2012 sisters

Sleeping in spurts Eat/ Meds/brish floess. Isolated. 😳😳😳😳😳

I have found my BC has shined what I call a "light of truth" on the people in my world. Some people have shocked me - in a good way - with the friendship and understanding they have come forward with. And others have turned into people I don't want in my world right now. It has been interesting to see. Sorry to those of you not getting the supper you need from certain people. It really stinks! But here us for sure the place to come to get support!



And contests to those of you hitting milestones in your journey and txt! As for me resting out the wave of AC 4. Like you juneau - resting, snacking and rinsing... Hugs to all!

Juneaubugg - hoping that your sleep comes in longer batches, I don't know if that works for you but it sure works for me ... the isolation is cut by being able to come here and chat, isn't it?  I am also sleeping a bit at a time, and waiting for the steroid let-down, but coming here makes me feel just  little less isolated.  Sending you hugs, hope you feel better.  

Ok ladies.... Where on Earth did y'all find scarves for your bald head (in the US)?

Tazzy, thanks for the welcome!  I work with little ones (toddlers/preschoolers), so I do need to keep that smile on my face and my energy up as much as possible.  But, on the other hand, they keep my mind off the crappy stuff going on!

I hope that everyone finds some solace today.

I had a college Roomate who got BC at 45 and she had 2 little ones and I had 3 under 10 and working at the time, she lived about an hour away. I remember visiting her, but, really don't think I had a clue what she might have needed from me, or what besides visits and kids together in the backyard I did for her. I did listen to her talk of the side effects of chemo and her mothers cancer etc, and maybe that was enough. I don't know- it haunts me a bit now 15 years later.



I also got a letter from an old collegue who had had BC a long time ago and went through a lot with it, got a recurrence, eventually got a bilateral mastectomy. I wrote her about my BC and got back a very delayed letter that I read on my way to a doctor visit. I thought it was a really odd unsupportive letter. I let my husband read it- he thought it was a wonderful and totally appropriate letter.! Weeks later I re- read it ( obviously in a different state of mind) I found it really loving and reaching out in her own way. What she was capable of doing.



My wise mother told me when I was 20 that men are not intuitive, tell them what you need or you will be disappointed. Help them with socialization.



We all respond differently to our own illness, we have to help our friends figure this out also. They can't read our minds necessarily, even we have trouble with this. Try to know which friend can bring you dinner, and which friend can spend 5 hours at chemo with you, and which one is good for a walk on your upbeat day. When you value their strengths and weaknesses you value your own. We are all too hard on ourselves and others.



What a journey, it has certainly changed how I see the world and how I think of responding to friends in need.

mbf:  Welome to the group!  My eyebrows and eyelashes just starting coming out (kept them all through AC and then Taxol #3 and they started disappearing).  The hair on my head didn't bother me as much as I thought it would, but the eyelash thing for me is very devastating.  My lashes have always been long and now my eyes look lost without them.

Mrs Cich:  Someone at my husbands work sewed 3 scarves for me and I bought 3 hats.  

Take care!!!

Mrscich, another place for cute hats, scarves etc. is www.headcovers.com - I ordered a few things from them too.

As for the eyelashes and eyebrows, my experience was that 8 weeks after finishing chemo, I had almost nothing except for a very few eyebrow hairs here and there. Now, five months after, my lashes are back as they've always been - oh what a joy to be able to put on mascara again! My left eyebrow still has a bit of a hole in the middle that I have to fill in. I had them waxed and tinted last week for the first time. They can fall out again, so I'm waiting to see if they will hang in there. Hope so!

To get cancer, is to look death in the eye, so to speak, and to be confronted with mortality in a very real way. In our society we are almost denying that death is a normal part of life. It is not nice to think about it, but it is a fact that none of us will leave this life alive. That's why people are so uncomfortable when confronted with somebody who has cancer. They don't want to be reminded that there is an end to life eventually, and they cannot handle this. It is so unfortunate that relationships suffer because of this. Friends and family 'abandon' the one who needs their support most, while all that person wants is to be surrounded by loving, caring people who listen more than they speak. They don't have to understand, because they can never really understand, but by taking care of children, cooking a few meals, doing some laundry, cleaning or just visiting/phoning they can be of such great help. It seems here we will also have to be our own best advocates, and tell people what we need in our situation, that their presence is appreciated, and that we need to feel loved and supported in this scary situation.

mbf, 

 I started loosing eyebrows as I aged.  Never had any luck with pencils.  Hand not very steady.  I now use small stiff  brush and draw them on using brown, black or mixture of mascara.  It's the best I can do.  Tried the stencils, but you have to hold them on with one hand and paint with the other.  Now just use brush.

I mostly wore hats from chemobeanies.com. I ordered four different ones and was able to have something to go with any outfit. I highly recommend them. I'll probably keep two of them, and will be looking for someone/some place to donate the other two.



I lost my eyelashes about eight weeks after I finished chemo, but they started coming in almost immediately. They're now about a eighth of an inch long, they look so weird! I'm just wearing eyeliner. My eyebrows also thinned, and are coming back in, but aren't even. I don't like how drawn-on eyebrows look, so I'm just going natural. My MIL's eyebrows thinned nearly to being gone, and she's never done chemo. I figure if she can deal with it, I can too.

Liefie, love your comment about people's discomfort with cancer.  I am having issues with co-workers and some close friends and I think it is becuase they either don't know what to say to me, or are afraid to talk to me.  It makes me sad because I would love to have a conversation about something other than my treatment! 

I am having a bad day today already.  I am not sleeping well since my surgery last Friday, partly because I am uncomfortable and partly because I cannot turn off my brain!  I am regretting my decision to go with lumpectomy, and when I do sleep I have dreams of the cancer coming back again and having to do this all over, like a bad nightmare!  I am not sure what I will do, I get my path results Monday.   Every time I am in the shower I find myself crying uncontrollably, and I can't stop thinking about it.  Will having a mastectomy make these fears go away?  I am not sure I can live with the possiblity hanging over my head...  my husband and my sister tell me I made the right decision, but they do not understand.  My sister has been distant throughout most of my treatment and is only recently been trying to help and calling more.  I think it is because my mom had to go back to Florida to deal with her own medical issues and sister promised to help me. And my husband is supportive no matter what I decide but he keeps saying if I change my mind and have a MX now, it wil only make the process longer and mean more surgeries!  They just don't understand.  I want this to be over, I feel like I have lost a year of my life.  I just don't know...  

I think today I will do something for me.. retail therapy maybe?  My BS told me no driving until I could use the arm...  since my LX last friday, very sore and don't think I will be able to reach the steering wheel...  Maybe I will convince my daughter to skip classes this morning and go shopping?  I'm sure that won't be hard 

On the hair stuff --- I lost my eyebrows and eyelashes about two weeks after my last chemo.  For me, this was more emotionally painful than losing my hair.   I am now 6 weeks post chemo and the brows are starting to grow back a little. And my hair is coming back in.  I look like a baby after they loose whatever hair they were born with! And it is soft like a baby's head.  My husband keeps petting me!   I would recommend the Look Good Feel Better classes from the American Cancer Society.  I went to one when the lashes started to fall out (I am a BIG fan of mascara! ).  They taught me how to do the eye makeup so my eyes look good even though no lashes, but I don't look like a clown wearing too much makeup!  THey also explained how to draw on the eyebrows so they look natural!  There are some tips available on the website www.lookgoodfeelbetter.org and you can find a local class. 

Thanks for listening! I love all of you and wish that I could remember you all by name!  The list of names on my Prayer list is growing, found out an old friend is battling BC as well.  And You are all included as I pray for every women who deals with Breast Cancer, past, present and future!  

<<<<<,HUGS TO ALL >>>>>

Cindyl - well said.  Chrissera - hugs.

Thanks Tazzy .... I love the "group hug"!!!  Gave me my big smile this morning. :-)

Dear Chrissera, your feelings of uncertainty about your decision are so human, but I'm sure at the time of decision you felt that that was the right way to go for a very good reason. At the moment I also have doubts about whether I should have had a BMX instead of UMX. The drs told me that the chance of cancer in the healthy breast is slim, but I read that once you've had it in one breast, you have a higher risk in the other breast . . . I guess this fear of recurrence is the 'new normal', that we have to learn to live with. My take on it is that worry will not change the outcome of anything, but it will make you miserable. So worry only when you have something to worry about. Once you wrap your head around that, it is not so difficult to do. See the glass as half full rather than half empty, and list the positive things and blessings in your life. There are so many once you start thinking about it, and it will lift your spirit. Best wishes for a good path report too. ((((HUGS!))))

Thanks for the group hug, Tazzy!