2012 sisters

Scottiee1

Liefie.....I love that.......will make for an interesting sweater😜

liefie

Karen, I just love your upbeat attitude, and how you didn't allow this thing to thwart your plans. What an example! I found that going away for a weekend during tx was so good and stress-relieving for my DH too. We did that often. There was one weekend in Seattle when I was really too exhausted to walk even a block, and we had to take a taxi everywhere we would normally walk. Just getting away, doing 'normal' things, and the change of scenery made the time go faster so that treatment could be over. Good advice!

Scottiee, it will definitely be a summer garment - more venting holes than sweater. I can do with one of those, especially during the Tamoxifen flushes - LOL! Will you be selling them?

Scottiee1

Liefie.....you've just given me a great idea for a small business venture......should I make them in PINK.......lol

liefie

Scottiee: PINK - why not? Will contrast nicely with my flushed red face and neck - lol!

Scottiee1

Not sure any of our beautiful ladies here would go for pink liefie, but will make a special

pink one just for you.....how much ventilation do you want????? Oh I guess that depends on how many pints are downed....lol

Tazzy

Oh you girls have been making me chuckle.   My knitting I dont even need beer to have them ending up with tons of holes.... maybe beer will help me

liefie

Scottiee: Each sweater will be a masterpiece and one of a kind indeed - the amount of holes will be totally unpredictable - lol.

Tazzy, the more holes, the better the ventilation. The beer will play the most important part in the creation of the garment!

Tazzy

Well I start on tamoxifen mid December so maybe I will need one too.

Scottiee1

I should book my table for the One of a Kind Show which is held in Toronto every Christmas and Easter.......I will take "one of a kind" to new heights......lol



Tazzy......warm up the needles.....this could make us independently wealthy women....

either that or alcoholics🍻

Tazzy

Scottie :  I am happy with either one

liefie

Scottiee and Tazzy, seeing that I am intolerant/allergic to alcohol (yes, it makes me really sick), can I be the supervisor of this joint venture? Will make sure you don't run out of beer or yarn, will pick up the needles when they fall, and keep the spectators at bay . . .

Chrisrenee77

Liefie- can co-supervise? I can't drink either now that i'm on Femara, it makes me absolutely sick. I can smell it and it makes me want gag. I used to love a good margarita but I haven't had one in 6 mos. Really miss it.

Scottiee1

Liefie.....you gotta deal.....may have to pick up more than the needles though😜

Scottiee1

Chrisrenee.....sorry you can't indulge anymore.....I used to be a social drinker (red wine)

Since BC ......almost nothing, but when I do have a glass, it tastes even better than before. Maybe Letrozole is having the opposite effect on me.

Chrisrenee77

scottie- I've read that the Letrazole may cause nausea with alcohol. It definitely causes it and I don't like it.  I have a fridge full of alcohol that I can't drink, including white grape vodka which is super Yummy!

Scottiee1

Chrisrenee.....no nausea for me.

unowhoandwhy

I finally got my BMX date! I'll be going in for mastectomy & tissue expanders on December 4th. The PS told me I'd be out of work for 2-3 weeks for this surgery, so that's a lot better than I expected. Still not sure on whether I'll have to have chemo or radiation, but I don't have the BRCA-1 or BRCA-2 gene, so that's good news of a sort...

I don't get a chance to log in here often, but I do get email updates & you are all in my thoughts!

Chrisrenee77

scottie- so jealous. who knows maybe when i'm done with all this I might not ever want a drink. But I could definitely become an alcoholic in 5 years. lol

Tazzy

I couldn't stand alcohol on chemo... but now do have a beer and a couple of glasses of wine at the weekends.  Sometimes a beer on Wednesday when we go for wings at the pub.

I say the more the merrier on our knitting pub crawl.

cowpower

I teach at least three knitting classes per week and I love pubs. I will come along and fix all your mistakes (limited to knitting!) without crushing your enthusiasm.

maryah930

I love pubs and would love to learn how to knit!  I'm in.

websister

Wow, pubs and knitting, maybe knitting pubs could overtake sports pubs in the not too distant future if we all get out there



Liefie - thanks for sharing the recipe, looks wonderful and not all that damaging with the calorie count.



I won't be able to catch up with all but have read through. Thank you all for the good thoughts sent to 'Benny' for her first chemo yesterday, she did so well, I really enjoyed visiting with and distracting her through the morning - how wonderful that we have this forum to connect with and support each other.



I received a call yesterday that they have a place for my mother and will be transferring her there today, so I will pace myself over the next few days to try to help her get settled in with her things. Neulasta shot is today, last one I hope.



Take care, everyone.

Scorchy

How do you deal with the demoralization that comes from not being able to be superwoman anymore?

I love my career and I am very productive, but since mid-September--when bone lesions pushed me down--I can't perform like I was.  It's upsetting and I'm having a hard time dealing with it.  Honestly, this attack on my professonal identity is worse than cancer.  Think I'm kidding?  I'm not.  I don't know how many folks here are careeer drven, but I am really having a hard time with this.

Any advice?

maryah930

Scorchy - I'm right there with you.  I am at the age where I do not even try to be superwoman, but I love my career.  I went from flying every week, staying in hotels, being on conference call, reviewing med recs and data and writing reports, to being homebound. I started back to work, but my travel is going to be limited because of chemo.  Nothing has ever limited my career/travel/etc. prior to this. I agree, I feel like the impact on my career, which I love, has depressed me more than the diagnosis.  I can't give advice, but know that there are others out there sharing your frustrations.

Scorchy

Maryah,

It is absolutely horrific.  I was moving along implementing a critical project and now I have to face facts and hand it over to someone else to finish implementation.  It is depressing, makes me feel like a complete and utter failure--though the entire back end of this thing is up and moving.  If the cancer had not gone to the bone I would be cruising.  I elt so good on Monday and Tuesday--I announced to staff I would at least be in the office three days a week, if not four.  And--BAM!--this bone lesion continues to cause pain and pushes me back.

Yesterday I went to the pharmacy to pick up my Tamoxifen renewal.  I was greeted by a surprise--the doc has renewed my Tylenol w/ Codeine--WITH A QUANTITY OF 250.  I was taken aback--I never saw that much Tylenol w/Codeine in one place even in my nursing days.  Once I got home I thought, "Well, I guess this might be his way of telling me that this is here to stay."  I'm crushed.  Not even mad anymore.  Just completely demoralized.

Scorch

maryah930

Scorch

I had to turn over one of my clinical sites to another person, I have had to request co-CRAs to come out with me for Dec and Jan.  I have been doing this since 1998 and have NEVER had to request either of these.  I also fear chemo brain. I will not be able to perform my job with the level of detail needed if that occurs and it scares me.

I wish I could do more for you, but I can only say if you need to vent, I'm here or you can PM me if you would like.

Mary

Anonymous

Oh Scorchy - I can't quite compare, but I know how you feel. I think we all feel that on some level. Before cancer kicked me in the face, I tried my best to be superwoman. I am fortunate that I have a job I can do from a home office - which cuts out a commute most days (I used to trek into our NYC office once a week - but haven't been since chemo started), and allows me to pop in on my kids throughout the day when I have a few minutes - as well as be the one to pick them up from school or take them to the dr. I was very driven at work, always taking on extra projects. And I was very focused on maximizing time with my kids when I wasn't working. Now I find my performance at work is not where I want it to be - nor is my performance and participation as mommy where I want it to be. The work thing was made crystal clear to me this week when I sat down to complete my self-evaluation form in anticipation of my end of year performance review. When forced to answer the questions and grade myself on my annual goals, I realized I was not happy with the true answers. But what can you do... You get thrown this curve ball in life and you have to deal with it. Other areas of your life will have to suffer. But if that means you give your all to kicking cancer's ass - then so be it. I am so sorry you have this pain to deal with on top of everything else. It really stinks. The only advice I can offer is to cut yourself some slack. Easier said than done though - I know. I'm going to guess that your normal performance at work was 125%, and that you're slowed down cancer-pace is 100% - which is likely still above where some of your colleagues are. Time to stop measuring yourself against your very high standards, and drop the bar a bit... Wish there was something more helpful I could say... Just know that you're not alone and that all of us here think you are a superstar! Hugs!!!

Tazzy

Websister:  that’s so wonderful you were able to sit with ‘benny’ to distract and support her through this.      Good news that they have somewhere for your Mum – remember to treat yourself gently too.

Scorchy/maryah:  sorry you are going through this – I am not as career driven as you guys, but did find it hard to just let everyday chores be taken over.    (((hugs)))).

Scorchy:  (((((double gentle hugs)))))

Sending love and positive thoughts to all xxx  

liefie

Scorchy and Maryah, by no stretch of my imagination can I compare my situation to yours. You are both obviously very strong, driven women whose careers are very important to them. Then cancer came and wreaked such havoc, changing everything. Nothing I can say will make it better, but I hear and understand the loss that you are experiencing. Maybe it's time to slow down, take stock, and change a few things - who knows? It is such a struggle and a process, and each of us has to work through it in our own way. Big hugs to you both!

Websister, I totally agree with what Tazzy said. It is in helping others that we find our true purpose - you are certainly a shining example of that! Wishing you a good weekend with minimal SE's!

KarenZ0305

Scorchy/Maryah930 - I feel for you. I was never so in love with my job until last year when I finished school and started a whole new career path that I was loving then bam this hit! I've been on leave but I am using the time to study to get more credentialing so when this is done I can maybe get a job at a local hospital or surgi center.



Maryah can I ask what you do? I used to work for a company with CRAs and am curious. You can PM me if you don't feel comfortable putting it out here. 😃