please help

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2010

    Yes, it's chocolate and magazines on the couch all day with a 3 1/2-year-old. Chocolate and magazines sitting untouched on the couch all day while you ride herd, feed, clothe, educate, and tolerate. My grandson that age has been visiting and my place looks like a nursery school after an earthquake!!! But aren't they cute, though?...lol Kudos for what you do, and hugs for what you have lost to this ungodly detour. Rant away. We all understand.

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited May 2010

    I think we need a group hug!!!!!

  • Welga
    Welga Member Posts: 308
    edited May 2010

    Barbe,
    Yes WTF that must have been horible I could not stand that pain!!!!!! ridiculous. I was never offered a mammo since my bilateral masectomy, I would not accept it, if I ever find a lump I think I would call every hospital around to see if I can get one that will do only the ultrasound. What good is looking at only a piece of 1/2'' of skin. Incredible. Here we have several doctros that went private and are out of the system and some of them take patients for only one consult even if they never had them before. I guess walk in clinics are not an option if they are congested like ours. Don't give up, it's a hasell but for your own peace of mind. Sometimes what I did also is book myself for a mamo (when I had breast) even though I did not have the doctor's refence yet telling them I had one, since we only got to show them when we go to the appointment, so that made a shorter wait.

    Welga

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited May 2010

    I'm sorry so many of you are going through tough times lately. Hugs to Barbe,Welga, hrf, Judie, Cathi, 1vamom and anyone else who needs one.

    Nancy, I hope and pray you find a new abode - within your price range and with the right atmosphere - although I'm sure you would make it beaufiful anyway.

     Love to all,

    Jane oxoxoxox

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2010

    I got called today by the mammogram center saying it's time to come in. I let them know that I no longer have mammogrammable mammaries. They said they'd take me off the recall list. Foot in mouth

    I saw the GI surgeon today. He doesn't want to dilly dally. I'm on for June 25 to yank out the part of my colon that is filled with diverticuli. I don't want to lose another body part but, like my breast, this one is trying to kill me. I don't know whether to rant or hide my shaking self under the rug. It will be okay. No worries. I'm tough. I'm a @#$% liar too.

    Anyone want a supposedly adorable Mini Schnauzer???? Mr. Jasper has reverted to pooping on my Chinese rug. Often just after we come back from a walk to enable him to put it in its proper place. I'VE HAD IT!!!!

    Jane, I want to hear about your art class and what you created...that would bring smiles! I would love some smiles right now. Please?

  • cloudhowe
    cloudhowe Member Posts: 236
    edited May 2010

    Hi girls,

    I'm glad your are all on for a rant! It takes it out of you to be positive all the bloody time, even if you actualy feel positve, subconsciencly we do have that wee fear nugget buried there, often justified!

    Well, got the final scores my loves.. Bone scan was clear. Some damage caused by accidents and a bit of wear and tear, but the pain attributable to the ba fall I had when I ended up under a bus in the middle of a blizzard just befre Christmas. I am sooo very relieved as my tumour had it's own healthy blood supply, so another route for the wee terrorist cells to find new homes.

    Not quite such good news form the barium procedure. I, too, have diverticulis and piles (which have shrunk very well, so no surgery needed at this stage - although we have to monitor carefully)  I also had a fissure which was very large, but now healing well. No wonder they couldn't  do the op last November eh? Proves I'm not a wimp, which I felt I kinda was at the time. So I am waiting for an appointment at specialist clinic and on a priority list, so if I bleed or get bad pain, I have to get myself up at once to hospital. Oh I also have Irritable Bowel Disease (which I think Ihave had for a long time - had quite a lot of pain and cramps, more like spasms actually, But sparodically, do you know what I mean? Most of the time I was fine. But I am a veggie (fish eating veggie) so have a high ffibre diet, so symptoms would have been minimised. Oh the joys, eh?

    BUT .... no sign of cancer, so all the mixed news - the bad news too, my new "friends for life" - seem like a mild cold. Any tips of diverticulitis control? I have had a wee trawl through the internet, but NOTHING is like someone sharing personal experience. This last 18 months have taught me that!!

    Mixed news on the babies too. Wee Amy is pretty ill, was in ICU (now in High Dependancy Unit) She was born without an ear, jus a lobe, but it seems that she has severe breathin problems. Poor baby had to have a trachiotomy (sp) yesterday. Her throat is 'floppy' and her jaw needs work too (we cannot see that) Her mum and dad are renting a hospital flat so are there 24/7, except for coming up to take us down. She is critical, ut is looking at a long road ahead. She is ok, not in pain, but we are all beside ourselves. My cousin (her gran) flew in yesterday. So we had a nice evening all together, despite the circumstances. It's just the thought of taking  a scaple to a tiny baby's throat .....

    On the positive front - ironically - Hughie, Kez and Lilly Rose are coming up today for the Bank holiday. I cannot wait!! I havent been well enough to go down so this is the first time  I'll have seen her. Weather has been lovely - we were warmer then Spain. I hope it isn't going to be hard on Marie and Steven, seeing a perfect (but unplanned) baby when they had such a hard time having Amy. Steven (nephew) and Hugh (my cousin, his uncle) are incredibly close. Sorry, we are just so upset about Amy and her parents. They aren't going to have another child (Marie has a deficiency, and she is the youngest of 14 children, so they planned a big family, Amy going to term was a miracle, she is a miracle, and she is in great hands at Yorkhill Children's Hospital. She is contented in hospital, does not seem to be in any distress, even with the tubes, wee doll is a placid wee thing anyway. Sorry, rambling .....

    I have had 2 nights solid sleep though - long time since THAT happened, so I must have been more stressed  than I thought! Oh Big Whisper, my fine 3 legged furry, purry friend is fully recovered and back to his big sweet sappy self. He is so clumsy and find it hard to jump up on high places. He does manage the sofa though! The fur has grown back so the stump at the hip does not seem quite brutal.

    I will be getting a new central heating system installed, and the house painted as soon as my friend Joe can fit me in - then a wee holiday (Blackpool and Ireland probably - with a wee weekend in Strathpeffer in the Highlands) I am to get some intensive physiotherapy to strenthen the muscles affected by the muscular myopathy. Still got the neuropathy in the fingers and feet, though a distinct improvement in the fingertips. Have some nail growth too. Hair has decided to grow back properly now. I had the chemo hair cut off, started using Head and Shoulders (the Zinc helps growth appently) so I can go 'topless' Will still use my Irish when I go out, but think in a couple of months it''ll be back to pre BC. It was like Liza Minnelli's before, so pretty short.

    Well lassies, that's all the news from the front. Sorry it's SUCH a long post.

    Judie, best of luck with surgery. Got a wee insight into your condition now my love. That must have been why I was in so much pain going through Tax, spasms and contractions - I could time them. They lasted 20 seconds, about every 20/30 minutes) I couldn't open Devin's blog, but  I see he's in Rome. It is AMAZING! When we were travelling, my friend had a cousin who is a translator there, so stayed at their beautiful villa in the Capitoline Hilll for a week. I am mad, mad, mad on history (especialy Ancient History - I was training to Teach English and Anceint History in my youth) What is the next stage of his wanderings. I know he is going to Paris to see Muse. Devin and I share a lot of taste in music! He didn't know that the Fratellis come from Glasgow (he was amazed when they came on in a pub in Glasgow!) Franz Ferdinand are Glaswegians too - I have seen them. Snow Patrol are Irish but studied and still live in Scotland. Scotland and Ireland are almost interchangeble ...

    We'll guys, going to make some Lentil soup for Hughie and Kez - their favourite, and the easiest soup in the world to make.

    Love to all going through trials, myself included, We are amazing. I have now decided that I am going to be there for my family and friends, not strong for them.

    It is great to be in remission Only 4 or 5 more Herceptrin then check ups and recon to go. Times I thought I'd never get here.

    LOTS and LOTS of love to you all

    xxxxxxxx Nets xxxxxxxx 

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited May 2010

    Judie - I'm so sorry to hear of your health issues and hope it all goes smoothly and is over soon so you can return to health and strengh. That's terrible about Jasper's newly developed bad habit. Surely there's a way to get him out of that?

    Art has been fun lately. We had a model the other day - a sweet girl. It's always so good to have a live model and the time flew. We did 2 minute warm-up sketches to begin with and proceded to longer poses to allow shading and more detail. I love to sketch - particularly "blind contour" - where you don't look at the page but just mentally feel the form of the subject and draw blind - great at freeing up your style. I did some of our teacher the week before and also of a lamp and got some interesting results.

    Nettie - I'm thrilled that you got a good result for your scan and hope and pray you will be feeling better soon. It's sad about your dear little baby (niece?). I hope they can make her better soon. No wonder you have been so stressed - and the poor parents - it must be dreadful for them. Hope you have a happy time with your other relatives and sweet little baby.

    Must close and go off to bed.

    Love to all

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited May 2010

    Judie, I am glad to hear you are getting your surgery sooner rather than later. If you waited, it could have become an emergency/rush surgery and could have gotten messy. This way, you are not in an active infection and nothing has "burst". It is much more controlled. I know it's frustrating on the timing, but you will have the summer to heal.

    Nettie, your bunch has been added to my prayers. God bless!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2010

    Wow, Nettie! Long but packed with drama.

    Hooray for the bone scan news. I'm so relieved. Sounds like you have your "bowels in an uproar" though. Not such good news. Your high fiber diet has probably been beneficial in delaying problems. As you probably found on the net there is total chaos as to opinion on diet and diverticular disease. Don't eat nuts, seeds, popcorn. Nuts, seeds, and popcorn help prevent diverticular disease. High fiber. Low residue, low fiber. You can choose any weird diet you like and it will fit somewhere as the ideal diet or the worst diet for diverticulitis. It looks like the only consensus is that removing that portion of colon is the only thing that works. I'll bet it would help the IBS, too. My episodes of diverticulitis feel just like bad menstrual cramps...the dull ache in the pelvis and cramping just above the pubic bone. But when they press on my belly, it hurts more on the left side. After a few days, the fever starts and goes to 103 (39.4).

    I'm so sad about Wee Amy. Has she been diagnosed with a "syndrome" or are her problems unique? It breaks my heart when a sweet baby is so longed for and ends up with so many challenges. But then I guess her specialness needs exceptional parents. Hugs all 'round, especially to Auntie Nets!

    I hope you are able to enjoy the time with Lilly Rose and have lots of energy.

    Love hearing about Whisper the miracle cat.

    I think one reason Devin enjoys you so much is your shared taste in music. His travels on the continent have been very, very difficult, but not enough to bring him home. Spain brought him very close to giving it up. But he has come to realize that rest and seeing what is important trumps meeting a tight schedule to "collect" places on his list. I haven't heard for a couple of days, but his plan was for Vatican Friday, Ancient Rome today, Pompeii Sunday, meeting a friend and staying with her until Thursday, then going together to Venice.

    Love your comment "I have now decided that I am going to be there for my family and friends, not strong for them." Here here!!!

    Jane, bless you my dear friend. The vision of you doing "blind contour" and one of you in a sunny room sketching a model brought such a feeling of peace and inspiration. Thank you so much. These moments bring me back to a beautiful place that is life.

    Barbe, your words echo those of the surgeon. I knew it but didn't want it to be true. I've decided to forge ahead and focus on improved health on the other side of this hurdle.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited May 2010

    I read somewhere on here:

    You don't get over it - You get through it.

    I think that makes a lot of sense...cause we still remember, feel, ache for what was and will not be...but then one day we think about something else and each day our thoughts drift healthily around us in a gentle ripple and we "appear" normal. Then one day we begin to "feel" normal, no one is looking, no one is poking and no one is even talking to us. We are again blended in with the masses. A good thing?

  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited May 2010

    Judie, Nettie, Towhee, Barbe ... thinking of you all and sending PV's your way.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2010

    Thanks hrf!!!

    Too quiet around here. Here's a shameless, boring gramma video to cut and paste to break the silence. It's on Facebook, too. No more news from here. Love you all!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kv6hjlxPAjo 

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited June 2010

    Judie - just watched the video and found it sooooo cute!! That boy has rhythm! Loved hearing his delightful chuckles and shrieks when Jasper joined in too. So gorgeous! Thinking of you and hope you are not feeling too bad.

    Love to you and everyone else here.

     Jane oxoxo

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited June 2010

    Where IS everyone?

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2010

    I assume people are very busy and/or tired of posting to BC and FB both. But this place has a special quality not possible on FB, and I miss it...sigh. At least you and I are here today, Jane. What more is needed?!!! Others will show up. We tend to be a sporadic but cohesive group these days.

  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited June 2010

    The weather's been too good! I've been out and about plus working.  Sometimes I can get a few messages read, but don't have time to post.

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited June 2010

    Judie and Nancy - good to hear from you. Yes, good weather and being out and about - sounds good. Judie - hope you are feeling a little better. What date is your surgery?

    Weather has been wild here. A small tornado hit the north coast, a couple of water spouts came ashore in Sydney (not a lot of damage there) and it's been wet, cold and foggy. This morning the sun is out - almost forgot what it looked like. I need to get out and walk and feel the warmth on my face.

    I hope everyone has a great weekend.

    Love,

    Jane oxoxox

  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited June 2010

    I do check here every day, but don't post here much. I did just post some picts of last night's relay for life on my fb page.

    Sheila

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited June 2010

    Sheila, I just had my Relay last night too! Another yellow t-shirt and another blue ribbon. Was hard to do the Survivor's lap this year, my cane made me feel conspicuous....sigh.

    Do I have you on FB?

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2010

    Jane, surgery is June 25th. We had a funnel cloud near Seattle the other day! It was big, but didn't touch down. This morning the sun is out in all her glory. Yippee!!!

    Shela and Barbe, I'm so proud of your efforts. I feel like a real slacker. No, I AM a real slacker. And Barbe, since when was being conspicuous a bad thing for you? That cane is a battle-ax against bootface.

    Love each and every one of us!

    Judie

  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited June 2010

    Barbe, we are face book friends. I commented on your posting about relay. Check out my photo album.

    Sheila

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited June 2010

    WOW - it has been quiet around here,  just been busy on my end - thanks to you Judie I pulled up my panties and got OVER IT-  LOL. Had a most wonderful weekend but I did over due a bit ,  and suffering a bit now - but well worth it in my book.  Alexcis spent 4 days here we shopped and went to the movies, the beach and lots of pool time -  she was feeling a bit neglected with all the little ones  taking up her time.  I did one to many cannon balls and belly flops -  but OMG the first one I did into the pool - she about peeded her pants,  it was so AWESOME - she is jumping up and down into the water says "YEAH ME-MA - YEAHH ME-MA"  A marvelous moment. 

    Sending you all much love - XOXOXOXOXOXOXO 

  • EWB
    EWB Member Posts: 2,927
    edited June 2010

    Please Help...this seems like the right title for me today..a few months ago my husband announced that he had spent the past 8-10 yrs not wanting to be married, that there was nothing to work on nothing to fix and he did not want to even if there was. He also told me that he'd been having an affair with someone I know for the past 5 yrs and they wanted to pursue it more openly to see where it would go. He sees no reason for a divorce since he does not want to get remarried and wants to share the house (so he can be around to help me). We can just live separately on a gentleman's handshake. This has been a real shock, no warnings that I noticed...in fact NO ONE who has heard had any idea....family, friends, coworkers ...I can not put together this person with the one I have been married to for the past 24 1/2 yrs...I hear the words, I know what they mean but nothing makes any sense, the more he talks and explains the less sense it makes and his reasoning seems so odd, off, bizarre.  If I were healthy and able to work and support myself (not on disability) I know what I would do but I'm not and feel so dependent on him. I am so tired of trying and working hard at keeping it together for the past 3 1/2 yrs because of the cancer, now I have this. I am angry and really scared.

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited June 2010

    {{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Elaine }}}}}}}}}}}}}}

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2010

    Frankly, Elaine, what you are facing might not be literally life-threatening, but is more deeply painful than just about any life event. My heart is with you. I walked a similar path just months after my diagnosis three years ago. Words are inadequate. Truly. You will be constanly in my heart.

    Judie

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited June 2010

    Oh my dear Elaine-   I to and not able to find the right words -  words kinda seem pointless. I Wish I Wish I Wish I COULD WISH YOUR PAIN AND SADNESS AWAY -  If you just wanna vent- or rant -  please PM me anytime  -  use FB seem to check that more often these days -  XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited June 2010

    Elaine....went through something similar, but it was long before my breast cancer. I hate that expression, "We just want to see where it will go." My ex used the same line on me.

    Well, I'll tell you...it went into the toilet. Once they were together openly, the bloom was off the rose. It took a couple of years, but he finally saw her for the crazy, irresponsible person she was. Wait...that was how he described her with a more glowing expression when he left. When he said it a few years later, it was in a hard and ironic tone.

    I'd have mixed feeling about letting him hang around "to take care of me." On the one hand, if there is no one else, what are you going to do? If there is ANY way you can find someone else, I'd boot him to the curb. There's a part of me that would never trust him...

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited June 2010

    I see the financial logic to staying in the same house. A lot of people do that. But tell him you're sure "she" would like to do his laundry as it is a most intimate act! I'm sure that once the relationship isn't illicit anymore, like Nancy said, the bloom will be off the rose.

    When she starts washing out the skid marks from his tidey-whities, that'll put the brakes on any attraction she may have for him.

  • 1Cathi
    1Cathi Member Posts: 1,957
    edited June 2010

    Elaine just popping in to send HUGS XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

    I am reliving some emotions today as Blaire starts her treatments first rads at 8:15 this AM then back in this afternoon for first chemo -  a 6 hour infusion -  and her DR has warned her the chemo cocktail she is receiving will have much ill side effects,  I so recall those first treatments  -  I was a mess-  I was more scared of those then the actual cancer  -  freaked out about the POISON they were putting into my body.  She is doing pretty well,  but getting tired of putting on the BRAVE FACE for people. She had a bad week last week while changing the bandage around her feeding tube she clipped the tube it self,  which sent her back to the surgeon and created some nasty effects -  we are scheduled to have lunch on Friday - she insists she is going to make it ,  she has my B'day present,  I keep telling her not to  overdue it,  buttttttttttttt,  of coarse she won't be able to eat, but  it is a tradition with us,  she is exactly 2 months older than me.  Wonderful PET scan results she received though  - nothing noted anywhere else in the body - SOOOOOOOOOO HAPPY for that.

    Hope everyone is having a GREAT HUMP DAY - XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited June 2010

    great news about the pet scan for her! I hope she can run with that goods news for a while

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