Starting Chemo July 2012
Comments
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Lifeonitdsside - Margaritas sound good! I look forward to them tasting good, too!
positive note - my family doctor nagged me into cutting back from 2 glasses of wine with dinner to not more thatn one each day (a consequence of my advancing years...old folks can't andle alcohol as easily as younger ones...possibility of liver damage). I did it, but I kind of missed that 2nd one. Now wine doesn't tast good at all; only water tastes good.
Nat
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Lifeonitsside, I'm sorry you had to break up with your boyfriend, but it sure sounds like you did the right thing. If he doesn't want commitment, he's not "boyfriend" material. It's hard though.
I had to divorce my husband a few years ago because he wanted the freedom to screw around. It was a shock, and leaving was the hardest thing I have ever done. It was not a straight progression. I felt like going back to him so many times, and tried to "work it out" with him, which was crazymaking. He would have been fine staying with me, so long as he was free to do whatever he wanted. What kind of relationship is that? I am married to a wonderful, committed man now, and even if I weren't, I think I would be better off single than in a relationship with an uncommitted man.
Ann- I hope you can get more information. No point in assuming the worst in the absence of information.
Boobzilla, just glad to see you back on here again. I was a little worried.
And now, I'm off to the sixth and final round!!! My tumor has stopped shrinking. Went from 7cm to 2.5cm in the first two rounds, and has been stuck there. But at least I got a good response at first, and I'm convinced the chemo has had some systemic benefit.
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Climbing in to Stride's pocket to keep her company at her FINAL CHEMO!! YAY!! Another one flying the chemo nest!
For those that have been going thru those dark times my heart goes out to you. Another wonderful SE of this damn disease. It's bad enough that life throws us curves but when you add that to coping with just HAVING BC the SE's from the treatments and the meds that we take to deal with the treatments... well it just plain SUCKS. -
Hi Ladies - I also had my last Taxotere treatment on Monday. I am so happy!!! Just Herceptin from now on. I am feeling very wiped out today, so please forgive me if I don't comment on everyone, and there are a re few typing errors!
Susan - I am so sorry about your crown. It seems funny they can't just replace it even if you are on chemo. It's a long time since I've had a crown, but all the drilling has already been done. so surely it is just a matter of putting a new one on? Did you try the sweet almond oil for your itchy scalp?
Boobzilla - I am sorry your brother has not been as supportive as you'd hoped. You have to play these little games to keep your family in a good mental place. Some members of your family will be able to handle the real facts, but others just can't accept reality. If they don't think or hear about it - it hasn't happened! Just tell your brother the more upbeat things if you can find any!!
Citi - sorry I haven't read your article yet but will try to do so soon.
Emilybrooke - hope you find a good support group. Let me know if it helps. I have been thinking of going to one myself, as you ladies have been so marvellous.
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Congratulations Maddie! You will be surprised how quickly you start to feel like yourself again.
I am 5 weeks, 1 day PFC and this past weekend I actually had enough energy to take care of housework and cooking without collapsing from exhaustion at the end of the day. (Or even in the middle of the day.)
Best of all, my taste buds and appetite have both returned. OMG food tastes SO GOOD now! Even a simple thing like a chicken sandwich has my mouth watering lol. -
PAEagles fan - thanks so much. Can't wait for my food to taste like normal!
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Shit! Chemo was cancelled again this week. My counts are still too low. Last week I was fine with cancelling because I was really tired, but I was ready today. We were going to take the teenagers to Universal Studios this weekend for Halloween scare and I was ready to relax in the hotel room while they played. Now I don't think I should be going anywhere because maybe I've been doing too much. I think I want to have a good drink too.
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Remember-Camp Hilton next July. Hot and cold running maid service. Nothing pink.
Had Taxol 3 and Herceptin 4 today. Awake, guess steroidal, moody, angry at #%*^& cancer and SEs and chemo and all related. Want one day of normal. Just one day. Start neupogen tomorrow.
My therapist told me yesterday it was healthy I want to punch people. I wanted to punch him.
Prior to Mega Mass and friends moving into my body I looked for pink ribbons on purchases (still do). But it never occurred to me how the constant "pinkness" felt to those with the disease. I am grateful to those who donate, am so proud of my daughter and her project/therapy, and am honored daily by my faculty, staff, and students who support me during this process. But I still want to punch someone.
Sleep to my friends.
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A friend who has been on this journey pointed out how many of these pink things really don't contribute to the cause, they just use the pink ribbon to get people to buy their product without any contribution.
I, too, am sick of Pinktober and Pinkwashing. All it does is remind me that I have breast cancer.
Punching sounds good. -
Was away a few days and wow, so much going on. I'm so sorry about the sad experiences some of you were having. I wish that I could just give hugs to everyone when you're feeling down. I know that a hug really helps me. For those finishing up chemo, a big Hooray!!!!!!
Just finished Taxol #6 yesterday! Yay!!!! Only 6 more Taxol to go and completing Herceptin (either weekly like now or ever 3 weeks)!!!! My echocardiogram I took last Thursday reflects my heart has not changed at all since the baseline echocardiogram they took in June. Another Yay! I was so worried that there would be a change and I wouldn't be able to continue Herceptin as a result.
I just heard something sweet yesterday. Our 2 little ones attend a Catholic School (the public schools are horrific in our area, and since both had experienced some delays as a result of arriving in the U.S. without our language skills, etc.. we decided that at least for a few years we wanted them in smaller classrooms to get some one-on-one attention and attending school a little longer each day). Well, each morning they have a morning prayer and I was told by one of the teachers yesterday that each morning the entire school says a prayer for me and the thought is how could prayers not be answered when they're coming from these sweet little voices. Oh Geez! The waterworks wanted to start so I had to leave. It was the best start to sitting in the BGC.
Take care everyone!
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Teeballmom - That's so beautiful and sweet! I'm sure those little voices are reaching the right ears and giving you strength.
I'm going in today for TC treatment 5 of 6. One more right after Halloween and I'm done! Party planning is beginning.
Feel like I'm coming down with a cold and sore throat today and hoping it's not bad enough to interfer with the BGC today. Could not sleep last night, not an unusual occurrence for me. I ended up blogging and painting last night, which helped clear my head. But afraid it exacerbated my feeling icky. The weird change in weather here and all the emotional crap hasn't helped.
Don't know how you all do it when you've got double the treatments or more than I do. You ladies are an inspiration.
-lee- -
Life, I gave up trying to sleep the night before treatments when I had #3 & 4 done. I would cross stitch, watch Law & Order or catch cat naps. Hope your cold symptoms are just allergies acting up and nothing postpones #5 for you. Once you get the treatment schedule set up any delay is unacceptable... just forge ahead and get it OVER WITH. (I'm that way with rads right now.)
I love the gals in this group. I went from laughing at Suzanne's MegaMass & friends punching ppl to crying about teeballmom's sweet little cherubs saying prayers for her.
I am selective about what Pink things irritate me. Each year our State Capitol fountain is dyed pink for the month of October and I love it. (Have for the past 5 years since DH started working there.) After October, it's drained and closed for the winter. I guess it's a matter of raising awareness that's important to me. I tell every woman I know to get their mammograms done because I had no idea I had a lump. It was deep and small... it's a grade 2 tumor so I feel that it was found before it had a chance to spread. I know there is a lot of talk out there that women are undergoing "unnecessary" surgery for DCIS lumps that may never cause problems or spread, but who wants to take that chance? Cancer is Cancer IMHO and it should be treated as early as possible to give the best chance of surviving it.
*getting off my soapbox now*
Will leave you with a shot of our state's lovely capitol.
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mamabr, that sucks you got delayed twice!
teeballmom, what a sweet story about the kids.
PAEaglesFan, thanks for the pink fountain picture. It's a nice gesture that isn't trying to sell people some pink trinket. I hope/wish they back it up with some research $$$$.
Susan, you crack me up with wanting to punch the therapist.
I'm off for Taxol #2 today. Not really feeling recovered from #1 yet, so I'm kind of cranky about this.
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Today marks 3 weeks since my final chemo -- and thus the day that my MO said I could have a needle biopsy on the nodule on my thyroid that showed up on a breast MRI. I went in for the needle biopsy (which was incredibly easy) this afternoon. Now I wait 2 to 4 working days for the pathologist to so his (or her) magic. I understand that most of these thyroid things are benign, so I am doing my best to assume that is true of mine.
I really want to reschedule the cruise I had to cancel because of chemo. I hope that by the time I have the thyroid results I will also have my readiation treatment schedule and I can start looking forward to a cruise in December.
Hugs to all of you!
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The pink fountain is beautiful. Today when I was @ the cancer center getting my neupogen injection I bought 4 pink light bulbs despite my saying yesterday no more pink. But-the money is for the indigent fund. And now my daughter and one of her friends are @ my dining room table working on the run for the indigent fund. So pink it is.
For those finished with chemo--YeaH!!!! For those on radiation--how is it?
I did have to leave work early today. Excuse was the injection. Reality--was overcome with emotional crap. Hurting from the chemo. Wanted to crawl under a rock.
s
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Virginiab: I'm praying your thyroid results come back benign. I had to have 2 thyroid nodules biopsied during the summer before my chemo began and luckily the results were benign. I was also told most come back benign. Where are you going on your cruise????
Take care.
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Had Taxol #3 today - one more left!!! Had the darnest time with labs today. They got the IV in right away and had a blood return, but just couldn't get the blood to flow quickly enough. The lab called twice to say what they sent over was clotted. So the IV line was tugged at and prodded resulting in a very painful hand. To make it worse the nurse kept pushing all drugs really quick. I got such a jolt of pain with Benadryl that my arm flew up involuntary. Oh well it's done...
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teeballmom--
I love to cruise and don't care too much where we go. We will cruise out of Florida, probably Miami. I can get free airfare from Southwest with my points from my SW credit card. So we'll fly into Ft Lauderdale.
I'm guessing I may be pretty exhausted, so may stay on the ship in a couple of the ports and maybe look for a fairly passive excursion, like a bus tour, in one port. We always enjoy the ship when it's fairlly empty in port and in ports we've been to before we often just get off for a short walk, then get right back on the ship. If I can get clear to travel by Dec 7, we can take an 8-day cruise on a new ship, the Carnival Breeze. Otherwise, we'll probably take a 6-day ccruise on the same ship the following week. If we can't make that date, we will have to make different vacation plans, because the cruises that include Christmas or New Years are riduculously expensive and we have to take a vacation by the end of the year for my partner's work.
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PAeaglesFan - that is a very pretty pink fountain...next week we have Philly friends visiting us. I really want to bring the kids out there to see an Eagles game and the Liberty Bell. Maybe next October, I'll appreciate the pink more when it's all in the past.
Teeballmom - your story was precious. Children are so sincere. My 10 year old nephew had his mom order pink wristbands and put my name on it. He wears the wristband every day. He lives down the street from us and it warms my heart when I see him.
Life - I hope you are getting through this week okay, I can only imagine it has been a hard one. Hopefully you can get back to teaching art with your children. I think art is one of the most important classes children can have.
Virginiab - prayers for good medical results and your December cruise.
Thinking of all of you. Thank you for being an amazing support group!
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Count me in on the benign-nodules-on-the -thyroid club! Weird - didn't realize it was so common. Virginiab - sending positive thoughts your way - and hoping your results come back benign as well!
Are you ladies having fuzzy little hair grow back? It's weird, hair is starting to grow. Also getting some longer fine fuzzy pieces growing in.
All of you that have started radiation - how is it going? How are you feeling? Are there side effects? Can't wait until we are all on the other side of chemo with you!
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VirginiaB - hope you have good news about the thyroid today. I had fine-needle biopsy on mine in 07, they couldn't decide on the results, and had the nodule removed. It was benign, and eventually the scar faded. I NEVER worried about cancer at that time...don't know why...just figured ti wouldn't happen to me!
Thought the same when I had the fine-needle biopsy on my breast. Oh, well.
Thank goodness for this group...I share stuff I don't even tell my family. Noone in my family knew I had thyroid surgery(but my DH) untill it was over. Kept them from worrying.
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Viginia - hope you have good news today!
PAeagles - what a beautiful picture, thanks for sharing it!
Susan - big hug to you
Virginia- hubby and I missed the family vacation cruise this summer because of surgery/chemo. Your post reminded me that I better start looking forward to next summer and start thinking about where we want to go.
So I heard from the radiation onc on Wednesday, hence my two day absence - and the 'Tumor Board' recommend that I have 28 days of radiation to my underarm area. The biggest factor in their decision: my age. I spoke to my breast surgeon yesterday and she explained that the rad onc contacted her and sher voted NO. She explained that because of my clear margins, I had a BMX, I will have 8 rounds of chemo, Tamoxifen for 5 years and Herceptin for 1 year that she felt confident that I didn't need radiation. I guess the rest of the voters felt differently. I am not sure what to do at this point. I know that once this area is radiated I can never have it there again, I worry about upping my chances of lymphedema, I know that the chances are low but I worry it could lead to some other cancer diagnosis. Finally, I know that 50% of patients go on to have problems with the reconsruction. I have a big decision to make. Just as I was beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel - with two more treatments to go - this comes along to knock me back down --- oh, and my bloodwork yesterday showed that my liver enzymes are still elevated so now I'm just waiting for the onc to call and tell me that I probably will not be having treatment on Monday =( Grrrr.... thanking you ladies for letting me vent
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ItsAll Temporary--
Speaking of weird hair-- I have some very light colored hair (previous hair is/medium ash brown with some gray). I'm not sure if this hair is white or pale gray, and it started soon after I started losing my "regular" hair. It is very sparse, and wants to stand up straight. It gives a nice Mad Scientist look, I think!
EmilyBrooke--
What a dillema you have now! It can be good to just take your time to make whatever decision is right for you. In the end, you just have to take in all the information from various sources, sift through it, then trust yourself. I'll be thinking of you!
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Mamabr - you poor thing - my heart bleeds for you. When they told me I may not be able to have my 3rd chemo as my bloods were low, I could have freaked out, as I just wanted to get it over with. Take it easy and they may come up to acceptable levels. Mine came up so I could have the 3rd chemo. My Oncologist said there is really nothing you can do to encourage them, they just come up on their own.
emilybrooke- that is harsh!!!! What a decision to make. Looking at your history it does seem a bit of overkill. I have great faith in the Herceptin which you appear to be on. An acquaintance was in stage 4 with no hope of a cure, but the Herceptin has really worked and she is 2 years cancer free now. I also see they removed 10 nodes which is quite a few, and they were all clear. I would ask someone who has had radiation before you make this decision - maybe it will help you make up your mind. Good luck emily - let us know what you decide.
teball mom - I am sorry you are having so many Taxol treatments. Are they giving you one a week to reduce the SE's?
virginiaab - hope you get on your cruise - it sounds exactly what you need. I am also going away, and am packing when I have the strength. This chemo was bad, and every orifice was bleeding. It was awful. I feel a bit more human today, although I have had to rest a lot. I can't wait for our holiday. It is a good thing we paid for extra luggage for me, as there seems to be a lot of disinfectant and hand gel!! Good luck with your thyroid results - thinking of you
Road warrior - I am sorry about the IV - that sounded really sore. Hang your hand over the side of the chair next time for a few minutes to bring the veins up.
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I just got an email saying that someone I don't actually know is having surgery for pancreatic cancer today and asking us all to send healing energy, using a song I had never heard, so I went to check it out. It starts "This body is healing..." and I liked it a lot. The title of the song is "Connected" and the artist is Celia. If that sounds interesting, search for it. The lyrics are on her website, as well as the opportunity to listen to the whole song for free. I'm putting it on my mp3 player.
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Ii got a call from the MO's nurse to let me know the thyroid biopsy was benign. Whew! Now I just have to wait for my radiation schedule to start making vacation reservations....
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woohoo!!! Virginiab - nice way to end the week. Congrats on the good news
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Virginiab - Yay!
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We are all celebrating in Virginiab's happy news of benign thyriod nodule!! Because we all need to have good news, both for ourselves and for each other.
Vieginiab .... have a wonderful weekend with that worry off your mind.
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YEAH for benign Virginiab! We love benign and the end of a round of chemo or radiation or any treatment! A happy time for sure.
Off to Albuquerque to take my UNM senior to Lion King. Her favorite. Our 3rd time to see it live. So excited to see it one more time.
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