Chemo May 2011

Beaglesgirl

No good news from me either sicker than ever yet. Just trying to get through this one hour at a time.... I think my bowels are in chemo shock and my nausea is so bad.

twistedsteel

THoughts are with all you girls suffering SE's now.

Love love love the pink wig, @blondelawyer

Newest SE for me is taste buds dulling. everything tastes sort of bland. so i am not eating much. my husband's girlfriend is cooking me nice flavorful broths and soups hoping to help. she's like a good jewish (jack-mormon) mamma to me.   

 hoping for happy moods, happy tummies, happy bowels, happy skin and nails, happy bodies for all of us...

eternally optimistic bc even my blood type is B+

twisted steel 

Anonymous

Hello ladies,

{{{{Everyone}}}}

I hope you are all feeling as well as possible.  I was in the chair yesterday for my third AC.  Today I'm feeling a little nausea, fatigue and my taste buds are starting to dull as well.  I have been dealing with dry eyes as well, lately. They don't wanna open in the mornings.  It's so weird.  I'm using some eyedrops for that.  The Miralax does help with the bowels in chemo shock, so I strongly recommend it.  Keep up the water!

I wish you all healed bodies, minds and spirits.

Good night ladies, may you all sleep well.

MamaV

So many of us dealing with SE today! Finished tx at 330 and went home right to bed. We can do this! We can be strong for each other! Love to all!

Sue53

Haven't heard fron NeeCee for awhile...hope she is doing well.

Cyborg...what kind of anti-nausea pre-meds do you get?  Are you finding this 3rd trt to be bad?  I'm up for my 3rd next Tuesday.

 Sad to hear hear about all the SEs...we all are such warriors but soon the summer will be over and we should be over the worst! 

DebRox

Totally wiped. Day 3 post TC number 2. Totally down.

Cyborg

Sue53 it feels different everytine. The sadness of having life and fear of BC from here on out is just binning me out. I like the wig too, blondelawyer. I heard to stay up on the stool softeners.

Katarina

Candace, sorry to hear you had to make that "emergency" run to the hospital. That is certainly an SE beyond what we expect. Hope your feeling better now. Having a fever break feels like being reborn.

Blonde_lawyer --- I like the look. Nice to see you in better spirits and having fun. I love my anti-anxiety meds and they have me laughing an relaxed more than I would be without them.

DebRox, MamaV, Cyborg, Beaglesgirl.....Yikes did I miss someone in this list. ...Hang in there and get lots of rest.  I'm so sorry this has hit you all so hard. So much for day 3 as the worst,  it can happen just getting out of the chair, and every time we get into the chair.

You all are being strong. Hugs.

Cyborg

My plan for tomorrow is to see a movie and have coffee with a friend. I need to get plugged in.

Robyn_S

Great wig Blondelawyer! It brings a smile! Twisted steel - I like your attitude- we always need someone to take turns being a B+ cheerleader person to buck us up out of our various chemo side effect funks!

My cat is helping me write my paper and is making more sense than my input today!! Off the steroids and having a bad dose of chemo brain now, left my phone out visiting, left the eggs on the fridge, forgetting every second word- shopping is a nightmare and so time-consuming even if I dont forget my list ! aaargh!! I feel like I need a babysitter! So tired today!

Winter cold here with a cold wind blowing-dreaming of a tropical holiday now - still missing my bc interrupted trip to japan that would have been next month- it will be a while before I can cross that off my to do list now maybe Vietnam or USA next year Love to travel! Any others here with the travel bug?? and planning trips ?

(((everyone))) Robyn

40-years-old-now

Robyn, I read about your winter cold and wondered, then when dudh, she is in Austrlia. Last week here (Michigan, United States 43degrees latitude) it was 90 degrees Fehirnhigh.

Never had the chance to travel, Didnt have the money to do it. Doesnt look like the money is coming any time soon.

My sister in law lived in Okanowa Japan for a while, My sister was an exchange student in Sweden. I have visited Sweden and Jamaca.

I havent even been many places in the USA

Enjoy planning your trips.

Candice

Robyn_S

Hi Candice! I hope you are feeling better after your er trip. It is never too late to dream- I have done everything backwards. Married at 17 mum at 19, casual work for years in bars, divorce @ 36, started college @36, finished degree @ 40, repartnered @ 41 and research work and now doing a phd so still a student. I travel for conferences every 2 years and to SE Asia as it is so close and cheap to visit from Australia. I had a visit to Boston. NY and LA 2 years ago and loved it- I can't wait to take the youngest (13yo) to the US and visit Disneyland! We have only really travelled the last 6 years but covered a lot if ground - Europe, Thailand, Bali, Malaysia, USA, Fiji. Making up for a long time without holidays all those years when young.

Glad I have done that now that BC has reared its ugly head. One thing reinforced by a bit of BC introspection is that our life is the here and now, and the journey is made joyful in knowing that we are traveling toward our goals that are purposeful, productive and unselfish.

I think the maxalon is working !!! The mind races while the body droops! X x x

neecee

Hi all!  I went to work yesterday, and you all were very busy on the boards while I was gone! 

I probably should not have worked yesterday, my co-workers said I was "green" all day.  Oh well, gotta pay the bills.  If I had vacation or sick time accrued, I would definitely use it for day 4.  

For those with nausea issues, I have found that flat ginger ale helps a lot.  I take my anti nausea meds with it, and it calms the tummy until the meds can work.  I also sip on it throughout the day on those queasy days, and it truly helps me.  

I am scheduled to work here in a couple of hours, going to go take a shower and assess myself.  May this be a SE free day for us all!

mccrimmon324

Hey Everyone,

Sorry to hear of some many suffering from SE's -  Had my first treatment a week ago yesterday and physically I feel fine but I'm depressed and terrified.  Is this normal?  The past two days have been pretty bad, I'm on anti-depressant and I had to take my xanax twice yesterday, with all the meds and chemo I really hate taking anything extra.  Any suggestions on how to get out of my head?  So far this morning I'm feeling a little better but that fear comes out and grabs hold and I don't know how to kick it.

MamaV

Neecee - hope you are better today so you can work.  I am out of vacation and sick time too so go to work when I really would rather stay in bed.  Hang in there!

mccrim - I wish I had advice for you.  I have been struggling with depression and anxiety as well.  Xanax is the only thing that is helping me.  If you figure out how to get it out of your head - let me know!

Hope everyone's SEs are more manageable or completely gone today!

Sue53

Neecee, are you taking your nausea meds on a regular schedule or just when you feel nauseous?  I take mine on a regular schedule starting day 2 or day 3 through about day 6 or 7 so it doesn't get a chance to take hold.  ginger ale does help but I don't really like the taste of it.

I feel pretty good right now but that is because I'm on week 3...next trt is Tuesday.

Anyone else find that their low point is in the morning when they wake up?  I'm seem to do better in the evenings for some reason.

Take care all.

MamaV

Sue - my low point is definitely in the morning - I wonder if it has anything to do with low blood sugar from not eating all night! It takes everything I have to get out of bed sometimes. I am much better in the afternoon and evening! Isn't it crazy how much we learn from each other?

Cyborg

Mccrimmon- I believe my feelings of depression and fear are normal and your feelings are too. I will say, as un comfortable as I am with those feelings, I am getting used to these feelings and not so freaked by the intensity. I try to run at least an errand a day. I am going to start at the gym soon. Very very slowly. Back to the feelings, I am becoming more tolerant of them. I find a way to cope if I give myself time .

Patriotic

Hi Robyn_S, yes!! Vacation: my favorite topic!! LOL. We have two trips planned; one to Santa Cruz in mid-July and one to Newport Beach in mid-August. Told the Onc I was going and got a perplexed look. She said the car ride would probably not be fun, after AC, if I was nauseous. Oh, well. I don't care. Absolutely NOT going to cancel. Since our kids are younger, looks like trips around the western U.S. are more likely over the next year. That's ok. There is still lots to see.



I get depressed sometimes reading those boards and realizing how many men and women this crappy disease affects. I am terrified of the prospect of Stage IV progression. I don't know how I will ever be able to put these fears out of my mind in the future. It's a terrible way to live. What choice do we have? But, it's also good to re-prioritize life. I feel that even if I died tomorrow, I have had a pretty good life. Rich with family, friends, a job I love. But, now, I want to go out of this life on my own terms; not on BC terms. That's my goal!! I know I need to take this process a day at a time but it's so hard not to constantly worry.

neecee

Sue53 - I only take my nausea meds when I need them, because nausea isn't one of my big SEs.  I struggle more with stomach pains.  The ginger ale helps both for me.

MamaV - today was definitely a better day.  I felt better as the day progressed, to the point that I upgraded myself to "Not Bad" by the afternoon.

I find I feel my worst in the morning, both physically and emotionally.  I find that I get to feeling better as the day goes on.  Today is a great example.  I was debating going to work in the morning, and by the afternoon was feeling Not Bad.

neecee

I have to share a funny (well funny to me anyway) story from work today.  I decided to wear a scarf to work today instead of my wig, because my building is hot and the wig just exacerbates the situation.  It contributed to my discomfort at work yesterday.  So I was back in our receiving area talking to a couple of my co-workers.  One of them knew I had lost my hair, and the other did not.  After I left, the one that did not know turned to the one that knew and asked why I was wearing a scarf.  That co-worker explained that I was on chemo, and had lost my hair.  The un-iformed co-worker said, "how can that be?  She had hair yesterday!".  LOL.  I guess my wig looks pretty natural!

ksmatthews

Great story Neecee!  I have had a few people that didn't realize I was wearing a wig, until they overheard me and someone talking about he cancer.  Usually I dont wear the wig though, just to work, so alot of people see me both ways. I wear a bandana and I prefer it anyday.  I like your scarf though, looks great on you.

Beaglesgirl

Neecee I have both the nausea and the stomach pains, coming out of worst of it today thank god. What do you do for the stomach pain?

Patriotic

Funny story, neecee.

MamaV

Neecee so glad today was better! I had a friend say to me "I can't believe you haven't lost your hair". Ha ha. Good wig stories!



Patriotic - I hear ya on the worry! I have decided to limit myself to only boards that apply to me. I freak out if I'm on other boards. Too much for me to handle!

dlcw

Hi All - took a couple of days off from the board and wow - lots to catch up on.  So sorry to hear about the SE's some of you are dealing with - hoping for improvement for all of you.  I am on Day 3 after the first Taxol and today felt it a little bit.  Mostly a backache and I was so happy to read that MamaV had that symptom also - I tend to always think 'bone mets' anytime I have a back pain - not rational but I can't seem to help it.

I met with a nutritionist today that is affiliated with my oncologist's office.  Got some good info on vitamins and supplements that I can take during the Taxol.  She indicated I would have to stop some of them during the A/C - what are you guys getting in terms of recommendations for supplements during the A/C part of AC/T?  Just curious....

bkj66 - I am so happy for you!!!  That response sounds phenomenol.  I am having a bit of regret about not doing the AC/T first rather than the PARP trial, especially now that the news coming out of ASCO doesn't seem like the PARP is going to be the breakthrough they initially thought it would be.  But, I know several women in the trial that have gotten a complete response so who knows - it may turn out to be better for early stage than for metastatic disease....

neecee - love your wig story.  I have one ordered - hope it's as convincing as yours!

Take care all.

dlcw

Patriotic

MamaV, good advice.



Dlcw, I was told to take Folic Acid, B-6, and Glutamine. I also added Vitamin D.



Good night, ladies. Feel good.

neecee

beaglesgirl - I chug Maalox.  It really helps me, plus the ginger ale.  I have also found that if I eat what I am craving, it helps my stomach for some reason.  The other day I ate something I wasn't craving, and it made things worse.  I have no science to back that up, just known that it works for me. 

dlcw, I'm on TC, not AC, and my onc wanted to make sure I got my daily dose of calcium.  She said anything else was a bonus.

mccrimmon324

Morning Everyone,

Neecee, I really hope my wig is as convincing as yours. 

I work in a small office, me and 4 guys, I've shown them all a pic of me in the wig and they all agree its close to my hair now.  I think my problem is just going to be the fact that I know I don't have any hair under it.  Maybe this is just like the Chemo, the wait is worse than the treatment,

MamaV - I had to deal with depression for a number of years myself, I've been on and off of anti-depressants for years.  I did have an appt with my new physcologist yesterday and I think just talking out all of my fears and having them validated helped a little bit.  Actually I came home after the appt and my husband and I talked about everything again and I think it helped too.  A few days ago I got a letter from the company that does the oncotype testing, it was just a generic letter that stated that my dr ordered the test and if my insurance doesn't pay I'll be responsible, but for some reason just knowing he ordered another test had me paralyed with fear.  I think I've totally over-reacted but its what I do best.  

Cyborg, I actually worked Tuesday thru Friday this week, only half days but I had no idea before my treatment that I would be able too, I thought I would be sick for a week or so.  Going to the gym or excercising is great for us.  I was going to the gym 3 nights a week prior to BC but have had issues with my lumpectomy incision, due to the location, it didn't heal properly and it's still open, only being held together by steri-strips, I can't really do much exercise until that heals and that only makes my depression worse. 

Sorry for the rambling!

Have a great weekend everyone.

neecee

mccrimmon - the wait is the worse part, for sure. When I first lost my hair, I didn't want to wear the wig because I knew I was bald - I thought a scarf was a more "honest" presentation of myself.  But something rose up in me the first day I had to go to work, and I just really needed to feel like I looked "normal".  Since then, I have become more comfortable in my (hairless) skin, and wear whatever suits me for the day.  I now consider my bald head my badge of courage.  It screams "chemo patient", and since that is what I am, I am OK with it!  It shows I am throwing everything I have (hair included) at this stupid disease.