Starting Chemo April 2009

I am doing much better. Thanks.  The warm sunshine is very healing this week. Spring IS coming and that does wonders, I think.

I am fairly sure you can get discounted Disney World tix through AAA if you are a member.  I took my kids there ONE TIME (they were 13 and 9). Afterwards they mentioned that they had never been anywhere where they saw so many little kids crying and their parents screaming at them. So much for the happiest place on earth, huh?  (We had a good time, though.) Best advice I read was to start early, then go back to the hotel for a swim and rest mid-day (the hottest part of the day) and then back to the park at night. That keeps everyone refreshed and from melting down (i.e. becoming one of the families with the crying kids/screaming parents).  Good luck and have fun!

Judy - I am also going there in March-just one day though on the way to friend's house in Venice.  I'll be in the Magic Kingdom March 11 and leave on the 12th.  Staying at the Dolphin on the property (wouldn't it be funny if we end up being there at the same time?).  I ended up getting the park tickets by signing up for the Disney Credit Card, which gave a big discount to purchase them with the credit card.  When the card came in, I paid it off, so I didn't pay any interest, but got the discount - you might look into that on the disney website.  I also ordered the Disney map of the park, which came last week, and that will be really helpful, as you can plan your day.  I was there a few times when the kids were young, and it is an experience!  I agree with Amy, split the day so you all get some rest and don't get cranky.  It's much more enjoyable that way!  Let me know when you are going to be there.

Hi to everyone! Two years from diagnosis this Friday.

Geri

Hi all...I took the day off today. A sick day because I'm sick of doctors appointments. Today I have three, acupuncture, mammogram then PT. I just needed a break, so I have drank far too much coffee and have enjoyed a very lazy morning. It's been wonderful.

I don't have much time but Monday will be my 2 yr anniv. I had envisioned that by now life would be relatively back to normal. Hasn't happened yet for me. I threw a total tantrum at my work last week, I was just fed up and almost walked out. My dept. had two key staff gone and all their work ended up on me plus managing a new hire it was just crazy. I think my boss got the picture. I actually threw my telephone across my desk...totally not a Betsy thing to do. But it felt good. I told him the all the doors in the building were too heavy and hurt my arm every time I walked into the building and going from office to office. They are these big extra large doors. I can't open the computer room or the safe. I can't lift the files anymore. They are trying to work with my ever demanding changes such as buying me a left handed keyboard and a left handed mouse.  I've switch to left handed adding machine, I am sooooo uber slow. So I guess I should be glad that they are willing to work with me, I guess I'm more frustrated at my body than anything else. It sucks.

But on a positive note. My arm is slightly better, I still have a pain in my elbow any time I use it but it is better. Plus, I've lost 7.5 lbs since the beginning of the year and 4.5 lbs since I've been on my diet (2 weeks) AND we are flying to Maui on Feb. 26th. I can hardly wait.

Got to go get dressed. Hope you all have a great day.

Betsy

Just passing through quickly today. Looking forward to a nice relaxing long weekend with the family today and tomorrow. Yesterday was fun, but busy with a house full.

Hope everyone is doing something fun today and that you are all feeling well.

Sending hugs to one and all, Judy x

I finally got a chance to come by today. Judy, are you feeling better? We had a couple of "warmer" days here -- in the 40's but temperature is dropping again and it's snowing. I am ready for winter to be over. Once March comes, we'll be closer to spring. Tomorrow is a holiday here - called Family Day. It's a new holiday as it's only the 3rd year. Our government felt we needed a day off in the middle of winter. I've decided to retire at the end of this school year. I haven't put in my letter yet because I don't want it known too early. I don't know if it's good for me because once my son moves out I'll be alone But I need more rest, more exercise, and less stress. I'll just have to make sure that I keep busy enough so I don't become a hermit. I do worry that the cancer will return. I don't think I'll ever be the same.

Judy -  My mamm and surgeon appt is tomorrow morning. I am VERY proud of myself for staying so calm so far, but it definitely is on my mind and I can't wait for it to be over. I will post when I have the good news that I am expecting to hear (which is "you are fine, see you in six months"). So hang in there and it will be over soon.

And that snow better not interfere with my appointment!  Isn't it spring yet??????

Amy, thanks so much for your support and good luck for the appointment. Looking forward to hearing from you when you are done. I will try and hang in there till tomorrow, it is just that every small thing this week, from a slight headache to leg aches has convinced me that it has spread all over. In around 24 hours though, hopefully, I will also be able to put it to the back of my mind for the next few months.

And roll on Spring!!! At least the sun is shining today.

Hugs to one and all and I will be back again soon, Judy x

Amy, so happy to hear that everything went well at the doc!

I will come by tomorrow after my appointment.

Have a good night all, Judy x

Great news for Judy and Amy...may we all follow in your footsteps.  My next onc app't is in April, so ...fingers crossed!  I had BM, so I don't have mammo anxiety, but, as we all know well, there is always something available to worry about!  Trying my best, and with some success, to limit the worry and enjoy life!

 Geri

The sun is shining today and I am feeling positive!

We are away at friends for the weekend, so I hope to have a nice rest and spend time with people that I love! It has been a tiring and emotional week and I am glad to be on the other side of it.

Have a great weekend everyone and I hope that you are all feeling good and doing ok.

Sending you all hugs, Judy x

Hiya all...

So everybody -- I've had enough snow already, how about YOU? 

Oh gosh, Betsy -- that sounds terrible about your arm hurting, but glad it's getting a little better. Congratulations on your weight loss, that's excellent! You too, Judy!  I'm almost "done" with my diet -- am down to 127 pounds. Probably blew it tonight with that meat loaf I made (but maybe exercised some of it off with my Pack Rat?)... LOL

Amy that's great your mammogram and surgeon appointment went so well (and you don't have to go back for a good long while!)  Judy -- you too! I have an oncologist appointment coming up on Wednesday (3/2).

Hiya Helen -- don't worry, there's nothing wrong with being a hermit! And yeah I hear you, things will never be the same again!  :-( 

Geri -- hope you're enjoying life! (That's kind of something I need to work on, personally.) I don't worry about making sure I get mammos or any other kind of cancer screening tests -- not only will the quarterly PET/CT will pick up any new cancers or mets if I develop them, but honestly I don't really WANT to know if I get new cancer or new mets!

OK, so....it's confirmed. No SSRIs for me -- even the tiny (2.5 mg) dose of Lexapro gave me the sexual side effects within two weeks, so I stopped and am done with that. Saw the psychiatrist and after she calls me back (she wanted to talk to my PCP and oncologist)..depending on that conversation, she'll probably have me try Ritalin in an attempt to clear up the cognitive deficits at least (if I could get my brain back, that would go a LONG way in improving my outlook on life!). My Coumadin dosage has been repeatedly tweaked in the last 6 weeks, finally think we hit on a good dose, and yeah, I think I'm gonna go for the "deportation" after all -- will discuss that with the oncologist on Wednesday. If she still wants to re-biopsy Cancer Breast to see if it's dead, I'm going to suggest surgery for both deportation and biopsy together.

And did I tell you -- I've had enough snow already? :-P 

OK, sleepy now (but my Pack Rat is totally unconscious hehehe).....feel as good as you can! 

Good to hear that everyone's appointments are going well. I'm the same - every new ache, pain and cough makes me worry. I don't think I will ever stop being anxious. I've also had enough of winter. Once it's March I figure there is less chance of a major snowstorm or a deepfreeze. Spring will be here officially in 22 days....yay!!!!

Hi all,

Today I had a therapy session and I really felt like we may be able to make progress. I had emailed my therapist a couple of weeks ago with all the issues that I feel I need to deal with and explained to her that I was going to need her help with strategies to help me deal with these issues. I told her that I didn't feel that I was moving forward. Our discussion was based around my email and I felt that she was helping me for the first time in a long time. So I am feeling much better about that now. Thank you all for your support and suggestions.

Other than that, I am having trouble falling asleep at night and finding myself very tired during the day. I am not sure why, but I am very restless when it comes to bed time. The exhaustion is making it difficult to function during the day, not to mention the lovely mood I find myself in from lack of sleep. Do any of you suffer with this? Any suggestions?

I hope everyone is ok this week and I will come by again soon. Hugs to one and all, Judy x

Judy -- I had major sleep issues too!  Mine really BEGAN in May 2008 (before I had even a suspicion I had cancer), but didn't become totally "pull what little hair I've got out of my head" frustratingly intractable until I started my chemo... UNTIL...

THIS PAST MONTH or so!!!!!

The other day when I  got up, not only did I finally notice that I'd slept all the way through the night, but realized I couldn't remember having woken up in the middle of the night at all in the past month, other than an infrequent get up and pee, and this time, I also would fall back to sleep on "pee nights" (AFTER going to the toilet that is) -- which had NOT been the case in WELL over a year!

Of course, I have to "take drugs" to do it. Thing is, the drugs are finally WORKING. Last late summer or early fall, I think, I hit on a "natural" supplement called Alteril.  It contains L-tryptophan, valerian and melatonin among other things (Amy I'm so glad it helps YOU, but melatonin alone didn't do jack for me when I tried it) -- this combination made me relaxed and sleepy but didn't KEEP me asleep all night -- for that I need prescription stuff. Ambien CR didn't help but Lunesta does. So, if I take an Alteril an hour or 45 mins before I want to go to bed, and then take the Lunesta (and proceed to go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and get in bed) -- I not only fall asleep, but sleep through the night now.

Funny you two brought this up TODAY -- my new psychiatrist called this afternoon (she had wanted to talk to my PCP and oncologist before actually putting me on the Ritalin) and in addition to letting me know that they all agree that I can start a small dosage of Ritalin (and us making arrangements for me to pick up the script tomorrow while I'm there for my appointment with the oncologist and another blood draw) -- she asked me how well I was sleeping!  So I told her that I'm FINALLY able to sleep through a whole night, "except I gotta take drugs to do it!" and laughed and added "Well I guess I should just shut up and be grateful I can sleep again AT ALL and never mind how or why!" and she said what works now isn't necessarily how I'll have to handle it for the rest of my life. But for now this works and we agree I'll keep doing it for now.

I found this book in the library on the way home from getting new windshield wipers yesterday. It's called "Your Brain -- After Chemo (A Practical Guide to Lifting the Fog and Getting Back Your Focus)" by Dan Silverman, MD and Idelle Davidson. Very very interesting so far. I recommend it. 

Well...it's time to make dinner. I'm starved! LOL! 

Wishing you all a fun and sunny weekend ahead! Hope everyone has had a good week and is doing ok. Betsy - how are you feeling?

Hugs to you all, Judy x