January Mastectomy

Elaine:  Try to cheer up!  Sometimes I feel like Tim Conway's little old man character how slowly I walk.  When my disabled husband can beat me walking to the store it is pretty bad.  I know we'll all get there.  We just have to give our bodies time to heal themselves and get strong again.  I can already tell being able to do physical therapy at home is making a difference.  People are noticing I'm not walking all hunched over like I was before.  Small steps make a difference.  It just takes a little longer to get there, but you do reach your destination!

Freaking out just a little bit....

I noticed that the skin on the underside of my breast is looking dimpled and ripply....hard to describe but it's not the way it normally looks  My TE's are very full right now..is this from stretching? or added weight of the TE's...any ideas?  is this temporary?  has anyone experienced this? There is no pain or discomfort.....but I'm a little worried.

I've got a call in to my PS...I'm hoping he will say it's nothing to worry about and just a temporary effect =(

Any thoughts are greatly appreciated..... 

Kat so glad your husband is doing well even though black and blue....hope he recovers quickly

Healing and strength to all,

Laura 

{{{{Hugs to all}}}}

My abdomen is definately still collecting fluid. I noticed today that I had a little trail of fluid coming out of my belly button (this happened last time also).  It is kind of like the overlfow valve on the bathtub....abdomen gets to full and belly button releases the pressure......sigh

Speaking of  Ripples and dimples....tuna cans....foobs.....someone was asking me questions the other day about various BC things.  When I was finished, I looked at her and said "I know way more about this than I EVER wanted to know"  This really is one subject I would rather have not needed to research.

It is very exciting to see all of the exchange dates and recon dates coming up. 

Sally

Laura:  I have what looks like huge pores on the underside of my TE side.  I think it IS my pores because my skin is pulled so tight.  Since I'm done with fills right now, I can tell when thngs have moved in there.  I don't feel like my foob is choking me anymore at least and everything seems to be moving down now.

Sally:  Have you called your doctor/surgeon?  What do they say?  It definitely sounds like your body can't absorb the fluids right now but maybe it isn't anything to worry about either.  My father-in-law "leaks" on his legs and fluid will run down them sometimes.  It is because he has heart issues.  Just call the doctor.

Sitting here at key-moe treatment #3 bored out of my mind! TE's are still so painful on day 4 of the fill-I don't know what the deal is this time. Maybe because I'm finally bigger than I was before. Who knows. Playing on my phone with an iPod in my ears, and people watching. Very interesting group of people-I'm the youngest in here by at least 10 years.



Hope everyone has a great day!

You know, what is up with the big pores?  I have those too and I don't like them at all.  They're on the left (non-cancer side) inner/clevage portion.  I hate them!  My DH says they'll stretch out taut with the fills which is a little discouraging because that means I have to keep getting bigger for that to happen and I didn't really want that.  (but of course he does, hence is why he's saying it...HA!)  I'll be anxious to see how they look tomorrow at 420cc...maybe (just maybe) the implants themselves will have something to do with the 'pores'  Maybe the corners of these TE's are just so crinkly and crappy that skin can't lay nice over them.  I hope that's it...I'll ask PS and keep you posted.   

Good luck Sally!
Kat 

Morning Kat and all,

Here's my theory....skin at the cellular level drapes over forms in a certain way.  It the skin is pulled contrary to it's natural tendency it will crinkle. If you take a leaf...and the membrane of the leaf is bending in a natural way it is smooth...but if you take the same leaf and try to stretch it in an unnatural way it will crinkle.  This may be crazy....does this sounds too nuts....maybe I study plants to much

Here's a link to an illustration I've done (click on the little drawing in the album): 

http://s882.photobucket.com/albums/ac29/lauragld/?action=view&current=breastillustration.jpg

I think that once the pressure is off the section that is stressed it will be happier.....my breast that is showing large pores and crinkles has always pulled further towards my armpit.  The curved lines on my booby drawing represent how the skin lays over the breast mound....the straighter lines show where my big pores and crinkles are.  I clearly am thinking about this way too much

I'll take my drawing with me and my theory of skin at the cellular level and see if I get a laugh out of my PS =D  I'll update his reaction later today........

Best to all,

Laura 

My "boobs" are killing me!  What the hell?  I've tried going braless, changing to a regular bra vs. a sports bra, sleeping on my back, switching sides over and over...I don't know what's going on.  I changed my fill appointment to 2 weeks instead of 3, but I may have to change it back!  The one good thing-I do look pretty cute in my tight t-shirt.  Sigh.

AWESOME NEWS!  I just got a part-time job working as an assistant for a Realtor who works out of her home.  She hired me within 2 minutes of talking to her on the phone-experience helps, even if it was 9 years ago.  I told her about the chemo and needing Thursdays and Fridays off every 3 weeks (plus my PS appointments), and she was totally fine with it.  Amazing!  Prayers answered!

I hope everyone is having good weather, and enjoys the rest of their day!

Good morning Team January.

Hope everyone is well on this sunny Sat morning.  I had a fill yesterday and I'm now at 420cc.  I don't want to go any further.  I've got another appointment in 2 weeks and it's not for a fill but rather to discuss my exchange date and the type of implants.  I'm not sure why he is so 'forgetful'  He says "so, we're going with saline implants right?"  No, I'm going with silicone and back and forth about the MRI's etc.  I don't give a crap I'm getting silicone. 

I'm not happy with this fill.  I went more lateral and lower and now I'm wider rather than up higher.  It seems the more they fill the heavier and saggier they get.  I just want to stop now.  I almost wish he could aspirate out the 60cc he put in.  The plane of large pores on the left inner cleavage are actually hair follicles and he doesn't think there is anything that can be done with them.  I say we can remove some extra skin but he is so ULTRA conservative I'm not sure what I'll end up with.  And speaking of cleavages, it's all up to your sternum and it doesn't look like I'll be getting any cleavage at all despite having big 'breasts'.  Kind of a sad day at the PS office truthfully. 

Laura, your leaf theory is good and I hope you are correct.  I just really want the round implants in there and see if it all smoothes itself out.  I guess I'm looking at 400cc implants (since I'm overfilled now)   It's exasperating.  My husband keeps saying to increase the fill and they will get rounder and I keep saying are you out of your mind?  Nothing is going to change except they will be at my knees.  I'm truly done trying to please a man now with the size and just be happy for me.  I feel like I compromised already with this last fill so enough is enough.

We went to a cocktail party last night and it was interesting.  There were about 30 people (men and women) in the room and it was like one of those commercials where it shaded 5 random women who have all had breast cancer.  Now that's way more 1 in 8...and what about the women who have breast cancer and don't even know it yet?  It truly is an epidemic. 

One of the gals who had breast cancer about 10 years ago had a Lat dors construction and it looked amazing.  She had a unilateral mastectomy but it matched almost perfectly to her other breast.  I think the trick with that procedure is to start out being small breasted to begin with.  She had an implant placed under the muscle of her unaffected breast and then the implant plus the back muscle to the mastectomy.  It was perfect and felt very lifelike.  She had a slight nipple protrusion and her tattoo areola was very faded..but still looked awesome.  The scar on her back was nothing....she had a 3 inch long very healed area...looked great and blended right in.  I'm a little jealous I didn't go that route truthfully.....I guess the moral of this story is for those of you thinking reconstronstruction in the future, consider that procedure.  I think the results make it look more like you had an augmentation vs. a reconstruct and looks extremely natural.  It was good to see this gals results 10 years post op.  It does give us hope!

Well, off to do laundry.  I'm glad I'm not sore from my fill...I even forgot my ibuprofen before it and then we went out to that party so I didn't want to take any meds if I was going to have a cocktail or two and I don't feel any different than before the fill. 

Congrats on the job Kim and good luck on your first day back Gina!  Take it easy and don't overdue.  There will be no more trips to the hospital for you young lady! 

Have a great weekend ladies,
Kat

Marianne, I have never heard of the age issue with BRCA either.  I'm not sure what that would have to do with having it done. 

Kim - Congrats on the job !!  

Regina - enjoy that party, and tell your Sarah happy birthday from Team January !

Kat - how is DH doing (other than pestering you about bigger fills) ?  I think you are absolutely right to stop when you are ready.  Don't let anyone talk you into bigger or saline if that is not what you want.  You deserve to have exactly what YOU want !!!

Debbie - How are you? 

I am going to PS on Tuesday to discuss my phase 2, so we will address the fluid build up at that time.  It does not seem to be building as fast as it did last time, so maybe I'll get lucky and it will absord before I see him .

{{{{Hugs}}}}

Sally 

Cathy and Kat,

Here's the real twist....the reason we requested the genetic testing is that I was adopted.  I have absolutely no knowledge of my biological paternal family, but actually met my biological mother and has some sketchy details of her family.  I know I had a maternal aunt that had breast cancer at an early age and then died from metastatic breast cancer later in life. 

I'm hoping to appeal on those grounds -- if I knew my medical history I wouldn't be as concerned about it.  By doing the genetic test on me, then at least my daughter would be better equipped to handle her situation. 

This should be a fun battle.  I am going to let the appeal process take its course.  The doctor that ordered the genetic testing will go to bat first on this one.  Remember I used to work for the insurance company, so I understand the process.....I will challenge their corporate medical policy based on age.....I can't wait to hear their rationale on this one.

Kat as for the fills...I was concerned too because the TE's look more horizontal on my chest than vertical.  The PS assures me that I shouldn't worry about it.  The only thing he keeps looking for is that the cleavage would be in the center of my chest -- that they are evenly spaced apart.  I was concerned that one TE appeared to be more "under my arm" than the other.  He said it looked like one of them has turned a little, but again, not to worry.  Because he is off for a week, it will be 3 weeks between my last and next fill.  I have to tell you that the exercising is really a great help.  It actually stretches the muscle, too, so I believe it is helping.  I am at 400cc now and I told him I felt like I was large enough.  I don't want to end up too big.  He said if I am happy at that point, then he will fill more just to make the pocket large enough to accept the implant and ensure there is enough room for them to move naturally.  It all sounds good.  I agree there is a lot of trust there.

Actually, my husband is worried they are already too big.....I'm sure that's because he's not even used to having breasts there!

Best wishes to all on a great spring day!

Marianne

Morning all,

Kat, I completely agree with you about the fills and the large pores, and pleasing others.  It seems to me that these pores didn't appear until the skin got more stressed and stretched....so I don't see how stretching more will help? >=(  I have 480cc now....I had no idea because it wasn't until after the last fill that I was told that I had 120cc at the time of surgery.  I have made it clear all along that I don't want to be any larger than a B.  He says right now I am a "full" B.  He wants to do one more fill just to give the implant room to settle naturally.  When I see my PS on Tuesday I'm going to ask him if he forgoes this last fill what size would I would I be...a "medium" B? I am not giving DH have any say in where I stop....I figure my body, my boobs, end of story  

I know that chest wall size makes a big difference in the size of the TE's.  I am 5'8", 180lbs, large boned and my chest measures 40".  I am having a hard time picturing the shape of my TE's transforming into a natural looking breast.... The scar across my breast has no give to it and causes my fills to pillow out above and below the scare....especially below the scar....getting lower that I like  Any thoughts on this are more than welcome!

I think the closer I get to the final date the more worried I become about making the right choices. I hear over and over again on the exchange boards that the implants feel smaller and look smaller than the TE's (thank gawd!) but it's just hard to make a choice when I wont really know how I'll look until I come out of anesthesia =o\

Cathy, I love agave and have used it for years.  I don't take sugar in my coffee or tea but I use agave on my steel cut oatmeal  I try to eat lots of berries, nuts, dark leafy veggies and curciferous veggies.  I do have a soft spot for dark chocolate....and try to keep the portion small    I haven't eaten any red meat in years....sticking mostly to lean chicken, turkey and fish.  My cancer was not estrogen/progesterone sensitive.

Gina I hope your daughter had a wonderful 16th Birthday....I'm sure it was worth waiting for  I hope the fluid buildup goes away naturally and you don't have to worry about it anymore.

Kim I hope your boobs have stopped hurting, it's no fun when fills are so tight.......

For everyone going through pain, healing and frustration I hope each day brings you closer to feeling better and stronger..

Laura 

Morning Kat, WHERE'S MY CAMERA!  I think I'll do my photo session after DH has gone to work tomorrow morning  So glad to hear your feeling so much better!

xox

Laura