please help

And MS Judie how are you coping/healing, don't see you much around here or FB, so know that your hands are full and your body still hurting I am sure-  From one COPING GRANNY TO THE OTHER- XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOX

The latest of Connor the Master Imp:

And one reason I feel better today...this is the sunrise that greeted me through my window as I prepared breakfast...

Ahhhhhhhhhhh Judie, Ifcarry that same cross sometimes,  but he sure is a doll baby  - I can see a little of that Imp in those big beautiful eyes. I am THANKFUL now that we do get a respite on the weekends although I spend half the time  picking up and cleaning and WORRYING, I guess my worry for them not eating this weekend will not be,  Amanda put the big brag on that her refund from H&R Block was deposited into her account. They are planning on taking them to the Tampa Aquarium this weekend,  nice , kids get in free - they don't, guess I just fiqure they could spend that $50+ on something more useful,  Its a big aquarium, nothing Ella will care about and Landen will more than likely get bored before it is over. So knowing my DD & SIL-  the kids will go hungry next weekend. Because they will blow every last penny left after paying what ever bills.  God forbid they save a nickle.

Thanks Elaine, and I am quite sure you are correct,  even from my own experience with my EX durring some hard times way back when he would say THERES NOTHING TO EAT, well yes the cuppobards may have been a little bare, but it was just that he didn't wanna maybe eat the tuna, he thought he should be eating steak. 

I am afraid I (well Ed too) failed miseraby at the TUFF LOVE stuff this weekend,  turns out they ended up getting $0.00 back in their taxes, apparently they owed NY state money from 2 years ago - and they took it ,  so Friday AM I got the NO FOOD PHONE CALL, it  bugged me all day.  Both Ed and I had a hand it the care package ,  which ended up being  mostly for Ella and Landen , threw in a few cans of the Ravoli ,  some snack things for them, sent milk & juice. A loaf of bread and some PB&J. I just can't deal with thinking of them not eating,  or even having a snack - UGH- I am keeping track of all this though for the case worker,  makes me ill to my stomach. I just got a call from the school saying Landens lips are chapped to the point of bleeding,  he is a lip licker (Amanda always was)  the owner of the school wanted to know why he wasn't brought in with lip balm/chap stick,  DD & SIL do Monday AM drop off.  Its a littl thing under normal circmstances but they don't get how under the microscope they are. 

Thats how Amanda used to be Barbe, could never stop her from licking in NY, and she would crack and bleed as well,  it wasn't awful cold this weekend, high 60's, low 70,s so not sure how he got so chapped,  I so don't know what to do lateely,  like I said I am keeping a record of the NO FOOD,  they have not paid a dime towards school, they were supposed to do that starting 1/1/11,  Ed so wanted to pack a larger care package, I actually stuck my ground with that,  I made it so that it was aimed for Ella and Landen, Ed was wanting to pack groceries - if you know what I mean.   I am being WISHY-WASHY again I suppose, I know this all stems from their poor money choices, yes things are tight for many, but they can afford food -  NOOT steak 7 sushi and fast food daily, but they can afford to provide simple stable meals on a weekly basis,  if their heads weren't up there butts. March 7th is gonna be here soon and I am worried. 

THANKS- XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO You know just a little tiny bit of me feels bad for Amanda these days,  she is as much to blame for these poor choices as SIL,  so thats why I was tuff on Ed and said we weren't supplying mega grocery bags, so that they could eat through out the week. Amanda gets paid Bi-weekly, he every Monday,  this is a 2 pay check week and I bet they are still broke this weekend cause Rent is due. They have criminal court again Wednesday.

Kinda told-you-so....did you face her with it????

Oh Cathi, you really did do well though. Sending groceries instead of money. Next week NOTHING. We know you can do it!!!

Cathi, I am sorry you are going through so much.  I understand how you feel.  Both my son and daughter poor mouth all of the time.  Donnie and I have put our bills on the back burner just to help them.  I love my children and my problem is I am an enabler.  Just a few weekends ago, I find out my son is letting a drug dealer use his truck to run drugs and that is how he pays for his drugs.  Well, long story short, I didn't know he was doing drugs and my lovely daughter called to tell me he had been lying and what he has been up to.  I called his bluff and told him I was going to the gym to work out with a friend and he had better have his truck at home or I would go get it myself.  Well, I get home and he is talking to Donnie and I asked him where his truck was.  He said that he let a friend use it to go pick up another friend.  Well the friend that was picked up was involved in a hit and run and as you can guess the person driving my son's truck ran from the police in it.  The police called Donnie and asked him where my son was and explained that a drug dealer helped someone involved in a hit and run, run from the police and they have my son's truck as evidence.  I call to check on things and after speaking with the police office about getting the truck back and out of evidence holding that my son was doing cocaine and this was how he was paying for it.  I have grown up with police officers and I have taught my children that I don't believe in drugs nor will I put up with drug use.  I was an enabler until this, now if they need gas I take the vehicle and put gas in it.  If they need something to eat, I go and buy it myself.  Oh and to tell you the latest on my daughter, I sent her SO away and guess what, HE'S BACK.  now how stupid was that.  He was the reason she lost them in the beginning.  I don't understand this but I have had my feel of it and they are well aware of that.  I hope you get some rest and I hopes this lifts the burden off of you some.  Yes I love my children dearly but I have had it.

Love you guys and miss you all.  Nettie the pics are beautigul and Judy, your little Connor is very handsome.

Cathi, old habits are hard to break, believe me I know.  I read a story once in one of my Church mags, the person was telling about raising a brood of chuckers (small birds) when she was a girl. They watched and waited for weeks until the eggs began to hatch and all the kids got so excited when the birds started trying to break out of the shells that they started gently helping them peel the shell away.  When the birds finally emerged from the shells they were all crippled and unable to stand on their own.  The muscles they needed to develop for survival weren't there because they hadn't been allowed to struggle to get out of the shells. 

That story had a strong impact on me and my wanting to rescue others from what they needed to be doing for themselves.  I won't say I don't still fall into that trap but I have gotten better about it even though it is painful at times.  Hugs and know I think about you alot.   Darla

Darla, I love that story.

Cathi, I'm doing fine,  have told the kids they are old enough to stand on their own two feet and they needed to get it together.

I told my son if I caught him with drugs, I would deliver him to the police an he knows not to push me.  I have basically cut my daughter off as far as giving her money and helping her.  I do help with the daycare because of Connor.  I guess she used the ids too much to get what she  wanted.  We wouldnt help her get a car so she got my father-in-law to help her and that ended up being a mess.  I let them handle it as long as I could but when he called Donnie, my husband so upset, he is 81 ears old, I got angry and took matters into my on hands and settled that problems.  I also told her what I thought about what had happened and told her she needed to get her _ _ _ _ together.

Cathi, I know you have bone cancer now and you said it is common for that to occur when you have had breast cancer but what about luekemia  Are there any connections between the two of them, luekemia and breast cancer?  Just asking no problems really.

I miss being on this site.  Love you all,

Leesa (Dink)

Leesa, if you had chemo or radiation treatment for bc, there is a chance that you can develop leukemia. Some of the chemos can make you more suscetible if you have had exposure to other toxins in your life, and radiation, well, that's a well known side effect seen in people who were exposed to atomic radiation when the atomic bombs were developed and tested, and then used on Japan. if you are having any symptoms, please have them checked out.

Thanks guys,  I have been hurting in the left hip and I have sore muscles every where.  I bruise extremely easily and I have one lymph node that is always sore.  SOmetimes it is swollen.  It the one on the right side of my throat under the chin area.  My left arm has really been bothering me over the past three to four weeks.  THere is some swelling to the mid upper left arm area and my neck to my should puffs up as if I lift weights.  The thing that bothers me the most is the bruising, lymph node pain, left hip and left arm pain.  They removed 2 or 3 lymph node from the axillary area on that side.  When I showed the bruises to my husband that was the first thing he thought of, of course we always think the worse.  I have been to the doctor but he attributed the pain to the left arm as caused by moving my office.  November 2010, I informed him that I have felt right in a while, he ran blood work and everything was fine.  Maybe just in my head. lol

Leeza Barbe may de very right about the LE, so many suffer from that with the lymph node removal,  but so few Dr's recognize /treat it .  Hope you fell better - xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.

Barbe wanted to let you know I sent NOTHING to DD's house for the weekend. Talked to Amanda on phone several times Saturday, she and SIL sounded VERY frustrated, wether is is awful this weekend, rain all day, so Landen can't get out, and Ella is still stuff & cranky with the cld she started Wednesday so she has not slept the night through in days, felt like Amanda wanted some kind of sympathy for staying awake Friday nightwith Ella (she called into work ),  I just said welcome to my world I had been up for 2 nights holding her upright.  Said it's not always all fun and games. They have sooooooooooooo forgotten reality of children 24/7.

Enjoy the game Shelia,  we'll be home watching it also,  Ed has been sick since Friday,  I sooooooooo wish he would go to the DR, he was so very dizzy Friday,  but he is more stubborn than I,  playing DR Helm as he always does, says it's just a cold/flu he cought from the children,  but the nasty cough he has he has had now for months. I nag at him constantly, to no avail,  He has ordered some wings from a favorite sports bar  as he does every year, but not sure how many he'll be eating, this will be the first time in 8 years we have not had a little get together for superbowl,  but he just wants to be alone, lie on the sofa in his Steelers sweat shirt and watch alone, and I am actually VERY OK with that this year as well.  NO real work/prep to deal with.

MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN -