please help

Thanks ladies,  I just can't stop worrying for Blaire, and find it so ironic that she has throat cancer,  every one that knows her has always joked and kidded her about her "TALKING ABILITY"  she's a talker,  loves to talk,  and makes a SHORT STORY - LONG,  if you know what I mean,  she owns her own business and makes a very good living WITH TALK,  she has throat cancer. She is sooooooooooooo unselfish and has always but her family and friends on a pedestal.  Nettie your words are encouraging and I will share them with her. Her dad died last year of colon cancer her sister 2 years ago from Liver cancer,  she always said that was her worst fear in life hearing those words "you have cancer" She is getting things in order with her business and I am going to be helping out with that,  stuff I can do from home. She sent me a link last night that stated that CA  found in the tonsil area has a high percentage (I think it was 65%) of already being very advanced. I hated reading that - but I told her for every bad she googled  - she could also google a good. I even was able to find a support forum like this one for her,   I have always told her about this one, but she didn't really realize how wonderful it is. At first she was a bit standoffish about joining,  but she did,  and has found so good folks to chat with.

I guess I am doing all that I can do,  I just feel like I need or want to do more. This is a real hard one for me.

Judie your words are so right,    I know some of the things that have been said to me  - that I hated, and yet I think I have repeated some of those very same things already - or I feel like I just haven't said THE RIGHT THING- what the hell is the RIGHT THING TO SAY. I HATE "F-IN" Cancer and how in a moment so many lifes can be turned upside down.  A semi mutual friend of ours whom  knows about Blaire and called me last night,  I only share the info she has given me permission to share,  this lady is not a bad mean lady,  but she said something that made my blood curl, she asked me if Blaire ever smoked, I said yes years ago when I first met her,  on the other end I could hear a deep breath and she informed me "MOST Throat Cancer is Caused By Smoking" I really don't think she was placing blame on her past smoking -  but to me (I guess because of hearing other say BC is caused by things we do to ourselfs) it made me sooooooooo mad. I am sure Blaire has already found that tidbit somewhere on the internet and is inside blaming herself a bit - doesn't need others to inform her of that. 

I spent about 45 minutes this AM looking through cards at the store,  trying to find one that was RIGHT - 4 years ago I would not have considered every word so much,  I would have thought every "support" card was ok -  they are not - I left without a card.

OH I HATE CANCER.  

The Chinese invasion arrived yesterday afternoon. I have survived 24 hours!!! I think I'll make it. Connor and Jasper have become fast friends. Even without a common language, Connor and I find good times together. He is very happy to be at grammie's. They are staying with me the entire two weeks, which was a bit of a shock, but it does mean lots of Connor time, so I'll deal with it. Instant presto-chango from lonely hermit to overactive hostess. Whew!!!

I had my first post-op appointment today, and first looks at the results. I had been very reluctant to go through with it, thinking I could live with things the way they were. I am now thrilled with my decision. My dog ears and a major scar problem are gone! Just a smooth, even line on each side and so far the boobs look good. It takes time for them to settle in, but so far look great. My daughter misunderstood what the surgeon said...I went from 400cc to 600ccs. I guess I have good skin.

And to top off the good news, as I came out of the PS's office, there was this cute young thing hanging out by the elevator, who approached me and asked if I posted on BC.org and might perchance be Towhee. It was our Wren!!!! I must say she looks great with stunning "girls" (at least in clothing). I had another appointment or we would have visited longer, but she'll be back in a month and we'll plan something. Made my day!

Boy were you too lucky to meet without planning it. When I met mouse last summer, we talked about it for 2 weeks. We need to try and plan a get together for all of us.

Sheila

WISHING EVERYONE A MOST WONDERFUL - PEACFUL AND HAPPY MOTHERS DAYS -

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shiela, comisserations. Like Cathi, you have had more than your share of trouble lately. Sometimes you think they will never end. We lost 4 family members in just over a year, including my cousin, Alex (freak accident) and my darling brother, Charles to cancer.TDon't know here

 It was a year of tears so I think I know how you must be feeling. How is you mum incidentally? She fully recovered yet? And your husband? And your job? God, you have had a time of it pet! Hoping for better times for you.

We are in the weirest political times here! Has it been covered over there? interesting times!

Well, it's my cousin's 45th today, so off to meet for a wee bit retail therapy, drinkies and bite to eat with her and a few other friends. Her boyfriend has arranged a wee party tonight. Hope I can stay the pace.

Take care girls,and enjoy the rest of the weekend. Shiela & Cathi - big hugs!!!!

Nets x

Barbe, Wren recognized me from pictures I have posted here.

Sheila, I'm so sorry about your dear uncle. From your words it is clear that his memory will always be in your heart. He sounds like a good man. (((Sheila)))

Cathi, how is your friend doing? How are YOU doing?

Nettie, I don't follow politics closely, but have seen enough to know it is an unusual election. Having such close numbers creates the chaos of recounts and suspicions of tampering. I hope it doesn't go that far.

Hi Jane! What's new in Oz?

I am living in the chaos of adding two people to my tiny space, trying to recuperate from surgery, and enjoy this precious time. It looks like they will stay until June 4! Connor is still jet-lagged and wanting to have his active play time at 2am. I hope that settles down soon. He is very excited and happy to be here and chatters away at me just like before, except now it is in Chinese. He and the dog are so cute together. If I ever get pictures taken I'll post one.

Shelia so sorry about your Uncle - XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Judie  ,  Blaire is going to her first ever female Roller Derby today.  She and her daughters went for pedicures this AM.  My wonderful husband searched and searched for me and he found 3 DVDS for her of Bette Midler in Concert - SHE LOVES BETTE MIDLER.  It will be good recovery medicine for after surgery and durring rads and chemo.  I chatted with her SO on Friday (Steve is a most wonderful man ) they have been together about 9 years,   anyway he said to me he is SCARED TO DEATH and he is having a hard time holding it together and not crying in front of Blaire -  it was so heartbreaking,  he said that Ed and I are his inspiration to make it through -  me I am trying not to cry while talking to him.  But I told him that it would be ok if he did cry with Blaire -  explained that right now she's spending a ton of time reassuring others (DD's ,  friends, family) thats 'EVERYTHINGS GONNE BE OK,   that having some one to share her innner mst fears with,  someone to cry with is ok. Anyway he is beside himself,  Ed said  he tried all the time not to cry in front of me - because he is supposed to be THE FIXER,  UGH-  such pain and emotions people have to endure-  I HATE CANCER.  

Hope all had a great day. Weather her was PERFCT -   For those who don't FB here's our Miss Ella wishing all her BC.org G'ma's a HAPPY MOTHERS DAY -

Hello everyone!  Sorry I've been MIA.  We're still not in our new house, but it should be just a few more weeks at the very most.  Yippee!!!

Cathi, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.  I hate this stupid disease too.  Prayers are going out to you both.

I'm so sorry about your uncle, Sheila.  It sounds like you and he were very close.  (((((Sheila)))))

How great that you and Wren met, Judie!!  I think she lives in South King County, doesn't she?  What a coincidence that you would run into one another like that!  Very cool!!!  I wish I lived closer to you.  I have such a phobia about driving in Seattle.  If you're used to it, I'm sure it's no big deal, but I'm not.  Last time, I ended up driving the wrong way on a one way street.  I just about peed my pants!!!

Well, take care everyone!  I hope you all had a great Mother's Day!

Hugs,

Karen

Thats Barbe -  she is our little chubett right now - it little (or big) cheeks are so much fun.

Karen hope Porta has relief soon -  ugh teenage years don't help for sure. Thanks for your thoughts about Blaire -  she's holing her own emotionally right now -  the emotional baggage that comes with this shit sucks.

XOXOXOXO

Thank you - Ella likes the water,  she is the same age as Alexcis was when we started her out in the Gulf and pools,  now she is a fish. Loves swimming.

Tomorrow @ 10:45 is the day,  Blaire has her surgery,  expected to be 3-4 hour surgery.  She is holding her own emotionally,  she did request some anti anxiety meds the other day - which has helped - she siad " no shame in my game"  she told me tonite when she is better (surgery/treatments) she wants to hire a photogropher and her and I do some kind of photo montage for our girls,  what the heck I am game. I am praying so hard they do not find anything worse when they start the surgery,  she has been told there is always the chance they could have to do a tracheomety if that were the case -  I can't even begin to imagine waking up to that.

Well sisters say some prayers for my dear friend.  LOVE YOU ALL.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Thanks Mouse,  surgery went well  - but long  - almost 5 hours,  they had some issues with the feeding tube,  as far as the throat,  they removed both tonsils (only one showed CA on the CT scan) ,  part of the palet and lymph nodes,  of coarse awaiting biopsy on the nodes,  the surgeonn was quite pleased at what he did see  NO SURPRISES from what CT scan showed,  so that is good news.  She is in ICU and if all continues well she can come home Saturday.  So relieved  -  step #1 done -  One day one step at a time.  Her DD's were a wreck today one lives here the other teaches  first grade in Atlanta and could not be here,  she's flying in for the weekend.

LOVE TO ALL - XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Thanks Nettie,  DR said he might have the biopsy results by Friday,  otherwise it will be Monday/Tuesday. Yes waiting for thos results stinks,  hopefully she will be under the influence of drugs enough to keep her less worried for a few days. Well off to take Margo for her SPA Day, have a wonderful Tursday all.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO