Calling all TNs

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  • BernieEllen
    BernieEllen Member Posts: 2,445
    edited September 2012

    Thanks for the info on the FB group - only the administrator can allow people onto to the site.

    My favourite dumbass comment.  An aquaintance (and she knew what I had)  said - "Bernie you look great, you have lost so much weight.  what diet have you been on?" Her face - when i replied "Chemo" 

  • BernieEllen
    BernieEllen Member Posts: 2,445
    edited September 2012
    They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
    Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
    At the going down of the sun and in the morning,
    We will remember them.
  • Luah
    Luah Member Posts: 1,541
    edited September 2012

    Hope: Good to hear from you. Maybe that combo is wiping out those darn cancer cells as much as you. Take it easy, be good to yourself.

    Tazzy: I saw that 102 Minutes that Changed the World too. Very powerful and moving... it really put you in the horror of the moment... with original video shot by New Yorkers that tragic morning. Even as far away as here, I will never forget the feeling of vulnerability, with our city towers... and Canada's decision to take in all those potentially threatening flights when US airspace closed. 

  • Fighter_34
    Fighter_34 Member Posts: 834
    edited September 2012

    9/11 I will never forget that day. I was pregnant and in pure panic mode as soon as we crossed the 14th street bridge one of the passenger in the carpool said I think a plane just went down on the Pentagon. We made it to work and everyone was running from work saying we are under attack?!? The subway was shutdown and I had no way home. One of the ladies in my building asked where do you live I said VA and she said come on let's get moving to get HOME! We sped out of the city fast. I had never seen anything like it people were running from the Pentagon crossing 95 to get to Crystal City. Reflecting back it really makes me think of third world countries at war and the safety of the children and people in general. I pray no one has to go through something like that ever, but that would mean we live in a PERFECT WORLD. sigh.

    I don't find questions odd. I answer to the best of my abilities. I find that people just don't know what to say, but they are concerned. They are coming from a place of love and we are just emotional because of what we are facing. I am like that myself when I see one of our sister facing more tx. I feel tongue tied and scared for them, but I don't want to pry and make them feel uncomfortable. So if I have ever said the WRONG thing on here please don't charge it to my confused heart.

    Not on Facebook like that ladies, but enjoy!

    XOXOXO!!

  • minxie
    minxie Member Posts: 484
    edited September 2012

    I don't know, I'd really have to think twice about going through 5 months of ACT chemo again. I'd want some serious guarantees of success.

  • minxie
    minxie Member Posts: 484
    edited September 2012

    How much is too much? Mind-altering drugs, I mean. I take Cymbalta to help with the panic attacks since the BC. I take Oxys for the pain created by my BMX. Lorepezam for those bursts of terror. Ambien CR to sleep.

    How funny I never even knew about these (except the Oxys) before BC.

    These drugs help me keep it together, so when the panic sneaks in, it's easier to squash down. But my dreams - every night is filled with horrendous nightmares. Guess that's what happens when you try to keep your subconscious empty during the day.

     I am ok with all these drugs. I guess I should feel bad because I do sound like a junkie, but I don't care. My biggest fear is that one day I'll be without my drugs (natural disaster or something) and I'll fall apart. I already use up too many Oxys before they're due for refill, and I spend a few days in withdrawal before my appointment.

    What do you all think? Too much? Or just doing what it takes to stay sane?

  • BernieEllen
    BernieEllen Member Posts: 2,445
    edited September 2012

    minxie, I'm bipolar, I will do what ever it takes to stay sane.  I drink wine in preference to a lot of the tablets on the market but saying that I cannot go without effexor and risperdal. This journey is hard for all of us in so many ways.

    I talk to my GP and he supports me so much. 

    It is easy to say it gets easier. other people on here may be able to help and advise far better than me.

    Don't ever forget we are all here for each other - not to judge - support 

  • wrsmith2x
    wrsmith2x Member Posts: 410
    edited September 2012

    Minxie, 

    Unfortunately there are no guarantees as we all know.  And as for the drugs....better living thru chemistry is what I always say!  I'm going to ask my onc to up my Lexipro as ever since my recurrence I've been pretty much a basket case.

    I hope we all get thru this quickly and painlessly as possible.  Namaste'. 

  • Paintingmywaythru
    Paintingmywaythru Member Posts: 317
    edited September 2012

    Had a really grumpy anxious day Sunday. Was not nice to my husband. I was worrying about a reoccurrence and I could not get the fear to subside.

    I could not figure out why I was feeling so angry although I had a to do list a mile long and then it hit me that Sept 9th was the date of my last chemo in 2011 and it was the last date I would no longer have to deal with the oncologist that made some decisions that were not to my benefit. I thought I had let that anger go as I could not change the mistakes she made but I guess I hadn't. I also am coming up for my bilateral breast MRI and I know that I am getting anxious even though I feel everything is OK. Well f...ing cancer really keeps the anxiety returning......

    11 years ago today my sister would have been on an AM plane to NYC but she got a call from the airline at 3AM that her flight was cancelled and "did she want to reschedule?". She chose not to. So sometimes a frustrating experience turns out to be a blessing.

    Tomorrow she and I are going to meet in Charlotte, N.C. and drive to Asheville to see the house she is having built. I think it will be a wonderful trip. 5 days with my sister will be grand.

    Luv and Inmate hope you are both doing OK.

    Fighter...what a scary story

    Minxie....you have gone through a lot. Meds can be our ally but only you know what is right for you. I still find I have a lot of anxiety that I try to eliminate through yoga and exercise but some days it is right up there.

    wrsmithx2...gosh you too have been through so much. Yes better living through chemisty.

    Happy Chappy

    Happy Chappy!

  • christina1961
    christina1961 Member Posts: 736
    edited September 2012

    I've considered an antidepressant again at times as I have had a hard time focusing on things, particularly the past few months.  I know I am in the high recurrence rate time period and it scares me.  I took oxys throughout chemo for the muscle pains but at the end of chemo, my oncologist told me I was only getting one more refill and he wanted me to taper off, so I never got the last refill.  Many times I wish I had, though, and I was pretty irritated at the time.

    I'm not comfortable taking Ativan or valium, and I quit drinking 28 years ago so I just try to wear myself out with exercise.  Riding bicycles helps my mood more than anything.  Sunday my shoe clip broke so I'm walking this evening!

    In memory of all those lost today.

  • FernMF
    FernMF Member Posts: 349
    edited September 2012

    Thanks NavyMom - 3 years is GREAT with TN !

    ROUND 3 - the RIGHT nurse put in an (almost) pain free IV - that was 3/4 of the battle for me today.  My doc said to "scale it down" to not expect so much out of myself - that the tiredness/weariness and weak/sore leg muscles will probably escalate - my hemaglobin count was a bit low - he said THIS IS WHAT THESE DRUGS DO - "you need to lower your expectations of what you can do" . . . ha ha, my husband (sweet servant man that he is) said "I've been telling her that for days, maybe she will listen to you."  I was GANGED UP ON! (ha ha ha ha)  OK, so I'm going to "scale it back" and do less and quit when I'm tired.  Today, already feeling the tired . . . so I will try to do nothing for the rest of the day.  THANKS FOR ALL YOUR GOOD WISHES.  KEEP THOSE "YEARS OUT AND CANCER FREE" stories coming my way.

  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited September 2012

    Hi everyone!  Just checking in to say I'm doing fine on the clinical drug, so far.  My labs were good last Friday and they won't be done again until a week from Friday.  In the meantime, I'm keepin' on keepin' on!  I spent a couple hours with my mom this afternoon and all I can say is, breast cancer is not as bad as dementia.  She is not adjusting to her new place, which is nicer than her prior one.  She has forgotten that she's been in an assisted living facility for the past two years and wants to go "home" or be with me 24/7, both of which are impossible.  I scolded her today and told her she needed to stop being so cranky!  It didn't work but it's about the only thing I haven't tried.  After I left, I called my DD and made her promise to give me a "black pill" if I live long enough to get dementia.  I guess in some ways she'll be better when she can no longer remember anything.

    As for drugs, well, I am a walking chemical waste dump!  Tons of drugs got me through chemo last summer, I am diabetic so I have a few for that, and now I have the trial drug and Prilosec added in the mix.  So far I don't need any serious painkillers or antidepressants but I take a Restoril every night so I can sleep. 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2012

    Drugs, drugs, drugs! I too am bi-polar.. just got this diagnosis after completing chemo. I had been on celexa for depression before diagnosis after my mom past away, then switched to cymbalta. I will say that getting off of cymbalta is not so easy. I was titrated down to 20 mg and still am dealing with the dizziness and head "shocks". I am now on 300 mg of lamictal for the bi-polar, and still dealing with anxiety for my upcoming mammo.

     I totally get everyones second guessing going through treatment again. I as most would want to hear positive outcomes, vs. being filled with more toxic chemicals. Don't  get me wrong, I will have to weigh both with warrior mentality. Like I said fight till the end.

    Michelle, glad to hear the trial is doing well with you thus far.

    Fern, I am with you- both my onco and my DH ganged up on me before my last treament. I was a mess. lol

    Fighter, scary indeed!!  I was working on a military base when we went on full lockdown. Hummers with gun's locked and loaded at every intersection. My DH was active duty at the time and away for training. As soon as he was able to make it home (when the planes could fly) he then deployed. The tragedy of that day are still burned into my memory forever.

    Bernie, I love a good glass or two of wine. It helps me to relax. I love the comments on my haircut when it first started growing back. They are pretty shocked when I say "this is growth after chemo, but thank you".

  • mags20487
    mags20487 Member Posts: 1,591
    edited September 2012

    Lory...I get that all the time too about my hair...what a great cut...never know what to say.  I will use that line.  Working through the end of this month then taking October off to start getting ready for my Recon in November.  Going to use the month working on myself to get stronger again before a surgeon ravages my body again.  Decided on the DIEP in New Orleans.  The doctor thinks that the procedure may also help with the lymphedema too...that is the great part about choosing this one for me.  Hope it does help.  These arms are really susceptable to swelling if I just do minor activities.

    Luv...so glad you are doing so well

    Inmate--hoping you too are well

    Maggie

  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited October 2012

    Hi Everyone!

    Mags-glad to hear that diep might help with le. Did he say how it helps? I have been trying to decide if I am going to have reconstruction or not, and I thought it might make things worse, but if there is a chance of making things better I will definitly do it! I only met with a ps once and that was before I had my bmx, so I didn't know that I would have le issues.

  • mags20487
    mags20487 Member Posts: 1,591
    edited September 2012

    bak...the way it was explained to me was that right now the arm lymphs work fine and push the fluid up as they are supposed to but when they get to the chest it is like a brick wall without any tissue there.  When tissue is replaced the fluid begins to flow again.  Also the tissue they move has lymphs in it.  If it does not help then the surgeon that I chose also does a lymph node transfer.  They take lymphs from another part of the body and surgically attach them in line to be sure they work.  I will PM you with more info bout the doc too

    Maggie

  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited September 2012


    About the drugs....hm...I would say hell yes to anything..no need for any of us to suffer dang it...personally I don't take the pill stuff..wine is my drug of choice...

    Ok..ladies..get those thighs going...(ha ha ..only on here would I say this stuff)....goingfor my 3rd 5k on Saturday....this one is in Amish Country, Ohio...on a wide bike trail...but i understand that we have to watch for buggys and road apples....and if you don't know what a road apple is I will be happy to tell you...think about it for awhile....

  • JazzyJ
    JazzyJ Member Posts: 126
    edited September 2012

    Titan - Is it Horse poop? Good luck!! We will be cheering you on!

  • OBXK
    OBXK Member Posts: 791
    edited September 2012

    Titan - you put me to shame! I hope you have a great time!

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited September 2012

    Way to go Titan... will have those thighs clapping. 

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited September 2012

    Titan - Yep those clapping thighs are out again for another 5km run.  Geez you are a gluten for punishment.  I'll get out my flag again and wave you on while I sit and do nuffink as usual. You go girl. By the way is it horses doofers ie poo.

    Tazzy  - have you started rads yet.  You will just sail through it. Just remember to put on the cream everynight.    Do you have to go away from home to have the treatment - I hope not.

    Luv - good to hear you are going well on the trial.  Your poor mum I feel so sorry for her.  You just stop scolding her there is nothing worse than wanting to go home and you can't. Give her a big kiss and a hug from me.   

    On the drugs I say take what makes you feel better.  What with the treatment and shock of the diagnosis I think we need all the help we can get and if wine does it, then go for it.

    A friend of mine lost her daughter to cancer at age 23 yrs.  Then her son died at age 22 yrs with a berry aneurysm.  Now she has been diagnosed with metastatic lung cancer.  She has refused all treatment because she just wants to see her children.  Its just so sad.  She has been through hell and has more to come.  Makes you wonder why those bastards that abuse, kill and ill-treat children and animals  can still be alive and well.  I used to believe in karma but ......    She is such a terrific lady too.  Has made my day so sad.

    The old fellar is doing well but I'm not sure he is missing me much cause we hardly see each other.  He gets to the cafe at 6am, works until 5pm, has dinner, showers at 8pm and then goes to bed before 9pm.  Sometimes I wonder what he looks like now.  But the cafe is doing great and he is enjoying it so thats something.

    Started off very cold here in Taupo but it has been a lovely day and the moutains look gorgeous.  Supposed to be spring but not warmed up enough for that yet so I'll keep hoping.

    Where is Inmate and where is Heather. Haven't heard from Heather for ages.  Time to write a post girls.      

    Sending you all a chilly hug.  Roll on summer. Annie  

           

  • BernieEllen
    BernieEllen Member Posts: 2,445
    edited September 2012
    There's an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who
    kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I
    hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"
    Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone
    who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen."
    This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the
    priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest
    arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
    The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in
    town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about
    having fallen."
    The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new
    priest about the code word.
    Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at
    the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your
    wife fell three times this week
  • borntosurvive
    borntosurvive Member Posts: 213
    edited September 2012

    Annie:  This is terribly sad for your friend.  No one should ever have to go through so much in their life.  And I agree with you that the world seems backwards.  Why do such horrible things happen to those people who want to live, who treat people well and who do good things in life?  And then all those people who murder and steal get to sit in jail and live?!  I use to believe in a lot of things......now not so much. 

    I joined the 40 days of yoga program at my gym and have been plugging along.  I am doing 6 yoga classes/week with 1 rest day.  And on Sunday we meet as a group to meditate and learn about health and wellness.  There is a really good book to go along with it.  It's helping me to get grounded and learn to BREATHE!!!  

    Love to you all oxoxo

  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited September 2012

    Annie - LOL, that was a last-ditch effort to get my mom's attention and change her mood.  I've tried everything else, and I know it's the dementia ruling her thoughts.  And that's a very sad story about your friend with lung cancer who lost both her children.  Life is so unfair, really.  The good die young and some people seem to be too mean to die.

    Bernie - too funny!

    Inmate - how are you doing, dear?  I hope things are improving and the side effects are tolerable.  We miss your candor and your humor, so hopefully you can muster up the energy for a few words to let us know how you are doing.

    Heather - I think you are getting settled with your boys, right?  Hopefully all is going well now that your family is all back together.

    Go Titan!

  • Tazzy
    Tazzy Member Posts: 2,546
    edited September 2012

    Annie - no I am very lucky that I only live 20 minutes away from the Cancer Agency here.   Have my appts with the RO and mapping session on 17/18 September.  Then I guess I'll start the following Monday... maybe sooner.   That is just too much for your friend to go through.   So sad.  And I agree - how come all the nasty bastards live and the good ones get so much crap to go through.  Not fair eh?

    Good one Bernie.

    Born... I am going to take up yoga again when I am all healed.  Yours sounds like a really great program.

    Michelle.... hope the trials are still going well for you.

    Well it is a beautiful day here in the the Okanagan, so I am going to tackle cleaning windows and then off to meet friends for dinner.

    ((Inmate & Heather))

    Have a wonderful day if you can today and find some happiness and sunshine.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited September 2012

    Mags, A friend and fellow TN gal is also having DIEP, in Nashville.
    If I had to have a MX that is what my surgeon suggested (I have enough belly
    fat to do that).. lol

    Titan- You go with your bad self, thigh clapping to 1st
    place! Sounds like a nice place to have the 5K, road apples and all.

    Annie, We have all heard it said that only the good die
    young. It just pisses me off that the sicko, violent, criminals are walking
    this earth still when the good are taken from us so early. Just a sad, sad
    thing for that lady to endure during her life. A parent should never have to
    see their children go before them.

    Bernie, I nearly spewed coffee on my laptop .. thank you
    again for the laugh

    Born, yoga is quite the workout! 6 days a week is awesome. I
    just joined a gym and will start Monday on a get back to fitness routine. This
    old gym rat is not happy with the weight gain and lack of energy.

    Inmate and Heather hope all is well with you.
  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited October 2012

    Wow, daily yoga, 5k's, you gals ROCK!

    lory48-my doc said I had a bit much fat in my belly for diep:( for the best results I need to lose some weight, which I am trying to do! 10 pounds down so far!

    My rooster just let out the most pathetic cock a doodle doo! He sounds like he has laryngitis!

  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited September 2012

    bak...was just at the county fair where I live and of course had to go to the poultry barn...my husband and I were of course trying to get the roosters to crow...it just cracks me up....we stand there and crow at them...once they all get going it's like they are all trying to out do each other....chickens are really cool...their eyes are so human...we used to take pigs to the fair and I just loved them...i cried when they had to go..well..you know where...it hurts taking a "terminal"project...

    Thanks for the support you guys in my running...to be honest I really don't get much support at home...from the family..I KNOW it is not that big a deal..but to me it is...blah..I can run..yes run 3 freaking miles without being tired and I don't even get a pat on the back..ok..I'm whining...but I guess I just need some love and you guys give me that...THANKS SO MUCH!  I NEED your support just like I have had it all during this cancer crap

  • inmate4232010
    inmate4232010 Member Posts: 310
    edited September 2012

    fly like the wind baby1

  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited September 2012

    There you are, Inmate!!! How are you doing?  We are all thinking about you and hoping you are doing OK.  Is the clinical trial drug being kind to you?

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