I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

All drinks are doubles for the forseeable future.

((((Kam170)))) I love my husband, and he has been there for me, but sometimes I feel like I have to be strong for both me and him. He is much more emotional than I am, and I think he took my BC diagnosis harder than I did. I'm glad I have him, though.

Except, he's absolutely useless as far as housework goes.  (Besides  telling me when he sees dust-at which point I hand him the Swiffer duster.)

Mary 

I leave you alone and this is what you kids get into! Ok, stranger, interloper who doesn't give a shit about any of the women on this thread. Go home. Now!

IMHO, it's better to feed 'em treats and pat them on the head.

That's what I did with a dog my former neighbors adopted in my former neighborhood. The dog, a male german shepherd-type, just wandered through the door into their living room one day. They let it move in and started feeding it. I think they were afraid of what it would do if they chased it away. The dog was aggressive -- sort of a dog version of a bully -- and would get its hackles up and growl if it didn't get what it wanted.

Fast-forward to me, trying to walk 2 miles a day per doctor's orders. The bully dog would come charging out, running across the neighbors' yard to the curb, barking and snarling. Not knowing what else to do and needing the exercise, I began carrying milk bone dog biscuits in my pocket. I would toss half a dog biscuit to the dog, and it would quit snarling and gulp the biscuit. After a few days of that, the dog would rush out to the curb every time it saw me, woofing and growling as usual but with its tail wagging and a silly look on its face. We were cautious friends from then on -- not really trusting each other, but willing to keep our guns holstered (so to speak).

Just sayin'.

otter

Delightful story Otter!

OTOH, I'm wondering if a margarita would go okay with Brussel sprouts. (Confession: dh fixed supper. He made salmon patties, one of his favorite meals. Sounds odd, but they are quite tasty. We try to take turns fixing the evening meal.)

otter

[Edited to point out that I was not smiling at the flamethrower story.]

Abalone being served at the bar tonight But not for the troll (s) cuz I still remember things said about us in other incarnations,  weren't carnations.  Such a giggle to see someone be a silly spectacle, giving manifold thanks for the Ignore function. Aw KamfromCA, don't be sad, it's all made up whatever it was, and changes all the time.  No one can take on the entire "emotional" burden, you will find what you want/need, don't be sad about what the "grass" looks like on the neighbor's lawn, odds are it's astroturf!  Ignore the source, and you will be fine.  REALLY.

Eggplant abundance and sun gold tomatoes for all, well, almost all

We have good gun laws here, so crime using guns is limited - still it does happen. They changed the laws after a big massacre in Tasmania years ago. We certainly do not have the right to own a hand gun without very strict controls.

Kam ... there are times when I thought it would be easier to go through the treatment alone.  To not feel like I had to keep up a front or pretend to feel better than I did so as not to worry somebody else.  I was single for many years before I remarried ... there are advantages to both lifestyles IMO.   

Thanks WhiteWabbit - you know how it is at BCO.  You don't see threads like "I loved Chemo today" or "The Side Benefits of Hormone Blockers"...it's much easier to gripe about the negative; human nature.  I lost my mother when I was 14, yes, BC.  It was so difficult for me to ever hear one of my friends or aquaintenances complain about their mother after that.  We always think the grass is greener or life would be better if only....well, maybe comparing a mother to a husband isn't fair.  I would say, in general, a mother is a better risk!

I love Seattle in the summer-when we have one, like we are right now. I love Seattle in the fall. I absolutely loathe the long stretch of gray and rain that we have pretty much from end of November to end of June. It's very wearing on the spirit-at least it is for me.

Mary 

Riley:  The flamethrower story is scary, but sort of makes my point. 

Good night all.  I had brussel sprouts for dinner.  Broiled with olive oil, salt and pepper.

Oh, now it's midnight when I have time to read your posts and I am really wanting brussel sprouts!

The family will think I have lost it if I start cooking...

Sunflowers - thanks for asking. Summer sucked the big one. First time in almost four years that I was ready to give up, and I truly did not think I would live to see Sept. Enough of that crap!



I missed you! Glad you are back. Mostly been reading and trying to stay out of trouble. (You know - beware of the "dirty scuttlers" they are trouble makers ... LOL)



Doc put me on Cymbalta for the neuropathy. (was basically wheelchair bound for about 7 weeks). Good SE of Cymbalta is anti-depression effects. Yippee, feel like crap but can't cry about it anymore. I actually think the onc did that on purpose because I was a blubbering fool in the office for a couple of months!



Want so bad to get good news on all my friends here who have been having rough times. Especially Blue! Enough is enough.



My favorite brussel spout recipe is brown and crisp bacon pieces, add sprouts and a little apple cider vinegar, cover until tender. Mmmmmmmm! Also, YES, they can be skewered on shish kabobs, buttered, and grilled. Another yummy way.



Ready for my Campari with a twist of lime.

Scuttlers - are we happy you get to see September - yey! It did sound quite dicey for you for a while. So glad you are back.

Kam, I am single and always complaining about it - lol! The BIG EXCEPTION to that was when I was diagnosed with BC. I am lucky in that I am not stage IV, so the expectation was that treatment would start and then end. I was very happy to not have to worry about a partner when thinking about what to do with my breasts. I know that would have weighed on me regardless of what the man said. There are crucial decisions I prefer to make alone. Treatment (in addition to reconstruction) was something I had to make calls on solo as well, especially since I did not happen to have faith in chemo or rads, and so my decisions were controversial. I didn't even join BCO until I had charted my path. Each to his own. So many women come on here asking perfect strangers what they should do with cancer. Not for me! I did ask questions and seek support regarding my path for reconstruction (with implants) but I had already decided on the technique.

There are so many wonderful DHs out there, and perhaps I am wrong, and if I had been married my husband might have been nothing but a rock. HOWEVER, you also hear awful stories, not just of DHs but of immediate family, either blaming the person for getting BC, or a DH running scared when a wife loses her breasts. I have a sister (one of two) who is so self-centered that she forgot to ask how my initial cancer surgery went because she was too interested in showing me her new kitchen. She is an egotist whom I avoid seeing if I can. Sometimes strangers understand more than family. I knew the women here wouldn't blame me for my BC and certainly wouldn't ignore my milestones of treatment - it takes a preternaturally selfish older sister for that to happen. There is a lot of judgement-making on BCO based on what medical treatment people choose, and that has to STOP, but one can also say little and stay away from the fray.

Anyway, hope this helps.