chip in and lets tell a story and have fun with it.
Comments
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and said "let's take the old one. She knows how to have fun!" With that, Mom was hurried into the pod. When she was settled in ready for her new adventure she heard a voice she hadn't heard in years say...
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honey is that you. It was Bill her husband that had left her for a tart years ago. Apparently the tart must have
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traded him off to the aliens too!
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Serves him right after running off like that. I'm glad I was wearing my favorite black mini skirt when I left for my adventure. Bill will eat his heart out when he
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sees the skull tatoos and piercings I had for my 60th birthday present! He always thought of me as a dull, suburban housewife with a perm.
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OMG there he is sitting in the corner. I almost didn't recognize him. He looks like he as gained 100 pounds. Haven't laughed this hard in years. Enough about Bill look across the room is that
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Bob? My high school boyfriend? It must be only he looks even better than I remembered, he hasn't aged a day and he is smiling at me just the way he used to. I take a big slug off the bottle, hike my skirt up a little and...
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head straight over to say hello to ole Bob. I should have gone on this adventure a long time ago. This is going to be a blast. First I get to rub Bill's nose in it, and now there's Bob looking hot. So I could not believe my luck when
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I tripped and fell over some lever or something and chipped my tooth on the bottle. Damn it!! I try to shake it off by..
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taking another drink. I will try not to smile when I say hello to Bob so he doesn't notice the chipped tooth. Maybe I will hike up the skirt a little more to draw attention away from my tooth. Now I need to think of a good opening line for Bob what about
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I've been doing for the last 50 years. I can't tell him I was married to that bloated tart chasing loser. I'm not sure if I should show him my tattoos? But he's bound to see some with how far I've hiked up my skirt. So I go for the easy way, like a class reunion, only with aliens and I 'm slightly drunk. Although I think many people get drunk at class reunions? Besides the point sorry! "Bob! It is so nice to run into you again! It;s been ages! (dry laugh insert here) ummmm....so how have you been? His response shocks me...
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Doin great he says, Can I have a swig off yer bottle there? As Bob is taking a swig, he notices all the tatoos on her thigh and says, How far up do they go? She is giggling at this time and looks over to see Bill and Jackie looking at her with disgust,, Jackie says Mom!! why are you being such a hoochi mama...
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"What are you still doing here?" she asked,
"I felt bad about trading you to the aliens. Come with me, I will help you escape."
"No way," she whispered, "I'm having the time of my life......and you can leave any time, you are cramping my style." -
Bob kind of struts up and says " I can't believe it' you!" Well believe it honey, how do youlook so young? He starts to explain that he started his adventure at the age of 18 and has never aged since due to time travel. I think my skirt is going higher without me doing anything when all of a sudden Bob...
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whispers ,"I've always thought older women were hot, but you are smokin'! Lets try and overpower these little green men and fly away to paradise together!"
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"But how can we do that? They have all those lasers and high tech weaponry. And, although you were a hunk in high school; if I remember right, the only class you actually passed was P.E."
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Well Bob says werent you in gymnastics? yea so? Well you can do some cartwheels and knock them to the ground and we will run for it
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Mother got a little twinge of conscience, "I can't just leave my daughter or even my jerky ex-husband (although he deserves it) in the mercy of these creatures. If we make a break for it, we have to try to save them too."
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Well for sure we have to save my daughter and if we can then my loser ex. I think I would like him around just to keep rubbing his nose in it. But what exactly will you be doing while I am doing cart wheels and knocking the aliens to the ground?? Need you to do more than hold the bottle and watch the action. Can you at least
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Act like a man and do somthing,! mother is now thinking maybe this good looking ole chap is not what she thought he was. Looks like she will have to do it herself, she grabs the bottle from Bob takes another swig and says watch and learn Bob
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she manages to move like a ninja and take down the aliens all while not spilling her vodka as well as holding down her mini skirt. She grabs her daughters hand and starts to run but
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She notices the aliens are drunk and Jackie and the ex is sitting there laughing with them, She looks over at one of the aliens she begins to think he is quite cute for being so short and has weird antena like things coming out of his head maybe...
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I shouldn't be trying to run away. Everyone seems to be happy and partying. Now that I think about it, what am I running to maybe
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I should just sit down, have one more drink and think about things. So I decide to ask my daughter what she thinks about his whole thing. "Jackie, am I nuts? Do we stay or go, or what?" She looks at me drunkenly through her dirty blond hair falling in her face. ( Dirty as in dirty- not color, how did I not raise her better?) "Funny you ask Mom....
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haha!
Because as you know mom our life was a little dull, I mean how often do you see magicians, monkeys, and aliens running around, Im kind of having a good time here, and you seem to be hitting it off with Bob, I think if we
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could stay for a while you may enjoy your
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time away from your basement and all that S & M stuff. Oh....NO.... Bob and Bill are talking to each other. I better get over there before they start comparing notes on my....
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timeline. I don't want them to figure out there was a very slight over lap as to when I stopped seeing one and started seeing the other. I need to think quick! So I turn to Jackie and tell her, go ask your father to...
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order a pizza. All this action is making me hungry!
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"Well, where do you expect me to order pizza from with all this craziness going on?" I asked.
" from SPACE ALIENS, OF COURSE!"
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