Anyone Starting Chemo Jan. 2010?

GeorgiaBird:  I hear you! I am exactly where you are, #3 AC knocked me down and the third week (this week) is supposed to be my one good week of the three and I'm still feeling it.  Plus my eyelid is red itchie and swollen.  Finally got a script for it, Tobradex.  Maybe now I can get some relief and have one good week. I'm NOT looking forward to #4 except only that it's my last AC, thent I start Taxotere.

You were smart to put on the surgical mask, who really cares what people think, put yourself first and your well being first.  

11tyBillion:  Where do I find the link for a private message to you to give you my stats? 

tamatar - good for you!

Grace - will be praying those spots are not cancer

nkrun - you have such a great and support group of co-workers! Love the wigs, especially the pink ones!

I didn't get my biopsy results today so will have to hold out till Monday. I did call and try to see if it could be sooner but no luck.

Nkrun - Interesting to hear you say how bad you felt though you looked good on the outside.  I have the same experience, everyone says how great I look or how strong I am.  I really am tired of hearing that.  I know that they are just being nice and maybe I do look normal or good but I am not myself on the inside.

 For those who have their 4th AC coming up, I had a rough week but then I felt really good (better 2nd week than with my 3rd AC).  Of course, I got a terrible cold just when I was feeling great!  I told my husband that we all agree that we should have a waiver from getting sick.  He said that the obvious that I doesn't work that way but maybe we will be super healthy or have a protective armour when we finish these treatments.  Sounds good to me!

tamatar:  Good for you, he was a jerk, looser.  I would have probably pulled it off just to shock him. 

My onc said they don't do DD at our center.  Maybe it varies by center? Good question.

It is amazing again how similar our experiences, thoughts, and emotions are.  I have so many friends and family around me but only you all truly get what I am going through.

As for the difference between weekly and bi-weekly Taxol, my onc said it more about convenience (bi-weekly) vs. less SE (weekly).  I just don't think I could handle having to go in every week for 3 months.  I have dealt with the SE of AC so I think I can deal with Taxol.  Just hoping the neuopathy is not an issue.

My 13 year old DD is taking cooking this semester.  For their big final project, they have to cook a Date Night Dinner for their parents.  It has to be a 4 course meal with theme.  She is cooking us a French meal.  French Onion Soup, then Frissee Salad with Asparagus and bacon, the entree is Chateaubriand, French Mashed Potatoes, and Haricot Verts, for dessert we are having Chocolate Mousse.  She has been cooking, slicing, prepping since she got home from school yesterday.  It should be great.  I am feeling better but have no voice.  I will only be able to whisper during dinner.  By the way, we very specifically planned this to be on a "good weekend".  I am going to take a nap now so I am up to the dinner.

Hi Everyone-

I usually am the one who is positive and upbeat, today I am feeling down and just plain BEAT.  I am tired of feeling tired.  Tired of not looking like me, tired of not feeling like me.  Today for whatever reason does NOT feel like a good day.  Basically having a pity party today.  UGH!  Not sure why, I can usually find something positive.  Not today.  Sigh.  I know that if I were to go for a walk, I might feel a bit better... but do you ever have those days that you just feel like wallowing in the self pity?!  UGH!  I wish that I could just snap my fingers and the day would be better, and this cancer crap would be gone!  I would snap and I would have my hair back and my breasts back and my energy back!!  I just want me back!  

Thanks for listening ladies - just really needed to vent today!  Just having a crappy cancer day!

~Sher

I have a question...Yesterday during my annual eye exam I failed the glaucoma test and was immediately referred to a specialist.  I just started wearing reading glasses and had 3 previous good glaucoma exams.  Of course my mind jumps to it must be the cancer spreading and effecting my brain and eye. I never had a brain mri to confirm that the cancer has not spread to my brain.  Does anyone know if chemo impacts the eyes to cause severe uneven pressures in the eyes or glaucoma??????

I also enjoyed the sun today--70 degrees! I walked my dog twice as far as usual and did lots of yard work. Now my knees and low back are sore, but I'm in good spirits. I got the weeds up in the front yard and a lot in he back. My goal is to get the front yard just perfect before my chemo on Friday.I live in a neighborhood with an HOA that have strict CC&Rs. I know they will cut me slack because I have cancer and I served on the board of directors for 2 years, but I don't want any stress behind that.

Pagowens--how sweet that the checker was sensitive enough to see you may need a little extra tlc. I'm sure it won't take all that much to get you feeling all gussied up. Hope the ACS makes good on their promise to you this time.

Friscomom--you are in my thoughts as you wait to get rewsults tomorrow.

Just Sher--we all have pity parties. I thinkit wouldbe unhealthy not to. There are at least parts of everyday when I with I could wake up from this nightmare and discover that none of this ever happened to me. This  whole ordeal sucks! No getting around it.

Nkrun--yes chemo can cause vision problems. Check out this article I found online. Not only chemo, but Dexamethasone, a steriod  that I take for chemo side effects. Geez, they forgot all  those details when I first agreed to this: http://www.mesotheliomaweb.org/eyeproblems.htm

I booked a vacation for the family to go to Washington DC in June. We may try to sqeeze in a day in NY. We really can't afford ot, but we all deserve a vacation after this nightmare. SOmething fun to look forward to! 

My benefit went really well.  I was nervous about socializing because I'm not much for that sort of thing, but it went great and the turnout was awesome.  And my bf's unemployment went through so life seems a little kinder lately.  Bf's grandma died and her funeral was this weekend so we had a zillion people staying.  I stuffed my face with every kind of food imaginable so got to get back to eating better again.  The weather has been warmer and so comes the spring mud.  My big tests are the week after this one.  My mom is buying a plane ticket for the beginning of april because I will either be having db mast or finding out I'm terminal.  I'm looking forward to seeing my mom and having her get to see the baby; she hasn't seen him since he was a month old.  He just turned 7 months.  I've had a yeast infection for several weeks and got my period back for some reason.  And my port has been freaking me out lately for some reason.  I've had it since '07 and I'm just having these thoughts about having a heart attack or something.  I'm sure its just nerves with the upcoming results. 

Good luck to all the ladies starting taxol. 

mslrg

Thanks. I am following up with my onc today to see if indeed I need to see the eye specialist. Great...no boobs, no ovaries, no hair, dental problems from not flossing or going to the dentist and now glaucoma. An androgynous, toothless, blind beast. Hey at least I will be cancer free.

I had my last TC this past Thurs. I am still feeling like shit.  I just want to feel better again.  I feel like it is taking forever to get back to normal.  It is a beautiful day outside, so at least I have my windows open and I am breathing some fresh air.  I am trying to work up the energy to take the dog for a walk.

mslrg It is so funny you mentioned booking a trip.  I did the same thing.  I booked a cruise for the second week of June.  I needed something to look forward to.   It is only 3 weeks after my radiation ends, but I'm hoping I will be ok. At least this vile chemo should be pretty much gone.

I pray tomorrow is a better day for everyone.

mslrg--Good for you booking a vacation to DC! I'm going to try for Disneyland in the fall (a 3 year old wouldn't appreciate DC!)

paxton--Good to hear from you! Praying your scans will be negative.

nkrun--I haven't been been tested for glaucoma, but my eyes have been bothering me since I started AC. Stinging, watering, etc... Makes for an interesting look when I try to wear makeup!

issymom--How was the dinner your daughter made for you? What a treat!

I go for my final AC tomorrow. I think tonight will be an Ativan night so I can get some sleep!

bubbalu - I have had the same issue with the cytoxan.  At this point, it is so hard to know what is a side effect from chemo and just the yucks, pains, and/or things not working/feeling right.  Two months from now (sooner for some) we can start the return to normal (or new normal).  What will we look like and how will we feel??

By the way, our dinner was great on Saturday night.  My daughter did a fabulous job.  She served a 4 course meal and we started on time and everything was cleaned up by 9:30 and the 3 of us sat down and watched "No Reservation" on TV.  What a perfect movie after 2 days of cooking.  I did have to rub her feet as she was on her feet for most of day!  My only negative to give her was that she was so concerned about the presentation, that the entree was not as warm as I would have liked.  It was cute to watch.

Tomorrow is my first Taxol.  It will be good to know how it will actually be and how the SE hit me. I still am fighting this terrible cold.  I sound bad (unless you heard me on Saturday) and have a persistent cough. Though I don't want the chemo, if I have to have it I want to stay on schedule.  WBCs have not been an issue throughout AC but I must be using up quite a few with cold.

Paxton - It's good to hear from you again.  Glad your benefit went well and that life is treating you more kindly lately.  You will be in all of our prayers when the testing starts.  Make sure you let us know when the day get closer.