Starting Chemo April 2009

Yay!  Betsy got her drugs!  I'm thankful for that!  And my job and my DH and kids and spring and all of you on here..oh..and that Kansas and Georgetown got beat in the b-ball tournament and will help my Buckeyes immensely....can I say that????

Just passing through quickly today : )

Geri - how are you doing?

Hugs to all, Judy x

GERI: HOW WONDERFUL.  Congratulations about good news.  Bring on the surgery!

 It really is SO bizarre how we look forward to things one would think we would shy away from. The day before my last chemo, there was a possible problem with my port and as they were testing it to make sure it was ok (which it was), I was crying and begging "I just have to have my chemo tomorrow. Please...can you just do it through a vein if the port doesn't work? Please???"  And the whole thing was so ironic that here I was begging for chemo.  Same as you being so glad to have the surgery next week.

Truly - what a long strange trip its been. (Old rock/roll reference - who knows where it's from? )

Again - so happy for you!

Amy

Thank you Amy and Titan - yes, we certainly do get a slightly (?) weird spin on things, having been through so much.  In my head, I am finishing Herceptin (therefore all my infusion treatments are done) on June 29th.  I've had this date marked on my calendar since before Christmas - even a delay of one week could send me into an uncontrollable rage!  I will be done June 29th, and the onc better not be standing within reach if that date changes!....But - it won't change...it won',t won't, won't.

Treatment #38 of 52 is tomorrow.  I will be going out for a celebratory martini when I reach single digits (April 27th - 9 infusions will be left), and I'll virtually invite all of you, so put your orders in now  Drinks on me (alcoholic or not, doesn't matter so long as you join me!

Geri

Geri - such good news! I am so pleased that you are able to have the surgery. I also remember, my husband practically dragging me to chemo every 2 weeks and then when they did the blood count, I was hoping above all that it would be ok to have the infusion that day! It is all such a strange shift in priorities and having everyone here who actually understands some of this madness is incredibly important for us! That way, we know we are not actually going crazy : ) Good luck Geri, we will be thinking of you so much over the coming week. I love Martinis, so looking forward to that!

Betsy - it is good to hear that you are also looking forward.

Helen - how are you doing?

Hugs to all for a good day,

Judy xxx

Judy, Geri and Betsy:

I'm so glad you're all OK by now (and good luck with the surgery, Geri)!  {{{{{hugs}}}}}

Alaina -- I'm glad you're enjoying life, even though I don't believe in celebrating cancerversaries. 

Amy and Titan -- I can't afford $50 nightclothes but yeah, wouldn't it be nice to have something to wear that negated the sweat of hot flashes!! Ewwww, I am so sick to death of the hot flashes. I fhought going off the Tamoxifen would have stopped them, but noooo......I get 'em both day and night, STILL.  >:-P GRRRRR!

This hasn't been a good week for me though. I got taken off the Tamoxifen because of a blood clot, well, every day starting last Tuesday I've had to go get Lovenox injections! Yes, every single day, including over the weekend. Tomorrow is the last one (er, well, hopefully: I originally thought YESTERDAY's would be the last but my oncologist changed the order to add shots for today and tomorrow, plus an extra blood test on Friday). Weekdays I get the shots at the cancer center -- which was closed over the weekend so I had to get the Sat and Sun shots at the hospital.

THEY HURT WORSE THAN NEULASTA! Neulasta shots only hurt me WHILE they were being administered, but once the nurse finished giving me the Neulasta shot, I was fine right away. Well this Lovenox crap hurts MORE than Neulasta when I get it (in the STOMACH -- I tried one Neulasta shot in the stomach, hurt like hell so I said "in the arm" for the rest of them: still hurt but not AS bad as in the stomach). I don't have the option to get the Lovenox shots in the arm -- believe me I asked! -- they say I can ONLY get them in the stomach, and on top of it hurting while I get it, it hurts for half an hour AFTER! I never thought I'd "miss" Neulasta shots, but here it is -- I'd rather get Neulasta shots than this f***ing Lovenox crap!

Here's a scary thought -- what horror is next in this stupid cancer "journey" which will make me look back with nostalgia on Lovenox injections?  :::::shudder:::::

~Lena. 

Thank you all for the good wishes - one week from tonight and the surgery will be over.  Just keep sending hugs, pryers, thoughts....anything that you think will help!

Lena - sorry that you are having a rough time with the Lovenox.  I had to give my daughter those injections many years ago, and I recall her sreeching at me when I gave them, so I know they are not pleasant.

 Judy, you always ask us how we are doing....how are you?

Geri

Lena, sorry you are going through more problems.....(((hugs)))) .. hope you feel better soon and don't have to have any more of those nasty shots.

Betsy - I remember the horrible aches after the Neulasta shots. You know sometimes even now, I get "phantom" bone pain in my jaw bone. Yuck!

Lena - I hope you are ok and not suffering too much!

Geri - thanks for asking, I am generally doing ok. I have been trying to wean myself off prilosec this week and so far I have been ok. My hair is growing in curly and I cannot manage it at all. I keep on complaining, but then remember, it is better than the alternative. I am also very tired a lot, but I just try to push past that. I am feeling lucky, that even with all my little ailments, I am here and adjusting to the "new me". Now I just have to decide if I want to have reconstruction, but I am not in a hurry at the moment to have any more surgery.

Hugs to everyone, take care, Judy xxx

Hi all

Betsy - do you have your results yet? Are you ok?

Titan - thanks! I know, I started my chemo on April 21st, I can hardly believe that it is almost a year! What I find so amazing is that I can still relive the whole chapter as if it was yesterday! I wonder if that will fade in time.

How is everyone doing today? Geri, are you getting ready for the big day? Helen, how are you holding up at the moment? Lena, how are you doing?

Dawn - we miss you! How are you doing?

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

(((((HUGS))))) to all of you wonderful ladies! Judy xxx

Geri, you are entitled to be cranky, especially here where we all understand. I'm thinking of you and hoping for surgery to be as easy as possible for you. Please let us know how you are doing.

Geri..good luck with your surgery....you will be fine!  We will be here to listen to your whining about the drains...!  

Tell me about being back in that place!  I went with my DD for an appt...she had a lump in her throat..which is kinda freaking me out a little...they are also testing her for hypothryroidism...I think i spelled that right..but I swear that my BP was up just sitting there waiting for her...The magazine I was reading was 2 years old and I read an article about how if you had treatments for BC you should have your heart checked periodically...of course we already KNOW that...but then I was thinking..my heart hasn't been checked since b-4 chemo...I'm thinking that it needs to be checked..just to be sure....there is some heart issues on my dad's side so it may be the thing to do,

Hey Lena...how is that Pack Rat..and how are you doing...Geri is right..we need a story,,,,,

Betsy, glad to hear that your biopsy came out..well ..OK...the rad fibrosis (spelled wrong I'm sure)..is not fun but you will deal with as well as you have dealt with everything else.

What the h is normal anyway...I think that we are all way beyond that!  I was maybe a little beyond normal before...now I know that I'm way out there!

My boss had me in tears this week..had my evaluation...he said that I had had a tough year (yes) and that several people came up to him commenting on the fact that I still made it to work every day and did my job....My DH and I had talked about me going on a leave of abscence but I really didn't want to do that..I wanted things to be as normal as possible while I went through chemo...funny thing..but do you guys really remember the time during chemo?  I feel now that I was in a constant fog and cannot believe that I actually was able to do my job...

Hi all, just passing through quickly this evening.

Geri - we are all thinking of you and you can be as cranky as you like, we will listen as much as you need or want us to : ) Good luck for this week!

Titan, I really enjoyed your posting, I like to hear you chatting away. I am in awe of anyone who managed to work through chemo, I was completely useless for most of the time and so depressed that I almost disappeared into myself. I never thought that I would ever pull myself out of it. I am still extremely frustrated by my family members who think that every thing is back to normal when it just isn't for me. I am so tired and find that I struggle through the day sometimes. Anyway, enough whining for one day.

Betsy - hope that you start to feel better soon. So far, so good without the prilosec!

Sending you all hugs and have a good evening, Judy xxx

Hi Judy and Titan,

 I too love your chattiness, Titan, and like Judy, I can't imagine working and going through chemo at the same time.  I went back to work part time when I finished the Adriamycin, Cytoxin and Taxol - I'm still on the Herceptin, but I manage about 3-4 days/week to work, and like Judy, I'm really exhausted  a lot of the time.  Well, I'll be out again for at least 4 weeks with the surgery on Wednesday, so a forced work-rest.

Thanks for the ok to whine - I'll try not to take advantage of it .  Can't believe tomorrow is Monday already - oh well, this time next week I'll be in recuperating mode! 

Where's my story, Lena - come on, we need you!

Glad your stomach is behaving more Judy - I too remember that nasty heartburn...and you've been dealing with it for so long - you deserve a break (come to think of it, we all deserve a break!) 

Geri

I love passing through and reading the day's news! Geri, thinking about you for Wed!

Helen, how are you doing?

Dawn, we miss you!!!

Hugs to all and take good care!

Judy xxx