Chemo May 2011

40-years-old-now

The CT scan results are in.

leg and arm cant really tell because of radiation I had (messes up results)

liver is same size

Lung was 14mm and is now 6mm!!!!!!!! YEAH

This is all good results!!

Other good news is today at my 4th Physical therapy I walked around the room (large room) 4 times PT nurse say that is like 500+ feet , this was with a cane, but I am doing better.

Now is time for rest, it has been a busy day.

Candice

twistedsteel

Everyone, thanks for the feedback on second week after AC.

THis is what I wrote on another topic here... about taxol

I started taxol in the end of May. I did 12 weekly. I had to sleep off the benedryl for an hour or so after I got home. I asked them to give me that 1st of premeds. I slept most of the rest of the time in the chair. Then I was wired for sound. I took the infusions on Mondays. I was super productive Monday afternoon, all day Tuesday, and most of Wed. All from steroid given as premed. I had diarrhea with Taxol that was handled with Lomotil. I had nail bed pain. I took good care of my nails but nothing extraordinary. I used the glutamine for neuropathy. I still got some on fingers and toes.

By Wed evening and all of Thursday, I was an emotional basketcase. The steroid withdrawal (from IV) hit me then and I was a crybaby, whiny, needy, little ball of pathetic. Once the nurse told me (after week 10) about this, I felt bad, but at least I knew I wasn't becoming a whiner, it was all chemically induced.

I had no real nausea with Taxol. No heartburn or reflux. I did get the lowered RBC count that made me winded easily. I did have dizzy spells. And I did have cold sweats that would wake me, or overtake me during the day too. I wouldn't call them hot flashes, but cold sweats. My period stopped after one treatment. I had mild chemo brain. By Friday, I was better and continued to improve in all SE's until Monday morning I felt darn good when I was back in the chair again.

I began hair loss after #2 and cut it to a short bob. THen when it began falling into my food, I had a few friends shave it into a mohawk for a few hours and then take it to a crew cut. I never got shiny bald during Taxol, and my fuzz would keep growing in between, just clear, pigmentless hair.

bak94

Twisted-thanks for sharing your taxol experience! That is why I was so sad and whiny yesterday and today! I was thinking I had no decadron se's because of the low dose they are giving me (because I am on abraxane instead of taxol) but I bet that is why I was so upset yesterday, a bit better today. I also have been having a bit of diarrhea, not bad though.

Blondelawyer-good to hear from you! Hoping you get good path results.

Candice-Yay! Glad to hear about your shrinkage! Did they biopsy your liver? I forget, but if they didn't is there a chance that it is not cancer because there was no change? Are you staying on the same treatment? Sounds like you are making great progress!

blondelawyer

I got my pathology report back and overall things were good. 80% of my huge (9.7 cm) tumor was dead tissue--so the chemo was definitely killing it. They only found one positive node, and that was 0.6mm, which my oncologist called a micro-met. He said that it is almost the same as no positive nodes. My tumor did penetrate my chest wall so there is not a clear margin there, but my oncologist was very happy with the results. He said that he is not as concerned about the chest wall because I was going to have to do radiation anyway. For additional chemo, he is thinking that I might be able to just do a mild oral chemo along with the rads.

I meet with the surgeon on Wednesday and then the RO on Thursday. The three of them will then meet and come up with a plan recommendation. Then I see the oncologist again next

bak94

Blondelawyer-That is such good news! Really good to know the chemo was working! I bet it feels good to have the surgery and path report all out of the way. You always sound so strong, so maybe you can give me suggestions when it is time for my surgery:) I'm afraid I am a wimp when it comes to scars and drains.

Patriotic

Hi Everyone. You all sound so strong.



Blonde lawyer, glad you made it through surgery and are doing great. You sound so good. I have to admit I am starting to dread the thought of surgery.



I have 2 AC's left. Lost most of the hair last week. It was a good run. I am hoping it will begin to grow again within 30 days. I have also lost about 25% of my eyebrows, damn it!! I wore the wig to my daughter's school today. No one noticed but I HATE it.



38 years old, I am so happy for your good news. Something to celebrate!!



Hang in there, ladies. We are almost there.

blondelawyer

Surgery has been SO much easier than chemo. I can deal with this pain a lot easier than chemo SEs. I'm happy to answer any surgery questions or to just be a cheerleader! We are all strong women! Take it one day at a time.



Bak: I have a feeling we are going to be training for a tri together very soon

MamaV

Love to hear everyone progressing, healing, and fighting through this!  We are strong!!!! 

oandtolivo

Loving all the good news and high spirits.  It make this road a little easier.

MargieC

HI All

I haven't been on this thread for a while.  I haven't had too many bad SE but my 6th and last TCH is this coming Mon and I can't believe how tired/stressed/depressed I am.  The week before chemo has always been my good week.  Not this time.  I am working full time averaging 50 hour per week which I am sure is not helping the fatigue.  On top of that I have to wait 5 weeks after my last chemo treatment for my surgery (BMX with immediate reconstruction) that is another stress.  My BS said that she doesn't do surgery till 3 weeks have passed since the last chemo treatment.  I have the extra 2 weeks due to getting a date that both BS and Ps are available.  DH thinks the 5 weeks is good since it give my body time to get as strong as possible before the surgery.

Thanks for letting me vent/whine     Have a good day everyone...

Beaglesgirl

MamaV, you weren't kidding about the taxol blues... geez I can turn in puddle in a second flat!

I have 5 more taxols tx to go, still no hair so I had my hubby take me into the cancer boutique (same floor as cancer center at the hospital) I didn't care that I was walking like a drunken sailor after tx... I wanted a new wig. I was fine after they sat me down and those sweet angels in there took care of bringing all the shapes and colors I described.  They even filed all of the insurance stuff for me. walked out with it on,

My effort of a pick me up. Although its the meds talking. I am saddened my having lost out on my kids summer considering that the two oldest are seniors. I am sad that everything is still on a 'tentative'  on if my body allows it. I am actually on the plan B for all activies for the kids until further notice so I wont have us scrambling last minute. 

Usually my personality is very zen like, calming so I am the first one to notice that I am possessed by the chemo invader. Yet its an out of body experience I cant control it all I can do is roll into it... tuck and roll to cause the least damage. thats my motto these days...

It was roll till the fire is out but I am hoping that between the surgery and the chemo  and the rads the fire will be out... because I getting dizzy from all the rolling I've had to do to save my body and mind.

love to everyone else rolling along with me  

MamaV

Hang in there Beaglesgirl - the Taxol depression lifts very quickly as soon as Taxol is out of your system!  I'm almost done with my 4th week of Rads and feel like a new woman!  Eyebrows are full in and eyelashes are full - just waiting for a little longer growth.  I look like GI Jane and almost ready to go topless at home - my shiny bald head freaked out my kids!  Ha ha!  Last night they saw my hair peeking from my bandana and they said, we are ok with that mom!  Gee - thanks!  Ha ha!  Hang in there and cry when you need to - it does help release the emotion!

Vicky

mccrimmon324

Beaglesgirl, I'm sorry your having a rough time right now, hopefully this will all be over before we know it and just a distant memory.  I think I get depressed when the steriods wear off for a few days or it could just be that I don't feel good and it reminds me of what's really happening.  I have 2 treatments left or exactly one month,  time feels like it's stalled completely.  I'm torn as to if I'm excited to be done or terrified it's not enough and maybe I should have more chemo.  As I'm TN and no further treatment is available after this. 

Love you pic!  I should change my avatar to a pic of my babies. 

Beaglesgirl

Mccrimmon324

I've got Rads next but am also a triple negative... hmmm interesting. I'm following the path that my team suggests for my case but there IS a feeling of being left alone in a dark scary forest afterwards with nothing to help you in case you get a sneak attack. I guess 'good personal choices' is all we'll get and it will be like carrying a plastic fork incase the beast attacks again between doc appts.  

mccrimmon324

I forgot I will get rads next but no pills or shots like the ER/PR/HER2+.  I think my doctor is planning on testing me for BRCA+ too, if positive I think I'm going to have a bilateral MX, plus the hysterectomy and Ovaries out too.  Which Chemo are you on?  I'm on TAC x 6, my first onc wanted 4 x AC, 4 x T but then I switched to a different onc who I feel so much more comfortable with as far as knowlegde and explaining to me but I still question why not the 4 x 4 like everyone else but I pretty much question him about EVERYTHING.

Beaglesgirl

I had 4 DD AC followed by 12 weekly taxol... number of rads tbd. but same as you no hormonal therapies just my plastic fork 

bak94

Blondelawyer-I will hold you to that training! The first time I went through all this crap I went exercise crazy when it was all over. I joined teamsurvivor northwest and I think that is how I managed to get through the post treatment blues and worry phase. ( I did still worry, but it is amazing what exercising with others going through similiar experiences does for the souls) Teamsurvivor has had some cutbacks because of the bad economy, but I encourage everyone to check them out, it is a great organization and many of the exercise classes are free for those with cancer or those finished with treatment.

Beaglesgirl-your zen like attitude does come through in your posts! Love the picture!

Mccrimmon-questioning is good! I am wondering if docs dont do the tac as much as the 4 and 4 because it seems like it would be harder with more se, but done quicker! I dont think I could handle adriamycin and taxol at the same time!

Margie, I can't believe you are working so much! Can you lower your hours?

I worked 8 hours yesterday and am pooped today! I have so much to do around the house...we are having a yard sale this weekend:( Work tomorrow, chemo friday, yard sale sat and sun. My great niece and nephew are coming over to sell lemonade and compost cookies (whatever that is!). It will be a busy weekend! Hope my niece (their mom) stays around as she can keep them in check! When I have them I have no control:) They get pretty wild! They are 8 and 10 and I just adore them.

mccrimmon324

Bak94 -

I bet those kids have an absolute blast running around with all of your animals!  Hope everything works out for you this weekend and you find some time for some rest.  I can't imagine having a yard sale on days 2 & 3, I usually spend the weekend after my thursday treatment in bed.  Getting worse with each one too, Next week will be 5 of 6.  I'm not really sure if my SE are worse than anyone's elses, I almost want to say I'm really really lucky after reading some of the things other ladies have gone thru, I've had a bad headache, fatigue, HORRIBLE taste in my mouth, etc... but I don't think I've suffered nearly as much as some.  Onc says I'm young and healthy less the cancer of course, I'm 41, he keeps telling me he knew from the very beginning I would sail thru it, I don't feel like I'm sailing but it has not been as bad as I first imagined. 

Sorry, I tend to ramble! 

MargieC

bak94 - I have always been a workaholic and my company is being really good to me about time off I just need to take it.  I am my worst enemy when it comes to work.  I need to cut back the hours the rest of this week and all of next week.  Good luck with the yard sale.  Enjoy the kids.  My sister's two daughters are both expecting babies any day and I can not wait till I can make the 5 hour drive to go see them.

justme1

mccrimmon324 where in tn are u from i am here too : )

justme1

i go back for my 2nd taxol tomorrow and cant wait to get it over ; ) then i will have 4 left .I am worrying bout the next step which is surgey .I cant stop thinkin out it . I am so afraid of the pain of healing . Plus if they dont gte clear margins i will have 6 more taxols I wanna be done. Oh i do have a question  does each taxol get worse or is it all the same ? I had two hard days with my bones hurting but  thats all. Hope i just  have a couple bad days each time . I am liking the feeling once i get past that . I Hated A/C most days were hard with that and i did get weaker each time i had one and it was harder to bounce.

mccrimmon324

Justme1 - sorry I'm originally from Philly, PA. not TN, My breast Cancer is TN (triple negative) it means my ER/PR / Her2 are all negative.  But I do have an aunt and cousin who live in TN.

bak94

I tried to go to sleep tonight and started crying! I can't sleep and I am stressed about everything right now for some reason. I have been having problems sleeping even with the ativan I take. Justme-I am also worried about surgery, and it is still a couple months away for me. I worry that the abraxane is not working, as it does not make me as sick as ac, although today was a bad day. I only work very part time and we are short on money, The other days I just stay home and I don't know when the last time I did something fun for myself. My hubby complains about how much he has to work and how tired he is all of the time. He says he wants us to go somewhere, but we don't have the money. He tells me to save up the money for in 2 weeks and I can barely pay the bills! I wish he would do the money stuff because he does not seem to get it. He is always telling me what we need to save for, but there is no extra. I am just happy when we can pay all the bills on time! We don't eat out, go to movies, shop, or anything anymore. I am extremely bored and tired. I don't even want to spend money on gas so I don't go and visit friends or family, and they really don't live that far away. I should appreciate that I can pay the bills, that I have insurance and that I can work at least part time, but it is hard to when my husband just expects more. We do spend alot of money on food for all the animals, but we made a commitment to them, so I can't get rid of them, plus they are about the only reason I smile anymore. I feel like a recluse, the only places I go are to the doctor and to work. Boy am I whiny tonight! Sorry. Tomorrow will be better and my sisters, niece and great niece and great nephew are coming over this weekend to put on a yard sale. That will be fun and maybe I will make some extra money:) Maybe me being down is the decadron crash? I am just so weepy right now.

MargieC

bak94 --  sorry to hear you had a rough night.  There must have been something in the air yesterday.  I sat at my desk and cried yesterday and I hadn't cried in months.  I hope you make a bunch of money in your yard sales to take some of the stress off.  BC is bad enough to deal with without having other stress in our lives.

sending hugs..

justme1

mccrimmon324   I thought i had me a neighbor girl

justme1

bak94 i dont know how u work ? I used to watch my 2 grand babies and one more sometimes 2 more .Now i watch my 2 grandbabies about 2 times a week -My mom is 83 and going down hill . I try to help her when i can. It makes me feel good to help out some. Far as money OMGoodness ..we have two coverages from my dh's work and past job. It still dont really pay much well it pays we just get left with lots more insurance or not this stuff is expensive. I cant think about money or i get way too nervous. My dh is doing all he can to keep up on everything. He is tired alot too the mental and physical part is wearing him out too.I day dream of days when i can do childcare again and help out . So much burden is on my dh right now. This cancer is rough takes and takes and takes but ya know what we got to go on and find ways to make us happy .Think about brighter days to come because we will have brighter days : )

blondelawyer

bak:  sorry you are having such a rough time.  this is an incredibly emotional journey and worrying about things like money also makes it worse!  I am stressing out right now (and wishing my FIL wasn't showering so that I could get my anti-anxiety meds!).

Are you getting treatment this coming Monday?  If so, I'm there for a couple of appointments and would love to buy you a cup of coffee or something.  Also, have you seen Dr. Dobie?  She helped me a lot with medication to keep my anxiety under control.  And have you talk to the social worker about funds that are available to help patients?  Just some thoughts

Sending you a big hug!

Lisa 

bak94

Blondelawyre, I have chemo tomorrow. I haven't seen Dr Dobie for awhile, so I should probably make an appointment. Today is better, shorter day at work. I did get some one time funds when first diagnosed, but felt kinda guilty because there are so many worse off than us, we just need to be more careful about spending, although we have been pretty good! It is a good financial lesson! We will have to meet up one of these times blondelawyer,  bet we have been at swedish at the same time before!

Right now I am sitting outside watching the chickens run around, one of my favorite things to do! They r pretty entertaining. My dogs are staring at me like, come on, lets go for a walk! I love all the outdoor noises in my neighborhood.  A rooster far away, my chickens babbling, the goats making their silly snorting noises, the wild birds, the wind in the trees. It is so peaceful. Much better day today, sorry I was so whinny yesterday, not sure what got into me.

bak94

Now waiting for Chemo.......bored! My phone can only entertain me for so long!

twistedsteel

I got the automated reminder call from my cancer center yesterday afternoon about my chemo gauntlet on Monday. And I began to sob without warning and cry out, Don't make me go!!! 

Thank goodness I was alone in the house and that it wasn't a real woman, just a voice. I know I have to go. This is AC #2 or 4 after 12 taxol.

I have to keep fighting but that scared little part of me let loose and said what I am really feeling.