Full Circle and Freaking Out

Shanagirl- Oh my gosh I feel your fear.  I had to call this morning for my oncology follow up.  Had put it off until after the holidays, but it was at this time 2 years ago my nightmare started.  I hate it being around the holidays.  January 17 was my cancer free date so that is the one I will celebrate/reflect upon.  It's all a scary blur in my mind for dates because it was just one scare after another at that time.  You certainly aren't alone with your fear!  Wish I could say something comforting but everything I have typed and deleted has sounded trite.  We are however in this boat together and perhaps you can relax while I paddle for a while.

Ya know - I get so jealous when someone non bc'er says "Going to have my mammogram" without even a hitch.  I cant even say the word.  I hate all tests and most doctors (lol!)

 I dont get mammos - I get breast mri once a year because I had bilat mast.  But I hate those, I hate my 3 month check ups, I hate it all!!!

I would echo everyone else - it will be horrible, the whole frickin thing stinks, but all you have to do is show up. And have a good cry afterwards. Not one part about the whole cancer thing is fun.

Shana

Microcalcifications are only malignant like approx. 20% of the time is what i was told after they found mine.

I just went in for my 6 month US and it was uneventful, I guess I am weird i worry less about recurrance in breast than I do distant recur. although I had a lump this summer and it was concerning to radiologist they repeated in 3 months and it was gone.

I just went through MRI for recurring back pain and I pretty much was immobilized all weekend with fear that it was METS could not move, just got b9 results back so I understand your fear.

But let me tell you something that the tech told me. They see so many returning BC patients for everything routine checks and checking out something odd and he said MOST of the time it comes back normal MOST.

I think we just are suffering PTSS where we think everything is going to be bad news and it really is not.

Good luck, you will be nervous and then you won't it will be over soon

Shanagirl,  Once we are diagnosed it is really hard to feel "safe" from BC.  The test that could find it again is just another trial we must endure.  I'm so sorry you are afraid.  I'll be holding your hand through cyber space.  

Shana - I'm not to the point you are, but am terrified none the less. Like DCMOM, this post brougth tears to my eyes.   I'm sending ((HUGS)) your way and know that we are all with you....................

shanagirl....(((((HUGS))))))))))).......no mammos for me....had bilat....PS does not do MRI's....so I don't have any routine scans....still see onc every 3 months....he does physical, history and blood work.....and annual bone density.....thats enough for me!!!!