MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

MJB - Glad the PS visit went well - hope the fluid doesn't build up again and you don't need a pump.

Followups were ok.  This year radiologist saw calcifications on my non-bc side.  She was 99% sure it was nothing, but with my history, couldn't give me that last 1% so I had a bx.  Bx showed it was nothing which was a relief, but expensive.  So good 'til next March.  Been on tamox since Dec '09.  Night sweats from time to time.  Not sure about the hot flashes.  They aren't so flashy so I can't tell if I'm just getting too hot or hot flashing.  I already had trouble regulating body temp.  Sitting still, I'm freezing.  Moving around, I'm sweating so it's hard to tell.  And I have much less energy than I think I should.  Again, not sure why- tamox?  thyroid?  never recovered from chemo?  Hoping I can get some energy back soon.

Hope the fluid doesn't come back, MJB.

((((((((Middies)))))))))

After only one day at work, I'm behind again.  But eilmar, wanted to let you know that contrary to public opinion, I did have fake ID that (shocker) my mother helped me borrow so I could go out with the guy she wanted me to marry.  Nope - didn't happen.  And I belonged to a private club at age 19 - dry area with lockers for those of you who have lived someplace like that.  For some reason the club owner decided I would fit in & they served great steaks.  So I don't so much mind settling down now since I did sow some wild oats when I was younger.

Love the hair posts.  Great to come home after a rough work day to some laughs.

Hi ladies!  It's been almost a year since I started on this trip called cancer.  I made it thru all the surgeries, all the chemo and radiation and took a 10 month leave of absence from work so I could get  thru it all.  Well I'm thru it all and life isn't back to normal.  I feel like I'm missing something in my life...I'm not the same person I was a year ago, when I look in the mirror I see a stranger....are all these feelings normal and does it get better?

Lynniea - Good luck tomorrow - will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.  Let us know how it goes.

Hey "I"never had a fake ID. And my girlfriend didn't either. It was a real ID. Well it was my real ID not hers but it was real.



Welcome Cindyjane. I can't help you with getting back to "normal". I'm pretty new to this and won't finish trearment but I would say that you are different, you have to be. This is a lifechanging experience no matter what stage. It makes you face your mortality in a more real manner. I don't think any of us will ever be the same. It's impossible to get that carefree naivety back.



I do think it will get better for you though. But I bet you stop and smell the roses a lot more in the future.

ressie - I couldn't have said it better - this is a real life changing experience and one does tend to stop and smell the roses more these days.

Even if we didn't have bc, the year would have made us different somehow. It's just that bc is such a BIG event that we notice it more than the little things. I became a grandma 3 times in the past year. That probably changed me more than bc, but because it's a good thing, I don't begrudge it.

Change is inevitable, growth is optional.

I used to love that quote and now I know why. It kind of matches something else I like, along the lines of "it's not what happens to you that matters, it's whether you get up and keep going that counts". That is a loose paraphrase as I've heard it many different ways.

We will be different a year from now anyway.

Barb1958 I love that quote Change is inevitable, growth is optional.  I heard it several years ago and it has stuck with me.

Lynnlea, good luck tomorrow, I will thinking of you!!

Cindy, Welcome to our little group!! I am a year out too and sometimes I think I am going thru the hardest time emotionally RIGHT NOW. The last year was just a whirl and numbing. Now I have to figure out how to move on, still not physically back to my old self, don't think my brain EVER will be the same--every day is another step towards healing. Its just not as quick as I hoped it would be. Coming here and reading that you are not alone and that other women are going thru the same issues--helps immensely. (((HUGS))) 

yaya I have three boys and they are just your typical man and did not really want to hear much about my BC, except that I found them talking to their Dad about it more than talking to me about it.  Guess it is a man to man thing, or there was just something a little uncomfortable talking to me about my breast.  My DIL's on the other hand have been very good about calling and keeping up with things.  Even though my boys are uncomfortable talking to me about all it I have emailed them with all results and progress along the way and they will email back little comments.  I don't have any of my children living close around.  DH has been very supportive as well as other family that live close by and friends that helped me out when I needed it.  I hope your kids come around because you really do need your family now, but sometimes I think they just get scared and don't know how to deal with it all, so sometimes they just ignore like that is going to make it do away.

As usual, a little late on a subject, but feel the need to say something.  RE:  hair........My sister took me on a long weekend to Biltmore to get me out of the house and cheer me up (I was still in chemo).  We had a great first day.  The next morning I woke up looked in the very well lit mirror and magnifying mirror and to my horror found that I had a face full of white hair.  I flipped out grabbed her razor and shaved my entire face, except the two hairs I had around my eyebrows.

YaYa - great to hear that your scans are coming back with good news....

mjb - so glad to hear that your problem was easily remedied.

Barb - you always come up with good quotes, sayings or just something funny.

Cindyjane - BC changes us in so many ways, emotionally and for some physcially.  We all have to heal in our own time.  I felt "different" when I returned to work my first round with chemo in 09.  I can remember sitting at my desk feeling so out of place and awkward.  Not that anyone at the office did anything, it was me.  Months.............later I can remember thinking to myself that things were feeling "normal" again.  Some things in your life will slowly go back to the way they were, other things will probably be different.  To answer your question, yes - it does get better.

YaYa - my youngest DD has a terrible attitude when it comes to my cancer.  There are times I just want to scream at her "do you know my time is limited"?  She is 19, almost 20, in college away from home and is capable of taking care of herself.  However, while home for the summer she will come home looking for a cooked meal every night like it was before BC.  And....when the meal isn't there or I'm tired and don't have the energy to sit up late and talk with her, she can be really mean.  As mad as it makes me, I think she is that way because she is scared out of her mind.  She recently stayed with me on a short hospital stay and knew what I needed without me saying a word.  What I'm getting at is that I think sometimes our children no matter how old act out against our cancer in different ways and while it hurts us, we have to remember that they are in pain too.  Good luck with your children, I know it's painful and causes many tears, but they do love you or they wouldn't be acting out. (((hugs))) Jenn