Anyone Starting Chemo Jan. 2010?

gramoflexus

Ms lrg , Just a quick thank you for sharing the link to Dina's journey . I started getting tears in my eyes just hearing her angelic voice . On my way for another filler upper to my future new boob .So looking forward to coming back home and listening to Dina.s Please passs on a hug to her for me . Fondly Linda

friscosmom

Had FEC #3 on Thursday, this one was way worse than #1 and 2. I spent Friday, Saturday and Sunday in bed, I'm not joking, I was in bed 95% of that time. The nausea was way worse this time and the anti-nausea drugs make me sleepy so that didn't help things. I'm normally back to work on Monday's after my treatments but I couldn't do it today. I'm working some from home but I just still feel like crud.

wren22 - thanks for the information, I have been very concerned about Tamoxifin and I know they don't give it any longer than 5 years now but still... it scares me. I am pre-menopausal and 100% estrogen receptive; I asked my onco about just having a complete hysterectomy to control my hormones and he said that's not necessary. I'm 42, my sons are 23 nd 20 and I'm not planning on having any more children, I think he and I need to talk about that further.

I still haven't started "chemo-pause" or at least my monthly visitor hasn't stopped. I mentioned that to my onco and he didn't seem concerned. I worry that the chemo might not be doing it's job.

pumpkinsoup

mslrg--Thanks for posting Dina Howard's diary. I started listening, but got way too emotional, so will try again later. How wonderful to have her as a resource.

I had my third dense dose AC last Tuesday, and have just today been able to join the ranks of the living. It just seems to be getting worse with each subsequent infusion. Fatigue, nausea, pain from Neulasta. I can't believe I have to do this again next Tuesday. The good news in all of this is my daughter didn't get the chickenpox from my shingles, but is getting over a nasty cold, which I somehow avoided.

Tamoxifen scares me, too. I'm also premenopausal, but I'm only 12% ER positive. My oncologist says that, yes, I am ER positive and need tamoxifen because that 12% might respond. Another crap shoot I guess and more scary SEs.

mslrg

Pumpkinsoup--I'm sorry.I didn't mean for it to have that effect. Just know that as scared as Dina was during her journey, she came through it and is healthy and well now. That is what gives me hope. Hang in there!

Grammoflexus, glad you enjoyed Dina's audios. She really is a good , kind person, just as she comes through on the recordings.

Friscomom, you are having such a bad time of it! I'm so sorry. I hope you start to feel better soon. What did your onc say about the nausea? Maybe they can try prescribing you something different. As for the chemopause-my periods have stopped, but that doesn't happen to everyone. My last one was in January. Then I got hot flashes every day since my 2nd TC. No period. It may or may not come back after chemo, who knows? BUt if yours don't stop it doesn't mean the chemo isn't working.

pumpkinsoup

mslrg--Dina's website is great! I started listening to her first audio the week she was diagnosed, and it just brought back those horrible feelings the week when I was first diagnosed. It was so personal to listen to her speak--like it was me talking. I'll bypass that first week next time ; )

I have great hope that ALL of us women will be here posting about how we're five years out and doing fine, and we'll be able to help the newly diagnosed with their fears and provide them hope. But, the road getting there sucks right now!!

mslrg

I played Dina's audio for my DH to hear this evening. He had a similar reaction--the part where she was waiting to go in for her double mastectomies brought back the day when I went in for  mine. Also, her first chemo treatment. I had a lot of the same feelings. Fortunately, I don't have the same level of fear of needles that Dina has, poor thing! I don't like needles, but I can tolerate them, somewhat.

Anonymous

Friscomom-I too have not entered into chemo pause. I mentioned it to my onc and she said chemopause typically hits after 1 or 2 cycles. Since I've had 3 cycles of A/C so I guess my hormones are being stubborn.  I am soooo over having monthly cycles and anxiously awaiting an end.  I know be careful what you wish for. I did a rough calculation and I spent over 6 years (2200 days) of my life enduring menstruation.  I believe my time has come for it to end!  We should not have to suffer chemo SE's and PMS at the same time.

mom2Bnegativex3

ITA Nkrun! I wish you didn't have it. That is one of the only bright side of allthis crap!! I thought I posted this before but I don't now. Who has had their surgeries? I am two weeks away from mine right now. I had 4 A/C and then 3 weeks after surgery I will get 4 T's. how was chemo and your TE"s How long does it take from the start of your TE to the exchange! thanks ladies. I hope you allare feeling good.

friscosmom

nkrun - Amen to that, I mean, there isn't much to look forward to during this process, I had that one little thing to look forward to; well... that and not shaving! I just had cycle 3 of my FEC so maybe I'll get a break in March.

Feeling sooo much better today, I'm starting to feel like the little engine that could again and maybe I really can manage to get through X4 on the 18th. I pray the Taxotere is kinder.

gramoflexus

Hi Everyone , I had my first Taxol treatment today , 4 treatments every 2 weeks . Doc said this is a kinder drug , time will tell . They also gave me Benydrel(sp) in the IV  boy did that knock me out .

Friscomom . good for you just one more you can do it you can do it AC was not kind to me many low days . Last week I had bowel troubles , developed a hemorrhoid . Finally I thought got that squared away only to go to the bathroom at doc office today and saw blood strands in my stool . Will see if that happens again . Just one more thing to put me in a state of PANIC.

Everyone keep up the good work

gramoflexus

mom2bnegative ,

I had my surgery before . It was not even a thought for me to just do a lumpectomy I wanted the stuff gone and for me I felt taking the whole breast was the best . DH was the best  he emoptied my drains changed my bandage . It took me a lot of strength to even look at my breast after surgery . Finally after covering my eyes for several weeks I took a look . I went for reconstruction with a tissue expander and each week I get more saline . so it is starting to form .Not sure when exchange will happen for me I think it will be after radiation so I still have a while to wait . Expanding for me was great so far I have 360 cc and the tissue epander is 550 cc . other than a little toghtness it was no problem at all with chemo  Hope that helps  SE as you know varies so much on the individual , but for me I will stress GOOD DENTAL CARE rinsing with baking soda and water after every meal . I got special flouride toothpaste from my dentist . I never got a mouth sore never had that mettalic taste ,And force the liquids

Issymom

Hi all,

I think I have finally turned the corner physically after AC #4.  I am feeling much better and have more energy today than I have had in the past week.  I will find out this week if chemopause will hit me.  I think it will.  I am 47 and was already dealing with the initial stages of perimenopause.  As long as my hot flashes don't get much worse, I should be fine and it will be welcome change.  I guess it doesn't matter much since I will be having a hysterectomy in June.

Glamoflexus - I am really curious to hear how you do with Taxol this week.  My first one is next Tuesday.  My onc said it should be much easier, but I realized this week that I am in that "unknown" world again.  What will it be like, how will I react? 

I have been having my own "pity party" this week.  A friend called me today and after we talked for a little while about non-cancer stuff, she said "I can guess how you are doing physically but how are you doing mentally?"  I realized no one has asked me that in quite some time.  I get the "how are you doing or how are you feeling" questions all the time.  I am sure that they mean physically and emotionally but I am very reserved (not sure if that is the right word) about sharing my emotions.  Doesn't work with my strong confident personality.  Anyway, I really appreciated her asking about my emotional health.  She said that it was just a given that I was physically strong enough to beat cancer but that I needed to keep up my emotional health.  I need to share some of these bottled up concerns/worries with my DH.  I don't want him to worry so I don't talk to him about them.  Anyway, at the end of our conversation she told me that she had a friend who was going through some stressful times and my friend told her "It is ok to have go a pity party but only drink one glass of wine!"  We all can have our bad days (week) but then we need to come here and be strong and fight this disease.

Enough of my rambling, have a great week.

Tamatar

UGH...Me too girls...I got my period again today...I have had 3 A/C and was looking forward to thise SE!.  I also have to still shave my legs...my armpits and head and "other" areas are BALD...or almost, but I still have leg stubble...DANG!!!!!!

We will get through this...one SE and challenge at a time.

Have a great evening!

mslrg

I had a double mastectomy in October, with tissue expanders. I began getting the saline fills in late November. But I put them on hold during chemo because they are painful for me (everyone's different) and I couldn't do chemo and saline fills at the same time. I was taking valium and barbituates and staying in bed for the day after those shots! I still have to get about 4 more fills after chemo and then the implant surgery. I'm not sure when that will happen. I would like my blood counts to get back up to normal levels again before I go in for surgery. Red blood cells take a bit longer to replenish than white.

Issymom, it's ok to have a pity party-you are going through chemo for crying out loud! Don't underestimate the magnitude of what you're going through! This is major stuff. I know I will get over the physical side of this, but the emotional side will take longer to heal.

I just got back from seeing my acupuncturist and feel a lot better. I have scheduled my next appointment right after my next infusion, as her office and the oncology clinic are very close to each other. I'm hoping this helps with some of the bad side effects next time, especially the intestinal ones. 

bikerchick1

Hi Girls,

Haven't been on for awhile but have been catching up on all the posts.  Had AC#3 last Friday and have been feeling down, queasy, and tired the last couple of days.  I find it so interesting that so many of us are feeling down around this third treatment.  Is this a common thing I wonder?

I was feeling really good, actually back to normal last week, before my last chemo and now just feeling really hopeless about things and dreading AC#4 even though its a couple weeks away.  Then the unknown of Taxol/Herceptin after that!  Spent most of last night crying, which I haven't done in forever!  Work has been stressful this last week too and sometimes I just want to walk away, but can't... need the money and the benefits to cover all these drugs I'm taking.  Don't even get me started on the drugs.  My drawer is full of stuff I'm taking... Valtrex, Cipro, Diflucan, Ativan, anti nausea drugs, Pariet, and the list goes on.  My onc asked me if I felt like a druggie last week!

I guess I've only been trying to deal with the physical side of breast cancer and have pushed the emotional part of it into a corner.  I like what lssymom said about the glass of wine...  A pity party once in awhile is ok.  It doesn't help that my hormones are all over the map and I'll probably be entering chemopause during this cycle.

All you ladies are an inspiration though and I hope for everyone an easier time on AC#4.

bikerchick

youngmomof3

well this was supposed to be a good week for me but as luck would have it I have a terrible sinus infection which has knocked me on my butt. I am beyond annoyed right now! Went to work yesterday b/c I had so much to do but was miserable the entire day and then went to dr. today for meds and stayed home in bed the rest of the day. I am having such a hard time with feeling so crappy this week b/c I have so much going on at work and home and count on my good weeks to make up for the chemo week. And when I am feeling bad physically, emotionally I am not much fun to be around. Of course I am feeling guilty about not being having a lot of patience with my kids right now.

Wore my scarf out for the first time in public last night. I've worn it in the car on the ride home from work and even that gives me some anxiety as I wonder what the person in the car is thinking when they look at my. Logically I realize that probably nobody is looking or thinking about me or my scarf. We had a kindergarten night at my son's school and I was feeling like crap and didn't want to put on the wig so I asked the boys and my DH and they all said they didn't care if I wore the scarf. Thought maybe it would be easier for me to be out in public if my family was by my side and it was. The teachers and principal were all so sweet coming over and telling me how great I looked and once I got over my initial anxiety about the whole thing I honestly forgot about my scarf or what people were thinking. Also although I don't want people to treat me any different I did feel more true to myself and what I am going through by not hiding behind my wig and smiling and saying everything is just great. The truth is I have cancer, have lost my hair and am doing the best I can. Glad I got it out of the way and think I will feel a little more comfortable being out in public with my scarf on so now my next mission to tackle is going into work(school building) without it and fielding questions and looks from the students. maybe I'll wait another week or so to do that.

Enjoyed girls night over the weekend and even had a WHOLE glass of wine and it tasted pretty darn good. So nice to spend time with friends and laugh like we were in high school again. Nothing like a girlfriend to lift your spirits up. Also enjoyed that the night wasn't all about me, talking about cancer and how I am doing. Amazingly there were moments when I forgot I was sick until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror but also had a few moments when everyone was laughing and out of nowhere the Big C word came sneaking back into my brain as if to remind me that it hasn't gone away. Oh how I miss the days before cancer where my biggest issues just didn't seem quite so big.

michelle_nj

Hello Sisters,

I feel tired and my nausea is coming back, but I hope tomorrow day6, is my last bad day.

Mom2Bnegativex3 - I had a double mastectomy in December, with tissue expanders and first fill during the operations. I started going for the fills in January and did it every week or second week, till I finished it last week, 420cc. No pain during the filling but tightness and more or less discomfort a few good days after. I still have limited flexibility, can't exercise, can't really lateral park ;-), but it is doable for me and I'm glad I did it. I just wanted it out of my way. After I finish chemo, 4xTaxol, if I need radiations, the exchange will be in a month if I don't need radiations, the exchange will be in 2 months.

Wish you all well!

Issymom

Youngmom- I agree with your statement of hiding behind the wig.  Sometimes I want to look just like I don't have cancer or don't want to talk or think about.  Most of the time, I am most comfortable wearing my knit hats or scarves.  I go to the grocery store that way now (I always see people I know).  I realized today that I am comfortable without my wig.  From a short distance, I saw a couple that I knew but hadn't seen in months.  They were walking by an open area at the store I was in.  She looked in my direction and I waved.  She either didn't recognize me or didn't see me.  Either way, I thought to myself that I was comfortable enough not to be afraid to run into people.  When the chemo is done, we will still look different for some time.  We have to be comfortable.

I must be feeling better today because I have been quite chatty today.  I hope all of you have a good week.

pagowens

Hi All,

Been a while since I posted but have been quite tired/fatiqued and just trying to get through the days.  I go for my last AC this afternoon (hooray) and am trying to get myself psyched up for it!  Like some of you I am now anemic and the onc has prescribed iv Iron - which I will get next week during my in-between week. Meanwhile, trying to also eat more stuff with iron in it as well.  The Adriamycin has caused the bottom of my feet and the tips of my fingers to hurt and become very dry, so I'm figuring two more weeks of that and some of this SEs should go away.

I asked about SE from Taxol and was told that hair loss (of what's left) will get worse at first - probably lose the eyelashes and eyebrows and any other remaining body hair.  My nose hairs are already almost gone - hence a drippy nose like a leaking faucet.  I suppose that will continue.  The tingling in toes and fingers is common and fatique is common.  Also common is the allergic reaction at the time of IV, hence they give Benedral in the iv and that tends to knock you out.  Not common is nausea and some of the other side effects from the AC (thrush, the very dry and painful skin, etc.).  So, whoopee - am going to get totally bold instead of partially bald...but then the onc nurse told me that, for some unknown reason, toward the end of the Taxol hair should start growing again. She also stated that the Taxol is simply not as harsh a drug on your body as the AC combo. And, as a blessing to me, she called the research nurse and arranged to have me come to the onc's only once a week startng with the Taxol protocol.  Yippee - a big help.

After the 12 Taxol is a month wait and then I start the 6-weeks of daily radiation.  I will also be on the Tamoxifen for 5 years post all this.  I had a hysterectomy in 1994 - your Adrenal gland continues to produce a low level of Estrogen.  I am ER+ PR+, as a result.  I don't believe - but you should be guided by your oncologist  - that having a total hysterectomy precludes the need to stop hormone production.  I was told by both my Breast Surgeon and Oncologist that blocking the production (even that very low level from the Adrenal Gland) prevents the "soil" for breast cancer from being fertilized and gives you a better shot at nonrecurrence.  I'm taking the daily pill for the 5 years and am hoping that with very good monitoring on my part and my medical team - I'll be okay.  I decided early on that I simply don't know enough in this field to make independent judgements on protocols and that I'd find an oncologist I could trust and for whom I would get recommendations from prior patients.  I figure most of this, anyway, is in God's hands and am praying that I'll be safe as possible there.  We all need to find the path that is most comfortable for each of us.

Hugs to everyone - I can hear the exhaustion in your words (or at least it feels like it for many of you) and wish us all the strength and endurance to get through the rest of this journey!

Hugs,

Pat

friscosmom

Heading for ultrasound to have a new suspicious lump checked out (same breast). I keep telling myself it's nothing but the reality is, I'm scared. How does something materialize like that WHILE you're on chemo? I mean, even if not cancer, isn't chemo supposed to attack fast growing cells? It's too firm to be fluid so it's something else.

Praying it's nothing but i'm not going to rest easy until I know what it is (or isn't). I found this lump last Wednesday before my Thursday treatment, onco felt it at my appointment, said to watch it for a few weeks and we could have an untrasound if it changes. I called him yesterday and told him I really would feel better if we found out what it is NOW rather than later.

Tamatar

friscomom - Prayers are with you...Keep us all posted and know that we are thinking of you!

KAJDerby

Frisco mom- praying for you!  Such a difficult waiting game.

Had my third treatment yesterday.  Am up at 3:45 am and had some oatmeal to eat.  Back to bed. 

mslrg

Friscomom, I don't blame you for wanting to find out now. Where do these doctors get their ideas from? If you were your onc's wife/mother/sister/friend, I bet he'd on on that thing immediately. I don't understand how people who work in this field cannot undestand how much fear we experience with this journey and how they can help to alleviate our fear if they would just use their common sense. My prayers are with you today. If it's any consolation. my surgeon found additional spots on my mammo after the biopsy that did not get biopsied because the radiologist missed them the first time. I had to wait a few weeks for an MRI, but the spots turned out to be benign. These things can happen, but you have every good reason to worry.Good luck!

georgiabirdgirl

Friscomom:  good for you insisting that they look now instead of later.  Why wait, if it's just going to worry you?  My prayers are with you that it's nothing to be concerned about.

Youngmomof3 "The truth is I have cancer, have lost my hair and am doing the best I can."  Simple but true.  This should be my answer everytime someone asks me how I'm doing.  I don't say it, but that's what I feel.  Yes- I'm hanging in there and trying to be normal, but it'll never be normal while I'm in chemo. 

I've been DRAGGING big time this week.  This last AC has totally kicked my butt.  Yesterday I was a total mess and had to get myself home from work early, after a doctor's appt. and then crawl into bed.  Then, my hubby brought the kids home early because of snow and the house was total chaos again.  Poor guy isn't feeling well either, but he's still got to be the parent since I'm out of commission.  My nausea and upset stomach seem to be much worse these days.  YUCK! 

I'm just getting so tired of feeling bad.  I know it's temporary and I'll turn the corner by the weekend, but sometimes I feel like I just can't take it anymore.  It's good to focus on emotional health along with physical SEs because I think the emotional toll can be greater sometimes. 

So, I'm hanging onto to any of the good stuff.  First, they have finally started to get my coumadin schedule under control and I no longer have to give myself shots in the stomach.  Yeah!  My heart rate has finally dipped back below 100.  Yeah!  I still have eyebrows- Yeah!  Oh the things we're thankful for now.  Take care everybody. 

leta17

Friscomom - My prayers are with you and sending positive energy your way!!  It is crazy to think changes like that could happen on chemo, but thinking it isn't likely BC, because these txs are known to shrink tumors, not create.  I too would want to know ASAP, but at the same time I wouldn't want unnecessary poking if perhaps breast tissue is reacting to your earlier surgery, like settling into place, for lack of a better analyogy...Keep us posted!

bubbalu

Yea, I guess I'm the granny of the group.  I expected it to be harder on me as I'm much older but I see I'm hangin in there with you young gals.

I too had a worse #3 AC but I thought it was because of my new port put in 2 days before that was still very painful.  I had 2 skin reactions to the adria in my veins, red streaks and allergic reaction, dark underarm/red skin (peeling now) so they advised a port in spite of my good veins.  Only my right arm wouldn't take it.  Otherwise I have rhinitis, morning sickness type nausea, fatigue, now my eyelids are getting sore, but my appetite is fierce especially for fresh vegetables.  Does anyone know what we can do besides diet to bring up the WBCs?  I get Neulasta but bottom out every time.  Painful bones after that shot.  Is this going to happen after every treatment?  When I get to the end of the Cytoxan I get the weirdest feeling in my sinuses.  As soon as the treatments done it stops.  That gives me the rhinitus, runny nose and watery eyes.

Salt water rinse at bedtime and brushing after every eating is working so far.

What can I expect from Taxotere?  That's next month.

Also I have Davaset for pain but it's s/o big to swallow, anything else work well for bone/muscle pain from Neulasta? 

Also my scalp looks like it has dermatitis, what's good for that?  I got Aveeno baby shampoo but it's still there.  I think it's falling onto my eyelids and making them itchie and swollen too.  Boy, I've learned one thing about my house - there's way too many mirrors here!!!

Praying for everyone here everyday...........I just got a new book called Anti-Cancer, A New Way of Life............hope to get some tips there. 

friscosmom

Thank you everyone for the encouragement and good thoughts. The radiologist came into the room after the tech reviewed my scan with her and said "yep, you've got something there and I think we need to do a biopsy". She's a straight shooter, I'll give her that. So, she had 30 free minutes and we went ahead with the biopsy. Won't likely know the results until Monday so I have a pleasant weekend to look forward to. She did promise that if the results got to her late Friday she'd call me herself with the results if she can't get ahold of my onco. She was very nice, but she said "it" to me; well in a different way. I lost it when she told me we'd have to do a biopsy and as I was apologizing for acting like such a child she told me I have every right to be upset, I'm her age and have breast cancer. Well I was already in a vulerable spot and you know that just made it worse!

I'm just sick, I know this mass wasn't there before because I obsessed over my right breast after the first lump was found, I know exactly what my breast felt like. I don't know what it is, I pray it's nothing and logic would seem to dictate it couldn't possibly be cancer with all the chemo they've been pumping in me. I will try to not obsess over this for the next 5 days but that's much easier said than done.

bubbalu - you made me laugh, "the granny of the group", well everyone needs a good granny in the bunch. Not sure if I've seen you here before, if not, welcome, I wish I had it in me to respond to your questions but I hope one of the other girls will jump on here shortly, I'm just so emotionally spent right now. Bless you and welcome. 

bubbalu

Was just reading about the well meaning older folk's comments at the cancer centers.  Perhaps they don't know what to say so out comes the inappropriate stuff.  For ex. after our son died at age 16, 28 years ago, a lady said to me, 'well at least you have two other sons!!'  Like one son could replace another?

Cancer does not discriminate, it hits all ages.  It's unfair to the senior age too, after struggling and dealing with life's hard knocks (sick parents/sick kids/multiple jobs) and have to deal with the agonies of cancer - ahhhh the golden years? And then there's Medicare which doesn't pay for diddilee squat.............there goes what little money you had left.

Next time someone says something inappropriate remember that they have their own personal agony with this unwelcome disease no matter their age and just nod.  Remember the advances that have been made in cancer treatments.  It used to be that they dumped every drug into everyone and hoped for the best........now it's specialized.  Or when you were diagnosed with a breast cancer lump you might go for surgery and wake up with no breasts.  No lumpectomies, no segmentals, no reconstructions.  Perhaps that well meaning person lost his/her spouse/child to cancer. 

No one even smiles, is friendly or speaks to you at my center except for the staff and onc nurses.  I like it that way. 

bubbalu

friscomom:  Praying for a good report - how could it possibly be cancer if chemo is killing cancer cells?  Perhaps a fluid filled cyst or something else benign, don't loose faith, the waiting is the hardest part.  So glad you got the biopsy right away.  Sending prayers your way.

VegasDiva

Friscomom sending hugs and prayers your way.  Glad they saw you right away.  Waiting for test results is the pits.

I'm having anxiety attacks about tomorrows TC treatment.  At least it is my last one.  YIPPEE  I'm afraid of the side effects, especially after that 4 hr episode I had last time.  They seemed to be getting progressively worse with each one.  This might be a Xanax night.

Diagnosis: 11/2/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-