Chemo May 2011

MamaV:  You are fortunate your hair is coming in blonde.  I met a 28 yo woman at a Support Group meeting last month whose hair came in completely gray.  She was 4 weeks PFC when I first met her.  I could not believe the growth she had at 4 weeks - a good 1/2 inch all around, but I guess she is only 28.  I will see her again next week which will be 8 weeks PFC so I am curious to see how her hair is progressing. 

I had 10 token gray hairs before chemo.  I did do cold caps, but lost a LOT of hair.  I require a coverup to go out.  I am curious to see what color my hair will grow back.  I can see some new growth littered in the scalp and it looks white.  I am looking forward to being at least 8 weeks PFC and hopefully I see sprouts everywhere. 

My brows look very pathetic right now, I normally have full lush brows.  I have lost about 2/3rd of them.  Lashes barely hanging on. I somewhat expect them to drop soon as per other women on TC.  All I can say is Christmas time is looking very good right now, almost 6 months of recovery time needed.

Blondelawyer:  I am so glad you have a plan in place.  We will all be cheering you on from the sidelines on Aug 15th.  Lets all say goodbye to Gertrude!

Candice:  You've been MIA, hope everything is ok. Nice to see you back.

Beaglesgirl and Laureen:  I can so relate.  I look at my face, sans brows and feel like I look so very different.  I just hope they grow back quickly. I have heard they do.  My brows started falling after tx 3 which was 5 weeks ago, I hope to see some stubble soon!  I am so sick of using powder to fill in the gaps.  I just hope my brows come back in dark as they were. 

Another day PFC and on the road to recovery.  I sure freaked myself out yesterday.  I was examing my breast, had a lumpectomy BTW.  The PS took out a lot of tissue - a golf ball size.  She had to reorg what was left for a pretty good cosmetic outcome.  I must say she did a good job and I have Ds to begin with.  Anyways as I was feeling my boob - I had been afraid to since my surgery.  I felt a lump, right in between my lymph node and breast scar - I know I have lumps/scar tissue at the surgery sites, but not inbetween them.  I thought that it shouldnt be there.  I burst into tears and called my hb, sobbing that the cancer is back.  He told me not to panic, I have a lot of scar tissue in my breast.  He has been massaging it to relieve the cording I have been experiencing.  He believes that the lump is a result of breast tissue reorg and scar tissue developing as he has been breaking down the scar with deep massage.  Needless to say I am going in to my doctor next week and discussing my new lumpy breasts.  I am almost thinking of having an mx, I have so many lumps and bumps in there now, I don't think I can handle self exams without freaking out. I need a baseline mammo or something. 

Hope everyone has a nice day.

I feel like a naked mole rat when I don't have fake eyelashes or penciled eyebrows. Frustrating!

MamaV, your hair growth sounds pretty good for 4 weeks! I am 1 day short of 3 weeks and my hair maybe looks a bit thicker. I have sporadic hairs that are about half an inch but very sparse. I start chemo again a week from friday, so there goes any gain I have made in the hair department. Oh well. Some do say they have growth on weekly abraxane but I am trying not to get my hopes up.

Thank you for letting us know about the scar tissue that is what I thought it was but it is nice to hear that others experience that too.

I had chair 4 of 6 today and I am so tired. I think I will go take a nap.

Candice

Happy Friday everyone! It is good to see everyone hanging in there and keeping out of hospital for the most part! It is good to look ahead at growing hair and eyelashes - i have a fuzz of salt and pepper growing more on top than on the sides so envisioning a bit of a mullet style in time if I dont buzz it even! Eyebrows are regrowing.. sparse - they thinned but never completely dropped out and kept most of the eyelashes.

Have one more taxotere to go so feel like I have a headstart hairwise back to normal! I just wish the fatigue would lift a little- very debilitating at the moment - I am totally useless if I dont sleep 12 hours at night.  I have my rad-fitting appointment next week- I am so looking forward to leaving chemo behind - never want to this again!

Blondelawyer- cancelling your Hawaii trip sucks but know how you feel! I had to give up a paid conference trip to Japan which was last week- I had been looking forward to it for 2 years and had some good work accepted to present- others did that for me. Now must wait another 2 years for the next meeting BC really is the gift that keeps on giving!

DebRox - I understand your panic and I think a lot of us can relate to your feelings.  I worry about every little bump - even though I've had a BMX - I keep worrying about the skin that was left (I had skin-sparing MX).  I also worry that my lump before it was removed spread to my chest wall and just hasn't been detected yet.  But I do try to move forward and be as positive as possible - not meaning to say I ignore the lumps and bumps. 

Have you not had a baseline mammo?

I hope to make you all laugh a bit.  I tried not to be offended at this comment but it was rather rude:  I was walking down the hospital corridor and at the end was a woman pushing a man in a wheelchair.  I heard her say to him as they came nearer "skinhead" - then when she got next to me she dropped her eyes and said "oh".  Why do people judge others based on their appearance?  Skinhead here is a very derogatory term and equates one to a neo-nazi.   If I saw a bald woman (perhaps I look more like a man these days   )  I would think she either had alopecia or was undergoing chemotherapy - some women even like the look thinking it "sexy".

Ah well . . . now I can laugh at it but I'm still annoyed by judgemental people.

Wow, someone said "skinhead". Geez, really judgmental. I guess all sorts of things come to mind. My scalp is so white against my face that I just look like someone doing a skit on Saturday Night Live. 

Being called Sir would be funny.

I'm in the SF Bay Ares and we're still a bit conservative here. I haven't seen any women bald here yet but maybe it will become a trend -- Sinead O'connor made it popular once. It's so conservative here that women rarely wear scarves or hats, they opt for wigs. That's a drag, itchy and too hot for me. I've worn my wig once and hope to have an inch of hair by Nov.so I can donate it.

Anyone go out in public bald without hesitation?? 

Katarina, where in the bay do you liive, that there's a bobcat in your avatar? I know they're in all the surrounding hills in the bay area. I've 2 kids in Emeryville; I live a couple hundred miles up the 101, off the grid in the hills, and bobcat are one of many beauties we see.



The comment of skinhead would get a comment back from me, I'm afraid, as it's really not something I want to be called. My own timidity keeps me from going out without my cap - our town is so small (5000), most people I see are either my students or their parents ( who were once my students , and I often just want to avoid the looks and conversation. It's not been a secret - I told everyone, to avoid the rumor mill. Once my hair stops looking like a baby owl, I'm out.

Hello beautiful ladies,

Lifelover, I am right there with you with the chemo brain stuff, I forget all the time and feel the same way you do.  I went to return some bottles the other day and the machine keep breaking down on me so I loaded all my bottles back in the car and just sat there an cryed.  

As far as the pin # on my debt card I was away last weekend and tried to get money out of the machine forgot the number and locked myself out also had to call the bank trying to hold back the tears trying to work it out.  This sucks, but at least I have something to blame it on.  Ha ha...

This journey has way to many up's and down's for me I am ready for the ride to be over.  I want my life back!!!!!!!!

Lots of hugs to all 

Hi everyone.



Justme1 and blondelawyer, sorry you were in the hospital. Yuck. Glad your both better now.



I have been taking a nice break, as I felt pretty good this week. AC # 2 for me on Tuesday. NOT looking forward to it at all. 1 down, 3 to go. Leaving for vacation right after. Hopefully, this will take my mind off of the crappiness of this process.



Sorry to everyone whose experiencing chemo brain issues. Dont be so hard on yourselves. We are overwhelmed. When overwhelmed, something's gotta give!! So, I notice my chemo brain was worse on Taxol than it is on AC. Anyone else notice differences on different meds?

I am not liking the effects of this Taxotere at all.  I had my first dose on Friday (I'll have it every 3 weeks for 3 courses).  My mouth is swollen and sore and my knees and back ache.  Sick to my stomach. 

I know everyone has had different side effects with the Taxanes so I'm trying to be positive - it can't last forever, can it?  I read that some women have the side effects a year or more after treatment ends (body aches/pains).

Anyone else having night sweats/hot flashes from no periods since chemo started?  I sleep with my head on a towel on my pillow otherwise I soak my pillow.  The rest of me gets wet but mostly my head and chest.  Weird.

lifelover- I have the hot flashes (last for 4 hours or so) and the period. Have them periodially threw out the day too. Putting cold water on your head helps some. Aslo check with your dr, about meds for the hot flashes. I know more pills, but it does help some.

Take care everyone.

Candice

I just wanted to share with everyone that I discovered cream of wheat last month and it has really helped me through the food aversion. I am not struggling as much as when I was I was on AC but the breakfast is still tough because I take my meds and that early I can't look at food yet. It has a very mild taste and odor. Ummmm and it is totally neutral if it comes up for those of you that are still fighting nausea.

 The treatment I started in May, Halaven, was a failure.  Scans showed that the liver tumors have increased in size and that there are more of them and my tumor markers are now 3,306.  It was freaking me out for awhile when they kept going up.....now I just think Wow, how high can they go? Amazingly enough I do not feel bad.  I did not lose all my hair...it is VERY thin on top and the temple area, but I still have a lot on the sides and back. Next Wed, I am getting it all cut super short so when I start gowing hair again there won't be such a difference in length...., not shaved since my hairdresser does not recommend that.  My last treatment of halaven was almost a month ago so I figure the SEs with it are pretty much over.....there were not many actually, just the hair, constipation and really weird muscle spasms......so imagine my surprise when I looked in the mirror yesterday and my eyebrows are just about gone. 

I started Xeloda last Thurs. and found out last week that the blood test they did on me showed my tumor status has changed....I was always HER2-, but now I am +.  In my case this is not a bad thing because it opens up some more treatment options and I am going to be starting herceptin on Wed. 

I hope by now that most of you are finishing or already finished your treatments and will no longer have to deal with this crap and can move on.