please help

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  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited February 2011

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX Barbe -  I had a good ME AM today, Ed had to go into work as one of his salesmen's mom passed away and is gone for the week.  So I went and had an early tan, helps the bones, then had a manicure and pedicure, when Ed got home we went shopping, bought myself 2 new pairs of shoes (like I needed those) 2 new tops and a pair of shorts.  Then we went and had a late lunch on the beach -  drank 1 bloody Mary and got a bit tipsy (cheap date).  I had to walk away from the shoe dept though,  I swear if I won the lottery that would be my real bad vice,  I LOVE LOVE LOVE SHOES. And I love heels, but have had to cut down the size of those, hip & back can't take it anymore,  kitten heels and wedges do good though,  and all the cool summer shoes are out now -  I GET ALL TINHLY just talking about them - LOL  I bet I could have bought at least 30 pair today were I able to do so financially.  - Just call me Amelda.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2011

    You know, I don't care so much about shoes, probably because walking has hurt me for so long. But show me purses and I get all gooey, so I know what you mean! I read once that women like purses because they aren't 'sized'...interesting. Sounds like a GREAT day though!!!

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited February 2011

    I have a bit of a purse fetish Barbe, but nothing close to shoes, when I worked out I would always change out my purse to go with outfit/shoes of the day,  but purses don't call out my name when I enter a store like shoes do.  A few weeks ago I cleaned out my shoes some,  I got rid of 9 pairs it about killed me to do that- LOL But they have pretty much sense been replaced.  The ofice I used to work at was in a strip mall that had a home shopping network store in it-  (great for luch hours) one time they were having a huge sale of these beautiful suade and leather boots, $300+ boots marked down to $12.95,  now  you do get some cool days in Fla when you can wear them,  but not the # I bought,  I have every color under the sun,  style and heel size they had.  I am LUCKY to have a husband who actually likes that I LOVE  shoes.  He has bought me a fair share as well.  Anyways the DD's never buy shoes if they need something special,  and Alexcis has always just loved to play dress up in them when she is over,  She wants to know what I am gonna do with them when I get old and have to wear those UGLY OLD SHOES (her words) I told her they are ALL HERS -  LOL

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2011

    Somehow, I don't think you'll EVER wear ugly old shoes! hehehehehehehehe

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited February 2011

    Hell Barbe if I ever end up in a wheel chair I can put the BIG HEELS back on again and at least look good sitting there,  won't have to walk on them.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2011

    Oooooo, I like the way you think!! I have an electric scooter. Had it for years due to my back. Never thought of the big heels, though....

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited February 2011

    Well there yeah go Get those Stilettos on and Zoom around

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited February 2011

    Cathi, Dink..and Judi...you ladies are dealing with so much.  I can't imagine the fustration you all have regarding your grandchildren.  Hugs to all of you!!

    Judie....I am sooooo relieved things worked out for Connor!!! What in the HELL was she thinking?? I work for the airlines...I can't imagine sending a 4 yr old for a short flight let alone a long one!! WTH??? omg!  Thank God for Devon!!! Connor now will have a great flight with his fun uncle!! 

  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited February 2011

    Judie, I just had to pop in and express my relief that Devin will be accompanying Connor to China.  I can't believe his mother would even consider letting him take such a lengthy flight unaccompanied.  What the hell was she thinking???  Portia flew to LA (2 1/2 hour flight) by herself for the first time when she was about 12.  I was a nervous wreck, but it all turned out fine.

    Cathi, I don't even know what to say about your situation.  It frustrates me to no end!  I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this stress in your life.  You should be focusing on your health, not this garbage with your DD and SIL.  I can't believe how immature and irresponsible they are.  Grrrrrrr!!!!!  Hang in there, sweetie!

    Hugs to all,

    Karen

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited February 2011

    I am hanging in Karen,  but I  find myself counting daily how many more days Landen & Ella have here,  in a sad count down,  not a happy one.  If you know what I mean.  When they leave on 3/4 for the weekend,  they won't be back again.  I tear just typing that,   don't get me wrong I would LOVE for life to be  as close to NORMAL as possible.  Aside from worry about them, I really think I am starting EMPTY NESTING emotions.  I think about Landen sneaking up on me in the AM when he wakes up and SCARING me and giggling and running off, then going in to get Ella and she is standing up in her crib and she smiles so big and now say HI-  and gosh,  she started, sitting up here, crawling here, walking here and even starting to talk.  Gosh I guess this all sounds dumb, they will only be 3 miles away, and I am betting I will be doing a lot of the after school pick-up, they only have the one car and if I don't do it, they will be in school from 7:30AM- 6PM,  now they go from 9AM-4PM.  

    I am planning on delving into work once I am alone again all day, maybe I can get some of that pay cut back. 

    I can't believe I feel like I am going to miss them so much.

    But get this when we were outside playing after school Monday,  Ella is still a bit wabbly so she falls a bit,  Landen kept saying "DAM-IT ELLA STOP THAT"

    Tonight  he is at the sand box,  Ella falls he says  "GD IT"

    Now that did not come from school.  And he didn't say it before he left Friday - we are not perfect, but we try to watch what we say.  I am waiting for th "F" word   as SIL  has always used that a lot.

  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited February 2011

    On the matter of swearing ...

    In a former life, I was a student teacher - at, do not laugh - a convent run college, Craiglockhart College in Edinburgh - now a campus for Napier University Edinburgh is a strange wee town, the most expensive homes in the UK nestling right next door to the most deprived areas. It has changed somewhat from the 80's but not alllllllll thatttttt much.

    Anyway, one of my tutors, a nun called Sister mary Olgivly was out assesing us in St Particks just at Edinburgh University and this very disparate group of weans - the 4 Johns ( all with IQ that were Mensa level, Jon, John and 2 Jonathons as I recall) were at one table, The 'ordinary' kids, the 'travellling' kids (transitional workers)

    Sister Mary was outlining a lesson in 'what did you do in summer break' We are going to make a book about your experiences'

    From one of the kids (who was under a table) - a BEAUTIFUL wee blond curly haired angelic boy (5 years old - we were primary school student teachers) said " Not another fucking book" This has endured in my memory since. The redness on a nun, in full grey habit, and we trying not to laugh,,

    I still smile at the memory. Mind you we still can say FECING (like the Irish do) without being potty mouthed. Doncha think/

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited February 2011

    Ph Nettie funny story - well enjoyed.  Children are amazing,  I know we all have a slip of the tounge every now and again,  I know I have in front of them all,  But when the POTTY WORD is every other word out of your mouth it's not so good - 

    Anyway off to watch my Steven on American Idol,  happy hump night all.

    XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2011

    My DS learned son of a bitch from my BIL. I made great attempts to change it to son of a gun. Gun was more fun for him anyway! Great story Nettie, I can only imagine....

  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited February 2011

    OMG!!  I'll bet that nun just about passed out!  What a funny story, Nettie!

  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited February 2011

    Ah, Nettie, that is laugh-out-loud funny. I know my ex-hubby and I tried to keep our expletives to a minimum. The testament to that is the fact that neither of our children have "potty mouths" to this day. Truth be told, I never heard my parents swear, so the habit never came from them (except for my mother's and grandmother's occasional "Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph!").

     Cathi, just reinforce what is done in your house...and like water, things will find their own level.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Too funny!!! Reminds me of when my firstborn was 3. Little sister had just arrived, and my pristine language resolve was weakening. My son, who rarely did anything terrible, gave me a startled, guilty look when I walked in on him rubbing a shredded wheat biscuit back and forth across the sofa, which was upholstered in that fabric with tiny loop texture. It made a perfect surface to embed little strings of shredded wheat and create a lovely nightmare. Observing the wild-animal look in my eyes, he said in all soberness, "Is this a dammit mommy?"

  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited February 2011

    Towhee, that was funny 'dammit mommie'. My father says an occasional 'sh*t' and 'dammit'. His brothers on the other hand have definately potty mouths and their children (same age as myself and siblings).

    Growing up my brother said a few choice words one day and here is the conservation between mom and Brother.  mom calmly said, 'Where did you hear that?' Bill- 'From Nevin (cousin). Mom -' Do you hear myself or dad say that? Do you hear Gma R or Gpa R say that? then I don't want you to say that any more'.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2011

    Oh Judi!! That is PRICELESS!!!! Out of the mouth of babes...hehehehehehehe. A Readers Digest moment for sure! heheheheheh

  • debsteph
    debsteph Member Posts: 2
    edited February 2011

    hi dont no if this helps but i had such a large lump i had to have chemo b4 mastectomy also had lym  nodes removed  7 months after i was diagnosed

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited February 2011

    Hey Nancy thats what my mom used to say once in awhile,  my parents didn't curse much either,   Ed nor I do either except maybe in traffic sometimes,  I do my very best to be sure and watch it though if the kids are in the car.  I don't understand the CONSTANT POTTY MOUTH,  sounds so UN EDUCATED.

    I thought I was having aallery issues pollen is very high here, but as I wake this AM more inclined to think it is a nasty cold,  Lucky me ,  beautiful weather and I feel crappy, and we are having dinner here  Saturday Night for friends 33 yr wedding anniversary - 

    My friend Blaire called last night, she is going to be a first time grandma, sooooooooooo excited after her CA DX,  she has kept saying oh I HOPE I CAN ENJOY G'Babies as you have.  I am VERY HAPPY for her.

    Well off to take a HOT STEAMY SHOWER, hoping it will help this nasal & chest congestion -

    TGIF

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Get better Cathi!!!

    Today I am free!!!! I think I'll use my freedom to nap. No preschool for five days for President's Day break followed by two snow days. I was starting to drool and speak incoherently. Connor's life and limb were in my sights. School today followed by a play date at a friend's house until 7pm!!!!!!!!!!!

    Back to the bad language...my cute story of dammit devolved over the years into more frequent, more lower-class outbursts. By the time my youngest daughter was a mouthy teen, my response to her screaming at me about the stupidity of my rules was all too frequently, "I don't give a flying f!@# what you think! I'm the mother and them's my rules" She was a challenge and I sunk low....:(

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited February 2011

    I just dropped in to check up on all you wonderful women and have been chuckling to myself as I sit at my kitchen table having my morning coffee. LOVE all the "potty-mouth" stories - so funny!

    When my children were very young, we lived next door to some very conservative, disapproving people. They had children of their own but they weren't allowed to play with the other kids in the street. With maybe one exception (reversing into a street sign when my kids were in the car!) I haven't sworn in front of my kids. One day, we had just arrived home from church. My kids had been quite well behaved and a couple who had been sitting behind us had complimented me on their behaviour so I floated home, feeling like a virtuous parent. I started making lunch while the kids played outside. Then, to my horror, right outside the window of the neighbours, I heard my youngest (aged 4) yell at his elder brother: "Get f#*@ed!" I heard the neighbour's window slam down. They no doubt felt completely justified in not allowing their children to play on the street with the likes of mine.

     Cathi, I feel for you re Ella and Landen's possible removable from your loving household. You and Ed have done a wonderful thing by looking after them and loving them so much - and to be there for all those precious milestones - no wonder your heart is torn. I'm sure that, no matter what the outcome, you have done a power of good in the lives of those two young ones. How many times have I read about the impact of having at least one, loving adult in the first year or so of life! It builds resilience and does things to a child's brain which gives them reserves to face difficulties in the future. You can't underestimate the good you have done.

    Judi, I'm so glad Connor didn't have to make that long journey by himself! Heck - it's hard enough for an adult to sit still for that long. Thank goondness for Devin - what a relief!

    Also, Judi, my middle son has been in Seattle quite a lot lately and loved it - the cafes, the coffee, the music and the people - one in particular! Towards the end of last year he met a girl from there who came out here to be bridesmaid for some friends of his (these friends had previously told him that he and Seattle girl would be a perfect match). Well, they really hit it off and there is talk of making things permanent - ie marriage. I wonder what the future holds. There will certainly be difficulties - distance, where to live, etc. Mustn't let my imagination run away with me.

    I do long to have some grandchildren. I realise that it isn't all plain sailing - there are always difficulties. My sister has an ex-d-i-l who has recently been diagnosed with leucaemia so my sister has taken over a lot of the daily care of her grandsons as well has doing a lot for their very sick mother. There is huge animosity between my nephew and his ex-wife - it's all such a mess...

    Karen, Lisa, Nettie, Sheila, Nancy, Barbe and everyone here - hugs and love to you all.

    Jane xoxoxox

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited February 2011

    My youngest son returned from the US at the end of January as his visa was due to run out. He'd been there for the best part of a year with his girlfriend. She was living out here with him but when her sister was dx with stage 4 ovarian c, she moved back and he followed her shortly afterward. Gf's sister has only days/weeks to live. She has 3 very young children and is receiving hospice care at home. My son is saving every cent to buy a ticket back there to support his girl. Her sister has been so brave and such a fighter. It's so terribly sad and any extra prayers for the family would be much appreciated.  xoxo

  • karen333
    karen333 Member Posts: 3,697
    edited February 2011

    geebung, sending thoughts and prayers your way.  Your son sounds like a wonderful man.  Karen

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited February 2011

    Aw, what a sad tale to tell.....cancer should get f\#&(^$d!!!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Jane, all I can say is WOW....and ask you why I haven't received a note or call from your son. I would love to meet him, and he's been right here! Heck, I may even know his beloved (not likely) and could give him all the dirt on her...lol. What part of Seattle does she live in? I'm right downtown now, but have lived in several neighborhoods and suburbs. What music did he get into? My Devin drove home from college to go to a Decemberists concert last Friday...local group that's widely known.

    I had severe toddler meltdown the other day, thinking I was losing it. I was restless, anxious, detached. When I started shaking physically, I realized I had forgotten to eat after injecting my insulin a couple of hours previously! Not toddler meltdown after all...severe insulin reaction. Stupidity. 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2011

    Cathi, pay close attention to Jane's wisdom. What you and Ed have done has literally reinforced brain development no matter what happens. You have made a difference. I firmly believe you will continue to make a difference in any way you can.

  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited February 2011

    Hooray! Hooray! My mortgage has gotten final approval and I have a closing date: March 9! This is hte first time I have purchased a home, and I'm so excited. I may be house-poor for a few years, but I feel it's going to be worth it. On the other hand, this may just have set off a long dormant bug to sell and buy homes. Some people do that with their cars...a new one every two years. I may end up doing that with houses, lol!

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited February 2011

    Judi, I would love it if you and my son could meet! I'm sure it won't be long until he's back there - May, I think. His girl is making plans to come over for a week later in the year - that's all the vacation time she has left. My son is saving every cent to get a 3 month visa towards the end of this year and possibly she will return here with him. They spend every available moment on skype.

    Youngest son is flying to the US tomorrow. His gf's sister is slipping away. I can hardly imagine how heartbreaking it is for the whole family...so much sadness and pain.

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited February 2011

    Just saw your post Nancy - how exciting! Congratulations! You may well become an entrepeneur (sp?), playing the real estate market!

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