Starting Chemo April 2009

Titan

Hey Judy! We miss you...hope to hear from you soon!

The I feel ugly club?   I don't feel ugly as much as fat and old..can't believe I have a kid old enough to get married.... And those mother's dresses'...ugh..talk about matronly...maybe I have to face the fact that I'm no kid anymore..time to grow up.

Helen...I know what you mean about the "other shoe" to drop....it is in the back of my mind...I try to keep it there but it is stil comes out now and then..I try to keep really busy

JudyNaomi

Hi all, sorry for not checking in earlier, it has been a bit of a busy weekend.

I saw the doc on Friday and she said that it was probably nothing to worry about, just the vaginal wall being thin due to lack of estrogen. I need to speak to my onc about using some kind of estrogen which will not put me at any risk.

She does want me to do a pelvic scan though to be sure there is nothing wrong in the Uterus, but she doesn't think that there is. I am having that on Thursday.

I hope everyone is doing ok,

Betsy and Helen, I hope you both feel better soon.

Thank you all for your concern and for looking out for me. I will keep you updated during this week.

Take care and hugs to all of you wonderful women!

Judy xxxxx

Titan

Good news Judy!  I'm sure your uterus is fine (ha ha,..only on this type of thread would we be talking about uterus'?/Uteri?  Whatever,....

Lena...I did tell my dd about the movie but it really didn't sink in....I will pass on the warning though!

inthemoment

Great to hear from you, Judy - and with what sounds like very good news.  As Titan says, who would have thought we'd be discussing the thinning walls of your uterus as good news - oh well, everything is relative!

LENA - great to hear from you - it goes fairly well, thanks - just getting a bit anxious about upcoming surgery, but trying to keep busy. 

Helen - wishing you some peace of mind

Betsy - sorry your boob is giving you trouble again.

Hope everyone had a good weekend - I start the marathon this week of clearance for the surgery -whoopie!

Geri

JudyNaomi

Hi all, thanks for your good wishes. 

Betsy - any improvement today?

Helen - how about you? Are you feeling any brighter/

Geri - thinking of you for your upcoming surgery and hoping that all will go well for you.

Love to everyone else who I have not mentioned,

Hugs to all, Judy x

Titan

Hey Judy...good luck with your scan this week....you are such a wonderful friend on here...I have to admit that I was freaking a little when you weren't on here....We were worried about you...we are mostly all mommies and worry when the chicks don't check in...doesn't matter how old you are...

JudyNaomi

Titan - you are so sweet, thank you!

Everyone has been so supportive throughout, I don't know what I would have done without this site.

My scan is Thursday, I hope it will all be ok and I will let you all know as soon as I can get to the computer : )

Hugs to all, Judy x

BetsyBuzz

Hi all - they decided to take a biopsy today so I'm a little sore. My BSGI was non-conclusive. They have referred me to a lymphedema specialist. I don't have it in my arm but in my chest. They also think I'm in the early stages of an acute form of radiation induced fibrosis. They are putting me on my fifth round of antibiotics because of the biopsy. Good news...they say once I heal from the biopsy it's ok to hot tub again.

Judy - good luck with your scan on Thurs.

JudyNaomi

Thanks Betsy and I hope you feel better soon.

Good night all, Judy x

hrf

Judy, good luck with the scan. Please let us know how it goes.

JudyNaomi

Thanks Helen, I will let you know tomorrow.

Hugs to all, enjoy this wonderful weather!

Judy x

JudyNaomi

Hi all,

Just stopping by to let you know that I had my scan today and everything is fine! YAY!!!

Thanks for all your support! I hope that you are all doing well today!

Hugs to all, Judy x

AmyIsStrong

Judy  -I AM SO GLAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! see? I can't stop smiling.

hrf

Good news, Judy. Thanks for reporting so promptly.....LOL

inthemoment

Great news Judy - so happy for you!

Titan

Yay Judy!  Party time!

BetsyBuzz

Judy...so glad to hear your results were good. It's good to hear positive news!

JudyNaomi

What an amazing group you are!!! I opened this site and was overwhelmed by all your lovely, happy responses!

It is good to hear positive news! It is about time : ) How is everyone doing? Betsy - how are you feeling?

Helen - I think of you often : ) 

I hope you are all feeling ok and have a good weekend.

Hugs to you all,

Judy xoxox

AmyIsStrong

Ladies- I am still having the hot flashes and waking up intermittently all night (and then having trouble falling back to sleep).

Question - I have seen advertised 'menopause nightgowns' - they are made of a microfiber that is supposed to wick moisture away from your skin and keep you cool. They say they 'float on your skin, allow better sleep, less waking up' etc.  They are pricey - around $50 for a plain short sleeved nightshirt so I wanted to ask here first - has anyone tried one? Your thoughts?

If none of you have, I will order one and do product research and post my review!

THANKS in advance. Have a good weekend.

Amy

inthemoment

Went for pre-op testing at the hospital yesterday prior to the leaky TE exchange to implant and simple mastectomy on left breast (non-cancer side).  The anesthesiologist kept looking at my EKG and, being a nurse, I was aware that something was not right - all he would tell me was there was an "incomplete left bundle branch block" which is an electrical conduction defect of the heart.  I have been monitored every three months with an Echocardiogram, since I am on Herceptin.  This bundle branch block is new, and could signify heart damage or a heart attack that occurred within the past 5 months (last time I had an EKG from the cardiologist).  I made an appointment today with my primary care doc, since I wasn't scheduled to see him until 5 days before the surgery for medical clearance.  Well, no big surprise, he won't clear me until I see the cardiologist and have a stress test done to determine if I have decreased blood flow to the heart. 

He is doing the absolute right thing - protecting me since the surgery requires general anesthesia and 3-4 hours in length.  I am just so tired of these surprises - here I thought I had myself all set for March 31st, and now I have to deal with more tests and possibly more bad news.  I'm also mad at myself, because I let the oncologist intimidate me into not having my own cardiologist follow me for the every 3 month echo - he said he didn't know him and that cardiologists didn't understand Herceptin, so to stay with his cardiologist interpreting the echo.  I knew at the time that there should be an independent opinion on the Herceptin and possible cardiac problems (I also had Adriamycin which increases the risk of heart problems).  WHY don't I follow my instincts, especially when I don't care for my oncologist (just was waiting for the Herceptin to be done before switching - have had 38 of 52 weekly treatments - I didn't want to start with someone new when I was towards the end of the chemo, just figured I'd switch afterward for follow-up).  Not that the ekg changes are anything the oncologist could prevent, but with my own cardiologist, he would be automatically doing an ekg every 3 months, so maybe would have seen this sooner.  I also realize that the Herceptin is an extremely important part of my treatment, so has to be weighed with risk of heart problems. 

Sorry to be going on and on like this, but I was really blind-sided by this.  Now I'm not sure when surgery will be, or if this heart thing will mean no more Herceptin for now....thanks for letting me get this out. 

Monday is the appointment with my cardiologist, and no matter what else happens, he is who I will be following up with from this point forward, and if I have to change oncologists now because he doesn't "know" my cardiologist, then I will!

You know, when I think of it, I have been telling the onc that I am soooo fatigued, somewhat short of breath, etc.  Of course, all he ever says to me is "your counts look really good" - well, how about ME? How do I look?  Ya think I need to get away from him?  Sounds to me like even I agree with that statement myself!

 Geri

AmyIsStrong

Geri

I am so sorry this has happened to you.  I know that for me, the unexpected is what really throws me and is hardest to deal with.  So I know that tihs must be very unsettling.

Yes, I agree about changing the oncologist. Funny because I am going to change mine when I am done with Herceptin, too. Just waiting....

From what I remember (not completely confident in this), I thought they gave you a 'break' from herceptin to let your heart heal or strengthen or whatever they are looking for, and then they resume. I think I remember someone on the TCH thread saying they had to do that. You might want to go over there and post about your situation and see if anyone has feedback.

The surgery may need to be postponed, and I KNOW how upsetting that is. BUT - I am so glad they caught this. You would NOT want to go into surgery if anything is not right with your heart. The most important thing is that you are getting good care and not doing anything risky (although that sounds crazy - ALL this stuff is risky in one way or another, but you know what I mean).

Please keep us up to date and let us know what is decided. Someone on here has a signature line that says something like "When life throws you a curve, learn to swerve" and I guess that's what we're all learning through all this.

Again, I am so sorry. We are with you in spirit in love & support. Please keep posting on how you are doing.

Amy

inthemoment

Amy - thank you for the thoughtful post.  It is so good to have this safe place to worry out loud.  I have made very little of this to my daughters and my "boyfriend" (weird every time I write that - at 61 who would have thought I'd still be talking about boyfriends, but we've been together almost 10 years).  I don't want them to worry before we know what is going on - I haven't even told them it may mean postponing the surgery. 

You are right, Amy, that depending on the circumstances of the heart issues, you can take a break from the Herceptin and start up again.  Usually that is done if your ejection fraction goes below acceptable levels and to see if it will come back up after a break.  I'm not sure if the same thing applies if there has been actual damage, like a heart attck or a conduction defect, but I am trying really hard not to let myself get too far ahead of what I don't really know yet - like I said...trying, but not too successful at this point.  I will try to keep "swerving" - great line

Are you finished with the Herceptin - I notice your signature line is for completion 3/10.  Have you found a new oncologist yet?

Thanks for the support - I know we all can empathize when one of us is scared - and that's what a lot of this ranting is about...I'm scared.

Geri

Titan

Amy..no haven't tried those gowns but they sound nice...I usually have a botle of water by the bed...when I was really going through those I kept a wet washcloth near the bed and whenever i had the flash just dropped it right on my midriff...it felt really cold at first but did the trick..cheaper than $50.

Geri..why do they ask us the questions aboiut being out of breath if they don't listen..your onc should have listened..its like he didn't want to hear the "wrong answer"    ditch him

BetsyBuzz

Amy - I sleep in a water wicking t-shirt every night and it's wonderful. It's actually an exercise shirt but it works wonders. It's light weight and pulls to sweat away from my body so I don't get cold. I've used them nightly since I started this process. Now I wish I would have bought every shirt on the rack. I got them at REI...an outdoors sporting goods store and haven't been able to find them this year.

Geri- I am so sorry to hear about your set back. I'm sure you are scared. I would be. If we learn nothing else from this damn process...we learn to listen to ourselves. You know your body better than any doctor...follow your gut. Sending you good thoughts and luck with finding an onc that you like.

I am still healing from my biopsy. I ended up with two stitches and a very swollen boob. The biopsy was centered right between the area of my lumpectomy and the area that broke open during rads. So I think it was a good target spot.  I got a call from physical therapy today to make an appointment. Maybe by next week I will feel ok with making an appointment. But right now I am just sore and tired and the last thing in the world I want is someone touching or massaging my boob. I need a freakin break!!

Alaina

Happy Cancerversary to Me!!!

One year ago today, at 5:15pm, I got the call that changed my life forever. With 9 simple words, compassionately uttered, ...

"Ms. Jenkins, I don't have good news for you..."

...I became a survivor. Because that is also the precise moment my will to live kicked in.

I'm sure the doctor who called also at some point said, "You have breast cancer" or something along those lines, but honestly, I don't remember much beyond that first conversation and those 1st nine words.

I vaguely remember asking him if I was going to die and him saying "not today, and probably not tomorrow" and then he proceeded to talk about the importance of starting treatment right away and how that would make a huge difference in my prognosis.

Yesterday, I got to re-live many of those anxious moments from a year ago, because I had another mammogram (for my remaining right breast) and MRI (whole upper torso). I felt as if I were literally re-tracing my steps, and I had a flood of mixed emotions.

At this point, I have the same feeling today that I had a year ago. Overwhelming Gratitude.

I'm grateful my cancer was caught when it was (per my oncologist, "not soon enough but right on time!").

I'm grateful for the amazing medical team assembled for my care at Mercy Hospital. They are truly the BEST in every possible way, and this has made SUCH a huge difference.

I'm grateful this year has flown by so fast!!! We have been through SO MUCH and I'm still just amazed at how fast it has seemed to go by!

I'm grateful to be cancer-free, to be "dancing with NED" (No Evidence of Disease). Every day is a chance to make the choices and changes to keep it that way!

I'm grateful for the love and support and prayers of so many friends and family! My circle of love and friendship has just grown tremendously and this has truly made a significant difference in my overall quality of life!

What do I love about life today? That I'm ALIVE!!!

So talk to me...What do YOU love about life?

Happy Spring! Alaina

Titan

Today is my canserversry too (one year from surgery)...great to read your post Alaina because for some reason I'm very, very jittery today!  But your post helped me and it is a beautiful day!

inthemoment

You are so beautiful in body and spirit, Alaina...thank you for reminding me I do have much to be grateful for, even when I'm feeling overwhelmed...many more years of beautiful days to all of us!

 And Titan, I am sending calming thoughts to you....got them?  I don't have too many to spare, but you can have them all!

Geri

Titan

Thanks Geri!  Those calming thoughts worked....I'm good now...maybe it was too much caffeine!  Anyway..it is hard to not think of what we are all doing one year ago!  Surgery, getting ready to start chemo!   I told my DH that having surgery was the easy part!  Just thinking about a year ago..how about we were all kinda innocent about what we were going to go through in the next few months....I'm sorry but I think chemo was HECK..even though I did well...the needles, the scary drugs..all of it...the mental and physical part....trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy through the whole thing....

Titan

Oh and Alaina...I think I love you and all the wonderful people on this thread...when you post I just feel that you are giving us all one big hug..here is a big HUG to you sweetie..you deserve it....plus I remember your picture of you dressed as a green m and m...my favorite food!

BetsyBuzz

Alaina..thank you, it's easy to go down the (ppp) pitty party path when things aren't going well. I too am thankful. I'm thankful I have wonderful support from my dh, family and friends...and of course you ladies! I am thankful for my garden that gives me joy when my body feels bad, I'm thankful it's spring. I am thankful that I have a good job, relatively good health, medical insurance and I FINALLY GOT MY DRUGS!  So...so..much to be thankful for. Thanks for shifting my focus.

I love M&M's too!