Chemo May 2011

Wow I miss one day of being on and have 3 pages to read.

I missed yesterday because I woke with a cough and my one eye was red. So we went to the doctors and ended up getting an antibotic. We have been very tired. Had rads tood today.

I guess I am tired today too.

Today daughter is at a graduation party (kindergarten). Friend of hers parents picked her up.

My Thursday WBC was 3.6

I want to go out to eat but I dont think I should. I just not sure.

Hubby is putting together the new vacumme, old one broke in the middle of all this. Our house has not been vacummed in 2-3 MONTHS. I am such a bad house keeper.

Tomarrow is my Father in Law and my sister's son Birthdays. LOL two sides of the family and have same birthday. my sister's daughter and my sister in laws daughter have the same birthday too. LOL

My nephew will be 15, he is already driving on a premit.

Overall I am doing better today then I was earlier. I am trying to eat more, as I lost 7 pounds in 7 days.

Hubby has been making me these yummy shakes, with boost and chocolate ice cream and oreo cookies and whole milk. and hershey chocolate surup. YUMMY!!!!

Ok I have to help put this vacumme together.

Candice

bkj66--no need to apologize, your comments didn't upset me at all.  I know that it is all "normal" and hear it a lot.  And I think that knowing that does help some people feel better.  I'm just not one of them.  

 I had a huge cry on the phone with a friend last night and slept well--probably from pure exhaustion.  Feeling a bit better today. Still overwhelmed and all of that, but just trying to take it one breath at a time.  I'm getting a massage in a bit, which will hopefully at least make me feel better physically.

 It makes sense that we are all having such a difficult time with this emotionally because there is SO much going on.  It's not just cancer, but it effects us in so many different ways.  Like with your work situation bkj66.  And if you are anything like me, feeling unable to do your work is like a kick in the teeth!  I went from being a practicing attorney, caring for a husband with CF, getting my MBA, and doing pro bono work, plus keeping up relationships with my friends, etc., to barely having the enegry to go to all of these cancer appointments.  I'm used to be "competent" and a "doer" and now I can't seem to do much of anything.  I can't practice law like this.  I can't even muster up enough enegery to work on my "fun" projects right now.  So, I feel like a failure single day.  I know that my "job" right now is to take care of myself and fight this cancer, but when I feel so rotten, I feel like I am failing at that too.  

 Not to mention the drugs and what they are doing to our bodies and how they affect our emotions and mind.  

Our plates are full and I for one need to remind myself that often.

 Here's to a better weekend all around!

Lisa 

Blondelawyer - {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}  Vent all you need to.

"Keep on going"

You are truly an inspiration for me. 

{{{blondelawyer}}}

bkj66 - I am sorry you work for such inconsiderate people!  How awful of them.

To all you May 2011 women who post and those who don't,

Thank you for all your writing. I try to get on here once a day and catch up with everyone even though I have only posted anywhere on here a few times.

 Your trials and tribulations, your horrors and your victories, your chemo and your SE's, your medical visits and your hair issues, your lives and loves... all feel special to me. I enjoy reading all of the posts here so much. So thank you!

It feels like I have 3 jobs. Mom (I homeschool my teenage daughter). Business owner (I own a brand new, open 1 month before my diagnosis, upscale tattoo and piercing shop). And cancer patient which feels like my 3rd job. Less so now that all those gazillions of tests are done and I'm down to the labs, NP appt and chemo once a week and ultrasound every 3 weeks or so. But SE management. Timing of eating so when the diarrhea hits, I am in a "convenient" location... hahahaha. Decisions regarding when to clip the hair (once there was a lot in my food while I ate was my tipping point), what wigs to get from where (and to top it off my huge overblown cranium is way big at 23.5 inches which limits my synthetic wig choices to about 8), and all the other total cancer related crap that has entered our lives... each day I keep going as long as I can. Then I micro-nap and keep on going. At night I usually get on here and read. And have little energy for typing. So this is really my 1st time.

@blondelawyer, reading your posts has touched me. we started the same chemo on the same day. i have had diarrhea to beat the band too. immodium after 1st chemo took 3 tries before it stopped me up. i still have it all throughout the week. i feel blessed that my tumor has halved approx in only 3 taxol. so i pray that your sucker starts to shrink with the new chemo. I feel so much emotion for you dealing with widowhood, your dad's death and cancer. i know it must be hard to put one foot in front of the other from time to time. i know you must get overwhelmed and maybe almost crippled with grief, sadness and loss. i know your eyes must burn some days from all the recent tears shed.

 i feel so much for you. i hope your friends, family.... someone can give you comfort. some comfort. any comfort.

 @everyone else. please keep sharing, writing, bitching, and triumphing. I know how much I need to feel a part of this group even if usually from a distance caused by fatigue. i have to give what I have to my kids and my real life, but i love being here too even if i don't have much to contribute. i appreciate all of you who do.

good night and sweet dreams, Sisters Against Cancer, sweet dreams 

DebRox - yep. i gave up wine completely. sigh. i am a fairly big conoisseur and typically drank 2-3 glasses a night (i'm italian...what can i say?! ha!). i'm attributing my weight loss to lack of alcohol. i was told it was not in my best interest to drink during chemo. for many reasons. and, my nurse told me, "if you like wine...do NOT drink it during chemo. you don't know how you're going to feel after and it may end of ruining your taste for it completely when all is said and done." i've had such terrible dry mouth that wine doesn't sound good to me anyways. but..i did break down this past wednesday. it was my 30th birthday. i had 2 beers. and i did not feel guilty one bit.

ps...i have oodles of great wine suggestions for when you're finished. my #3 is on tuesday..just as your #2. best of luck!

debrox - hysterical! i am not joking, i literally just got off the phone with my cousin booking hotels in sonoma...myself, her, my aunt, and my mom are going to napa/sonoma the middle of July. We are running the "Napa to Sonoma" half marathon. (it'll be 11 days post final treatment...we had registerd for it 3 months before i was diagnosed. so the running aspect should be...interesting. i'll finish it, even if i have to walk most of it). i probably won't go overboard on the wine action, but will definitely partake in some. i love what you're doing to stay "normal." i think it's so important...i've said it before, cancer controls way too much in our lives...i try not to let it take away all the good things!  

 yep...i practically own stock in biotene. it works well for me. when i'm at work, i usually have a piece of hard candy in my mouth at all times, too. ha! there are worse things than having to eat candy.   

i'll PM you a list of my favorite wines soon! ciao!

I am in the chair tomorrow morning. Hoping to sleep off the benedryl quickly after I leave and get to work. I have an afternoon meeting to get apparel printed with our logo. I think I am going to print up some cancer slogan oriented shirts too and maybe some life slogan shirts./caps.

 I am childless today so I am lounging around like a sickday when I was a kid. this time though I am watching tv on my computer and wearing a soft cotton jersey skull cap over my newly shorn head which still aches from the follicle shock. I have on a SUPER soft microfiber robe. I have my puppies with me (2 six month old chihuahua's that we got before my DX) and some goldfish crackers and ginger ale.

Occassional runs to the bathroom with "runs" and also sipping glutamine laced ice water. Ahhhh! this is the life!  

 I am Twisted Steel

mwah-ha-ha 

Hi everyone. Thanks for all the inspiring messages. Good luck to everyone who will be in the chair this week.

Twisted steel, I also HATE the Benadryl. The nurse always says "nighty-night" after starting the IV. I try to fight it but usually can't. LOL



Rondajean, I am inspired by your positive attitude toward the AC. I won't start AC until late July.

Today was a bad day. I started loosing my hair. 10 days after 1st chemo.

I had my sister come over and buzz it. It is 1/8 "guard on it, we tried 1/4" but I thought it looked like a boy cut. I didnt want to look like a boy, I wanted to look like I had it cut for chemo. Now it looks like a chemo cut. (I know it sound silly but it is the way I feel).

The hair issue is one of my biggest.

Tomarrow I have 'Feel good Look good" program.

I am depressed about the hair. My leg is not working great today. It is just a bad day.

Candice

I'm going to try to go to the Look Good program too.  I have an appointment with the ACS liaison at my center for wigs next Monday. 

Happy Monday everyone! I have been naughtily stalking rather than posting lately - after #2 Tx I had a virus - sore throat and cough which knocked the stuffing out of me but luckily fought it off with a bit rest and antibiotics. Week 3 was spent working hard to make up for lost time! Now have # 3 FEC tomorrow. My blood counts were very low on friday so have to test again before Tx tomorrow- fingers crossed it is better- I don't fancy any delays !

Plils & twistedsteel- I am hoping to cover my mastecomy scars with a pair of tats - no choice with the scars but it takes back a little control about how the battle wounds look! I have never considered a tattoo before this time -I am a grandmother working on my Phd! I am after ideas!! I like your "fight like a girl" image Plils!

I did a Look Good feel Good workshop here in oz last week- it was great for ideas on makeup- esp the hints on how to draw eyebrows - that was a complete mystery to me before!! Lol without the workshop there would have been one very surprised clown running around town! Plus scarf ideas and a bag full of makeup goodies helps to make you feel pampered!

So many stories here to draw courage from! So many different paths along the same journey! It helps so much to know that you are not alone!

Good luck to everyone this week!

(((Take care ))) Robyn

I have heard great things about the look good feel better seminars.  I am schedule for mine next Tues evening.  I am a tomboy and never did much with makeup so I am taking a girlfriend with me so she can learn and help me when I need it down the road.   When I check with the contact at the cancer center she thought it was good idea, she just wanted me to know my girlfriend wouldn't get the goody bag. 

Good luck everyone having treatments this week....