Chemo May 2011

Okay, ouch!  I woke up this morning and my lower back and hips hurt like crazy!  I was thinking to myself: what the hell did you do in your sleep...then it hit me, this must be the nuelestra pain people talk about.  Ouch!  I feel like I am about 80 years old!

Can't remember if I said it already, but went ahead and had the head shaved.  I  do not like it, though people say I have a nice head.  I got a free wig today from the American Cancer Society wig bank and have another wig coming in the mail to be delivered tomorrow.  I also got a "Buff" from REI that some people have recommended and a pretty scarf.  

I'm tired today, but feeling okay.  I have to take my dog to the vet because she is acting weird.  I hate taking her because she also has cancer and a number of other issues.  She usually seems fine, but has been whining a lot at night for no apparent reason, so I am worried that she is in pain.  I dread the day when the vet tells me that it is time for her to go, but at the same time I am anxious about it all the time anyway.  The vet-oncologist told us that she would be gone about 9 months ago, so she is doing very well considering.  I just don't want to deal with this and really don't want to drive the 30 minutes to the vet (we had a vet we liked when we lived across the water and just kept her).  

 Oh, and Patriotic:  no noticeable change in the BC yet.  Tumor is still ugly and red (as is the rest of my breast).  The AC better work! 

Hey ladies!  I have another wig story....

Yesterday at work I was talking to a co-worker that was checking to see how I was feeling.  She said it was good that I hadn't lost any hair.  I explained that I had lost all my hair and was wearing a wig.  She would not believe me.  I had to lift the wig up to prove I was wearing one.  LOL.  Too funny!

  I finished the two cycles the onco wanted to do of the halaven before doing any tests....two weeks on, one week off is a cycle.  Last week was the start of the 3rd cycle so we did the CA27.29 and although I was disappointed that my tumor markers are still very high 2,635, at least they have gone down from the 2,709 when we started this treatment. 

Next week I will be getting neulasta on Thurs.  after my treatment on Wed.  Isn't it amazing how the claritin works!?!...I had my doubts when they told me about it, but last night I did not have one single ache or pain. 

My hair loss is at a standstill and I am still going without a wig and actually got a compliment on my haircut today from someone I don't know and who doesn't know my hair used to be thick.  I replied with You are kidding me, aren't you?  This was a friend of a friend so the friend then explained to her that I am doing chemo. 

My onco will not form any opinion on blood work alone and they have me scheduled for scans July 20. 

This weekend I was so tired I did not want to drive anywhere so dear old Dad had to drive to me...risky at his age, but he does it all the time and I could just not even think of getting in the car, let alone driving.  Most of the time I am fine, but when the tiredness sets it, it just sort of takes over. 

I think the vitamins I am taking are keeping the neuropathy stable. 

QUESTION??

How do you take the clartin, when do you start it, and how often do you take it???

Candice

The vet visit went fine-- the vet is actually amazed at how good Beauty is doing consider by all her medical charts she should have been gone long ago. We think that she might have cushings disease and that is causing her symptoms. But the tests for that are expensive and the treatment is intense, so my vet is not necessaryily recommending it at this point. She gave us some meds to help with joint pain and we will see how she responds and go from there.

Oh, blonde lawyer, sorry about your dog having cancer, too. How terrible.



I asked my chemo nurses about Claritin for Neulasta. They said they do not see how it can work, "pharmacologically-speaking." Funny, huh? I guess it makes sense that it would block the histamines that might be mobilized by the Neulasta. Does anyone know if Ibuprofen also works?



In the chair today. Hoping for a good week.

I had my first neulasta shot last Wednesday. I heeded the advise of taking claritan and aleve and did not experience ANY bone pain.



I purchased 24 hour claritan that dissolves in your mouth. I took it the day before my shot. In addition for 5 days after. I also took aleve every 8 hours during that time as well. Since it was 24 hour claritan, I made sure to take it at the same time each day.



Blonde lawyer: I'm sorry about your dog. Dogs are such wonderful companions. They are in tune with our emotions. I'm sure your dog is in tune with you and senses your anxiety and pain. Since my dx, my little dog as been glued to my side, when I cry, she sits next to me and puts her paw on me as if to share my pain. I can see she is worried about me. I hope the meds help Beauty.



Marybe: amazing your hair is hanging in there. Must have made you feel good to be complimented on your hair.



Laureen: wow going to Ohio. How nice. I'm debating taking a short trip, but worry a little. Maybe I'm worrying too much and not living while on chemo. Glad you found a new place.



Wishing everyone se free days.

So, I just got off the phone with the nurse (I'm having headaches) and also asked about my treatment plan, since I didn't know more beyond the switch to the AC.  I'm a bit blown away by the plan, but trying not to freak--it isn't bad, just a big change in my mindset.

Original plan was 12 Taxol and then 4 DD AC--giving me about 5 months of chemo.  Since the taxol didn't work, the new plan is to do either 4 or 6 DD AC and then surgery, which means that my surgery is going to be coming up much sooner than I had anticipated and means I need to start figuring out what I am going to do about it all.  The nurse said that we should know in about a week or two whether there is going to be significant reduction and so I guess that will be able the time when I know if a lumpectomy is even on the table.  My gut is still telling me mastectomy (and bilateral at that), but I don't feel like I have any hard "evidence" or "proof" to justify it except that there is a higher local recurrence rate with lump and there is one study that suggests that bilateral mast has some advantages in younger women (with TNBC I think--I have to find the info again).   

Cyborg and MamaV...I sometimes wonder about my lumpectomy too but the surgeon and MO think that it was the right thing to do.

 MamaV, I see you only have 3 taxol left! 

Ohmygoodness sue! I was told that mine would come out at my exchange surgery - which is a long way way away I guess. Did they say why?

Bkj, I knew that I wanted to go the route of BMX route. I wouldnt entertain any other option due to my family history (mom,gma) and my own tolerance for stress.



I think we each know what is right for us and then we advocate for that, ultimately our drs help guide us.

Bkj66: you didn't scare us. Thanks for saying what you did, I'm sorry to hear you are brca positive. I hope you are able to knock the beast down with all your new treatment. Anyways We all have decisions to make. That is the bottom line. And we make the best one we can with the aid of our team of doctors.



Regarding lumpectomies, if you really think about it, an mx is really a lumpectomy with huge margins. Did you guys ever think of that? A little breast tissue is always left behind. An mx does not guarantee no recurrence. It just increases the odds due to less breast tissue left behind.

Surgery options are such an individual decision with the amount of risk we are wlling to live such a very personal choice.

Before Dx I first had an excisional lumpectomy which came back without clear margins which gave me time to think. In my cace a mastectomy was really the only appropriate choice with a large tumour and after weighing up the risk of bilateral BC (higher with ILC) as well as wanting symmetry for cosmetic reasons I decided to have a BMX. Pre surgery I had an MRI which cleared the healthy breast, but really could not ease my mind to living with the higher risks of BC which with lobular is difficult to image (mammogram did not detect ILC only US did). After surgery the PBX side returned a path report showing multifocal LCIS through the breast tissue which confirmed that I made the right decision. Sometimes it is just a gut feeling or intuition about what is right for you.

I really would never want to do Tx again...Once is really enough and I will do everything to achieve that and live a long disease free life. To this end I am also having a wider field of rad Tx as well (to include axilla with the chest wall and SC nodes)  - there was a recent study which suggests that this significantly increases survival rates. Esp as rads are a once only tx.

((take care evryone!))