finish implementation.  It is depressing, makes me feel like a complete and utter failure--though the entire back end of this thing is up and moving.  If the cancer had not gone to the bone I would be cruising.  I elt so good on Monday and Tuesday--I announced to staff I would at least be in the office three days a week, if not four.  And--BAM!--this bone lesion continues to cause pain and pushes me back.

Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to pick up my Tamoxifen renewal.  I was greeted by a surprise--the doc has renewed my Tylenol w/ Codeine--WITH A QUANTITY OF 250.  I was taken aback--I never saw that much Tylenol w/Codeine in one place even in my nursing days.  Once I got home I thought, "Well, I guess this might be his way of telling me that this is here to stay."  I'm crushed.  Not even mad anymore.  Just completely demoralized.

Scorch

Oh Scorchy - I can't quite compare, but I know how you feel. I think we all feel that on some level. Before cancer kicked me in the face, I tried my best to be superwoman. I am fortunate that I have a job I can do from a home office - which cuts out a commute most days (I used to trek into our NYC office once a week - but haven't been since chemo started), and allows me to pop in on my kids throughout the day when I have a few minutes - as well as be the one to pick them up from school or take them to the dr. I was very driven at work, always taking on extra projects. And I was very focused on maximizing time with my kids when I wasn't working. Now I find my performance at work is not where I want it to be - nor is my performance and participation as mommy where I want it to be. The work thing was made crystal clear to me this week when I sat down to complete my self-evaluation form in anticipation of my end of year performance review. When forced to answer the questions and grade myself on my annual goals, I realized I was not happy with the true answers. But what can you do... You get thrown this curve ball in life and you have to deal with it. Other areas of your life will have to suffer. But if that means you give your all to kicking cancer's ass - then so be it. I am so sorry you have this pain to deal with on top of everything else. It really stinks. The only advice I can offer is to cut yourself some slack. Easier said than done though - I know. I'm going to guess that your normal performance at work was 125%, and that you're slowed down cancer-pace is 100% - which is likely still above where some of your colleagues are. Time to stop measuring yourself against your very high standards, and drop the bar a bit... Wish there was something more helpful I could say... Just know that you're not alone and that all of us here think you are a superstar! Hugs!!!

Scorchy and Maryah, by no stretch of my imagination can I compare my situation to yours. You are both obviously very strong, driven women whose careers are very important to them. Then cancer came and wreaked such havoc, changing everything. Nothing I can say will make it better, but I hear and understand the loss that you are experiencing. Maybe it's time to slow down, take stock, and change a few things - who knows? It is such a struggle and a process, and each of us has to work through it in our own way. Big hugs to you both!

Websister, I totally agree with what Tazzy said. It is in helping others that we find our true purpose - you are certainly a shining example of that! Wishing you a good weekend with minimal SE's!