I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

Good afternoon!  Another hot, sunny and dry day here. 

This tread is very supportive for any problems anybody is having.  And fun and informative and all over the place re the subject of the moment.  That's why I love it.  I'm trying to put it politely but if people pop on here ... never to offer any kind words or support ... but only to chastise when they don't like something somebody said they are probably not going to enjoy or gain anything from reading here.  

I know nothing about dressage - or horses really.  Very interesting!  But to actually get up on a horse I believe my 'style' would be holding on for dear life! 

Yep, remember the LIBERAL use of "block this poster."  The side benefit is that it makes 'em mad.

It is really sad that there are people who have nothing better to do than to disrupt a group of friends having a conversation.  How empty a life it must be to feel compelled to monitor a place where people talk about things you despise just to look for opportunities to be disruptive.  Sad.

Alexandria, you and I are very much alike.  EXACTLY the same things happened to me.  One of the bullies is in prison now, and another didn't live past her 20s.  Living well is a pretty good revenge.

L

WhiteRabbit, Your style on a horse had me laughing. A few years back my DH and I decided to try riding horses along a mountain ridge while on vacation. I really don't know what got into the horse my DH was riding, but the dang thing tried to bite him and run the entire time we were on the ride. The guides even had a hard time controlling the dang thing. My DH spent the entire trip just hanging on for dear life. He just hates horses now!

Too bad that when one blocks a poster, it doesn't also mean they can't see what you post. As long as someone can see your post, they can report it. 

Mary 

Ok, here is a very simple message for everyone - MODS - I am sure you can agree, since you have made the same statement many times in various forums, instances, etc:

This thread/support forum is a voluntary endeavour. If you come here to read and you don't like what you see, you can always go elsewhere. In fact, please do. It's better for you and for others.

Posters on this thread: I think we know who the disruptors are. Some of us have them on ignore. To help us out, if a disruptor comes on this thread, please let's not even allude to what the person has said. It's hard for ignore settings to be effective if one can fairly gather what is said based on the reactions of others.

The moderators do their moderating, but they can't do everything, so let's do some of our own.

Think about disruptors, make a mental list and block those users - and never read without logging in! Believe me, settings are everything. That way, when disruptors come on, you won't know what they are saying. Can we make that an unofficial thread rule? I am sure some of us here have blood pressure problems, so this petition of mine does have a health component. And a mental health one.

So rule, in short: If a disruptor comes in either a) block user or b) "shhhhhhhh" the rest of us don't want to know what this person said!

We've done it before with great success.

And I hope this post doesn't get deleted.

ETA: Chickadee just said it much better - let's have a "block user" click-a-thon. :-)

When I was first diagnosed with BC I found this website, found the information on a bazillion topics that I never even knew existed.  I mean who knew about Hand-Foot Syndrome? (Not me, for sure.)  As I moved through surgery and then chemo I found this site to be a fairly all inclusive source of information.  But it really wasn't until I ventured over to these discussions in what is called Community, that I got to know about the day to day things women (and men) deal with as a result of BC.  

There is no mets group in my town, the other group is way too relentlessly rah rah.  That is why this thread is so good.  It is a mix of people (good and bad people I am sure) who share first, BC, and then, a point of view.  Sometimes serious, sometimes totally wack, always supportive of those who will ask for it (and even if it is not explicitly requested posting what is going on in your life is a request for validation).

Community is generally defined as a group sharing common characteristics or interests.  If I can't talk about religion, politics, economics, alternative therapies or any other "dangerous" thing because it might offend someone who chooses not to belong to this group then it really isn't a Community is it?

I was thinking while Athena was writing.  I agree with her.  But oh my,  I sometimes just like scratching when it itches.  Even just a little bit.

Kay, sadly there are people in this world who look for opportunities to be disruptive.  I have always thought that a mark of maturity was to walk away and not engage when one found a topic of conversation not to one's liking.  It is puzzling to me why some people seek out conversations, groups, or topics that they disagree with just for the apparent purpose of disagreeing.  I don't go to the community of Rush Limbaugh-lovers.  I don't go to the FB page of Babes for Rush or the John Birch Society or I Support Mitt Romney.  Why on earth would I?  They have nothing to say that would interest me and I have nothing to say to them that they are interested in.  Were I to go there and insert my opinion, it would just cause trouble.  What would be the purpose?  I have no interest in causing trouble there.  Let them have their conversations ... I don't care.  But, I guess there are people in the world who don't want anyone to have conversations they don't agree with ... so they try to silence them.  Just like Mary said about the Atheist thread ... she's not, so she doesn't go there.  You would be surprised at the people who DO go there to tell them they're wrong!  And Mary's right -- they're rude.  I have yet to see anyone on the Atheist thread go to any of the prayer threads to tell them they're wrong.

We are a community here, Kay.  As in every community, there are disruptive people, people who don't really want to be a part of the community but want to tear it down.  Using the Block button is a good step toward not allowing that to happen.  We can continue to support and care for each other here and ignore those who don't want to participate.  As far as talking about politics, I'm all for it ... but the Mods aren't and it's their house.  Seems to me that politics do indeed affect our health (availability of medical care, insurance, finances), but there were mass deletions, flameouts and serious stalking during the last election.  There are people who cannot be trusted to have a civil conversation that revolves around politics (we can but others can't) and that is why the Mods don't want us trying. 

We are a community nonetheless, in spite of the disruptors.  Many of us long-termers have formed IRL friendships, and I can see more coming!  So the disruptors can live their empty lives looking for things to complain about, and we'll have fun.

And I'm sure this rant will be reported forthwith, so read it fast.

L

Happy Libby you are wise.

Politics are allowed at BCO - as long as certain niceties are observed. 

My reading is that the mods have loosened their restriction on discussing politics and have altered rules to provide incentives for people to not get into a fight.

And frankly, the fact that we are all still posting while discussing this is a testament to how times have changed for the better on BCO.

Remember a pinned thread the mods had in the comments section? It USED to say that we shouldn't discuss politics, period. It now says, essentially 'do so respectfully and we understand that it's a topic on people's minds, especially healthcare politics' (I'm paraphrasing).  

The Community Rules do caution against politics talk that isn't related directly to one's life, but that rule is broken on lots of forums, including the religion one, the atheist ones and even the advocacy ones. That's why I give it less weight. Besides, there is no fine dividing line between the personal and the political.

Also, see this post by the Mods a few pages back here on this thread:

20 hours ago Moderators wrote:

Friendly reminder that when discussing politics, please remain as respectful as possible, and do not report a post unless it is breaking a rule. Thank you!

Notice that it says "when discussing politics" as opposed to "do not discuss politics"

I actually commend the mods for trying to navigate a tightrope and allow for freedom of expression. Which does not imply that it would be prudent to talk about politics everywhere. However, my reading is that the Mods took this thread off from Active topics partly to "protect" other BCO members and also partly to protect us. It is a freer place these days. If we can discuss birds, we can discuss politics. Both have about the same relationship to BC.

So politics as a topic are IN (though not willy nilly all over BCO) - but so is the caution about "if you don't like what you see, go elsewhere."  

Let's drink to that, fellow flame war vet! (Iced water for me).

Yikes - so that's the huge male I see roaming the plains. Our pride males are NOT happy.

I DID acquire a Kindle Fire and I LOVE it. The size and weight are perfect, reading is easy and comfortable and I like the simple layout. My flip phone should arrive any day now.

Kayf, yes, scratching an itch is tempting, but if you are not careful it can get to be what my southern friend described as wrestling a pig in s?it, you get dirty and the pig likes it!

"Spiritual flora and fauna"? Love it, Chickadee! I think where Snoop is concerned that is a HUGE possibility.

Mary 

So Snoop has gone from canine to feline huh.  Now there is a real flammable topic?  Cats vs dogs ... which is smarter or a better pet?    I have and love both.  But cats are smarter because they have evolved past that 'obey' stuff and have learned how to train us.

Drinking iced tea here (unsweetened, no lemon) ... another possibility for civilized disagreement.

Should be vacuuming (see above re cats and dogs) ... don't want to.